#themarchtarot

Don’t Be A Doormat

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_9871Today’s meditation was just over twenty two minutes long and was the last segment of the mantra meditation series in the Oak app.  I’ve discovered that while ten minutes is just a bit too short for me to really sink into my meditation, twenty two minutes is just a bit too long.  It isn’t that I get restless so much as just around the twenty minute mark my mind seems decide it’s time to wander into daydream type “dozing off” musings.  You know, the kind that you slide into just before falling asleep?  Yeah, those.

Tarot of the Old Path and Thera-Pets Emotional Support CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s home life, finances, resources, health, or manifestations.  This often translates into highly responsible individuals with a nurturing nature, themes to do with providing for others while listening to their needs, and being practical minded.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is that the Queen looks tired. Wrung out. She’s put herself out there and done what she can for others and now she needs a minute to rest and take a breath, refortify before moving forward.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a message about pacing yourself. The more you allow people to depend on you instead of doing for themselves? The more they will lean on you to give even more of yourself.  It’s important to “teach the man to fish” for himself rather than just doing everything yourself and wearing yourself out.  Self care is important, and a part of self care is making sure you are not being taken advantage of by those that are either too lazy,  or to convinced of their own inadequacies, to do for themselves.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE OLD PATH AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: In what area am I asked to plant my seeds of growth this month?

Tattoed Tarot

Reading Summary: Work on connecting with your spirituality and feelings of hope (The Stars), allow them to strengthen you and lift you up (Strength), and don’t allow your enthusiasm for exploration distract you from this (Knave of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  Confession.  As I feel better and recover from the depression, and as my enthusiasm reawakens within me, I have a habit of overfilling “my plate” with too many projects and responsibilities.  A part of that is because I feel better and I want to dive in and explore new things, as well as rediscover old favorites that while I was depressed I had lost my enthusiasm for.

The cards here are a reminder that over this month while I am in recovery and finding my balance, I need to focus on setting to right my balance itself and my connections with my spirituality and inner strength instead of letting that awakening enthusiasm distract me in another direction.

DECK USED:  TATTOED TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Are there limits to human creativity?

Tarot of the Old PathReading Summary: Creating boundaries is important (Seven of Rods) in finding the right life path (The Wise One) and our opportunities for growth (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away: The only limits are those that we put upon ourselves.  That is not to say that we should not put limits upon ourselves, though, but rather that each individual needs to wisely make the best choices for their own self-actualization and growth.

These boundaries and choices we make may limit us in certain ways, but this is so that we can direct that energy into other areas we deem to be more important.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE OLD PATH

Daily Self Kindness

I went for a waterfall hike and had a great time enjoying myself among the mossy branches and nurse logs.

A New Day… Starting Now

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_9836Today’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and was the ninth installment of the Mantra Meditation course that is being offered on the Oak app.

The meditation included the longest silent time so far and it was really nice right up until the last three minutes when L decided she HAD to interrupt, didn’t like my answer on where the thing was she was looking for, and immediately snarked at me in a very bitchy manner which immediately turned my own calm into an inner snarl of irritation.

So yeah.  That sucked.

Bumbleberry Hollows Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardaToday’s draw is the Knight of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s intellect, aspirations, thoughts, and communication.

I really like these two cards together and the message was so clear that it felt like there was no missing it, especially considering my experience with my sister this morning at the end of my meditation.

What these two cards today say to me is, “Go hack the shit out of this fish and get it all out, then take a deep breath and step forward into the next moment, where you can start anew.”

Why, after all, does it have to be that each day is a new day?  Why wait until tomorrow.  Why not start now, or in a few minutes, or in an hour?

Get out what’s frustrating you, get out those emotions that are dragging you down or irritating you or frustrating you.  Work them out, through exercise or some other way. Expel them through blood or sweat or tears… or all three.

Then take a breath, and move on.  Start again, and make the next time better than than the last.

DECK USED:  BUMBLEBERRY HOLLOWS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Thinking back to a time when I passed judgement on someone else, how was that really about me?

Baby Tarot

Reading Summary: I’ve known a few people in life that have sticky fingers and seemed to see stealing not as a crime or something wrong, but justified in one way or another (Seven of Swords).  I’ve watched them as they have done things like steal from others or shoplift, then just move on if everything is perfect and they’ve done nothing wrong (facial expression in The World). In my case, such an act would cause worries, anxieties, and nightmares (Nine of Swords) and I’ve always wondered how others were able to do this type of behavior and not suffer the same.

