Patience, Not Pushing

I’ve managed to fall behind yet again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 26th or not.  I don’t think that I did, but I did manage to soak in the tub for a bit. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Traditional Manga Tarot - JusticeToday’s draw is the Justice card, which is traditionally about checks and balances.  It’s the fact that there will always be a repercussion or consequence to any action taken. Sometimes the consequences involve the law, sometimes it’s about karmic backlash from previous incarnations.  Sometimes, it’s just the nature of of cause and effect.

What stands out to me in this card’s imagery today is how calm and self contained she is.  Her posture perfect, her elbows in against her sides, ankles crossed and knees pressed. She sits silent and still, but she is not blindfolded like lady justice but rather watches quietly from that place of stillness.

The message here is about patience and being watchful.  Sometimes the smartest option is to step back and wait, watch… and listen. Sometimes the only way to get what you want is through patience instead pushing.


LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Saturn Question
: What {personal} limitations am I asked to accept and be more understanding of?

The Sabbath Tarot

Reading Summary: Things can’t be rainbow and sunshine (The Sun) all the time.  There are going to be times when you feel like you’re floundering and feeling hopeless (Five of Coins).  Just remember that it is through embracing yourself and fostering hope that you are able to pull yourself out of the depths (The High Priest).

Take Away:  The cards here are reminding me that it’s okay to feel down sometimes when things are going awry.  It’s okay to have bad emotions.  Don’t forget in your effort to find a more positive inner narrative and optimistic outlook that you don’t have to force it all the time.

It’s healthy to feel discouraged now and then as long as you rise above the temptation to tear into yourself about it.


#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my family relations.

Witches Wisdom TarotReading Summary: In the dead of winter (Ten of Air) broils the brightest fire (Ace of Fire). Be ready to guide the way when the time comes (Guardian)

Take Away: It looks like L or Z (or possibly both) may be coming up with a brilliant idea sometime in the next month or two and is going to need some support to make it come to life.

The message here is to make sure that I am supporting the inspiration and passion of that idea rather than dousing it or leaving her to her own devices.  By supporting the idea and helping it in getting off the ground, I in turn am able to help protect it (and her/them) from failure.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does it mean to speak my truth?

Scorpio Sea Tarot

Reading Summary:  Growth forward into the future (Two of Wands) from passionate pursuits (Queen of Wands) into a seat of experience and knowledge (Queen of Swords).

Take Away:  In speaking my truth, it means that I am able to take my experiences and carry them forward to help others with their own.  By having had my own experiences and learned from them, I can then take that experience forward and share my knowledge with others. In doing this, in sharing this with others, I am then able to speak my truth and allow it to help others in finding theirs.


Positive Memories

I’ve managed to fall behind yet again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 24th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Six of CupsToday’s draw is the Six of Cups, which traditionally is a representation of the emotions that circle around topics of nostalgia and looking back into the past and embracing the joy and innocence that often comes with childhood memories and remembering past relationships.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is how much gold there is in the picture.  A golden glow seems to enshroud the entire scene, casting it alight in warm hues.

The message her is a reminder to keep your attention focused on the positive when you take a wander down memory lane.  Don’t allow yourself to stray off the path into the dark woods, but rather stay in that golden glow of warmth and positivity.


#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my personal growth.

Edmund Dulac TarotReading Summary:  You’re going to pay for it (Justice) if you don’t allow yourself some rest (Four of Coins) and keep striving for a positive perspective during this busy time (The Star).  It won’t last forever (Eight of Cups).

Take Away: The holiday rush is a really difficult time for me on a number of different levels.  The reminder here that it doesn’t last forever is a good one, but doesn’t excuse not getting enough rest or allowing yourself to fall into those darker negative inner dialogues that can often drag you down.  Personal upkeep, but on a physical level and an emotional one are no less important now than any other time of year, just harder to fit in for a brief amount of time.


Positive Transformations

IMG_7893Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The thing is, though?  I have no idea what the guided part of the meditation was about.

