Way of the Panda Tarot

Looking Out the Windows

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another of the harps strings meditations with interval timer of chimes to help me through the stretching part of the process. It was very relaxing, and as often seems to happen these days when I meditate, I ended up in a bit of a nap afterward. Just saying? But having fruit in the house was a real motivator to get me going as well surprisingly. I was very eager to make myself my berry smoothie, so when I woke up there was no dawdling at all.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Earth (Four of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of stability in hearth and home, finances and resources, as well as one’s health and manifestation goals.  This can also easily turn into a negative card if one takes that stability too far and becomes miserly or overly focused.

Although basket weaving is in the forefront and represents home and hearth to me as well as taking care of those you love, what really stood out to me today is the willow in the background. Medically speaking, its properties include use as an astringent and fever reducer, and the salicin in its bark is the active ingredient in aspirin.   Metaphysically, this tree is considered a sheltering protector and is associated with immortality through it’s reproductive abilities.

What I see as the message in today’s card is a combination of what sits in the foreground, and the willow that drew my eye to the background.  The willow is a protective tree.  It shelters many secrets within its shady embrace and protects them from discovery and harm.  So too does the Four of Earth offer protection through the sheltering protection of stability.

Just don’t get so focused upon that shelter that you forget to look beyond it.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  What can I do to remind myself that rest is important before I’m in desperate need of it?

Star Seeker Tarot

Reading Summary: Learn to recognize the signs (Page of Swords), and then seize steady and rooted control (King of Pentacles) to keep things balanced by using the tools at your disposal (The Magician).

Take Away: To make sure that I’m staying on top of when I need rest and when it is most important to my health and well being, I need to pay attention to the signs and not ignore them as I usually do.  Instead, I need to take them seriously and use them as a trigger to bring my responsible self forward and do what needs done to solve the problem before it becomes detrimental to me.

DECK USED:  STAR SEEKER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  Do Spread #2
How can I make sure that I don’t backslide in my emotional growth from this year?

Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion PackReading Summary: The combination of colors that coincide with each other in the second and third cards, connect these cards together, whereas the complete difference in colors and shapes through the first card in relation to the other two mark it as an outlier.

In the first two cards we have a crazily swirling sea with lots of unknown monsters in the dark, and yet the child sleeps and the sailor continues to row his boat.  This indicates a need to accept that uncertainty happens.  The world within the spin of a roulette like wheel then continues that theme, saying that that the presence of uncertainty in life is a part how the world works.

The outlier card, stands alone, separate from the other two by form and shape, subject matter and colors. The figures are packed and moving on…. and this indicates that the uncertainty indicated in the other two cards does not mean that you can just pack up and walk away.

Take Away: The cards here indicate that my biggest hurdle to trigger backsliding is emotional turbulence and uncertainty.  My natural response to these things is to close up and turn inward, retreating from others and the world in order to pull up my “walls” and hide behind them.   In order to keep from backsliding in my emotional growth, I need to accept that uncertainty is a part of life and that retreating from it solves nothing.  Don’t run away, stay and see things through instead.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARD v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question:  what you project // what you take in // what lies deep within

Animism Tarot

What I Project – The High Priestess – Mystery in the knowledge of secrets. I found this card to be an interesting response to this question, but at the same time, it also makes sense considering my background and knowledge garnered from being a life-long pagan, fortune teller, and witch.  I think it’s more the “secret” part of the answer that gave me pause, as I’m always so willing to be open about my history and my knowledge, should anyone want to ask.

What I Take In – Nine of Wands – Energy.  I take in the energy of others, which is often defensive.  I didn’t realize this until recently when Kev did my Human Design System reading. A good deal of the reading rang true, and that included the part about my struggle to connect with others. When I rub people the wrong way, I feel that deeply as it is reflected back to me.  I’ve considered restructuring my shielding to deflect this, but I find the input helpful.

What Lies Deep Within – Five of Pentacles – Depression and pessimism.  As I mentioned in yesterday’s reading, I’m upfront about the fact that I deal with depression and have done so throughout my life… and yet when a depressive episode comes upon me, I work to hide it both from others as well as myself.  My pessimism is something I also try to hide, although it more often becomes apparent during times when I’m feeling especially grouchy.  These things live deep within me, and although I struggle with them and try to fight against them when they rise up?  I don’t think they can really be abolished so much as… managed.