Take Away:  My moral compass and ethics are very uniquely my own and no one else’s.   I understand this just as well as I understand that there are things I see no wrong in that others might consider morally corrupt, and things others see nothing wrong in that I personally view as morally corrupt. Sometimes it can be difficult to keep this in mind, though, when you see someone do something that is so far outside the realm of “okay” in your own moral compass and ethics that it seems like something that ‘should’ be universal… but isn’t.

DECK USED:  BABY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best improve in the area of my greatest weakness?

Bumbleberry Hollows TarotReading Summary: Walk away from (Eight of Cups) impulsivity and distraction (Knight of Wands) and focus on your emotional growth (Ace of Cups).

Take Away: I need to focus upon  my emotional growth and developing my emotional intelligence instead of allowing this, that, and the other to distract me away from this pursuit.

My business, in particular, offers me a great many distractions that speak to my interests and passions, but if I allow myself to get too wrapped up in too many of them, then everything else goes out the window including my self care and seeking that growth that I’ve been working on getting in touch with and fostering for more than a year now.

DECK USED:  BUMBLEBERRY HOLLOWS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’ve prepped my day pack to head out for a hike tomorrow.

Emotional Balance

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  Yes… I know that last weekend’s Self Care Saturday specifically encouraged me to pick things up in this area, but there was just so much annoying shit going on and I couldn’t settle and do it.  I might do a short one before bed, though.

Otto Schmidt Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, creativity, intuition, and relationships. Among other things, this often translates into themes that have to do with compassion and emotional support.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is equally the swan, and that the look on the queens face looks very… clever.

These aspects remind me of the literary roleplay that Gideon and I used to do based on the Anita Blake series where we played were-swans and had a cove.  There was a particular player in the realm that wanted to come in as the queen of the swans, but we were concerned because she had a tendency to become overly emotional and allow it to screw with her roleplay as well as bleed over into screwing with other’s play and emotions.

The message here is that sometimes even those in charge have moments where their emotions are in control.  At times, this can be good and create a calm and comfortable, almost serene environment.  But only if there are checks and balances in place to make sure when emotions run  high things don’t get out of control.

When my own emotions run high?  I struggle a lot.  Today’s card, combined with the Thera-Pets card for the day, is a reminder that having an emotional moment (or hour… or day… or week) is not the end of the world.  At these times, find what anchors you (that foot the queen in the card still has on the ground) and use it to find your balance once more.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: When do I make others feel guilty, manipulated, or pressured into doing what I want them to?

Harmony Tarot

Guilty: When I am feeling discontentment in a relationship and the need is arising to re-establish or re-evaluate boundaries.  This card indicates that during these moments, I may feel tempted to use guilt to snap the other person to attention and  get things moving and the restructuring started. (Four of Summer)

Manipulated:  Times when I feel the temptation to use manipulation on others or make them feel as if I am are when I am trying to motivate people out of their moments of stagnancy and into a place of inspired movement, often by speaking to them and using what is important to them to drag them out of that stall and into action. (Dusk atop Knight of Spring)

Pressured:  When I am feeling pressure and the strain of upheaval, there are times when I can unintentionally spread that pressure and strain to others either through the projection of my energy, or through how I interact with them or the things I say. (Two of Winter)

DECK USED:  HARMONY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my greatest weakness?

Otto Schmidt TarotReading Summary:  The Tower and the Two of Wands are connected through color scheme and through the contrast of the Empress between them.  This speaks to me of bypassing the energy and themes of the Empress in times of chaos and trouble (The Tower).  Instead of focusing on self care and nurturing energy (The Empress), I focus on finding a way to move past the chaos as soon as possible (Two of Wands) even if it is at my own detriment to do so.

Take Away:  Distancing myself from chaos is a habit that has worked for me in many ways.  The problem comes when you have to run over hot coals just to add that distance and get away from that chaos.  Then, is it better to linger in the chaos and destruction?  Or is it better to run over the hot coals?

The cards here indicate that there are times when it’s better to linger in the chaos, allow the destruction to happen around you, and focus instead upon your own self care and nurturing yourself and those around you rather than seeking out the fastest escape plan.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I specifically and consciously chose to not reach out to someone in need of mental health support because I knew that I was personally not in a place in my own mental health where it would be healthy for me to do so.  Putting myself first in this manner is extremely difficult for me.

