Women of Science Tarot

Gratitude Is An Offering

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and attached to the end of my extended yoga / physio practice that I did this morning.  It was a good idea to give it a day between sessions of the new routine in order to let my muscles ease a bit.  I’ll continue the on-again off-again schedule for the next few weeks.   I don’t plan on making the added routine permanent, but I think that until I can get back to the chiropractor on a regular schedule it’d be a good idea to continue on with it.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Madre of Earth (Queen of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, manifestations, and the physical world. This often translates into a theme of nurturing energy that is both strong and supportive.

I know that in the guidebook for this deck, it says that the hands holding the bowl are making an offering to deity, but when I look at the imagery on this card today, I do not see an offering…. I see an expression of gratitude as those hands accept a gift from nature.

Larrea tridentata (Creosote bush) is definitely one of those things to be grateful for in nature.  It is an extremely useful plant that survives in places and climates that most plants can’t.  It is antimicrobial, fever reducing, and useful in treating a vast array of different physical ills from diarrhea and sinusitis, to general pain complaints and arthritis, anemia, and even stomach cramps.

The message in today’s card is about gratitude and respect.  You don’t take what is not sustainable, and you always show gratitude for what is given and used. This form of respect is something that seems to be lost by so many these days, and forgotten by society at large.  The message here today is to not allow yourself to be one of those that forget. Practice gratitude, be mindful of what you take and what you use, and always show respect for what has been given and where it comes from.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to maintain motivation.
Question:  How can I accept that willpower is a limited resource?

Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion Pack

Reading Summary: Remember all the times that you have intrepidly move yourself forward (Left Card) even when you were out of your comfort zone (Center Card), and how it is so anxiety ridden to be there (Big Eye… Worried Fish). And how refreshed you feel after taking a rest and some time in Gideon’s care (Right Card).

Take Away:  This is about knowing when to yield.  You can push on and push and push and push yourself until you’re a mess of anxiety and tied up in knots, but sooner or later you -have to- let go.  That makes willpower not a personality trait, but a skill or ability.  And like all skills and abilities?  They require times of rest and recharging.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Write something free form inspired by the cards.

Tarot MaddonniThere was once a young king named Keern, who ran his kingdom with great love (King of Cups). Sometimes he felt overburdened (Ten of Wands), but he chose to push through these feelings and direct them into providing strength (La Force) to his kingdom by protecting all within his realm (Nine of Wands).

And yet even then, he felt disenchanted (Four of Cups) and alone (Nine of Coins)

Although he was a very picky man (Judgement), he decided it was time to take a wife. And so King Keern began to seek out someone with similar ideals to his own they could help him foster and nurture his people (The Empress).

He met with many women, and there were so many more to choose from! There were so many, in fact, that his search became a burden in and of itself (Seven of Cups).

Then one day on his search, Keern met a poor man down on his luck (Five of Coins) named Heste, who encouraged him to sit down and discuss his problems. The king had love in his heart for all his subjects, and did so.  At the end of the discussion this man helped him to see that he was going after what was expected of him rather than what he really wanted (The Pope).

This conversation helped the king to realize that the heart wants what the heart wants… no matter what others think. Seeing things from this new perspective, Keern then changed his tactics and purpose (Hanged Man).   He opened himself up to more options, and in the end he found his true love among not the women of his kingdom at all.   Instead, it was the wise peasant with whom he’d spoken to that day he found his mind and heart drawn to, and so Keern brought Heste home to the castle to take on their future… together (The Lovers).

DECK USED:  TAROT MADDONNI

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  dream // plan // manifest

Women of Science Tarot

Dream – Ten of Nano – Emotional fulfillment is something that I can’t even imagine, but I do hope for.  I think that perhaps once I have gotten to a point where I’m more comfortable with my emotions that this dream will be more easily realized… rather than a concept that “sounds good”.

Plan – Knight of Nano – Moving forward emotionally is often just like moving forward in any capacity.  Sometimes?  You have to factor in a bit of planning.  I’m in the process of finding “comfortable” with the new emotional levels I’ve grown into over the past few months.  Having a plan in place to allow that growth to settle in might be a good idea to consider.

