Give Yourself Credit

Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretching and forearm flexor stretching.

The focus of today’s meditation was about anxiety and worry, and how sometimes we get so wrapped up in the habit of worrying about things that we forget to look at how unlikely those things we’re worried about are to actually happening.  We lose sight of realism, and lean into projected thoughts which, when we’re worrying about something, can then lead to self fulfilling prophesy.

Better is to have a touch of self awareness so that when you start stewing over something and worrying at it, that you can look at what you’re worried about realistically and give yourself a sort of “reality check” on the likelihood of those worries actually coming to fruition.

The Darlings Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s home life, finances, resources, health, manifestations, and the physical world.  This often translates into themes that have to do with nurturing and supportive energies that are strongly grounded and based in strength and purpose.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the sheer amount of abundance represented here.  The oversized coin.  The plethora of roses and leaves and greenery. The many, many pears piled up around the base of the queen’s throne.   Even the queen with her long hair and long ears, and yards and yards of dress.  She is blessed and willing to share… all you need to do is ask.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today is a reminder that you have more to offer than you think you do.  Sometimes we all get down on ourselves. We take for granted what we have to offer to others, or what we give to others.  What seems like a small thing to us, or “nothing” to us, could be huge to someone else.  Even things such as smiles, five minutes of your time, an offered pen when there isn’t one handy… these things can change someone else’s entire day for the better.  So don’t discount what you have to offer the world, and don’t be down on yourself for not offering more.

DECK USED:  THE DARLINGS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Reap & Sow Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best work with the energies available to me this month?

Reading Summary: You’re going to have to pick and choose (Seven of Cups) what you go after (The Seeker), and set the rest aside (Five of Cups).

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question:
Tools available to me this month from my “tool box”.

Lua TarotReading Summary: Enthusiasm and alacrity (Eight of Wands) especially when your loved ones and “comfort zone” are involved in the mix (Ten of Cups).  Hope and your spiritual connection to the elements (The Star).

Take Away:  So, I combined two different challenges together for this reading as I felt that they fit really well. 

The message here is that during the month of May, I am being given the opportunity to hone down on my path and the direction I want to take things, but it will require letting go of a few things in order to make room for those things I want to go after to grow and flourish.

In order to do this, it will help to remember to focus on those things that create an element of enthusiasm for me and that I am drawn to due to the emotional comfort and security they bring. My deep connection to my spirituality and the elements, as well as my efforts and commitment to foster hope and positivity in my life will help in making these decisions as well.

DECK USED:  LUA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What in life lights fire to your creative spark?

The Darlings TarotReading Summary: Healthy alone time (The Hermit). Gratitude (Nine of Pentacles). Getting worked up to the point where I say “Fuck it, I’ll do it my own damned way” (Eight of Cups).

Take Away: Alone time that allows me to connect with myself and with nature.  Time spent among the trees on my own, allowing me to really tap into the forest and, while doing so, give myself space and time to tap into myself. Forest bathing allows me this time and connection as nothing else can and I always come back from these times in nature feeling refreshed and ready to create.

Taking time to really tap into what I value in my life and my accomplishments also lights the fire of my creative spark.  It reminds me of what I’m capable of, what I’ve managed to accomplish, and what potential I have to move forward and do more. It reminds me of the opportunities that have been given to me, that I’ve earned along the way, and that are waiting for me in the future.  This view of what I’m grateful for and future potential is inspiring.

Sometimes?  It’s all about opposition.  Not in the way of fighting with others or obstacles in my way, but rather the frustration of seeing things done a different way, a more difficult way, or being told “this is the only way”.  In these moments I can often become oppositional and my creative spark flares as I seek out a better way that will fit me and my methods more comfortably.

DECK USED:  THE DARLINGS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a nap!  I didn’t want to take a nap, but I did.  And I feel much better for having done so.

Social Faux Pas Worries

Today’s meditation was thirty eight minutes long, and was a bit different than the norm. foxi ☾, who is one of our members (also moderator) on the Tarotholics Discord server has started doing occasional guided meditations on the server and he did the first one the other day. They were kind enough to record it so that those that couldn’t attend when it was going live could listen back later.

There was nothing in the meditation that created a negative reaction with my synesthesia and I found their voice very relaxing.  There were a couple of things that didn’t really match with my beliefs (like the mention of “the creator”), but it was easy enough to change those moments into something in my mind that did match such as “the energy of creation” and, all in all?  It was a terrific meditation.  The best I’ve done in quite some time.

The Gentle Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unity, attraction, and harmonious partnerships.  It is not just about romantic love, but about finding that mutual connection with others…. that thing that makes two people just “click” and be on the same wavelength.

In my life, I often feel a weird sort of negative anticipation when it comes to working with and interacting with others. Almost trepidation, which keeps me careful and watchful of what I say and how I say it long after most around me have transitioned to being comfortable.

It’s like…. I worry continuously that I will misstep, say the wrong thing, insult or anger them, etc.  This is from my upbringing, and never being able to say anything right.  It has been reinforced by some pretty epic fall-outs of friendships over the years.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message here is a reminder that some of the lessons that we carry with us can create struggles in our present lives, and that those struggles can often influence or affect others.  It’s a reminder that it’s important not to get too down on yourself for these struggles and setbacks.  We’re all doing the best we can to relate to and connect with one another.  Sometimes it works… sometimes, sadly, things go wrong. It doesn’t mean you should give up.  Not on connecting with others, not in yourself, and not in others either.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question:
Beltane – The Seed, The Work, The Bloom

Forest Creatures Tarot 2nd Edition

Reading Summary: You push to do better (The Seed – Six of Wands) because you care about others in your life and want to create a safe, stable, and secure home (The Work – Ten of Coins). But it’s never going to be enough (The Bloom – Five of Cups).

Take Away: You can only depend on yourself to judge what is “good enough”.  If you wait for others to tell you what’s good enough, you’ll work yourself to the bone and never get the okay, or you’ll constantly be cutting your potential short because other’s standards don’t coincide with your own.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT 2ND EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Do the Beltane Spread

The Gentle TarotDandelion : How can I use my inner strength to help me in healing old wounds?

The Hierophant – Own the lessons learned from these old experiences and carry them forward to help others. In sharing your experiences and lessons you’ve learned with others, you heal yourself in the process.

Bee : Where could I put in more effort to help my community?

The Chariot – Give what you can and don’t worry about the rest.  It’s not all up to you.  You can offer without taking on responsibility, and that would be the best and healthiest way for you to provide more to the community.

Garnet : What do I need in order to foster a greater sense of self-empowerment?

Two of Thunder – A stronger sense of decisiveness.  Sometimes it can be hard to weigh choices and make a decision.  Sometimes, I have a habit of standing back to watch and wait a bit instead of deciding right away.  To foster self-empowerment, working on less “waiting” time and a bit more immediacy to my decision making process could help.

Swallow : Where do I need to more openly display my love and loyalty to others?

Flower of Thunder – My mother.  I need to find a  way to connect with my mother that does not result in us clashing all the time.  It always seems that we end up at odds, and as much as I want to build some sort of relationship with her, it’s something that I’ve struggled with for years.

Malachite : How can I better use intention to bolster the abundance in my life moving forward?

Judgement – I need to make sure that I am focusing on where I want my life to go and what I really want to do with it.  This isn’t about careers, but about the man that I want to be and the people I want to surround myself with.  I will then be able to bolster the abundance in my life by the simple act of keeping my focus upon these things.

Goat : How can I best overcome obstacles before me at this time?

Three of Cups – Reach out to those that are nearest and dearest and allow them to not just help me out, but bring a sense of fun and celebration into the process. Obstacles just don’t seem as tall and imposing when you’re smiling and laughing, and you need them to help give you that lift.

Primrose : How can I add more of the exuberance of young love to my life?

The Emperor – Claim it.  Acknowledge it.  It’s already mine.  The relationship that I have with Gideon may be coming on 13 years long now, but it also often feels like it’s still shiny and brand new.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I deleted a handful of posts that I’d fallen behind on here on the blog instead of trying to play “catch up”.   I hate it when I have to do that, but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and a good deal of weight is lifted off my shoulders when I let go of the “catch up” and just start from now.