It Will Pass

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_9804Today’s meditation was a bit different than normal because I felt like a change.  Instead of doing the next installment of the mantra meditation from the Oak app, I did an eighteen minute meditation using the water drops music that I enjoy and just allowing myself to drift.

While doing the meditation, I used the writing on the graphic to the right to give myself a bit of focus, allowing each drop of water to be a punctuation point on the saying and draw the words a bit deeper and deeper.

Not So Mystical Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of dissatisfaction, pessimism, and the tendency to only see failure and discouragement instead of looking at the positive side of things.

What I see in the image here goes along those lines, in that what I see here is frustration caused by seeing only the struggle and trials of a situation instead of what within that situation is still salvageable.

I’ve had a long few days trying to get myself together after confronting my anxiety over the border thing and playing catch up.  The whole stress and distraction sort of took over my life for a couple of days and now I feel like I’ve fallen behind on so much. Not just blog posts, but eating healthy and taking my vitamins, a large variety of things sort of “fell off the rails” for a few days.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message in today’s card is that even when things feel like they’re falling apart, there’s still some good in the situation somewhere.  Take a breath and remember that this moment isn’t the end of the world, it’s just a moment of frustration and struggle.  It will pass, and you’ll still be standing at the end of it all.

DECK USED:  NOT SO MYSTICAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What does The Universe want me to create for myself right now?

Cat-Rot Tarot 2020 Edition

 Reading Summary: Stop forcing yourself to work so damned hard (Eight of Pentacles) and create balance (Justice) by creating more happy memories with L and Z (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Introducing balance through being kind to myself is so hard for me, but that is essentially what is being requested of me here. I need to spend more time with Z and L.  Time that isn’t saturated in work and the business, but is about just enjoying each other’s company.  The cards here indicating that by neglecting these opportunities by focusing too much on work, I am missing out on something healing and balancing.

DECK USED:  CAT-ROT TAROT 2020 EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Not So Mystical TarotWhat do I need to let go of to ease my mind?

Seven of Pentacles – Stop worrying so much about how long things are going to take and just allow them to develop at their own pace.  Impatience is not going to work at making things move any faster.

What do I need to let go of to lighten my heart?

Six of Wands – Remember not to concern yourself too much about other’s expectations.  It’s not their judgements that matter, it’s your own.  If you focus on making yourself happy, they’ll be happy, because you’re your harshest judge and will exceed other’s expectations just to meet those you hold for yourself anyway.

What do I need to let go of to free my creative spark?

The Empress – Ground more and be kinder to yourself. Stop putting off the self care needs that you should be focusing on and doing.  Ignoring your needs and self care will hold you back from a full recovery as you climb, slowing you down and causing you to spend less time without the enthusiasm that feeds your creative spark.

DECK USED:  NOT SO MYSTICAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I spent nearly the whole day playing with Gideon today and it was… so fucking amazing.

A Glimmer of Imagination

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I fell asleep and took a nap instead.  Not that I meant to, but that’s what ended up happening.

Tarot Art Nouveau and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s intellect, logic, thought, and communication. This can often present in themes that have to do with new ideas, new was of communicating with others, new educational pursuits, etc.

In the imagery here, a man falls from the sky as the night looks on and watches him fall.  Wind swirls wildly about and perhaps it will pick the man that falls up and toss him around like a kite, giving him a chance to fly instead of plummet to the earth.

Sometimes new ideas need a bit of imagination mixed in to make them just right, and that’s the message I get from the imagery in this card today. Combined with the Thera-Pets card, this is a reminder that although I may not be feeling particularly imaginative or inventive at the moment, just a little glimmer of imagination showing through now and then is enough.  It’s still progress out of the pit… and even the smallest progress will keep me from becoming stagnant in my recovery.

DECK USED:  TAROT ART NOUVEAU AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Thinking back to times when I had a good thing but self-sabotaged, what kept me from embracing & enjoying these times?

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery

Reading Summary: Thinking that I can handle (Hermes – The Magician) much more than I can, and ending up juggling (Two of Pentacles) too much, then having to cut back when things get out of hand (Eight of Wands).

Take Away:  This is about my tendency to overfill my plate with responsibilities, when I am feeling good and in control.  Then something happens that leaves me having to cut back on things, drop the ball on others, etc. This tendency creates a cycle of self sabotage where I end up with a crapload of things unfinished and piling up in the background, or abandoned entirely.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SEVENFOLD MYSTERY

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me unique?

