Everyday Isn’t Today

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the car while J was driving.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t particularly relaxing or rejuvenating.  I’ll have to give it another shot before bed tonight.

Ten of Cups - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is traditionally read as an indication of completion past contentment in the area of one’s emotions, creativity, relationships, and intuition.  This often translates into themes that deal with relationship bliss, harmony with others, an alignment of values, and an even flow of abundance in the meeting of everyone’s emotional needs.

What I see here is reassurance, though.   Today has been a slow crawl through the cloying sludgy quagmire of existential quicksand. Every fucking thing I’ve tried to do today has taken three times as long as it should have.  Packaging orders, drawing my cards, taking a shower… even making a sandwich.   I don’t know how or why this has been the case.  If I didn’t know better?  I’d think I had missed my meds, but I just checked last night and I have not missed any.

The appearance of the Ten of Cups in today’s draw is a reassurance that it’s not always like this.  It’s just not.   Today was an aberrant fluke, and not the norm.  So take a deep breath and remember that things usually go much smoother and are much more harmonious.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How is the growing lunar energy manifesting in my life?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Reading Summary:  I’m beginning to see the light (Four of Wands) at the end of the long trek through this winter’s fog (Five of Cups) and just need to remain patient with the process (Temperance).

Take Away:  Lots of reminders this week to foster patience with myself.  It’s a good reminder, though, and one that I need pretty regularly, so I suppose it’s not that big of a surprise.  After so long in the fog and in the effort to find a path out of it and back to a better place mentally and emotionally, I’ve recently begun to identify some progress.  Small at it is, it’s encouraging, and the growing lunar energy will assist in this effort and my progress, as long as I remember to not push.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What would be a better option or path? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Law of Attraction Tarot

Reading Summary:  Accept that I have the tools (Magician) I need to protect what’s important to me (Four of Coins) without going overboard. It’s okay to take some time for self reflection (Hermit), but don’t lose sight of what you’re truly after (Judgement).

Take Away:  When I’m feeling vulnerable, I have a habit of erecting barriers and perpetuating self abuse (not physical but mental/emotional).  There are better ways to accept that I need to take things slow, including accepting I’m capable and making sure I stay in touch with myself and my goals.

DECK USED:  LAW OF ATTRACTION TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How am I blocking my intuition?

Animal Totem Tarot

Reading Summary: I want to go go go (Three of Wands) when instead I need to be seeking a more stable pragmatic approach (Queen of Swords) and grounded energy for myself (Four of Pentacles).  Only with a good foundation can you successfully charge forward toward your dreams (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  So… yeah.  This is yet another reminder about where I am in emerging from the fog I’ve been dealing with over the last few months. As I emerge my intuition will grow and flex, stretching out of that fog along with the rest of me.  But if I allow my tendency to push and rush, this isn’t going to work and it will hinder my progress rather than help.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL TOTEM TAROT

 

Support and Growth

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IMG_2920Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was about dealing with conflict and taking a moment to “step back” during times of conflict in order to see them from an “outside view” rather than internalizing and getting wrapped up in the moment.

The guided meditation also touched on one of the key tenants to my life, which is the assertion that conflict and difficulties are a part of our lives not to break us down, but rather to build us up and make us better and/or stronger.

Every once in a while I run across those that seem to refuse to see the negative things that have happened in their life in any sort of positive light.  Instead, they choose to cast themselves as a victim, and view this horrible thing in their life that happened as the “destroyer” of good in their lives.

I have a hard time with this perspective, and I’m not sure how to communicate with people about moving forward and strength when they so stubbornly stick to this viewpoint.  I always feel a desire to help, but how do you help someone that chooses to sit in the mud and won’t even consider the possibility of standing up?

Right, so that sort of went off on my own little tangent.  Sorry about that.

Two of Cups - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally read as partnerships and themes to do with unity in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What I see in this card is about support, though.  In the imagery both of the harpy women seem to be supporting each other on an emotional level.  It is in the tilt of the heads and angle of the chins.  There is sanctuary here in this partnership.  A connection that feels both familiar and familial.

The message for me in today’s card is that I need to make peace with those I love.  We support each other through the hard times, and are there for each other when needed.  Sometimes?  Conflicts happen.  But in the grand scheme of things, these conflicts are unimportant, and it’s the connection and support that matters.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: Where would I most benefit from patience at this time?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary:  I need to make sure I’m not judging myself too harshly (Judgement) when it takes time to get the money together (Five of Coins)  to support my ambitions (Queen of Swords).  Don’t worry about the flow of money, forcing yourself into an even more stringent spendthrift will not make things move faster (Four of Coins).

