Night Kisses
Vibrant dusk
as sun sinks low
and temperatures
begin to drop
Relief
rains down
over the senses
as another day
of sweltering heat
gives way
to the gentle touch
of cool night air
on eagery
waiting flesh
Morning Bonus Read – Emotional Arrow
Emotion Addressed In This Reading: An Irrational Sense of Overwhelm
1. SOURCE: What prompted this emotion? What lies at the root of it?
Five of Cups – Feelings of never enough / never good enough. This isn’t about social issues, which is its own beast and separate from this. This is about never feeling as if anything you do is enough. Not enough work, not enough effort, not enough quality, not enough perfection. It spurs from the echo of your parent’s voice in your head always telling you that “you can do better”. Get an A on a test… “you could do better, your penmanship is poor”. Get straight A’s in school… “you could do more, why aren’t you playing sports or doing extracurriculars?” It was never enough… never good enough. And somehow, it is an echo that has continued to push you forward, and beat you down, years and years after having left that environment and influence.
2. IMPACT: How is this emotion affecting me now? How is it riding me?
Eight of Wands – Push. Push. Push. Push. That feeling of never enough and never good enough pushes you to always strive for more. More output. More perfection. Just… more. It’s not enough to make beautiful jewelry, it has to be perfect. It’s not enough to sell enough that you’re working the majority of every day’s hours, sell more. Do more. Make more. Be better. Always… no matter how much or how well you’re already doing.
3. NAVIGATION: How can I better harness, navigate, and channel it?
Two of Wands – Pick a direction. ONE direction. Pick a focus. ONE focus. Stop trying to do so much at once, and splitting your attention and your energy in so many directions at once. You can’t be in two places at once, and you only have two hands. Choose that direction, that focus, and leave the other stuff behind to possibly take up at another time.
4. MESSAGE: What is this emotion trying to tell me?
Knight of Swords – You’re pushing too hard and it’s taking you in the wrong direction (cat on the card is facing the past). All of this drive comes from an ugly place in your past and you need to work on moving forward, not backward. That includes recognizing and letting go of these influences that are not healthy and only perpetuate self abuse through impulsivity and misplaced determination.
5. TARGET: Best outcome/goal of working constructively with emotion.
King of Pentacles – Stability. Surety. Ownership. Resolving the issues surrounding this motion can allow you to find a more grounded and secure foundation in the present. This foundation then will influence all aspects of your life from your work to your home life and your feelings of security, providing a more comfortable and self assured outlook on your current life as well as future plans.
6a. OVERKILL: How does this emotion mislead me?
Six of Wands – This emotion and the history behind it that pushes it on misleads you by causing you to look outside your self for validation that you’re doing enough. No one else’s opinion on this topic matters. Only yours. You can’t earn the approval from those parents in your past, now that you’re in the present. That time is gone and there’s no one to judge how you do, what you do, or how much you do… except you.
6b. OVERKILL: How might it take me too far?
Page of Cups Rx – Taken too far, you lose your connection to your inner curiosity and creativity. You become beaten down by these judgements and start to feel like giving up. There is no more joy, and with no joy you begin to lose your sense of curiosity. Without that sense of curiosity to spark your creativity, that too begins to flag and falter.
Side Note: I spoke to my shrink about these issues yesterday and she suggested trying to compartmentalize my past from my present. To help me in remembering that the past is the past, a different chapter in a book… read and left behind. I am in a new chapter now than I was then. In doing this, she suggests that it might help me in letting go of those feelings of “not enough / not good enough” as well as the feelings concerning fear of scarcity.
DECK USED: MERMAID CATS TAROT
Healthy Alone Time
Today’s meditation was not a guided meditation, or even timed. I believe it was probably around twenty minutes and took place after my phone appointment with my shrink. I simply rested in quiet, doing some breathing exercises while performing my piriformis stretches. It was really nice, but I’m amazed I didn’t fall asleep.
Today’s draw is The Hermit card, which is traditionally a representation of inner reflection and self analysis, as well alone time, and the introspection that comes when you step away from others and spend time with yourself.
