#whisperingwoodschallenge

Illusions of Failure

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  I laid down and was planning on doing it but then all hell broke loose and I ended up distracted from doing it into doing other things.  So… yeah.  Tomorrow.

Heartspun Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Pentacles, which is a representation of accomplishment and stability in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, home, and manifestations. It’s about having surpassed satiation and comfort, and having moved on to “spreading the wealth” to make that stability not just one that is steady beneath your feet, but also the feet of others that stand with you.

I’ve had to do a lot of supply shopping for the business the last few days (and tomorrow), and this kind of heavy spending always makes me feel a bit vulnerable and irritable. It’s feels like having to pull packed and stable dirt out from under my feet in order to keep things running smoothly.

I know that in doing this, I then open the door for more prosperity and more progress, but that moment of instability in the spending still feels… vulnerable.    The Ten of Pentacles combined with today’s Thera-Pets card is a reminder that that feeling I experience during these times is an illusion.  It’s a sign of progress that I need to buy more supplies. It’s a good thing.

DECK USED:  HEARTSPUN TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How have I allowed what I was taught about what’s acceptable in society to burden me?

Tarot de Marseille-Waite

Reading Summary: I have taken the structure of what my early home life presented to me (Four of Wands) to learn what not to do (Death), so that I could create something healthier and more accepting (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  I haven’t.  The answer here is that I have not allowed what I’ve been taught are society’s expectations to burden me.  I don’t rule my life by society’s expectations, but rather by my own personal moral compass.  I know what is right and wrong for me, and I follow this to find a better path and a happier life than if I were to allow myself to be constrained and/or burdened by the expectations of others.

This is not to say that there have not been times in my past where I’ve found myself trying to mold myself into the expectations placed upon me by my father, but at this time in my life I have found ways to reach past those expectations and begin living for myself instead.

DECK USED:  TAROT DE MARSEILLE-WAITE

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

Heartspun TarotOne day Jude and Michael went to the mall to shop for a new girlfriend.As they walked down the corridors of the mall checking out all of the different girls, there were many who turned their heads to check them out along the way. (Two of Cups)

Looking at the girls, some were tall and others short, some were curvy and others lean, some beautiful and others more cute than breathtaking.  (Wheel of Fortune atop Two of Swords)

All day long they checked out the girls at the mall, but by the end of the day, neither had found one that they liked.  Then, as they were heading for the exit Jude pulled Michael up short and kissed him.

And neither of them ever looked at girls again. (Ten of Swords)

DECK USED:  HEARTSPUN TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I got laid and was a greedy fucker and it was glorious.   I love you, Gideon.

Relationship Balance

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Today’s meditation was just over twenty-two minutes long and was one of the customizable meditations that are offered on the Oak app.  I actually set the thing for 18 minutes but ended up lingering for a few minutes more once it was over.  I like the mantra meditation, but I’m not all that sure about the customizable ones.  I’ll probably mess with them a few more times before I make up my mind on them, though.  I do like that you can set up the length how you want, though, which isn’t something you can do with the Calm app that I’m used to using most of the time.

Walter & Fitzpatrick Inspired Harmonious Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.

As happens sometimes when the King of Cups comes up, today the King of Cups feels representative to Gideon. He is, hands down, the closest to a physical manifestation that I’ve ever met of what I see in the King of Cups and in personal readings this card often comes out in direct reference to him.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see as the message in today’s cards is that I need to stop feeling so guilty for letting him take so much of a lions share of the reigns and responsibility in our relationship.  I often feel like he does so much more for me and us than I do, and I believe that even now to this day.   He assures me often that this is not the case and yet… it sure still seems like it. Okay, being fully honest I swear he loves me more.  Maybe it’s just in how differently we express our love to each other?  But I always feel like he loves me more. Sometimes I feel guilt for that too.

The cards today are a reassurance that that’s okay.  He’s happy.  I’m happy.  And really?  That’s what matters.  Not who’s bearing more weight or who loves who more.  It’s about being happy and comfortable and right for each other.  We have that stuff down pat.  Balance looks different for everyone… this is ours.

DECK USED:  WALTER & FITZPATRICK INSPIRED HARMONIOUS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Do I seek out or allow toxicity or drama into my life? If so, when and why?