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

Standing Tall

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was… not as long or as relaxing as I would have liked. It’s just too hot for my tastes.   I has to turn the AC off for a bit in the bedroom to get a little peace from the constant grating of the AC’s sound vibrating under my skin.  It just… ugh.   And with the AC off, the room got hot fast.  Thus I found myself uncomfortable in an entirely different way.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Adelita of Fire (Knight of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s drives and ambitions, passions and inspiration.

Funny enough (although maybe not entirely surprising considering what I do for a living) what stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the bracelet on the wrist of the one wielding the mortar and pestle.

I see flair in that bracelet.  A boldness and fierce brightness of color that only someone with flair and the strong spark of a passionate nature can pull off.  It fits well with the boldness of a Knight’s active energy and the spark of the fire suit.   In the same vein, so does the representation of Cayenne used in this card.

Cayenne is a decongestant, an antibacterial, an anti-irritant, and an anti-inflammatory circulatory stimulant. It’s medicinal uses are known world wide, and are extremely diverse. Metaphysically it’s uses often lean more towards the love and passion side of things, and it is also useful in protection spells as well as promoting courage.

The message in this card today is about the courage of being bold and being yourself.  Sometimes everyone has self doubts, and that includes me.  Awkwardness creeps in and you find yourself hesitating and feeling a bit “off”.   With a hint of the drop niggling at my core, that vulnerability can create that hesitation in doubt in myself… and the message in this card coming up today is to not allow that niggling to drag me down and under into a place where I feel the need to retreat or put on a mask of invulnerability.

Instead… Stand tall. Be yourself.  Be bold.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so overwhelmed.
Question:  How does over-commitment impact my mental health?

Tarot Maddonni

Reading Summary: More “acting out” concerning my addictions (Le Diable). Less able to accept stabilizing comfort from Gideon (King of Cups Rx). Less joy and enjoyment in life (The Sun in reference to how tired and un-enthused the face of the sun appears).

Take Away:  Over-commitment breeds a need for escapism, self destructive tendencies, and self-soothing in unhealthy ways.  Instead of seeking soothing from healthy sources, the sense of overwhelm creates a tendency to close myself off from those healthy outlets and has me seeking out unhealthy ones instead.  It also creates burnout, which causes an overall lack of enthusiasm for… well, just about damned near everything.

DECK USED:  TAROT MADDONNI

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Way of the Panda TarotReading Summary:Remember that the good stuff takes time to develop and don’t get all defensive or up in arms if that growth takes longer than you think it should (Seven of Swords).  You may have others clamoring for you to share the wealth (Six of Pentacles) but now is not the time (Seven of Swords).

[Note the presence of a star even within the imagery of the Sword card, tying it into the theme of the Pentacle cards.]

Take Away:  This is another warning to “stay in my lane” and focus on long term benefits at this time in my life. The new moon is a good time to start new things, and to turn things around and start anew.   The cards here indicate that what I need to start anew is the “long term” perspective concerning my goals and ambitions concerning my security and stability of health and home.  Be the miser and take this time to foster growth.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  new moon in cancer:  look back // lay the foundation // look ahead

Tarotbot Tarot

Nine of Wands – Look back at the time I took off and how it lightened my feeling of burden. Keep this in mind and make sure that I use that experience to encourage further times of rest, bolstering me so that I can move forward again with my strength renewed.

Knight of Wands – Lay the foundation for the holiday rush. It’s time to start looking at what needs preparation so that when the time comes, I’m ready to surge forward into it.

Queen of Swords – Look ahead at making wise decisions that will allow for growth rather than focusing on negative inner dialogue that creates road blocks and inner strife.

DECK USED:  TAROTBOT TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How does a creative blockage feel?

Karma TarotReading Summary: Like my synergy (Three of Cups) to my inner fire (Ace of Wands) and ability to manifest (Lilith) are being blocked (Rx of the Three of Cups), and that this is then standing in the way to any kind of emotional fulfillment (Ten of Cups) that I would usually get from creative pursuits.

