Deck Modification – The Star Tarot

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I posted a little while about deck modifications and my plan to start with the Blue Messiah deck.   My plans changed a bit when I got my hands on this one, though and I decided to start with The Star Tarot by Cathy McClealland instead.

The first thing I did was get out my mini guillotine cutter and my corner rounder.  I then resized one of the cards (the King of Swords), working a little at a time to cut the card down until I found a size that was comfortable and yet wasn’t cutting off the titles.  Although this tarot deck would be easy to read without the titles, I really didn’t -want- to lose them.  I might change my mind sometime in the future, but for now I’d rather they stay.

Once I found the size I wanted, began cutting down cards, one at a time.  I did all of the tops and bottoms first, and compared each to the King of Swords to ensure they were uniform size, then went back and did the sides second, repeating the comparison with the King of Swords with each card.   I then rounded the corners using my corner punch.

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Half way through the deck, I took a pause to take a few pictures for a size comparison between the original size of the cards, and the cropped size.

I’m not entirely pleased with my corner punch at this point.   On a card without a clear coat, the punch I’m using cuts nice and clean.   These cards, though, have a sort of clear laminate type of coating on them, and I’ve noticed that my corner cutter appears to have a little trouble with that coating.  Some of the corners ended up a little… not ragged or uneven, but with tiny tags of uncut laminate slivers.   It’s probably not something I’d have noticed if I hadn’t decided to also edge the cards.

I’m not a huge fan of that type of laminate on the cards, either, incidentally.  It makes the cards feel almost “sticky” when shuffling.  It was the reason I chose this deck to start with, actually.  Between the size and the stickiness, I figured I would never used this deck unless I could make it more user friendly.

So the next step is the inking of the edges.

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I used Distressed Ink for the edging, starting with stamping the edges using Seedless Preserves (purple) for an uneven finish around the edge of each card.  This left a bit of white exposed in places.  I then used Salty Ocean (blue) in a rub around the edges and over the purple.

Above, I’ve posted a photo of the deck half done with cards set out to dry between stamping.  I left the cards to dry for thirty minutes between each application of ink, and rubbed the edges with a rag after the wait was over each time to remove any excess.

The application of the darker ink (purple) done unevenly followed by the lighter (blue) ink afterward created a mottled deep blue effect that I think matches the card’s border and back really well.

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I did take about twenty cards out and use the purple in a second sweep on top of the blue, darkening the color as a result, which once shuffled into the finished deck, resulted in a darker blue than the original results.

I then let the deck sit out for 24 hours to ensure that the ink had fully dried on all of the cards.

I’m really happy with the end result of this modification.  I think the deck looks much better, and the size is much easier to handle.  The only thing I’m not a fan of is the laminate coating that I mentioned earlier.  I’m hoping that with a good amount of use, that it’ll lose some of its stickiness.   The one thing I was worried about with resizing the deck is that I’d damage whatever shuffle-ability they had.  But, I managed to get the sizing uniform enough that it isn’t an issue.

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The last pictures in this post are of the finished deck and the “swaddle” that I chose to home the deck in.

This deck came with a huge box (and a book).   I don’t keep boxes when they are oversized, so I have a variety of decks that are wrapped in a “swaddle” of 100% cotton in place of a box.   For this deck, I found a fat quarter that I feel fits the deck perfectly.  Not just in color, but in the design of the print as well because, to me, it looks like the night sky.

Tarot Deck Modification

Darkness of Light Tarot

Darkness of Light Tarot with Black Edging Modification

I did my very first deck modification yesterday, and I’m really happy with it. Or, well perhaps I shouldn’t count it as my first, as I’ve used a punch to round off the corners on a sharp cornered deck in the past. That said, though, this was the first time I have gone beyond that.

The thing is, I have a handful of decks that I’ve purchased (or been given) over the years that I’m not 100% happy with. I’ve considered doing mods on them before, but it kind of felt like… a desecration.

That said, I’ve been following a video blog lately on YouTube, and the author does mods as a part of her practice. In one of her videos, she had a really good point about deck modifications.

That point, or rather, what it boils down to is that these decks are mine, and they need to be comfortable for me and attuned to my energy. If that means I need to alter a deck for it to “fit” me, then that should be okay because it’s my deck. Modifying it with this purpose only makes it that much more mine.