Manifest – Two of Macro and Eight of Astro – Allow yourself to see the blockages that are self created and standing in the way to getting your new balance of responsibilities set into place.  If you want to make this new balance a reality, you need to be open to those self restricting beliefs and behaviors that are still holding you back.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How will I know if I have achieved my creative calling?

Psychopomp Tarot

Reading Summary: Elements that will be present include inspiration to move forward (Two of Wands), a sense of connectivity with myself and the universe (The Star) and  And a feeling of balance and rightness in my direction (Justice).

Take Away:  When it all comes together and feels right?  That’s when you’re in your element and have hit that mark.  This is about how it feels in the moment and like the two hands that paint each other in the Two of Wands card, this calling is not stagnant or permanent, but ever changing and cyclical. What is my creative calling ten years ago may not be my creative calling ten years from now… and that’s okay.  As long as it feels right.

DECK USED:  PSYCHOPOMP TAROT

Struggling With Disappointment

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and one of the harp strings meditations with the interval chimes to walk me through my piriformis stretching.  I had a little bit of difficulty focusing today during the meditation, probably because today was one of my “long ass drive” days and I was really far more interested in getting my ass on the road than taking the time to meditate.  I did do it, though, no matter how much I felt the need to squirm my way through it.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Five of Water (Five of Cups) which is traditionally interpreted as an indication of pessimism or apathy. It is, essentially, the “glass half empty” card and can often be interpreted not just as pessimism or disappointment, but also themes to do with one’s attitudes around failure.

I’m  not going to go into goldenseal today, as what is really important about this card today, and the message that lies within it, is twofold and already very evident to me.  The first message being that when you have that “meh” feeling, it’s important to pay attention to it instead of just following where it leads. What is it really about? Why has it surfaced? Why are you following it so blindly instead of examining it closely? Don’t just accept it at face value.

The second message in the appearance of this card today has to do with the incident with my mother.  I feel like an idiot for being excited when I opened a surprise package from my mother and found her Hoi Polloi inside.   I should have known better than to think it was just a kindness because she knows it was something I want.  I should have known that it would be an effort to manipulate me in some way.

I was stupid not to realize it, or at least suspect.  I didn’t, and the feeling of disappointment and pessimistic unpleasantness that came when she displayed her true colors yet again and showed me that the ‘gift’ was really a manipulation tactic… was crushing.   Again.  And thus comes in the Five of Cups.

I need to turn remember what I have that is good instead of focusing on the shit.  I guess I’m just… taking a moment to throw my own pity party first.  I won’t let it last, though, I promise.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  What causes me to be resistant toward rest?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Reading Summary: The fear that if I don’t keep going and juggling everything (Two of Pentacles) that shit will fall apart (The Tower)… It also allows me to avoid owning my own emotions (King of Cups Rx).

Take Away:  If I’m too busy to rest, then I’m too busy to deal with my emotions, and thus I have an excuse to bury them instead of dealing with them.  This, combined with my constant fear of “dropping the ball” and everything crashing down around me as a result are the things that most significantly influence why I’m resistant toward rest.

DECK USED:  HANSON ROBERTS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  What in my life could benefit from more honesty?

Evolution TarotReading Summary:  You can have all the tools in the world (The Magician) and all the resources you need at your disposal (King of Coins), but any addiction allowed to flourish out of control will knock you on your ass if given the opportunity to do so (The Devil).

Take Away:  This is why even though moderation is not at all my favorite thing, it is so very important.  I’ve admitted this before that I was a bit fast and loose with my money over late-spring and early-summer.  That sort of thing is nice now and then, but it’s not sustainable for long.

What needs could benefit from more honesty in my life is that I need to look close at my spending and do the work to get things back on the moderate side of self-control again.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  share // save

Women of Science TarotShare – Ten of Nano (Water) – Share the love.  This isn’t about money or resources, it’s about support and emotion.  It’s about love, and sharing that love with those that are important to you and closest to you.   With what happened with mom today, my first instinct was to close up and curl in on myself.  A better route is to stay open and share my feelings with others that love and understand me.