Take Away:  I garner a sensation of emotional fulfillment when I am deep within my creative process and bringing to reality the combination of my inner spark’s passion combined with the ideas in my mind.  This process of manifestation is joyous and when there is a creative block in play, it feels as if all of the synergy and coordination between these different aspects of myself is out of whack.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

Familiar Comforts

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I admit that I was a little distracted because I was eager to get out and go hiking. I did a second meditation in the woods lying naked on the forest floor in the mountains before going above the treeline, and that was much more relaxing. Although I didn’t time it, I would estimate the meditation probably lasted about half an hour… maybe a bit longer.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Ten of Air (Ten of Swords) which is traditionally read as “the end of the line” of the tragedies of the Swords suit and is a culmination of the suit’s struggles.  It indicates themes that have to do with defeat, betrayal, and wounds that cut deep.

What stood out strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is the defeated slump of Medusa’s posture, but even more so… the snake that is closest to her face which then brings my attention to the others in the light… and from there the others yet still hidden in the shadows. In noticing this I feel that they must offer some sort of comfort.  They have been with her all this time and are surely, even as they are a part of her, also a comfort to her that they are there in this moment.

The message in today’s card is about not allowing times when you feel defeated by wounds (internal or external) that have cut you down also isolate you. Take comfort in others, seek out those that love you and care about you, find those that will sit and make space for you to just be… you.   Don’t look to them to solve anything, but take comfort in their presence and the fact that they are there.   You are not alone.

With my subdrop sure to be just around the corner, today’s card is a reminder that when I am feeling out of sorts from the drop, you are there for me to help me through.  Just your presence makes things better and eases that ache inside my soul.  I need to not hold myself apart and strive instead to move in closer and let you soothe the drop and untangle those inner knots that the drop creates.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question:  How can I be more mindful about challenging and correcting negative self-talk?

Way of the Panda Tarot

Reading Summary: Remember to look at things from another angle (Judgement) and pay attention to the fact that you really have done a lot (Ten of Pentacles) and you’re a hard worker with great deal of hard earned skill (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: Instead of allowing my inner narrative to have free reign, pay attention to what you hear with your ears and take that to heart. You’ve spent your life refusing to allow people’s perceptions of you matter, but those same perceptions can boost you up and create a positive narrative to help you in counteracting the negative inner dialogue you deal with on a constant basis.

Remember as well that you have created a comfortable life not just for yourself, but for L as well.  You share your stability and comfort with others, and are more than capable of sustaining it going forward.  The skills you have worked so hard to master, and have used to create this stability  in your life, are not going to just disappear.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I feel more grounded on my life’s current path?

Evolution TarotReading Summary: Make sure you are getting the alone time that you need (The Hermit) and use that time to forge a new path for your inner dialogue (Knight of Swords). Keep in mind that positivity and optimism (The Star) is not a natural state for you and takes repetition and diligence (Knight of Swords again).

There is a theme of darkness and purple through each of these three cards that does not carry through the entire deck.  This speaks to me of not just solitude, but peaceful solitude.  This is why I indicate that the cards say that I need to use the alone time for distancing from my normal inner critic’s dialogue.

Take Away:  Peaceful alone time and continued work on the optimism perspective will combine to give me an increased feeling of grounding in my life at this time. Neglecting my alone time now that I have the opportunity to get it (even if not in the same ways I could before) is detrimental and I need to make sure I’m fitting that in.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question:  pencil // pen  // permanent marker // tattoo

Slavic Tarot

Recipe For A Good Life

Pencil in the hardships.
Add strength and purpose in pen.
Write in nurturing balance in permanent marker.
And tattoo motivation and drive into your soul.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How can I think more creatively?

Karma Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t allow (Seven of Wands) your addictions (The Devil) to get in the way of your motivation (Eight of Wands).

Take Away:  Having an addictive personality is a bitch.  Just sayin’.   But it’s really hard sometimes to force yourself away from the stuff that feels good and you want more of.  Whether that’s certain foods, or sleep, or whatever…  So many things seem so innocuous but can become a mess of addiction and patterns that need to be broken so easily… so very easily.