My thoughts on this might be different if I were collecting decks in order to resell, or to keep pristine. But that’s not the case. I use my decks. I enjoy handling them. Shuffling them. Feeling their energies and personalities shine through. So why not try to adjust them when they don’t feel quite right as they are on arrival in my collection? I really need to do something to see if I can make them more comfortable and more mine.

As I said, the only mods I’ve ever done before were rounding corners, and yesterday’s experiment with edging the Darkness of Light tarot in black.

Because of this, I’ve ordered a “practice deck” to try out trimming (making a deck smaller), as I’m not confident enough to just jump in with that type of more “extreme” modifications without a little practice first. Especially since I have a number of decks that I find discomfort in because they are so large. Or, in a couple of cases, because the border around the artwork is ugly and distracting.

Fortunately, I was able to find two used decks on eBay for $1.99 for both. These are the Blue Messiah Oracle and Cosmos Oracles. Both have cards that are quite large in size and are by the same author with similar artwork. I figure it can give me a good practice to try cutting down their size, and then edging them in color.

If they turn out, of course, I’ll have to give them a really thorough cleansing before using them, but I’m looking forward to their arrival and getting the chance to experiment.

Random Stuff About Me

I swiped this from #millenniallifecrisis, who swiped it from something called “Vogue’s 73 Questions”. I thought it had some fun and interesting questions, so I decided to do it myself.

So here’s mine:

