using tarot for guidance

Don’t Be Impulsive When Torn

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Today’s meditation was skipped, but I plan on doing it before bed tonight.  There was a reason but for the life of me I can’t remember what the hell it was.  I think I just couldn’t concentrate with all the noise outside.  They’re starting to work on the property across the back alley from me and I need to work on getting used to the sounds coming from over there… especially since it’s probably going to be an all spring/summer/fall experience.

A Siren's Melody Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with difficult decisions or being torn in two directions at the same time and needing to find a way to choose.   It’s all about being in your head and the choices that are sometimes a struggle to make, especially when overthinking and not looking outward for answers.

I see that little person among the chaos of color and shape, and it reminds me of the chaos in one’s brain when confronted with two choices and unable to untangle one’s moral compass and logic enough to find the right choice to make.

Although this isn’t something that happens to me often, it has happened a few times, and I’ve always hated that tangled mess feeling that clouds the brain during these moments.   What I see in this card is that the person struggling with this issue has become surrounded by it, and the way out is murky at best.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that when in the middle of these moments of indecision, it’s okay to slow down and take your time.  It’s okay not to make that decision right this second.  Instead, take some time, move slowly,  and see if things don’t become clearer if you move a little slower.

DECK USED:  A SIREN’S MELODY TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What good am I creating that is not directly visible?

Tarot of the Old Path

Reading Summary: Generosity paid forward in the past (Six of Pentacles atop Six of Cauldrons) has created joy for others (Three of Cauldrons) and helped sustain them in times of melancholy (Four of Cauldrons).

Take Away: This is about my business and the joy that I create for others through the pieces that I make and spread throughout the world.  It brings me a great deal of pleasure to create beautiful jewelry and send it off to those that purchase from  me for those others to enjoy. Even though I very rarely see the results of other’s receiving these items, I take pleasure in knowing that these items are going to someone that will appreciate them, find joy in them, and that in wearing them it lifts them up and makes them feel good.  I put my intentions towards this end into each and every piece I create.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE OLD PATH

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon where I am physically over the week ahead?

A Siren's Melody TarotReading Summary: Use the creme (Nine of Wands). Ask for advice (The Hierophant). Be kind (Queen of Cups).

Take Away: Okay so this is totally going to be a TMI reading, apparently.  SO… when I was on my last hike, my fucking underwear had some weird thing going on with the seam and I’ve ended up with an abrasion/irritation rash at the crease of my inner thigh.

It’s unpleasant as hell and the advice here is to first and foremost defend against it getting worse.  That’s where the creme comes in, as well as being very picky about my boxer-briefs for the next little while.  The second advice is to seek help, and I already have an appointment with the doc later this week for other stuff (blood tests, et al) and will ask him his advice while I’m there.  The third step here is in kindness.  It’s an indication I need to treat this rash gingerly and not be impatient or neglectful concerning its care.

DECK USED:  A SIREN’S MELODY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’m staying up late to get a little extra time with Gideon tonight.

Morning Bonus Read – Would I Survive?

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Today’s bonus reading is just a  bit of fun and games. The Village Tarot Witch on Instagram tagged me in a challenge to do her spread and it looked like a lot of fun. As she did, I will list my personal pros and cons in this post, but unlike her I will do them at the end, after the cards.

Zombie Apocalypse Tarot SpreadMy Strengths for Surviving
The Stratagem (Emperor)

I am smart and clever and I have no problem putting aside my emotions in order to find the best path forward for myself and others. And when I mean best path?  I mean **the best** path forward. The safest path.  The path that will keep everyone (including myself) alive and well. I have absolutely no issue making decisions for the greater good, even if that means sometimes I’m disliked in the process. In a zombie apocalypse, the only priority more important than the greater good… is my own good.  And I’ll be damned well looking out for that too.

My Weaknesses (What’s going to get me eaten?)
The Suspended (Hanged Man)

In day to day life, my ability to pause and put myself in other’s shoes, see their perspectives as well as my own, and move forward with this knowledge is a huge asset.  In a zombie apocalypse, it would no longer be such a strength, though.  It would cause hesitation and, at times, cause moments of immobility which, in turn, could make me some zombie’s happy meal.

My Chances of Survival
Walker of Wands (Knight of Wands)

I would throw myself into the new life with gusto and make survival my passion and be proactive in finding a new life that would work.  As long as I kept in mind my own mortality and didn’t get too wrapped up in my enthusiasm in this matter, I will do well. There’s a fine line between enthusiastic pursuit of a desired outcome you’re passionate about… and reckless pursuit of an obsession. The problem would lie in making sure I balanced on the right side of that line and didn’t step over into an unhealthy perspective.