The cards here indicate that it’s by staying on top of that addictive personality trait and making sure it’s kept in hand that allows my creativity free reign to flourish and grow.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

Reactionary Resistance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was put off until the end of the day as I had a really long drive to do today and wanted to get on the road. I did take a few minutes to breathe and calm after the incident earlier today when the guy spit in my face… but it wasn’t a full meditation.  I’m honestly so tired that I’m not sure I will get it in today, but I’ll try to do it before bed.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Neptune card.  This deck is a combination of a full tarot deck and oracle deck in one.   This particular card is a part of the oracle side of the deck and represents the Greek god Neptune, who ruled over dreams and intuition, as well as introspection, perception, and psychic ability.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is how well the depiction of Neptune blends into his surroundings.  His coloring is a smooth blend to sea and sky, his hair swept with the clouds.  This speaks to me of  the ability we have to blend into our own surroundings and use that connection to better understand others and the world around us.

The message today is about listening.  It’s about paying attention and watching, and striving for understanding of other people and the world around us.

When I received this message, I thought it was a good one, but didn’t think there was anything specific in reference to it… and then I went to the post office and got up very close and personal with racism.  Now, I understand this card’s message much more.  It’s about stepping outside yourself in order to find some sort of understanding or peace with the incomprehensible.

It’s about taking yourself out of the personal chaos to connect with something bigger, and in doing so finding a way past the intensity of your initial reactions so that you can deal with the situation in a calm and competent way.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:  How can I improve upon the limits I’ve placed on myself concerning my desires?

Way of the Panda Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes obtaining what you want takes time (Ace of Pentacles under Seven of Pentacles). Don’t worry so much (Nine of Swords) or allow yourself to feel heartache or disappointment (Three of Swords) just because you can’t have something right away.

Take Away:  I’m doing just fine concerning my limits and going after what I desire.  Where I need to direct my focus and my efforts is on controlling my impatience and allowing things to develop at their own pace.  Sometimes obtaining your desires takes time and I struggle with that.  The cards indicate I need to make sure I stay positive during those moments of impatience.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I bring more joy into my life at this time?

Lumina TarotReading Summary: Generosity (Six of Pentacles) of mind and self control (King of Swords) instead of listening to your inner critic (The Devil).

Take Away:  Because of my self-destructive urges, listening to my inner critic is not just something I do out of habit, but also out of a sort of vicious cycle of self harm.

Since I’ve been on medication that actually works, I rarely have suicidal thoughts or urges, and my self harming behavior has become far, far more subtle.  But, those self harm urges are still there. If I want to introduce more joy into my life, I need to make a concerted effort to be kinder to myself… as well as making more a conscious effort at increasing my control over the tone of my internal dialogue.

DECK USED:  LUMINA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  cleanse // clear // renew

Animism Tarot

Cleanse – Nine of Pentacles – Clean out your closets.

Literally.   This isn’t a metaphor.  I had a plan to clean out two of the closets in my condo this summer, and I haven’t touched either of them yet.

Clear – Five of Swords – Let go of your angst.

After what happened today outside the post office, this makes perfect sense, but I think that this is about more than that.  I’ve been a bit short and cranky the past week or so compared to usual.  I’m not entirely sure where those feelings have been coming from, but I think you’re on to something about the extra emotions adding a level of abrasion that isn’t usually present. 

Renew – The Hermit – Take some time to yourself to do some soul searching.

It’s still extremely difficult for me to get some decent alone time.  There is always people at home and when I go out into the woods I have to do it “on a schedule” rather than just going out and letting myself forget about time and responsibilities as I used to.  I need to make a more concerted effort to give myself some alone time that is quality time.

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What advice do I need to give myself and take to heart?

Wild Unknown Tarot

Reading Summary: Take some damn time for yourself or else.

Take Away:  This is a warning that if I do not put in some actual quality alone time with myself I’m going to be sorry.   That sense of overwhelm and chaotic mess that I become when things get out of control internally is coming and if I don’t find a way to “steal away” the quality alone time for myself  that I need, that chaotic internal mess is going to become the center of my world.

DECK USED:  WILD UNKNOWN TAROT