Save – Seven of Macro (Earth) – Slow growth takes time, preservation, and conservation.  It isn’t something immediate, but gradual.  This takes patience.  It’s important to make sure you don’t throw patience out the window when you feel frustrated.  Instead, take a deep breath and persevere.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

 

Creativity Requires Bravery

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and tacked on to the end of my yoga/physio practice.  I had a lot of orders to get through today, and I didn’t want to take a chance of falling asleep if I got too comfortable. Taking time off has a bit of a price to it, yeah?  Lots of orders to get through and get processed to go out tomorrow, as they piled up during the time I took off.  At least I got a little bit of it done yesterday while we played.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - Ace of Fire - MulleinToday’s draw is the Ace of Fire (Ace of Wands) card, which is traditionally read as a new beginning, initial kindling, or the “seed” of a start in the area of one’s drive, motivations, passions, and inner spark.   This card signifies the initial spark of interest in the things that capture our attention and keep us captivated.

Not surprisingly, what catches my attention in this card’s imagery today is the gigantic mullein plant standing tall and strong and ready for harvest.

Mullein is an anti-inflammatory with an extremely diverse amount of uses.  Spiritually, it is also used to help in banishing bad dreams, foster bravery, and cleansing of psychic energies.   What I see in the plant represented here in this card today and in relation to being on the Ace of Fire, is that when that spark of inspiration strikes you, sometimes you have to take a moment to center… to gather yourself… and then take a leap.

Creativity requires bravery.  Following your dreams and going after those things you are passionate about takes bravery and strength.  The message in today’s card is about fostering that strength and encouraging it to flourish so that you are better prepared to go after your dreams and explore the things that kindle that spark of inspiration within you.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so overwhelmed.
Question:  Why am I so afraid to say no?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Reading Summary: I feel like I have so little control over the emotional side of my life (King of Cups and Two of Cups) that I feel the need to grasp and hold onto that control with an iron grip in the places where I can (The Emperor).

The bowed heads in the Two of Cups combined with Gideon represented by the King of cups indicate my submission and smallness.  Thus the indication of “lack of control” comes forth between the two cups cards (emotional side of things) in this reading.

Take Away:  I do not have a problem with saying no to others, but I very much do struggle with saying no to myself, whether that is in how I fill my plate with responsibilities and obligations, or in my addictions and pursuits and the things I want or want to do.   This difficulty in saying no to myself in these areas stems from my need to feel in control.   The more out of control I feel emotionally, the more I try to compensate by piling to much on my plate in those areas I feel that I do have control.

DECK USED:  HANSON ROBERTS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Would life lose meaning if we could live forever?

Women of Science TarotReading Summary:  You could fill your cup again and again (Queen of Cups), and even become addicted to the joys that life offers (The Devil), and yet it is the nature of humanity to lose sight of the value of those things that is with us day in and day out and begin to take them for granted (The Emperor).

Take Away:  Yes.  If there is no end… there is no value. Even with the relatively short lifespans that humanity currently has, people take for granted the great gift and possibilities that life provides them each and every day.  If immortality was possible, it would create a greater divide concerning one’s perceived value of life and thus its meaning.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  prepare for change // draw your energy // conserve resources // emerge

Veleda Woods Tarot

Prepare For Change – 9 of Swords and The Adviser Rx – There is a recommendation in these cards to reach out to my therapist and make an appointment. I’m not sure what it is I need to sort through with her, but the message here is clear. I’ll take the advice and call and make an appointment, as it’s apparent that in order to prepare for a change to come, I need to reach out to her.

Draw Your Energy – The Moon and The Star – Remember that in times of uncertainty to turn my attention to fostering hope and optimism. It’s too easy to fall into the old habit of pessimistic thinking, and uncertain times can create a breeding ground for those old habits to slip in and take root.

Conserve Resources – 8 of Wands Rx and The Lovers – Slow down and spend some time basking in the sun of your relationship with Gideon. This choice isn’t always easy for you, as you want to move fast and get things done and push, push, push for more. But the fact is that the faster you move the faster you want to move, and the more you push… the more you want to push even harder. Make the choice to not follow that path.

Emerge – 8 of Cups – You’ve been working hard at changing things and stepping away from old habits. It’s time to start focusing on emerging on the other side of this transition. When you abandon one place, you are also arriving in another. Begin considering what you want this new reality you’re emerging into to look like.

DECK USED:  VELEDA WOODS TAROT

Choosing Freedom

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I chose to oversleep and then had to scramble to get my ass up and moving in order to get everything done that I need to get done today.  I will try to do it before bed tonight, and then get back on track with morning meditations starting tomorrow.