  1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? Jonathan Brandis. Honestly? I never learned or knew a damn thing about the actor, but I was totally enamored with his character Lucas on SeaQuest DSV. Not only was he so very cute, but smart and empathetic as well. He’s also the only celebrity crush I’ve ever had.
  2. What is one thing you regret having done or not done in your life? Getting my degree. That said, I’m not entirely sure why I regret this when I’m happy with my life the way it is and wouldn’t be using it anyway. It just seems like a waste that all that time , effort, and money that didn’t come to any sort of fruition.
  3. Which parent do you identify with the most? I used to think my mother, but as I’ve gotten older and gotten to know my mother more and more after my father’s death, I’ve come to realize that I take after my father. The need for balance. The moral compass. I may not agree with his ideas and behavior on many things, but beneath those differences, there is a similar stubborn foundation.
  4. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Teriyaki sauce. Rice.
  5. If you could change your first name what would it be? Leaf.
  6. Can you hula hoop? I have no idea. I’ve never tried.
  7. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? When they cringe at my facial scar. I can handle the staring, but it bothers me when someone shirks from it, cringes, or grimaces.
  8. Have you considered running for president? HELL no.  
  9. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Balance. With creativity coming in at a very close second.
  10. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? I don’t really envy other people. Situations, sometimes. But not people.
  11. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why? Northwestern Washington state. You have mountains, lakes, rivers, rainforests, beaches, the ocean and lots of inlets. Lots of green, lots of water, lots of nature, and lots of rain.
  12. Are ghosts real? Yes. 
  13. Are aliens real? Yes. It is statistically impossible that they don’t exist. Whether or not they fly space ships or are intelligent (by human standards)? That’s debatable.
  14. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Good thing you asked about the fridge and not the freezer. The most expired item in my fridge is a tub of gochujang that expired in Oct 2018. 
  15. What are your favorite style of underwear? Boxer briefs.
  16. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Mad World by Gary Jules and Michael Andrews. 
  17. How about the sweetest song? I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie. 
  18. Do you know how to play dominoes? I do not.
  19. What’s under your bed? Boxes of antique dishes. 
  20. Have you ever prank called someone? I don’t think so. 
  21. 100 kittens or 3 baby sloths? If it means I have to take care of them? Sloths. 100 vs 3… it’s all in the math. 
  22. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? I am proud that my heart belongs to Gideon. I’m happy with how I spend most of my time.
  23. Why or why not? As for my time… I guess I could be doing more good for myself and others, but I could be doing a hell of a lot less good too. It’s a happy medium. As for Gideon… he’s amazing. Top to bottom, inside and out.
  24. How many bones have you broken? I’ve lost count, although to be fair I’ve ‘broken’ more joints than I have bones.
  25. Have you ever won anything? Big or small? I won $15 bucks at the casino yesterday.
  26. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be? A larger home (or the condo next door and renovate it and mine into one big condo). 
  27. What’s your favorite movie from your childhood? Escape to Witch Mountain
  28. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sauerkraut.
  29. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day? Cuddles from my cat Luna and time with Gideon.
  30. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? Yes.  
  31. Would you ever adopt a child? Under the right circumstances… yes. 
  32. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? I can’t think of anything.
  33. If you were a cake which cake would you be? Raspberry vanilla swirl.
  34. What is the most important material possession you have and why? Pluto (stuffed dog). 
  35. What is the most important memory you have and why? My sister and I comforting each other after our first day of school. It had been a crappy experience for both of us.
  36. When was the last time you cried? Three days ago.
  37. How old was your mother when she had you? 26
  38. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I can’t think of anyone. Fame really isn’t something I’m interested in being around. I guess I’d be open to a famous friend if I could be that secret refuge of normalcy for them, but otherwise? No thank you.
  39. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? I’m sure there are plenty of things I’d feel that way about if I could remember any of them.
  40. Have you been on your first date? Define “date”. *LOL* I have never been out on a “traditional date” (at least, not that I’m aware of) with the intention of it going anywhere besides a one night stand.
  41. If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? I think they could get a pretty good idea of me from my literary RP with Gideon, maybe with additional access to my IM history.
  42. Have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who? Not entirely, no. Gid and I do have a good amount of synchronicity tho. And of course I run across writers now and then that I can agree with on certain topics or ideas.
  43. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Hell no. I would never take back any kiss I’ve given to him.
  44. Who would you like to see in concert? I’m not a concert person. Too loud and chaotic.
  45. What was the last concert you saw? Dave Matthews Band
  46. What was the last thing that made you laugh? A story about a friend of mine on a camping trip. 
  47. What are you craving right now? Ice cream.
  48. Have you ever been cheated on? No
  49. Do you believe in true love? Yes. 
  50. Favorite weather? Overcast and rainy… aka. gray days.
  51. Do you want to get married? Not really.
  52. What’s your favorite pasta dish? Chicken Florentine lasagna. 
  53. What color do you really want to dye your hair? I don’t.
  54. Are you a morning person? Hell no. 
  55. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Jer snores like a freight train when he’s drunk and I once used his gaping, snoring maw as target practice for my water pistol.
  56. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My sister. 
  57. What was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Spiders. And hell yes. 
  58. Think of a person. What song do you associate with them? I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab For Cutie
  59. What are some of your worst habits? Self-judgment and self-recrimination.
  60. Describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Very submissive and yet really wants to be seen by others (read everyone) as more dominant than they really are. Has a good heart, but is too much of a self-absorbed ass.
  61. Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Fixing my mother’s CD burner drive on her PC.
  62. What’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Gideon enjoyed watching me splurge on a tarot deck the other day. I count this as done -for- me because his enjoyment made me feel good when he shared how he felt about it with me.
  63. Are you planning on getting tattoos? I have considered a small semicolon a few times, but no.
  64. List some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. The songs previously mentioned in this survey. Suicide is Painless by Johnny Mandel (music) and Michael Altman (lyrics). Knights In White Satin by the Moody Blues. One by Three Dog Night. Singularity by BTS. Now Is Good by Kim JaeJeong. I could go on for a long ass time on this one.
  65. If you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? Neither. There is nothing I would change, and I have no interest in looking ahead.
  66. What do you do when you’re sad? Sleep
  67. What are some things you do when you can’t sleep? Work on jewelry projects. Play games on my phone. Masturbate.
  68. Who is the last person you told a secret to? Gideon
  69. What’s the best piece of advice you ever received? Go read “The Dash” by Linda Ellis.
  70. What’s your favorite food? Vanilla Orange Swirl ice cream with Cheetos Puffs
  71. What’s your secret dream? Financial freedom.
  72. Do you have trust issues? Yes.
  73. Do you believe in soulmates? I didn’t until I met Gideon. Now? Yes.

The Joy of MDEs

I went to the shrink today.   I have been dealing with a pretty deep depression over the past… month?  Month and a half?

I don’t really remember March at all, or most of April thus far.

She has encouraged me to talk to Gideon about monitoring my emotions so that next time I fall into the hole of a Major Depressive Episode, we can try upping my meds briefly to pull me back out.  I’m not sure if it’ll work or make things worse, but if I’m already in an MDE anyway, I figure that it’s worth a try.    There is the risk that the med fluxuation could stir up suicidal thoughts and urges, but if we don’t at least try it, we won’t know.

She also wants me to do a daily meditation in the morning, complete with positive affirmation that I am to meditate on, then try to keep in mind throughout the rest of the day.    I’ve never done affirmations before, so… that will be something new and different.

I suck at “daily” type stuff and getting that kind of stuff to “stick” into my routine, but I’m going to give it a try.

It’s too late to up my meds this time around, as I’m already crawling out of the MDE’s black hole, but maybe with a plan in place, my next one won’t end up stealing 4-6 weeks from me with no memory and (apparently) everything non-essential put on pause during that time.

Favorites… 132 Questions

Gideon – Linette insisted I fill this out.  And, since I had to fill it out, I figured I might as well share it with you.  I’m pretty sure most of this stuff you already know, but… here goes.

Food

food

Favorite Restaurant – Denny’s
Favorite Fast Food Restaurant – Jack In The Box (their Oreo shakes are the BOMB)
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor – Chocolate
Favorite chocolate candy? Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup Minis
Favorite Fruity Candy? Creme Savers Hard Candy in Orange & Creme
Favorite dish at Olive Garden? Chicken con Broccoli
Favorite kind of sushi? Sake Nigiri
Favorite Asian dish? Bibimbap with Bulgogi
Favorite Italian dish? Chicken Florentine Lasagna
Favorite food of all time? White Rice
Favorite way to cook a steak? Medium Rare
Favorite pasta dish? Fettuccine Alfredo
Favorite cookie? Chocolate Chip (homemade only)
Favorite fast food French fries? McDonalds
Favorite cereal? Capt’n Crunch w/ Crunchberries
Favorite breakfast food? Eggs
Favorite pizza toppings? Pineapple, Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Black Olives, Canadian Bacon
Favorite fruit? Oranges
Favorite vegetable? Broccoli
Favorite dessert? Ice Cream
Favorite comfort food? Grilled Cheese & Tomato Soup
Favorite way to eat bacon? Crispy but not Burnt
Favorite thing at a buffet? Shrimp (as long as it’s deveined)
Favorite dish at Thanksgiving? Deviled Eggs
Favorite cake? Raspberry Swirl
Favorite ice cream sundae toppings? Crushed Oreos, Chocolate Syrup
Favorite thing to cook? Stir-Fry
Favorite alcoholic drink? Vodka
Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Ice Water

TV and Movies

movies

Favorite classic movie? The Women (1939)
Favorite movie quote? “Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day. It’s all downhill from here.” – American Beauty
Favorite 80’s movie? Breakfast Club
Favorite Family Guy character? Stewie
Favorite cartoon? Vintage Looney Tunes
Favorite scary movie? Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Favorite movie you’re embarrassed to like? A Cinderella Story (young Chad Michael Murray is HOT)
Favorite chick flick? 10 Things I Hate About You
Favorite Leonardo Dicaprio movie? Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Favorite actress over 50? Gena Rowlands and Betty White (it’s a tie)
Favorite Marvel movie? The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Favorite TV show? Big Bang Theory
Favorite cancelled TV series? Perry Mason
Favorite YouTube video? Screaming sheep

Music

music

Favorite instrument? Cello
Favorite band? Dave Matthews Band (runners up include Matchbox 20, Deathcab For Cutie, JYJ, and Silversun Pickups)
Favorite solo music artist? Kim JaeJoong (although Bi Rain is a close runner-up)
Favorite music genre? Indie
Favorite style of dance? Ballroom Freestyle
Favorite boy band? Big Bang
Favorite 80’s song? Love Song by The Cure
Favorite cover song? Love Song by 311
Favorite lyrics? The first stanza of I Will Possess Your Heart by Silversun Pickups
Favorite Song? Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen
Favorite one-hit wonder? Touched by Vast

Travel and Fun

travel

Favorite state you’ve visited? Montana (actually, Washington, but I live there so it’s not a “visit”)
Favorite thing about America? Lack of Authoritarian dictatorship
Favorite kind of vacation? Cabin in the Rainforest (w/ a safe, accessible water source)
Favorite car? Toyota Prius
Favorite way to travel? Driving
Favorite beach? Kalaloch, WA
Favorite hiking trail? Mt Rose in the Olympic National Park
Favorite ride at a carnival? The Zipper
Favorite thing to do at the beach? Wading in the shallows
Favorite United States national park? Glacier National Park (Montana)