Gummy Bear Tarot

Reading Summary: I try not to (Seven of Wands), and I have the tools to not allow it (The Magician). But it happens when I’m feeling disconnected (The Star Rx) and not getting the nurturing energy that I need as a result (The Empress). And then trounce off like an asshat (The Fool) and try and tear shit down/apart in an effort to fix it all (The Tower).

Take Away:  A better way to deal with these issues would be with a bit of forethought. Unfortunately, I’m often at the asshat stage before I realize what’s going on and that I’m acting out.   I actually thought the cards were going to call me out on my self destructive tendencies, but the Tower in this reading isn’t about that so much as about restlessness and discontent creating a situation where I stir shit up in a subconscious desire to fix things and get what I’m missing.

DECK USED:  GUMMY BEAR TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I replace judgements with more compassion?

Walter & Fitzpatrick Inspired Harmonious TarotReading Summary:  Get in touch with my personal feelings of security and stability (King of Pentacles) and allow myself to not just connect with those feelings but share them with others (Ten of Pentacles). Show gratitude and teach this to others through example (Nine of Pentacles).

Take Away: The message here is to make sure that I am in touch with just how fortunate I am, and just how hard I worked to get there. Show others the benefits of living a life in which you appreciate what you have and share that with others.  Through sharing this with others, it becomes a bigger focal point in my own life as well, creating a cycle of ownership and positive reinforcement.

DECK USED:  WALTER & FITZPATRICK INSPIRED HARMONIOUS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

*Points to the picture below.*  Yum Yum

Blueberry Muffin and Cup of Sunshine/Chamomile Tea

Don’t Be A Doormat

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IMG_9871Today’s meditation was just over twenty two minutes long and was the last segment of the mantra meditation series in the Oak app.  I’ve discovered that while ten minutes is just a bit too short for me to really sink into my meditation, twenty two minutes is just a bit too long.  It isn’t that I get restless so much as just around the twenty minute mark my mind seems decide it’s time to wander into daydream type “dozing off” musings.  You know, the kind that you slide into just before falling asleep?  Yeah, those.

Tarot of the Old Path and Thera-Pets Emotional Support CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s home life, finances, resources, health, or manifestations.  This often translates into highly responsible individuals with a nurturing nature, themes to do with providing for others while listening to their needs, and being practical minded.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is that the Queen looks tired. Wrung out. She’s put herself out there and done what she can for others and now she needs a minute to rest and take a breath, refortify before moving forward.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a message about pacing yourself. The more you allow people to depend on you instead of doing for themselves? The more they will lean on you to give even more of yourself.  It’s important to “teach the man to fish” for himself rather than just doing everything yourself and wearing yourself out.  Self care is important, and a part of self care is making sure you are not being taken advantage of by those that are either too lazy,  or to convinced of their own inadequacies, to do for themselves.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE OLD PATH AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: In what area am I asked to plant my seeds of growth this month?

Tattoed Tarot

Reading Summary: Work on connecting with your spirituality and feelings of hope (The Stars), allow them to strengthen you and lift you up (Strength), and don’t allow your enthusiasm for exploration distract you from this (Knave of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  Confession.  As I feel better and recover from the depression, and as my enthusiasm reawakens within me, I have a habit of overfilling “my plate” with too many projects and responsibilities.  A part of that is because I feel better and I want to dive in and explore new things, as well as rediscover old favorites that while I was depressed I had lost my enthusiasm for.

The cards here are a reminder that over this month while I am in recovery and finding my balance, I need to focus on setting to right my balance itself and my connections with my spirituality and inner strength instead of letting that awakening enthusiasm distract me in another direction.

DECK USED:  TATTOED TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Are there limits to human creativity?

Tarot of the Old PathReading Summary: Creating boundaries is important (Seven of Rods) in finding the right life path (The Wise One) and our opportunities for growth (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away: The only limits are those that we put upon ourselves.  That is not to say that we should not put limits upon ourselves, though, but rather that each individual needs to wisely make the best choices for their own self-actualization and growth.

These boundaries and choices we make may limit us in certain ways, but this is so that we can direct that energy into other areas we deem to be more important.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE OLD PATH

Daily Self Kindness

I went for a waterfall hike and had a great time enjoying myself among the mossy branches and nurse logs.

A New Day… Starting Now

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IMG_9836Today’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and was the ninth installment of the Mantra Meditation course that is being offered on the Oak app.