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle - Ten of FireToday’s draw is the Ten of Fire (Ten of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of burden and overwhelm of responsibilities or obligations.   It is a card filled with feelings of hard work that have turned into drudgery.

I actually do not see any of that in this card’s imagery, or really in the key words either, for that matter.  In fact, what I see in the imagery of this card has more to do with release and freedom. This is depicted twofold in this card’s imagery.   First, through the releasing of the birds to find their flight and freedom in the sky.  And second, in releasing the birds, the woman in the card is also released from the responsibility of caring for them and thus free of her burden of responsibility.

The message in this card is an encouragement to release some of my own burdens, and this is something that I’ve actually made the decision to do and, in fact, have already put in motion the process of doing.   I’m taking a week off from the business.  I’ll still be working at the farm and the salon, but I will not allow either of them to increase my hours during this week either.     I need to step back and take some breaths of fresh air away from the constant cycle of work that the business creates.

I need a break, and I’m going to allow myself to take it.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question: Do my issues with self-worth require professional attention? How can I set my shame or guilt aside enough to more easily approach these issues with my therapist?

Midcenturian Tarot

Do my issues with self-worth require professional attention? – Three of Wands beneath The Chariot – You’re already on this path. You have direction and control in this moment over these issues and your therapist has given you the tools needed to prepare you as you move forward along your path.

How can I set my shame or guilt aside enough to more easily approach these issues with my therapist? – Two of Pentacles and Two of Swords – When you have need of your therapist’s help, you need to weigh your options and make a choice to do something about it instead of hanging back and waffling.

Take Away: Yes. Sometimes I need help with my self esteem issues.

Depression, which is my mental health issue predilection, is said to be hatred turned upon the self, and this is true in my personal experience.  Not that self hatred turned on the self creates depression, but that depression creates the cycle that turns hatred inward on yourself. At these times, I do need professional help.

Sometimes?  The depression sneaks up on me at a slow creep, and while I have an inkling of an idea that it’s coming or even has arrived, I waffle on getting help too long and slide into a deep pit of a depressive episode as a result.   A better choice is to not waffle, but call right away as soon as the first hint of what’s coming is noticed.

DECK USED:  MIDCENTURIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Act on This / Let this Rest

Veleda Woods TarotAct On This – Five of Cups – Work at letting go of your apathy and inner dissonance. Do not allow yourself to sink into these feelings, as they are not good for you and will hinder your path forward.  Instead, focus on rising above and finding the “sunlight through the clouds”.  There’s just as much good in the world as there is bad, so turn your attention from the “broken stems” in life and look for the good instead.

Let This Rest – Harvester of Swords Rx and The Devil – It’s time to lay off  a bit on shopping for your addiction. You have lots of preorders and kickstarters coming over the next few months, as well as orders that have not yet come in due to shipping delays. This does not necessarily mean cutting yourself off entirely as that would create a sense of deprivation and resentment, but it’s time to ease back for a bit.

DECK USED:  VELEDA WOODS TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  within // without

Student Tarot 4 Godard's BirdsWithin – Wheel of Fortune – You need to focus on being centered and more adaptable.  Don’t allow inner chaos to take hold and run rampant.  Do what you need to in order to keep yourself balanced and centered.

Without – Empress and The Lovers – Take time to appreciate all of the nurturing and love that you receive from others, and most especially from Gideon.  There is a great deal of love in your life, directed at you every single day in so many different ways.  Don’t take this for granted, but instead accept that love and nurturing care, and enjoy it rather than ignoring it or disregarding.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v4 GODARD’S BIRDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What moment from today do I feel is memorable?

Women of Science Tarot

Reading Summary: My decision (Five of Micro) to do something different (The World) and prioritize my inner knowledge and needs above my outer ones (The High Priestess).

Side Note:  The interpretation of these three cards is based off the imagery on the cards rather than their tarot meanings. In some cases, there is some overlap, especially in the third card… I just wanted to point out that in this case I wasn’t paying attention to the suits and traditional meanings.