Animals and Nature

nature

Favorite dinosaur? Velociraptor
Favorite breed of dog? Labrador
Favorite flower? Nerium oleander
Favorite bird? Hummingbird
Favorite exhibition at the aquarium? Sharks (followed closely by the jellyfish)
Favorite type of bear? Black
Favorite sea creature? Sharks
Favorite color rose? Dark red
Favorite small mammal? Sugar glider
Favorite big cat? Snow leopard
Favorite animal? Any of the big cats
Favorite reptile? Black caiman
Favorite thing in the sky? Rain clouds
Favorite thing about a rainy day? The way it makes the world feel clean.
Favorite thing about spring? New growth
Favorite natural disaster? Volcano
Favorite season? Fall

Sports

sports

Favorite sport? Swimming
Favorite Olympic sport? Ice Skating
Favorite sport to watch in person? Hockey

Childhood Memories

childhood

Favorite children’s show? Sesame Street
Favorite childhood memory? Learning how to play Gin Rummy with L, TJ, and Z on a camping trip.
Favorite board game? Scrabble
Favorite toy as a child? Water
Favorite thing about school? Out of the house and away from home.
Favorite Halloween costume you’ve worn? The Gender Switch with Lins. I felt silly but very fucking pretty.
Favorite playground fixture? Merry-go-round
Favorite lunchbox snack? Samgak Kimbap
Favorite video game? Dragonfire (Atari 2600)
Favorite superhero? The Hulk

Books and Literature

books

Favorite Winnie the Pooh character? Eeyore
Favorite nursery rhyme? Ladies First by Shel Silverstein
Favorite fairy tale? Sleeping Beauty
Favorite Dr. Seuss book? The Giving Tree
Favorite Book? Little Brothers by Rick Hautala
Favorite Book Series? Bunnicula
Favorite Poem? The Dash by Linda Ellis
Favorite Artist of All Time? Alphonse Mucha
Favorite Current Artist? Yevgenia Watts
Favorite Piece of Artwork? MC Escher’s Relativity
Favorite Author? Stephen Hawking
Favorite Fiction Genres? Paranormal Romance, Apocalypse scenarios (zombies, pandemics, natural disasters)
Favorite Quote? Creative activity could be described as a type of learning process where teacher and pupil are located in the same individual. – Arthur Koestler

Other Random Stuff

questions

Favorite color? Green
Favorite perfume/cologne? Old Spice (original) – not on me
Favorite soap scent? unscented
Favorite shampoo? Pantene
Favorite article of clothing? well worn jeans
Favorite place for a piercing? Helix/Pinna/Auricle
Favorite piece of jewelry? Gideon’s collar
Favorite luxury brand? Joico (at least, it’s luxury to me)
Favorite brand of toilet paper? Charmin
Favorite candle scent? Nag Champa
Favorite extracurricular activity? Roleplay with Gideon
Favorite day of the week? Saturdays
Favorite holiday? Samhain
Favorite way to communicate? IMs and Texts
Favorite kind of house? Large ranch style
Favorite car color? Gray
Favorite thing to do when you’re sick? Sleep
Favorite place to meet up with friends? At home
Favorite hobby? Jewelry Design (a job can also be a hobby, right?)
Favorite way to cheer you up? Water (whether rain, or swimming, or in the shower, etc)
Favorite thing to look forward to? Snow
Favorite kind of gift to receive? The thoughtful kind
Favorite Christmas present? Copper Wok (Gift from Gideon)
Favorite way to relax? SLEEP
Favorite place to shop? thrift stores

OKAY!   Done.   So… did I miss anything?

For Gideon

Also, I’d like you to start writing your feelings for me again. A journal or some other form of communication that you can write on at your convenience, even if its’ just five minutes on the can. I need to know what you’re feeling why and I need us to connect again. I know you’re busy, but you can make time for this.” – Gideon on 25Aug2017

I considered going back to doing this on Instagram, but the problem with that is that sometimes I just don’t have the time to upload/prep photos to post and then put off writing because I didn’t have a photo ready.   So, I figured something like this might be a better option.

This blog host has an app, so I can update from my iPod, etc.  It also allows for comments, which I think makes it better than just a journal app with web access.  We’ll give it a go and see, yeah?