The meditation included the longest silent time so far and it was really nice right up until the last three minutes when L decided she HAD to interrupt, didn’t like my answer on where the thing was she was looking for, and immediately snarked at me in a very bitchy manner which immediately turned my own calm into an inner snarl of irritation.

So yeah.  That sucked.

Bumbleberry Hollows Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardaToday’s draw is the Knight of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s intellect, aspirations, thoughts, and communication.

I really like these two cards together and the message was so clear that it felt like there was no missing it, especially considering my experience with my sister this morning at the end of my meditation.

What these two cards today say to me is, “Go hack the shit out of this fish and get it all out, then take a deep breath and step forward into the next moment, where you can start anew.”

Why, after all, does it have to be that each day is a new day?  Why wait until tomorrow.  Why not start now, or in a few minutes, or in an hour?

Get out what’s frustrating you, get out those emotions that are dragging you down or irritating you or frustrating you.  Work them out, through exercise or some other way. Expel them through blood or sweat or tears… or all three.

Then take a breath, and move on.  Start again, and make the next time better than than the last.

DECK USED:  BUMBLEBERRY HOLLOWS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Thinking back to a time when I passed judgement on someone else, how was that really about me?

Baby Tarot

Reading Summary: I’ve known a few people in life that have sticky fingers and seemed to see stealing not as a crime or something wrong, but justified in one way or another (Seven of Swords).  I’ve watched them as they have done things like steal from others or shoplift, then just move on if everything is perfect and they’ve done nothing wrong (facial expression in The World). In my case, such an act would cause worries, anxieties, and nightmares (Nine of Swords) and I’ve always wondered how others were able to do this type of behavior and not suffer the same.

Take Away:  My moral compass and ethics are very uniquely my own and no one else’s.   I understand this just as well as I understand that there are things I see no wrong in that others might consider morally corrupt, and things others see nothing wrong in that I personally view as morally corrupt. Sometimes it can be difficult to keep this in mind, though, when you see someone do something that is so far outside the realm of “okay” in your own moral compass and ethics that it seems like something that ‘should’ be universal… but isn’t.

DECK USED:  BABY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best improve in the area of my greatest weakness?

Bumbleberry Hollows TarotReading Summary: Walk away from (Eight of Cups) impulsivity and distraction (Knight of Wands) and focus on your emotional growth (Ace of Cups).

Take Away: I need to focus upon  my emotional growth and developing my emotional intelligence instead of allowing this, that, and the other to distract me away from this pursuit.

My business, in particular, offers me a great many distractions that speak to my interests and passions, but if I allow myself to get too wrapped up in too many of them, then everything else goes out the window including my self care and seeking that growth that I’ve been working on getting in touch with and fostering for more than a year now.

DECK USED:  BUMBLEBERRY HOLLOWS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’ve prepped my day pack to head out for a hike tomorrow.

Emotional Balance

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  Yes… I know that last weekend’s Self Care Saturday specifically encouraged me to pick things up in this area, but there was just so much annoying shit going on and I couldn’t settle and do it.  I might do a short one before bed, though.

Otto Schmidt Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, creativity, intuition, and relationships. Among other things, this often translates into themes that have to do with compassion and emotional support.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is equally the swan, and that the look on the queens face looks very… clever.

These aspects remind me of the literary roleplay that Gideon and I used to do based on the Anita Blake series where we played were-swans and had a cove.  There was a particular player in the realm that wanted to come in as the queen of the swans, but we were concerned because she had a tendency to become overly emotional and allow it to screw with her roleplay as well as bleed over into screwing with other’s play and emotions.

The message here is that sometimes even those in charge have moments where their emotions are in control.  At times, this can be good and create a calm and comfortable, almost serene environment.  But only if there are checks and balances in place to make sure when emotions run  high things don’t get out of control.

When my own emotions run high?  I struggle a lot.  Today’s card, combined with the Thera-Pets card for the day, is a reminder that having an emotional moment (or hour… or day… or week) is not the end of the world.  At these times, find what anchors you (that foot the queen in the card still has on the ground) and use it to find your balance once more.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: When do I make others feel guilty, manipulated, or pressured into doing what I want them to?