I mean, I was listening I think… and part of the reason I save the little graphics that come with my meditation is so that it can prompt my memory of the guided topic.   And yet…. even the graphic doesn’t prompt up a memory of the meditation’s topic really.  Not even a vague memory remains.  Maybe I was deeper into my meditation than I thought?

I suppose that the important part is that I actually did the meditation at all, though.  Which I did.  So… yeah.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of WandsToday’s draw is the Ace of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s drive, inspiration, motivation, and inner spark.  This often translates into themes that have to do with new passion projects, sparks of curiosity, and things that strike your interest and kindle an inspired passion within you.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the dress that the woman wears in the image.  She looks like she’s draped in malachite and surrounded in crazy lace agate.

Malachite holds within it the energy of transformation to ease struggles and foster insight.  Crazy lace agate is a stone used to foster and flourish joy in one’s life. This feels like a good omen, and I’m going to take it as such.

The message here today is to continue to transform those negative inner dialogues into positivity and optimism.


#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2
Question: I am struggling with incorporating self care into my day. What advice do I need to hear right now that will help me with this struggle over the next few weeks?

Dark Wood TarotReading Summary: Have patience (Temperance), because change takes time (Death). And it can hurt (white is you, red is change) so be prepared for that.

There are connections here in the colors that reinforce the message at hand.  In the Death card, the staff that death holds relates to the hair of the woman in the Five of Swords, and the gown the angel wears relates to the dress of the caught woman in the Five of Swords.

Connecting the figures in the imagery in this way,  you can see that the red haired woman (connected through color to Death/Change) is inflicting pain upon the caught woman in the Five of Swords card (who is reflected in the angel in the Death card drained of color).

Take Away: These cards are a reminder that it’s okay to miss self care now and then, because the effort to find balance after the changes made in my life (both by me in my effort to find better balance, and by the holiday rush) are going to cause a bit of imbalance and that imbalance naturally involves dropping the ball now and then.  And honestly?  Better to drop the ball just a bit on self care than on the business you’re trying to run during the holiday rush.  Thus…. it’s gonna hurt a bit because growing pains suck.  Instead of being hard on yourself, be kind and forgiving in those moments you slip up.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When have I felt emotionally rich?

Golden Tarot by Kat Black

Reading Summary: This summer when I was resting (Four of Swords) after having experienced burnout (Ten of Wands), and was spending time ignoring much of the stressful crap (Eight of Swords).

Take Away:  The cards here are referring to the time off that I allowed myself each month over the summer. I’ve never really taken time off before, not even when going to my mother’s or out east.  I mean… yeah, I did… but not really.   What I found from that time is that when I’m able to step away from my responsibilities for a few days and breath, I find myself not just rejuvenated inside and out, but when I’m able to step away from the guilt of not working I’m also then able to focus on other things I enjoy as well…. and that I really like that.


Chocolate Cake

Today’s meditation was skipped because nobody would leave me the hell alone this morning.  I swear to god some days the girls are so totally self sufficient, and then other days?  Every five seconds they’re in my hair bugging the fuck out of me.  Although… Z did make chocolate cake this morning.  So she’s forgiven.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Nine of CupsSpeaking of chocolate cake…

Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is about obtainment and completion in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.  This card is about emotional contentment, and taking time to be grateful and enjoy a sense of satisfaction in where you are at.

On Wednesday, I did a reading about whether I live to eat or eat to live, and here we have a card that is, in its depths, very much a “live to eat” card at its core.  It’s about enjoying what you have, finding pleasure and peace in the moment… and the imagery very much makes me think of eating cake.

The message in today’s card is to savor the good stuff.  Don’t let those things and experiences go to waste.


LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Neptune Question
: A dream, hope, or desire I am asked to feed, or honor {more}.

Ring Cycle Tarot

A Dream I Am Asked To FeedEmperor (Wotan) – Independence and strength, but with the balance of a softer and more understanding edge. Independence has always been my dream, and one I feed regularly, but that softer edge is new and something I have been working on over this past year.  Learning to find that softness and encourage it is something that needs constant fostering.