Take Away:  The cards are indicating that I need to allow things to unfold at their own pace.  Making myself miserable by being miserly is not going to move things along any quicker.  Just let it move along at its own pace and practice patience.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What area of my life is requiring too much sacrifice at this time?

Tarocco delle Vetrate

Reading Summary:  Trying to find a balance between bolstering my self confidence (Six of Wands) and protecting myself (Nine of Wands) is stealing away (Seven of Swords) my ability to get to where I want to be (Ten of Cups).

Take Away:  As I work at pulling myself out of the fog of uncertainty and self doubt that I’ve been experiencing for the past couple of months, I’m trying too hard to both open myself up to seeking out the light… and keeping a protective outer shell in place. 

These contrasting efforts are preventing me from getting to that place of contentment and abundance I seek in my personal life.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DELLE VETRATE

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How am I using my intuition in my life right now?

Jonasa Jaus Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m using my intuition to assist me in keeping myself afloat (Four of Wands) as I struggle with inner darkness (Devil) and healing from the damage and doubts that winter’s events cast upon me (Nine of  Swords).  Hidden behind that darkness I struggle with is the long term growth I’m seeking (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away:  In my current situation, I am using my intuition as a life preserver to help me in keeping myself from sinking back into the fog.  Although not my only life preserver, it is helping me stay afloat so that I can keep moving forward.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

 

Even Baby Steps Are Progress

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was tacked on to the tail end of my yoga/physiotherapy practice.  As usual, it wasn’t as effective as when I take the time to relax fully and take a separate few minutes to meditate.  Unfortunately, the housekeeper was on her way over and I was limited in just how much time I had to get my morning needs completed before she arrived.

I may do a second meditation tonight when I head to bed, though, as I feel I could use one.

The Hermit - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Hermit card of the Major Arcana, which is a representation of taking time to yourself, often for introspection or time alone to sort things out in some way.

What stands out to me in this imagery today is the motion in the man, and the rocks on the ground.   What I mean by the “motion of the man” is that I see clear movement.  He isn’t standing still, he’s moving forward.  He’s making progress.  But at his feet lie stones that could be tripped over if caution is not taken.

The message that I see in the appearance of The Hermit is that I am getting somewhere in my healing, growth, and development.  I may not always feel like it.  In fact, sometimes it might not feel like it at all. At other times I might come across a rock or two and stumble along the way… but progress is progress, even if it’s one small, agonizingly slow step at a time.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: Where would I most benefit from taking action at this time?

78 Tarot Elemental Tarot of the Natural

Reading Summary:  Move forward from suspension (Ace of Earth).  It’s okay to take a leap (The Fool), but in doing so you might have to move fast in order to stay on target and bypass obstacles (Eight of Fire).  There is a discordant feeling to the combination of these three cards.

Take Away:  Honestly, although I might most benefit from taking a leap and racing ahead at this time concerning my business?  I don’t feel like it’s the right time.  I think this is a test of my patience.  The cards are giving me information that is actionable and even beneficial, but contrary to my current goals…. as if they are asking, “What do you really want?”

DECK USED:  78TAROT ELEMENTAL TAROT OF THE NATURAL

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon where I am mentally over the week ahead?

Arcana Iris Sacra Tarot

Reading Summary:  Accept that this is the beginning of something good (The Fool) and move forward with an open mind and balanced judgement (Queen of Swords) while keeping a focus on the relationships in my life that work in harmony with my own energies.

Take Away:  So although this is probably not going to be a week where I’m going to end up finding a helper, it IS a week for new beginnings and making sure that I get things in order for that eventuality.  At the same time, I need to make sure I’m taking time for myself and those closest to me who make up an important part of balancing my emotional well-being.

DECK USED:  ARCANA IRIS SACRA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When am I intuitively insecure?

Celtic Dragon Tarot

Reading Summary:   At times when I am in a mindset of feeling defensive (Seven of Wands) and insecure (The Moon), my judgement is compromised (Judgement) and it makes it too difficult and distracting to be able to focus (Seven of Cups) in on my intuition clearly.

Take Away:  And thus why I’ve been having a little difficulty over December and January with my intuition feeling muffled.  Because of the fear issue I’ve been dealing with, the fog of that “freeze” reaction that I’ve been working through, and the residual effects of that experience, I am aware that I am feeling a bit handicapped with my intuition at the moment (although that has been resolving itself over the past few weeks a little at a time).

During this time, I’ve noticed that I have been leaning more fully in the area of tarot, and placed image only decks on the back burner for the time being.  I believe this is a natural reaction, as I subconsciously balance my logic mind with my intuitive ability so that I can continue to read cards regardless of where I am on those scales at any given moment.