Tarot Art NouveauReading Summary: Taking my mothers influence (Three of Swords) and the qualities that I share with her (Queen of Swords Rx), and turning into into something positive (Nine of Pentacles).

Take Away: I would say that this is not the only thing that makes me unique, but rather is one of a variety of different things.   The thing is though, that this specific example does outline a quality of independence that I have always possessed.

I do things my way and make them work for me, and turn them into something positive that I can look back on and be grateful for.  I do this again and again, using my disappointment in my mother to take the qualities I share with her and turn them into something better.

DECK USED:  TAROT ART NOUVEAU

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How am I blocking my intuition?

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery

Reading Summary: You spend too much time worrying about becoming your mother, and not enough time spent grounding.

Take Away:  This is funny because the cards also mentioned this exact topic above in the previous reading. It’s about spending too much time focusing on uncertainty and instability, though.  It’s about making sure that I focus on making sure my own life is stable and secure instead of worrying about what has been left behind. That energy could be placed elsewhere to better use.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SEVENFOLD MYSTERY

Daily Self Kindness

I napped.  Okay so I nap a few times a week but this was a really good nap. And earlier than normal, so I also got to spend extra time with Gideon as well.

An Essential Presence

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IMG_9703Today’s meditation was just over nineteen minutes long and was the next installment of the Meditation Mantra course being offered on the Oak app. The meditation began today with a bit of visualization first to help in times when getting into meditation can be a bit of a struggle.  I didn’t really enjoy the visualization part all that much, but I did find the rest of the meditation very relaxing and it continues to appear that the longer meditations I’ve been doing over the past week are something  respond better to.

Gregory Scott Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Pentacles, which is about moving beyond being content and satisfied in the area of one’s finances, manifestations, and physical world and moving on to sharing that good fortune with those closest to you so that it becomes something all can relish in and enjoy.

The family portrait aspect of this card is very original and interesting to me, and in the center you see the strength of the man who shares his wealth with his family.  This… is me. The safety and security I have made in my home life, financial life, and comfort I’ve built is shared with my sister and with Z.  Under my roof, they are also secure and cared for, comfortable and feel safe.  It is my role in this home to be the one that creates this… that earns this… and sustains it.

That theme ties in strongly with the Thera-Pets card for today, as it too speaks of how my presence matters, and the message here today is to remember not to take for granted that I matter to others.  I matter to them emotionally, and also on the physical plane.

DECK USED:  GREGORY SCOTT TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What unhealthy habits am I holding onto that hinder my growth and progress towards my goals?

Whimsical Tarot

Reading Summary:  The unhealthy habits in question aren’t thoughtlessly done, but rather they are done through making bad choices.  Bad… and conscious choices (The Lovers Rx).   This bad and conscious choice lies within my denial (Four of Cups) and my refusal to allow others to help (Three of Pentacles Rx).

Take Away:  This is about my depression and how my initial reaction is to pretend to the world like everything is fine when it’s really not, and refusal to allow others in to help me in my responsibilities.  Although I am working on this, I did briefly fall into that habit again with this last MDE.  I realized it, and eventually fought against it and forced myself to do things in a more healthy (and open) way.  It might be that this unhealthy habit is something that only repeated practice can truly break me of, but you’ll have to forgive me if I’d rather put off the next MDE for as long as I possibly can.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon where I am mentally over the week ahead?

Gregory Scott TarotReading Summary:  Focus on the good and what makes you happy (Ten of Cups) instead of on your depression (Three of Swords).  Let go of your worries and anxiety (Nine of Swords).

Take Away: Worries and anxiety have been the theme of the past few days as I prepared for this whole border crossing thing.  The thing is that I used to do this all the time yeah? But I haven’t crossed in a year now, and with Covid there’s so many restrictions and extra paperwork and policies and… god it’s just hugely stressful.

The cards here also indicate that it’s now time to let go of the darkness of my depression. allow it to fade into the background as the light becomes brighter the higher out of the pit  I manage to climb. It has been my focus for a long time, self monitoring my progress and making sure I’m still moving and not stagnant.  The cards here indicate that is no longer necessary and to focus more fully on the light now instead of what I’m leaving behind.

DECK USED:  GREGORY SCOTT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I wanted to skip my meditation today and get on the road, but I made myself do it because I knew it would help my anxiety about crossing the border.