Personal (Realistic Based) Opinion On My Chances of Survival

PROS:  I’m clever.  I’m smart.  I know tons of random knowledge that would be helpful.  I’m excellent at wilderness survival and am familiar with traversing the back country. I’m adaptive and resourceful. I doubt I’d run into any emotional/psychological issues at all with taking down the infected.

CONS:   I require a minimum diet of 5000-6000 calories a day just to keep from dropping weight, which translates into a LOT of food, or I start wasting away and passing out.  Considering the extra physical activity that’s sure to come along with the proposed situation?  I’m going to need even more.

Also, my antidepressants play a key role in keeping me from constant suicidal ideation and sometimes uncontrollable suicidal urges.  I’d like to say that I could “muscle through” without them by determination alone, but I know for a fact it doesn’t work that way.

My cons far outweigh my pros, indicating that my chances of survival in this type of scenario, on the whole, are pretty slim.  BUT, that I probably won’t die by being eaten, but rather through starvation, hypoglycemic coma, or by offing myself.

DECK USED:  THE TAROT OF MANY DOORS

Anxiety Is Not Intuition

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Today’s meditation was supposed to be eighteen minutes, but only managed to get through about half of it before the phone rang and I ended up talking to Ms B for about an hour about what dialysis entails and how to talk to Mr R about it.  Hopefully it won’t be necessary, but if his next blood tests come back looking like crap, that might be the direction they’re going.

The Shimmering Veil Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, logic, and commutation with others.  This can often translate into needing to take an experienced and practical view, the need to either give to another or to receive advice from someone more experienced than yourself, and can be an indication of someone that is very logic driven.

So I’m preparing to do another trip over the border soon, and I’m having a bit of anxiety about it.  Nothing serious and, honestly? I just did it not long ago and everything went fine.  Now that I know the procedure, it should go even more smoothly the next time.

That said?  I’m still feeling those twinges and the Thera-Pets card for today is a good reminder that anxiety is not one of my intuition’s methods of communication and never has been. I need to channel the strength of the Queen of Wands and the experience I have now under my belt, and stop listening to those little twinges that are inappropriate for the situation.

DECK USED:  THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Thinking back to a time when I suffered a loss of stability in my life, did I allow myself to grow from it, or did I stagnate?

The Star Tarot

Reading Summary: Growth and betterment (Princess of Pentacles) thru gratitude (Nine of Pentacles) and finding direction (Three of Wands).

Take Away: I seem to suffer a “loss of stability” in one way or another pretty damned regularly.  It’s a part of my life path that has been consistent throughout my life and it is through gratitude for what I still have and the ability to pick a direction and keep moving and adapt that I am the man that I am today.  This is a lesson on personal growth, one that I learn again and again each time events that try to break me down come about.  The key is to keep one’s eye on moving forward and growing, improving and becoming better through the trials that are scattered upon our path.

DECK USED:  THE STAR TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I at physically at this time?

The Shimmering Veil TarotReading Summary: There is a risk of repercussions afoot (Justice), but you can seize control (Five of Swords) and soar (Ace of Swords) if you step up (Emperor).

Take Away: Yeah so um… Where I am at this time physically is at the cusp between healthy and unhealthy, hovering there on the line and able to fall either way depending upon the choices I make from this point forward. 

This is primarily about my eating habits of late and the (mostly unhealthy) foods I’ve been consuming.  If I battle my urges for these unhealthy snacks and meals and take control to seas a different path, I will recover smoothly from my unwise decisions and be able to turn things around before it goes too far.

DECK USED:  THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a break to eat instead of saying “I’ll just do this one more thing first” and putting it off.  I know this sounds like a pretty minor thing, but considering how tempting it was to play the “just one more thing” game today, I think it’s pretty significant that I managed to resist the urge.

Still Moving

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Today’s meditation was just over eighteen minutes long and it was another of the self-guided meditations using my water drops music and my newly learned mantra techniques from the Oak app.  I extended the bells in my interval timer as well to stretch my time in each position of my piriformis stretching for the longer period in meditation.  It seemed to work really well for me and although there was a lot of resistance to actually doing the meditation, once I was doing it?  It went smoothly.

The Last Unicorn Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, manifestations, home life, and health. Being of the Pentacles suit, this often translates into a slow but steady progress sustained through determination.

I find the Thera-Pets card that was paired with today’s card of the day to be extremely fitting.  Sometimes, when we’re working on getting where we want to go, it can feel like things should be moving faster.  As a result, we take this slow progress as a failure.  Or, at least, I know that there are times when I do this.

The Knight of Pentacles combined with today’s Thera-Pets card is a reminder that any progress is still progress.  Even if you have to take things in baby steps and do a tiny bit at a time.  Even if some days your energy is so low that all you do is plan instead of act. It’s still progress.  You’re still moving.  That’s what’s important.

DECK USED:  THE LAST UNICORN TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: What blessing do I need to ask from the universe right now?

Tarot Art Nouveau

 Reading Summary: More hope, more connection (The Star), and more patience for my growth (Seven of Coins). The ability to more easily be present in the moment, instead of worrying about the past or the future (Four of Cups).

There is also a secondary message here threaded through the blue in the cards that encourages sating my need to spend some alone time (Four of Cups) in nature (Seven of Pentacles), and use that time to seek out stronger connections with my spiritual path through my bond with the earth (The Star).

Take Away:  What I need to ask for from the universe is a stronger bond with feelings of hope and connection with the world around me through mindfulness and reflection while practicing patience in concern to my growth so that I will be allowed to grow at my own pace instead of the pace I think I should be moving at.

The secondary message is not so much about what I need to ask for, but an answer in how to find what I need.

DECK USED:  TAROT ART NOUVEAU

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #2
Question: My spirituality and intuition both require being more present in the moment. How can I go about making that happen?

The Last Unicorn TarotReading Summary: Take time healing your wounds from the past (Six of Cups). Don’t push yourself so hard you become overwhelmed with the process (Ten of Wands Rx) and you will be much happier as will those around you (Three of Cups).

Take Away: So many reminders lately to make sure I am practicing patience.  I know it’s about the recovery and how, because I’m feeling better lately, I’m at risk of falling into old habits of piling on so many things to do that I start the cycle of burnout and recovery all over again.  That is what is being referenced here, as well.

The cards here are indicating that by repeating this cycle I’m making more than myself miserable and I need to practice patience with myself and my healing (not just my recovery, but my slowly developing healing of events in my path).

Patience will breed mindfulness, as moving slower gives you more time to linger and smell the roses, yeah?

DECK USED:  THE LAST UNICORN TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I remembered to put on lip balm before bed, which is something I used to do pretty often but stopped sometime in the past few months for some reason. Because of allergies, I often breathe through my mouth in my sleep and without the lip balm, my lips end up cracked and chapped a result.

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Secret Tarot, Angelarium Year One and Year Two, Elemental Tarot

Earth – Six of Chalices atop Three of Wands, Zuriel – It is only through finding a balance between your experiences in the past and your plans for the future that you’ll find peace in the present.  It can often feel like the past and the future are opposing forces, one pulling away from you to the left, and one stretching out ahead into the future on the right. This perception leaves the present seemingly alone and as a result abandoned as we spend so much time touching one or the other on either side that we forget… it is mindfulness in the moment that can create the balance needed between the two. Get your ass back into meditating daily.  It is as essential as taking a leak first thing in the morning or taking your meds before you go to sleep at night, so stop skipping it.

Air – Ace of Swords atop Knave of Wands, Remiel – Pluck from the tangled pile of new ideas you have collected and find one that sparks your interest and allows you to learn something new to add to your repertoire of passions and skills. Note that this advice speaks of one… one idea.  One project.  One new thing.  Do not add many to your plate or it will be too much.  Just one.   Try exploring just this one thing for a while, allow it to flourish and have fun with it.  It has the potential to grow into something beautiful if you don’t smother by overcrowding it with too many  other things.

Water – Two of Wands, The Gate of Sahaqiel – It’s time to start focusing on connecting more strongly to your intuition.  Make sure that you are making space for spiritual pursuits and your connections therein.  Connecting to the divine is important, and sometimes that means you have to intentionally make plans for it in order to fit it in.  In the tail end of your recovery it’s especially important that you keep in mind that these things also need to be factored in or the end up left behind.

Fire – The Wheel, Knave of Chalices, Sandalphon – New beginnings are upon you right now as you find yourself in the last dregs of your depression’s recovery.  Acknowledge this new start for the opportunity it is to learn a new way of doing things moving forward and turning those things that have not worked for you around into something better. Sometimes your efforts may bite you on the ass, but we are given opportunities in order to take them and try… so don’t let this opportunity pass you by.  Use it to try something new and something better, resurrecting new life from the ashes of what you leave behind.