Take Away:  I mentioned this in my COTD analysis, but I made the decision today that even though I’m not going anywhere, I’m going to put my shops / business on hold for a week and just take some time away from it to get a little distance and perspective. This is an extremely difficult decision for me, but I’ve already put everything in place and my “vacation” will start tomorrow after I’ve dropped off all my packages at the post office.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

Brain Shuffle

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and I did something a little different today (which I’m surprised my phone cooperated with me and it worked).  Essentially I overlaid my harp meditation with the incremental chimes over-top the guided meditation.  So I got both the guide’s voice doing her guided meditation thing, and the harp in the background, and the occasional charms that tell me when to change positions in my stretch.   It sounds complicated, but it was really great and definitely something I’ll be doing again.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Page of Air (Page of Swords) which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, logic, and the realm of communication.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today was the swirling of the fish around the central figure.   This swirling reminds me of the confusion that I sometimes go through when my brain has one of it’s “moments”.

This got me to thinking about why sometimes I’ll get in the habit of doing something (like messaging you as soon as I get home from work, for instance) and I’ll do that for a while and then suddenly I just stop. I know this is something that confuses you when it has something to do with how I interact with you specifically. But I want you to know that it’s not just you, and in truth?  I don’t even realize when it happens.  It’s sort of as if my brain goes through some sort of cyclical reshuffling on a periodic basis. At these times, some small things get lost in the shuffle, and then when things re-shuffle again (or you remind me)… they resurface.

I don’t know if this is natural and something that everyone goes through… or if it’s part of the results of the head injury that I experienced when I was younger that still at times screws with my memory. Either way, the fish in today’s card brought this to mind, and I think that the message here isn’t so much a “moral of the story” message as it is an encouragement for me to think about this in general and let it become something I’m more conscious of as a whole, even if I don’t realize it’s happening in the moment.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:  How are fear and shame playing into my refusal to acknowledge my purpose?

Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion Pack

Reading Summary: There is a continuation of color in these cards that indicates a building from one card to the next.  In the first card, you have a moose among men and he swings with them without fear of condemnation or reprisal… shameless.   In the center card, the knight stands in the mouth of the monster without fear or either falling or being eaten alive… fearless.  In the last card, the owl eats fruit from its own brain tree, indicating self sufficiency.

Take Away:  I am shameless and fearless in this area. I am centered in my purpose and know my path well as it is the path I chose for myself.

This has always been the case for me, and I honestly have no idea where the confidence to walk my own path came from.  It’s just always been there.  I know what I like and no amount of fear or shame can sway me from it.  I know what’s right for me, whether that’s something I like or some moral dilemma, or the steps taken along my spiritual path or my life path.

I honestly have struggled with the Tarot for Growth questions for the past few days, because struggling to find my purpose is just not something that I personally have an issue with, so the questions that focus upon that issue are really not something I relate well to.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  What do I need to focus on for self-care for this upcoming full moon?

Numinous TarotReading Summary:  Take some time to appreciate all that you’ve accomplished (Ten of Tomes), with extra emphasis placed upon the fact that you have accomplished these things by being the capable and resourceful individual that you are (The Magician).  Use this knowledge to push back against (Explorer of Bells) that inner critic that keeps trying to beat you into submission lately (Three of Bells).

Take Away:  My inner critic is a son of a bitch.  It’s no secret that this is something that I struggle with a lot. It works hard to convince me that nothing I do is ever good enough or ever enough at all. It pushes me forward, driving me to always give my all to every little thing… and the thing is?  It’s not just exhausting, but it’s impossible to give your all to every little thing.  With this upcoming full moon, the cards remind me to not give that inner critic credence, but instead look at all that I have done and how capable these accomplishments prove that I am… no matter what that inner critic says to the contrary.

DECK USED:  NUMINOUS TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  stop // use caution // go

Women of Science Tarot

Stop – Three of Astro – Don’t allow your thoughts to pick apart at your inner confidence. It’s important to take what that inner critic says with a grain of salt.

Use Caution – Three of Macro and Justice – Pay attention to what tasks you are farming out to others.  You have exacting standards, and you don’t want to hand out tasks to others that will lower the quality of the end results.

Go – Ten of Astro – As a previous reading I did earlier in the week stated, it’s time to move forward with the transition and growth that I’m going through.  I’ve spent time gathering wool and exploring, but I can’t stay still forever.  It’s time to consciously work on letting go of the old and stepping into the new.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT