temperance

The Sweet Spot

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Today’s meditation was… Hell.  I know I did it.  I just can’t remember it?  This is the folly of doing a post a day late.   Not that it’s happened before, but I knew it was about to happen eventually.

Temperance - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Temperance card from the major arcana, and I just have to say?  I really love this depiction.  I think it really expresses for me what temperance is all about.  It’s that middle road between two extremes.

This feels like a reminder about the whole “slow and steady” plan, which has been something that’s difficult to keep in mind.  Especially today when I’ve been working hard to get my ass through a sudden rush of orders.

I think that it’s a good idea that I’m leaving work at home on this trip, and for once I’m not really feeling all that bad about it.   I think that might have to do more than burnout than with having found some sort of balance, but either way…. I’ll take it.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What good thing have I already manifested this year?

Ember + Aura Tarot

Reading Summary:  Taking charge (The Emperor).  New emotions (Ace of Cups) directed by a centered balance of energy (Diviner of Wands).  Temptations (The Devil) and new emotional growth (Daughter of Cups).

Take Away:  This is something I’ve mentioned in a previous reading earlier this week, but it refers to finding a certain amount of balance and control of my addictions and their more destructive influences through examination of what these effects are and how to mitigate them.  What else is showing in this reading, though, is how my emotions, and especially that new depth of emotion I’ve begun to grow into over the past six months, also factors in and influences my temptations and behaviors.

In other words, the good thing that has manifested this year is the fact that I can see these connections clearly, and I am not just aware of them but taking steps to control them rather than allowing them to control me.

I also see a clear correlation between the safe in the Emperor card, the Ace of Cups card, and the Devil card.  This speaks to me about the danger of closing myself off to these new emotions and the negative results that can manifest.

The combination and color coordination between the Diviner of Wands and the Daughter of Cups also brings up the fact that with this new “leveling up” and new development of emotions, I need to allow myself to stay open wide to sharing this experience, even as I focus on staying balanced.

DECK USED:  EMBER + AURA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a very positive thing in your life you are overlooking?

Forest Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  Look at all those coins.   My work (Three of Coins) has provided me with security (Queen of Coins) and a safe and steady outlet for my passions (King of Wands) while providing me with what I need to have a stable home (Four of Coins).

Take Away:  This is something that, in my emotional upheaval over the past couple of months, I’ve lost sight of for a bit.  I’ve lost a good deal of my passion and “spark” for creation through the fear and stress that has been overwhelming me.   It’s caused me to over look the parts about running my own business that I love the most.   That is, the fact that I have  the ability to control my own destiny and create my own sense of stability within my life while allowing my creative spark free reign.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I hold myself accountable In relation to asking for help?

Bohemian Animal Tarot

Reading Summary:  The first two cards here are the same cards used on Saturday to represent that foggy-mind situation that I have been stuck in lately. The Rook and The Warrior indicate that I need to remember what I have to lose and depend upon my strength to push forward toward resources for healing rather than the weakness of burying it.

Take Away:  The thing about that box and burying negative emotions and worries?  It feels like strength.  It really does feel like by doing so I am bolstering my strength and the walls are sold.  But that is a lie.   It’s a lie because when you try to build -anything- on that foundation, over time the foundation begins to fester and rot… and then everything is at risk of collapsing and landing you worse off than you were before, all because you didn’t deal with it properly the first time around.

DECK USED:  BOHEMIAN ANIMAL TAROT

Even Flow

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on tolerance, which is a very fitting subject for today’s meditation considering the card I drew for today.   The meditation guided me through a breathing exercise while discussing how when you find that mindfulness of being centered in your practice, irritants in the environment cease to become disruptive aggravating irritants, and instead become simply another part of the environment around you, and you detached from an emotional response to them.

Temperance - Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Temperance card of the Major Arcana. This card is a representation of…. well… temperance.  Duh, right?  Okay so what IS temperance then?  Temperance is moderation and self-restraint, and through those traits the creation of balance.

In order to create this balance, that self restraint requires a purpose, and that is the message of today’s card.  It is a reminder of my goals.  Not just of my goals, but of what I need to do (and not do) in order to achieve them. Sometimes my “addictions” can get the better of me.  Sometimes my emotions can get the better of me too. And, if I’m truthful, sometimes even my creativity and ambitions can get the better of me.

In all these cases, moderation is needed, and self restraint is required.  Otherwise, things fall out of balance, chaos reigns, and my world begins tumble out of control.

Funny side note?   Every time I see a Temperance card lately?   The chorus of the Pearl Jam song “Even Flow” starts playing in my head.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: How can I improve my relationship with my body in the coming year?

The 5-Cent Tarot

Reading Summary: More exercise (Page of Buttons), preferably some of it outside (The Sun) is needed, but so is giving myself the rest that I need (Four of Needles). Take time to bond with others and take them on my journey (Three of Needles atop Three of Cups).

Take Away:  So, the thing that I have NOT been doing to up my self-care over the past year has been in the exercise department.   I know that to gain weight, I need to get back to the gym, because I need to build muscle in order to create that bulk I lack.

I don’t know why I’ve been so avoidant on this, but I do know that part of it is my discomfort with how lean I have become and…. a sort of self blame for all of that, even though I know a lot of it was from the cancer.   I need to forgive myself and involve others in my self-care to benefit from it the most.   And, as always… I need more rest.

DECK USED:  THE 5-CENT TAROT

 

 

What Seeds Take Root

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Today’s meditation was 10 minutes and 10 seconds and focused on transforming negative emotions into positive ones. More specifically, it dealt with irritation, but I really do feel that this could be applied to any negative emotions.

The example used in the meditation explained how you can use your meditation practice, mindfulness, and breathing exercises to transform such emotions as irritation into a more positive light.  This is done by taking a minute and a “step back”, just to take a couple of deep breaths and seek a bit of perspective outside yourself.

The meditation itself included a breathing exercise where you rhythmically count your breaths in, then hold, then breaths out.  I found it so relaxing that I had a hard time getting up after the meditation was done.  I just wanted to lie there and dawdle the day away.   Of course, my stomach and metabolism had other ideas.

Today’s draw is yet another duo, which again had no jumper but came out together. That would be the 14th card of the Major Arcana, the Temperance card, and the Nine of Swords. The keyword on the temperance card is “balance”, and the keyword on the Nine of Swords card is “sorrow”.

To be honest?  I’m not even going to bother defining the traditional meaning for these two cards today, because my intuition is working overtime on this deck, to the point it seems to be almost “mentally blocking” the more analytical, educated side of things.

What I see in these cards is, first and foremost, that Sorrow is at the back.   When I read, the rear card in a double jump is always the subject, and the overlaying card is the commentary.

What the cards are telling me is that, although depression is often a brain chemistry thing for me, in order to assist myself and my meds in keeping myself afloat and out of the mess of a deep pit that my depression is prone to throwing me into… I need to make sure I continue to focus on balance.

I’ve been very tempted lately to up my hours on my part time jobs, because things have been slow with the business.  Not surprising, things are always slow this time of year.  Still, I push myself so hard that the temptation is there even if I don’t really NEED to struggle and strive and push for more.

I need to make sure I remember that this time of year is a time for rest for me.  Next month I have to start gearing up and preparing for the busy holiday season ahead.  June, July, and August are the only months all year that I have to essentially “slack off”.

I need to stop feeling guilt over that “slacking” and see it as what it is.   A time for healing.  A time for restoration.   A time to refill my cup for what’s coming, and repair the damage (emotional, spiritual, physical) that I’ve done to myself over the past year when things were so busy I couldn’t barely breathe.

If I do not give myself that balance?   I will pay for it later in not just my mood, but in my energy levels, creativity, and enthusiasm as well. Which would create a prime set-up for a bit of darkness to creep in and root into the soil.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot

 

Coping With Subdrop

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and thirty six seconds, and focused on shinrin-yoku, or what is known as “forest bathing”.

This is a type of eco-therapy where one takes a walk in the woods and, instead of spending the time distracted by one’s phone, thoughts, or the drive for getting exercise, you focus on your senses and what you are experiencing there within the forest.

This includes everything from listening to the sounds of the forest such as the rustle of leaves and sound of insects, to the scents of the forest such as the smell of the earth and the trees, the experience of touch through feeling the sun and air on the skin or the feeling of dappled shade through leaves, taking in the colors and shapes and beauty around you, and even taste through how the air tastes as you breathe it in.

When I hike, this is my practice. I am not hiking in order to get exercise or see how far I can go. I am there to enjoy nature in all of its subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways. Sometimes, I might bring my camera… but I always turn my phone off and leave my earbuds at home.

To me, hiking has always been a time to commune with nature. Like some people use a maze or labyrinth to foster mindfulness, I have always used the hiking trails in the forests here where I live in this way.

Today’s draw is the 14th card in the Major Arcana, the Temperance card. Like all cards in the Major Arcana, this card deals with not just one single aspect of the human experience, but instead a broader picture as a whole.

The Temperance card is a representation of moderation, balance, and patience. It speaks of the need for a pause before reacting, thought before action, and reflection before absorption. This is an extremely good card for me today, because the subdrop has definitely arrived! Holy crap, has it ever.

One of the qualities of the Temperance card is to remind you to remain calm during times of stress and chaos. The subdrop is absolutely a time of stress and chaos for me, as I feel extremely vulnerable emotionally during this time.

As a result, the message of the card for today is just to take my time. Remember that I need to consciously seek out balance and stability, rather than just flying off the handle over every little thing. No matter whether that be mentally, emotionally, or even physically.

Side Note: Whenever I am in subdrop, it always reminds me of those movies where a woman is in labor and she looks over at her significant other and screams at him, “This is all your f’king fault, you son of a bitch!”.

Like pregnancy and labor, the sub drop is a joint endeavor… but in the moment, I just feel like blaming it all on you. Just sayin’.

 

Moderation is The Key

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes in length, and focused on enlightenment.  During the guided meditation, it discussed how when one seeks enlightenment, you will never find it, for you cannot “be complete” if you are still searching.  Ie: if you are always reaching for more than where you currently are, you are not fully in the moment of the present.

Today’s draw is the fourteenth card of the Major Arcana, the Temperance card.  As with all the cards of the Major Arcana, this card deals with “the big picture” rather than any one aspect of life.

The Temperance card is about balance.  It is about being rooted and patient, at one with the ebb and flow of life.  It is about balance and moderation.

I’m still having a small bit of a problem getting my “creature comfort spending” under control, and the Temperance card has appeared to let me know that a part of finding that control in this area involves finding balance in all areas.

Stop fighting.  Stop struggling.  Stop reaching.  There is no pitting one side against the other, as when they are in true balance, they are equal.  The Temperance card says that I can have my cake and eat it to, but only if I do so in moderation.