DECK USED:  CELTIC DRAGON TAROT

 

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Phone Call

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Pull at least three cards and use them to… write about a (real or fictional) call that was a wrong number.

La Corte dei Tarocchi

The Phone Call

There came a time many years ago where a boy filled with youth and potential (Il Sole) lay within a bed, his body broken into pieces (La Torre di Babele).

Lying within the bed after one of the many surgeries needed to put the boy’s body back together, he almost ignored the call when the phone beside his bed rang.  Almost. Instead, exhausted and disheartened, he answered.

On the other side of the line came a man’s voice.  A voice he had never heard before.  The man was confused and struggling, driving in the rain and lost in an unfamiliar city.  He was on his way to a blind date, and couldn’t figure out which way to go (Gli Innamorati). He had meant to call his date and get directions, but had clearly dialed the wrong number.

The man, oblivious to the boy’s own plight,  was all worked up and expressed that he was greatly tempted to just turn around and go back home (Il Diavolo), writing his date off as a flop and accepting (although mournfully) that perhaps he was meant to be alone forever (L’eremita).

The boy in his recovery bed felt bad for the man and his struggle.  He felt that no one that longed so deeply to find a connection with another should allow their fear to keep them from finding that connection, and he said as much to the man.

He told the man that he should go through with the date, because after all… what if (La Ruota della Fortuna) this woman is the person that the man has been waiting for his entire life? (Il Guidizio)

In talking with the boy, this premise gave the man hope (Le Stelle), and he decided to try and go through with the date after all.

The boy in his bed did a search of the man’s destination on his tablet, and pulled up a map with directions (Il Bagatto) to the place that the man was supposed to go.  As the man drove, the boy talked the man through the steps to get to his destination (La Luna and Il Carro).

Once at his destination, the call ended with the boy wishing the man good luck, and the boy then went back to his rest and healing.  The call was soon  forgotten in the fog of medications, surgeries, and physiotherapy in the days and months that passed.

Then one day, a few months later, the boy’s phone rang again with an unfamiliar number. Again it was the same man!  This time calling calm and happy (La Temperanza) and wanting to thank the boy.

He told the boy that on the night of the first call, the man had been dead set on going home.  But, the boy’s encouragement had given him hope and, in going through with the date, he had indeed met the person he’s been waiting his entire life to find.  The man had called to thank the boy, for the man’s life had completely transformed because of this date (La Morte), and he told the boy that he and the woman from the blind date were going to be married (Il Papa).  This news gave the boy pleasure and hope, and he worked even harder to recover so that he could dance at their wedding.

DECK USED: LA CORTE DEI TAROCCHI

 

Be Nice

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Today’s meditation was a little over thirty minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I spent those fifteen minutes lying outside in the rain in the rainforest, moss and decaying vegetation under my back and water soaking through my clothes.

Feeling at home and comfortable there, I did an advanced grounding, visualizing roots reaching from where my body touched the earth and down through the moss into the soil, digging deep.

Pulling energy from the earth, I condensed that energy into my body until I was full to bursting, then allowed it to burst outward like a balloon bursting expels its air, slamming off and away from me the residual energies that had remained clinging to me after the party last night, essentially using the earth’s energy to blowtorch my own clean.

I did this process three times, then spent some time simply grounding and centering before returning home to shower and warm up and get the rest of my day started.

Three of Swords - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally an indication of trials, struggles, and hardship in the areas of the mind, intellect, and communication.  This often communicates as despair, heartache, disappointment, and other experiences along that line.

What I see in the imagery of today’s card are the autumn leaves and the birds that, in this card, look far more predatory than sweet.  Combined with the flush of new blooms and the hornet with its nest in the lower left corner, what I see here speaks of caution.

After the party last night, I felt drained and struggling.  Today’s card is a reminder to take care of myself, and to be aware that you might be a bit sensitive today and make a bit of an allowance for that while being self aware and watching for signs of that bleeding out in ugly ways.

The positive here is the encouragement towards self awareness and self care.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I navigate through challenges that may give root to overwhelm and burnout as spring approaches? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Fenestra Tarot

Reading Summary:  As previous reads have indicated, I need to focus on my work and my strengths (Eight of Pentacles), while taking care to practice patience with myself (Temperance) and making room for self care and growth away from the struggles and fog of the winter months (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  Diligence towards my work and business is important, but I need to make sure to keep myself from being a slave driver and ignoring the healing process that is currently ongoing.  That process is going to take time and I need to allow it to happen without pushing and prodding at myself like I am used to doing.