Waning – Cave (Protection) – Uncurl from your shell and stretch.  The time to hide yourself beneath the shell that protects you from the harm others can create when you are vulnerable is at an end.  You are close enough to the surface now to safely stretch your arms wide and greet the world on your own terms once more.

Waxing – North (Expansion) – Be true to yourself and the moral compass you know so well.  Be brave and be strong as you continue along your path and remember that it is not a single lesson we learn in life, but rather many over the course of our time.  Now is a time to explore and stretch your wings after so much time cramped in the dark.

Take Away – My recovery from depression is sliding into its last phase before solid ground is once more beneath my feet.  Now is a time to stretch and take in the sunlight and fresh air.  Pick a project that inspires and explore its potential, but be sure not to overwhelm myself with too much focus on the past or the future.  Put more focus into making sure I’m meditating each day and consciously taking the time and effort to stay connected to my spiritual path as I begin to “awaken” from the dark pit’s hold upon me.

DECKS USED:  SECRET TAROT, ANGELARIUM CARDS YEAR ONE AND YEAR TWO, ELEMENTAL ORACLE

Keep Going

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IMG_9948Today’s meditation was a little different than the norm because I didn’t use a timer at all, nor a guide.  I think the meditation was about a half hour long, but I’m not entirely sure. Instead of using these things, I chose to simply lay quietly and take time to breathe and listen to the world going about it’s business beyond my windows and walls. I did some small stretching, but nothing major, it was more just about being quiet and not allowing my brain to go through its normal constant litany of what needs done and what not to forget before I manage to write it all down.

Waterfall Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of leaving behind (and/or escaping) unhealthy or untenable situations for something better. Where the Eight of Cups is a decision based on an emotional reaction, in the Six of Swords the leaving is about practicality, and is rational and planned.

With how many changes have been going on in my life lately, from the climb out of depression’s pit to the shifts in my business due to the pandemic’s ever changing requirements, the Six of Swords is a fitting card.

Changes bring with them a sense of instability and uncertainty more often than not, and I’ve felt a good deal of that over the past few weeks as I adjusted (yet again) to the changes and adjustments that needed to be made for my business, and continued my climb out of the dark of depression into the light.   I am still climbing, but I can feel the improvement with each day that passes.  That improvement is still in baby steps, but those steps are perceptible now.

The combination of the Six of Swords with today’s Thera-Pets card is a reassurance that it is going to work out.  I’m headed in the right direction, I’m doing everything I can to move things forward and keep them going in the right direction.

Keep doing what you’re doing to keep things moving in a healthy direction and everything’s going to work out just fine.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: Today I plant my seeds of growth knowing that…

Very Little Tarot

Reading Summary: …moving forward with your emotional growth (Page of Cups) has the potential to be a harrowing experience (Nine of Swords). But keep in mind that it’s something you really want to do (Ace of Wands), even if you have to stumble a bit along the way (The Fool) and feel like you’re fucking up now and then (Five of Coins).

Take Away:  There are times when trying to learn about and learn how to handle my own emotions makes me feel like a fucking idiot. It’s often a struggle and can be really disheartening, it can also lead to a bit of anxiety now and then when I can’t find the words to express an emotion I’ve yet to actually put a name to. During these times of struggle, I need to remember that the emotional growth I’m seeking is something I want… very much.  More than enough to deal with the discomfort of growing pains along the way.

DECK USED:  VERY LITTLE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Waterfall TarotReading Summary: Don’t get distracted (Three of Cups Rx) or allow yourself to become stagnant (Death Rx). Keep your eye on the prize and stay focused.  You’re not out of the woods yet, but you’re getting there (Page of Swords).

Take Away: My depression has been the focus of my readings for some time and goddamn if it doesn’t feel like beating a dead horse some times. But… It’s not done yet.  I’m still climbing.  I’m still seeking level ground and it’s going to take a bit longer to get there. The cards here indicate I need to make sure I stay focused on that goal and not allow distractions to turn into stagnancy that will hold me back or cause regression.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I allowed myself to do things at my own pace today instead of pushing my ass to get going at a faster speed. I noticed this because I did feel the urge to push, but consciously made the choice to pause and breathe, then keep on at that slower and more relaxed pace.