The bear in this card really catches my eye today, as does the skull at the bottom. In fact, I saw the skull first. What I see in this image is the healthy form of alone time represented by the bear with his lantern. The animal hibernates, but it is a healthy part of their cycle, while the lantern speaks of illumination of the self and resulting growth during this alone time. The skull at the bottom then represents the other side of the coin and the unhealthy alone time that comes when we retreat from society not for healthy reasons, but rather to burrow into slothenly behavior or wallow in negative emotions.
The question then placed by the affirmation card in today’s draw is which do you do? Which do you choose? Do you choose healthy alone time? Or do you instead focus on that wallowing and unhealthy alone time? This is a choice and it’s about what we choose to focus on. The message here is to make sure when you’re retreating from the world, it’s in a healthy way with a purpose… not just to wallow and, as a result, end up making things worse.
DECK USED: LINESTRIDER TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS
Cosmic_Crow_Tarot’s #FreedomTarotChallenge Prompt
Questions for July 13th, 14th and 16th
What is keeping me from feeling free in my life?
Beech and Three of Cups
Feeling responsible for others safety and happiness instead of leaving that for them to deal with themselves is one of the things that keeps you from feeling free in your life. You feel a responsibility to help shift people’s perspectives when they are in unhealthy patterns, or when you can help lighten their load by doing so. This is not your responsibility.
How can I find more freedom in my life?
Aspen and Three of Swords
Take a closer look at your fears. Dig up their roots and deal with what lies beneath instead of continuing to bury those feelings. There is a lot of ugly in your past. This is a call for shadow work, which you have been doing… but, as you are aware, like most growth it needs to be taken at a glacial pace. Keep going. Direct your focus towards those moments you continue to try to avoid and bury.
How can I help others find the freedom they deserve?
Rock Water atop Mumulis, Strength
Although you often help people in overcoming their fears through creativity, persuasion, and support. You also have the ability to not just provide different perspectives, but through your creative process and work, spread joy and pleasure to others. Don’t forget what you contribute through your craft. You have a unique gift to give through the work you do and the intentions and methods used to create the vessels that deliver that joy to others.
DECK USED: HEALING FLOWER COLOR CARDS AND LINESTRIDER TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsJul2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is there an inherent order in nature or is it all chaos and chance?
Reading Summary: Everything has a purpose (King of Pentacles). Chaos is an accelerant (The Tower Rx atop Knight of Wands) of the natural cycles that repeat again and again (Ace of Swords Rx). There’s nothing new just everything in its time and place (Temperance atop Ace of Swords).
Take Away: The cards here indicate that there is very little chaos and chance in nature. Everything is about cycles that repeat again and again. Sometimes to the human eye, we are unable to see those cycles and thus it looks like chaos or chance.
The times chaos or chance -does- arise in nature, it us used by nature to accelerate a cycle already in place.
DECK USED: LINESTRIDER TAROT
So… I got hit by a truck today. I mean as a pedestrian, I was hit by a truck today. Instead of demanding to go home (mostly because I wanted to get my damned phone) I allowed myself to be checked out by the paramedics and taken to the hospital for x-rays. I’m fine, and I made the guy that hit me put everything in his name so he’s responsible for all the bills and shit.
Gideon’s Challenge
Garden Musings
Sad brown eyes
cast toward the sky
as tendrils
of a mane
made of fire
sway in their stretch
to the ground
What do you see
in the bright blue sky
that makes
sadness well
in those
dark brown eyes
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Moon
Prompt: “Pull the card from your deck(s) that matches the card posted below. Compare the imagery between the card provided and the card from your own deck. How would you read them differently and why?”
Tarot of the Hidden Realm – The imagery of this card is all about a flagging of confidence, a sense of curiosity, and a moment of uncertainty. Antlers are unwieldy in moments of vulnerability as the figure explores the barren ground on hands and knees.
There is also determination and strength. She is not lying down and giving up, but continues to move forward, to seek more, and find her way.