A Hope I Am Asked To FeedTwo of Nibelungs – Working off my mortgage is something I’ve been focused on for a very long time and I have a timeline on that I’ve been hoping to stick to.  I’m creeping toward the end stretch of my mortgage over the next few years and I need to keep this hope alive by feeding it and not giving up on it regardless of the state of the world.

A Desire I Am Asked To FeedTwo of Gibichungs – Balance and fairness in all things is something that I am constantly in need of.  When things are unfair and imbalanced, I struggle under the weight of this knowledge and a nearly righteous need to fix it and make it better. No matter how much some may look down upon this need, it is not a bad thing and is a directive that comes straight from my moral compass. Don’t be shy about these values.

A Dream I Am Asked To HonorSix of Gibichungs – This card echos the above theme of fairness, but here we see a need to foster it not just one individual case at a time but within a community where all understand and treasure the fairness that is fostered and grows there.  There have been many times that my personal need for fairness is all about a personal drive, in this case I am asked to honor the dream within myself that such fairness would be valued by all and that everyone would work together to sustain it.

A Hope I Am Asked To HonorJustice (Wotan’s Spear) – We reap what we sow, and in my heart?  I hope that this is true.  I hope that, through the workings of the balance of the universe, the truly horrible and evil people in the world really do reap the pain and misery that they have sown. If not in this life, than upon their spirit to be carried forward into the next.  To honor this hope, it is important to remember that you don’t always have to right the wrongs yourself… you instead need to foster the faith that the universe will do that for you.

A Desire I Am Asked To HonorNine of Nibelungs – I desire to trust.  I look back on the innocence and naivete that I had a decade or more ago… and sometimes I ache for that gleaming golden faith that has been scored and chipped and peeled away over time.  I used to have such faith in people as a whole… and I miss it. I understand I cannot go back, but I hope to never lose the memory of that time and, as a result, become truly and irretrievably jaded.


#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my love life.

Ride or Wait TarotReading Summary: Lean on Gideon as needed (King of Cups) and depend on him to keep hope and positivity alive (The Star) rather than retreating into yourself or hiding from him (Four of Cups Rx).

Take Away: It’s so damned hard for me to reach out sometimes and I really don’t understand why.  It’s not as if he’s going to look down on me for needing him.  If anything, any time I express my need of him, he is ready to leap into action and be there for me with eagerness, love, and strength.  

And yet, my first reaction when I need support or a pick-me-up?  Is to sink into myself rather than reach out to him… even after being together over twelve years now.   Why is that?

Obviously, this is a good reminder… and one I need to hear pretty often, especially in times of stress.


Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
: What or who in my life is draining my energy?

Oak Ash & Thorn Tarot

What in my life is draining my energy?
Page of Swords atop Nine of Swords, Six of Pentacles

My ambition and worries that I’m not doing enough. This has been especially troubling for me this fall, as I have procrastinated a good deal of the fall away without getting my shit done as I should have.  For some reason, even fighting against the lethargy of the weight of that procrastination, I couldn’t manage to get my ass in gear.

Who in my life is draining my energy?
Extra Card (In the Weeds) and Queen of Pentacles

Those that are dependent on me are draining my energy at the moment, although through no fault of their own, but rather because I’m not getting away enough for some alone time in nature. Self care is sometimes such a fucking pain in the ass and it feels like a waste of time… and then I don’t do it and end up in a situation of self harm through neglect as a result.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How have I acted on that advice given to me from yesterday’s reading?

Puppet Theatre Tarot

Reading Summary:  Developed strength of determination (King of Wands) combined with a built up strength of foundation in home and finances (King of Pentacles) allows me to then use these things I’ve learned to better assist others than I could have otherwise (Six of Cups)

Take Away: Yesterday’s advice was about looking after myself before others, and thus by putting myself first.  Here we see that in having helped myself first and become strong both in my determination and my foundations, I then am able to help others in more effective ways later.  Sometimes those you refused to help earlier in life aren’t able to forgive that refusal, and you have to allow for those “spilled milk” people and let go of them so that you can use your resources to instead help those that are open to your assistance in the ways you chose to help.