DECK USED:  FENESTRA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I at mentally at this time?

Darisa Tarot

Reading Summary:  I am focusing on looking for a way forward (Two of Wands) and searching for a new helper is at the top of my mind (Three of Ground).  I’m also very much focused on you today (Two of Water and Lovers).

Take Away:  Aside from the earth, one of the best and easiest ways for me to find center is to spend time with you.  I’ve needed that centering influence all day today, and so it’s not surprising that you would come up concerning where I am mentally at the moment.   The first two cards are an indication of needing to get something done that I’ve been putting off, which I will make sure gets done today.

DECK USED:  DARISA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When am I intuitively confident?

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary: First very clear thought was a commentary…”Look at that sword, buddy. Don’t you think it’s a little bit too much for you?”

When I take my time considering my options rather than jumping ahead without enough preparation. One of my greatest intuitive strengths is in looking ahead.

Take Away:  My intuition works better in predictive pursuits rather than in dealing with in the moment choices and ideas that need contemplation or exploration.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

 

It’s All About Patience

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IMG_2872Today’s meditation was was about the temporary nature of unpleasant situations.  It talked about an Icelandic concept called “Gluggavedur” or “Window Weather”.   That is to say, weather that looks beautiful from within the safe confines of your home, but is just the opposite when you step outside in it.

Applying this concept to life, the guided meditation spoke on how during times of difficulty and struggle, it’s good to emotionally step back from the problem and observe as if you are from the sidelines.  When we are not panicked and under control of volatile reactions and emotions, we can sometimes learn more from unpleasant situations than when we are fully immersed in them.

This “window weather” view also allows for the realization that nothing lasts forever.  The storm on the other side of the glass will pass, and the sun will again come out eventually.  Sometimes? You just have to stay calm and wait the bad things out.

Five of Pentacles - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Five of pentacles which is often an indication of tests, trials, and challenges in the area of one’s finances, resources, and the physical world, which including home and health issues.

What I see in the imagery of this card ties into the theme of today’s meditation.  I see the tapestry being made and its long length. The weaver and their sour expression.   They sit and they work, and they don’t seem particularly happy about it.  But you see that the weaver is not tangled up within the tapestry.  Instead they sit on the outskirts and watch that long coil spool out beside them.

Sooner or later the tapestry will be done, and the weaver will be able to put down their work and rise to move forward, not tangled within the tapestry itself, but having rode out the length of it and finished it off calmly.

As of the news I received just about 20 minutes ago (from when I wrote this post, of course)?  This message is a good one for me today.  It turns out I have to escort my sister to a work function tonight.   I don’t particularly want to go, but  her date bailed on her and she’s being honored and doesn’t want to go alone.   It’s not what I want to do with my evening.  It’s not what I need to do with my evening.

But,  I’ll do it for her.  And I’ll practice temperance and tolerance for all the celebrating drunk people because she deserves to be recognized, and to have someone there that makes her happy and comfortable to have at her side.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What challenges might this shift present for me? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

New Choice Tarot de Marseille

Reading Summary:  Burden (Ten of Wands) can be battled by staying attentive to what is going on within and around me (King of Wands) and keeping an open mindset of growth and learning (Page of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The message here is to take care not to close myself off.  Stay open and aware, and don’t allow myself to take on so much that I end up struggling with feelings of overwhelm and burnout.

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to encourage that arrival? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Green Witch Tarot

Reading Summary: Have patience (Four of Athames). Play along (The Greenman). And try to stay flexibly balanced (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  In order to allow good things to grow into being and blossom in the spring, I need to make sure that I “stay in my lane”.   Take time to rest and don’t push myself too hard, allow time for fun and let the energy of the impending spring carry me along like a leaf in the wind.  Just focus on keeping my boat afloat, and let the rest (including that persistently demanding ambition of mine) take care of itself for a while.

DECK USED:  GREEN WITCH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I better listen to my inner voice?

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Reading Summary: Allow hope and positivity to flourish and set aside despair.

This read is based off imagery alone, and how the darkness on the left side of the Wheel of Fortune card contrasts with the brightness on the right side, which then flows smoothly (and nearly seamlessly) into the image on the Ten of cups.  The outsider card on the right (Three of Swords) speaks of what “does not fit” into this picture.

Take Away:  The key here in this reading is the word “allow”, which is not about controlling or demanding, it’s not about pushing and striving.  It’s about letting things happen and turning your efforts to other areas… in this case that area is in setting aside that fear and struggle from the past few months in order to clear room for better things to take root and grow.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE GOLDEN WHEEL