Harmony Tarot

Guilty: When I am feeling discontentment in a relationship and the need is arising to re-establish or re-evaluate boundaries.  This card indicates that during these moments, I may feel tempted to use guilt to snap the other person to attention and  get things moving and the restructuring started. (Four of Summer)

Manipulated:  Times when I feel the temptation to use manipulation on others or make them feel as if I am are when I am trying to motivate people out of their moments of stagnancy and into a place of inspired movement, often by speaking to them and using what is important to them to drag them out of that stall and into action. (Dusk atop Knight of Spring)

Pressured:  When I am feeling pressure and the strain of upheaval, there are times when I can unintentionally spread that pressure and strain to others either through the projection of my energy, or through how I interact with them or the things I say. (Two of Winter)

DECK USED:  HARMONY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my greatest weakness?

Otto Schmidt TarotReading Summary:  The Tower and the Two of Wands are connected through color scheme and through the contrast of the Empress between them.  This speaks to me of bypassing the energy and themes of the Empress in times of chaos and trouble (The Tower).  Instead of focusing on self care and nurturing energy (The Empress), I focus on finding a way to move past the chaos as soon as possible (Two of Wands) even if it is at my own detriment to do so.

Take Away:  Distancing myself from chaos is a habit that has worked for me in many ways.  The problem comes when you have to run over hot coals just to add that distance and get away from that chaos.  Then, is it better to linger in the chaos and destruction?  Or is it better to run over the hot coals?

The cards here indicate that there are times when it’s better to linger in the chaos, allow the destruction to happen around you, and focus instead upon your own self care and nurturing yourself and those around you rather than seeking out the fastest escape plan.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I specifically and consciously chose to not reach out to someone in need of mental health support because I knew that I was personally not in a place in my own mental health where it would be healthy for me to do so.  Putting myself first in this manner is extremely difficult for me.

It Will Pass

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IMG_9804Today’s meditation was a bit different than normal because I felt like a change.  Instead of doing the next installment of the mantra meditation from the Oak app, I did an eighteen minute meditation using the water drops music that I enjoy and just allowing myself to drift.

While doing the meditation, I used the writing on the graphic to the right to give myself a bit of focus, allowing each drop of water to be a punctuation point on the saying and draw the words a bit deeper and deeper.

Not So Mystical Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of dissatisfaction, pessimism, and the tendency to only see failure and discouragement instead of looking at the positive side of things.

What I see in the image here goes along those lines, in that what I see here is frustration caused by seeing only the struggle and trials of a situation instead of what within that situation is still salvageable.

I’ve had a long few days trying to get myself together after confronting my anxiety over the border thing and playing catch up.  The whole stress and distraction sort of took over my life for a couple of days and now I feel like I’ve fallen behind on so much. Not just blog posts, but eating healthy and taking my vitamins, a large variety of things sort of “fell off the rails” for a few days.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message in today’s card is that even when things feel like they’re falling apart, there’s still some good in the situation somewhere.  Take a breath and remember that this moment isn’t the end of the world, it’s just a moment of frustration and struggle.  It will pass, and you’ll still be standing at the end of it all.

DECK USED:  NOT SO MYSTICAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What does The Universe want me to create for myself right now?

Cat-Rot Tarot 2020 Edition

 Reading Summary: Stop forcing yourself to work so damned hard (Eight of Pentacles) and create balance (Justice) by creating more happy memories with L and Z (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Introducing balance through being kind to myself is so hard for me, but that is essentially what is being requested of me here. I need to spend more time with Z and L.  Time that isn’t saturated in work and the business, but is about just enjoying each other’s company.  The cards here indicating that by neglecting these opportunities by focusing too much on work, I am missing out on something healing and balancing.

DECK USED:  CAT-ROT TAROT 2020 EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Not So Mystical TarotWhat do I need to let go of to ease my mind?

Seven of Pentacles – Stop worrying so much about how long things are going to take and just allow them to develop at their own pace.  Impatience is not going to work at making things move any faster.

What do I need to let go of to lighten my heart?

Six of Wands – Remember not to concern yourself too much about other’s expectations.  It’s not their judgements that matter, it’s your own.  If you focus on making yourself happy, they’ll be happy, because you’re your harshest judge and will exceed other’s expectations just to meet those you hold for yourself anyway.

What do I need to let go of to free my creative spark?

The Empress – Ground more and be kinder to yourself. Stop putting off the self care needs that you should be focusing on and doing.  Ignoring your needs and self care will hold you back from a full recovery as you climb, slowing you down and causing you to spend less time without the enthusiasm that feeds your creative spark.

DECK USED:  NOT SO MYSTICAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I spent nearly the whole day playing with Gideon today and it was… so fucking amazing.