Tarot for Middle Earth – Like the Tarot of the Hidden Realm, the focus in this card’s imagery is not on the moon itself, but rather on the figure that works to make their way through a dark landscape of shadows and darkness. Here in this card there is a sense of empowerment over doubt and uncertainty. Her posture and the sword she carries indicates that although she walks through shadows and a landscape of illusion, she is prepared for what may come.
Anonymous Tarot – Abstract and vague, what stands out strongest to me in this card is the moon itself. Although this imagery is very reminiscent of traditional RWS imagery, the moon dominates everything and appears to be bleeding. The amount of red in this card speaks to me of fear, and of leaving a place of calm and security (the blue) to step into that place of fear in order to follow the beacon of the moon above.
Adventure Arcana Tarot – Here again we see a very classic imagery, and yet the contrast between domesticated and wild is missing in the lack of dog and wolf. Although the crustacean is also missing, we are still able to draw the meaning of it through the shift from stream to the appearance of a path, as if we are pulled out of the dark water of the subconscious to tread upon the moonlit path through uncertainty, forsaking the security that the towers offer to follow the guiding light of the moon above.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM, TAROT FOR MIDDLE EARTH, ANONYMOUS TAROT, ADVENTURE ARCANA TAROT
Compartmentalization Can Help
Today’s meditation was skipped today because I overslept. Which, isn’t really surprising since I was up playing with Gideon until after 5am.
Today’s draw is the Three of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of collaboration and team work, coming together to achieve a mutual goal or result, and learning new skills from others.
This affirmation card is a hard one for me. Okay, hell… this tarot card, for that matter, is a hard one for me. I struggle with sharing the load. I struggle with delegating. And I struggle with taking time away from work and letting go.
The message here is about when it’s time to work, it’s time to work, and to do better work you need to let others in and let others help. With their help things get done not just faster but without the issues that rushing can cause. And when it’s time to play? It’s time to put that work away and focus upon yourself and those around you.
Don’t spend this time when you’re supposed to be taking a break stressing about work. Don’t spend the time when you need to focus on work daydreaming about taking a break, dragging your feet, or squandering the help others want to offer. You have responsibilities to yourself. And to your work. Compartmentalize. The less they bleed into each other, the easier you will find both of them to be when focusing on them.
DECK USED: TAROT OF TREES 10th ANNIVERSARY EDITION AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS
Mr Lionharts’ #TheJulyTarot #TarotSuitsChallenge Prompt
Questions for July 13th & 14th
What is my intuition trying to tell me, or help me with, right now?
Bindweed (Convolvulus arvensis) and Seven of Pentacles
You are holding on too tightly. You will strangle out your growth before it has enough time to flourish if you don’t ease up. Stop trying to control every little thing and just let things flow at their own pace.
What should I face, or embrace more, in support of my best self?
Purple Deadnettle (Lamium purpureum) and Knight of Pentacles
Slow progress is still progress. You’re pushing and impatience will turn your view of your progress rancid if you don’t clean it out and purge these negative perspectives. Don’t let impatience turn what should be a positive into a negative.
DECK USED: UNRULY GAME CARDS AND TAROT OF TREES 10th ANNIVERSARY EDITION
#DiscordTarotholicsJul2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to help my inner adolescent feel less neglected?
Reading Summary: Teach your inner adolescent (The Hierophant) to see things from a new perspective (Inverted Tree) that removes the fear of all that he has being stolen away from him at any moment (Seven of Swords Rx).
Take Away: This answer makes me wonder just how much of my little um… “collecting” tendency actually might land directly in my inner adolescent’s lap.
How much of that too tight grip lives in this inner adolescent’s fear of losing everything and sliding back into the poverty and misery I’ve managed to claw myself out of?
This might be something worth exploring more in depth at some point.
DECK USED: TAROT OF TREES 10th ANNIVERSARY EDITION
I got my second vaccination shot today, at the hospital, under supervision. And stayed for the entire 90 minutes requested afterwards to make sure I tolerated it okay. Everything went fine. I was about crampy in the stomach, but that had nothing to do with the shot since it’d been going on all day. No anaphylaxis. No issues.
