tarot reading for self

Whose Shoes Are Those?

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IMG_8635Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app with interval timer for my piriformis and forearm flexor stretching.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about having appreciation for one’s failures and mistakes. This is actually a topic that’s near and dear to my heart, and it’s one that is connected to something that I struggled for a very long time to understand in others (and sometimes still do).  That is to say, I’ve never understood why people hold back from doing things out of fear of being bad at them or not doing them right.

One of the biggest steps to learning a new skill or ability is trying and failing, you then take that knowledge learned about what doesn’t work… and try again. And through multiple failures, you learn what works and what doesn’t… and eventually?  You don’t fail because you become an expert.   This is the process of trial and error that is what learning something new is all about.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - The Hanged ManToday’s draw is the Hanged Man, which is traditionally a representation of taking time to look at new perspectives and gather additional data.  It’s about taking a pause in order to see things from a different angle, and allowing yourself time to wrap your mind around different viewpoints and opinions, ideas and angles… to see things from a different view in order to find more depth in understanding.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the feathers in the lower right hand corner. They drew my eye very strongly today and are an indication of thought… of the fact that this man has a great need for thought and reevaluation… and clearly the opportunity to do so.

The thing is, even in situations like his?  We still have a choice on whether we are going to be open to reevaluation and a different perspective than the one we ourselves carry, or if we are going to remain closed in our own personal box and unwilling to see our situation (or any other topic) from a place removed from our own opinions and perceptions.

I have found, over time and observation, that I don’t communicate with people that are unwilling to try and see things from outside their own personal “box”, as if stuck in the certainty that their viewpoint on something is the -only- view point and only reality.  I struggle with communicating with people that have that mindset a lot, and it feels a lot like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone, especially when trying to help them in expanding their view to find a different perspective that might help them in some way.

I still try though, because I want to see their perspective… but I want to help them see more than that perspective as well in order to help them find a path out of the situations that have caused them to end up feeling stuck or stagnant.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I attune to my internal elements to manifest my best in 2021?
(I had to rephrase this question so that it better suited my needs.)

Wayward Dark Tarot

 Reading Summary: Part of making sure that I am attuned to my internal elements is in finding a balance between the self care and nurturing that I need in my life (pomegranates) and the strength and responsibility that I carry on my shoulders (stag beetle).  To do this, I need to learn how to create some organization and control within my inner narrative so that the negativity does not overwhelm (Princess of Air).

(Note: The first two cards are actually the Three of Cups and Four of Pentacles, but when they landed on the table in this reading, what I saw here were the Empress and the Emperor.  I have not been able to divorce my mind in this reading from feeling that the Empress and Emperor are within these cards and they were read intuitively as such.)

Take Away:  One of the things that sends me out of whack the fastest is when my pessimism and negative inner talk starts to take a front seat.  It screws with my head and tumbles me into overwhelm, and both my responsibilities and my personal self care suffer as a result.   If I want to attune myself to manifest the best 2021 that I can, I need to make sure I keep things in that department in hand, because I need to both ensure I am getting the self care I need, and also not dropping the ball on my responsibilities.

DECK USED:  WAYWARD DARK TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is something that you miss that you can bring back into your life?

The Deck of the Celestials TarotKing of Cups atop Two of Cups: More quality time with Gideon. More harmony and time together, working together and “feeding” off each other to create a positive and happy synergy.  This is something that the holiday rush took away, and that I didn’t get much of even during my time off after the holiday rush.  It’s something I’ve missed and, as the cards here indicate, is definitely able to be brought back into my life now.

Nine of Pentacles: More gratitude practice. Another thing that had to be set aside for a time during my holiday rush was the morning devotional that I usually do each morning prior to my meditation.  This devotional creates a daily regular opportunity for me to consciously focus upon the things in my life that I am grateful for, and express that gratitude openly.  I have not yet picked back up my daily devotional since the end of the holiday rush, but this gratitude practice is something that would benefit me and is definitely something that it’s time to reestablish now that the mess of the holiday rush is over.

Three of Wands atop The Magician: More confidence and surety in the direction I’ve chosen to go in. I’ve taken a lot of steps over the past year to learn new ways of looking at and handling the balance between my personal needs and my responsibilities, new ways of acknowledging and dealing with my emotions, and new perspectives on how to make space for personal growth.  All this newness creates a sense of unsure footing that can make avoiding backsliding into old habits difficult to avoid. The confidence and sure footed progress I want may be more of an illusion than reality… but the progress itself? It is something that it’s time to bring back into my life now that I am out of the rush and able to focus on my growth once more.

DECK USED:  THE DECK OF CELESTIALS TAROT

New Moon in Capricorn – January 2021

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Tomorrow is the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is about drawing in stability, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.

Dark Days Tarot - Capricorn New Moon Tarot Reading

1. What medicine does the Capricorn New Moon offer?

The Hermit – The ability to look within and truly ascertain what’s working for you and what isn’t. Other readings I’ve done lately have been saying much the same thing.  It’s time to reevaluate methods and modalities, toss the ones that aren’t working and go with the ones that are going to further your goals not just in projects or material ways but also in your spiritual path and emotional growth.  In order to make that move, you have to take the first step and open your eyes.  Now is the time to start paying attention and really looking into these things and examining what’s working and what isn’t.

2. What aspect of my life do I need to restructure and shift?

Knight of Swords – Less impulsivity.  Slow down. Everything doesn’t need to be done right now and you need to stop barraging yourself with recriminations for not going at top speed all the time.  It is only your own expectation of speed that is causing that constant shove to go faster and do more.

3. How can I hold space to align with my TRUE purpose?

Page of Swords – Keep your mind open and don’t allow negative thinking to stab you in the back. You know it’s coming.  You know that those negative thoughts are sneaking up and trying to whisper in the background.  Be aware of this and do what you can to keep their volume as low as possible so that your mind is open and receptive to new methods and ideas.  After you have identified what isn’t working, after all, it will be time to discover what to try instead.

4. How can I create the security that I need in order to thrive?

Ace of Cups atop Judgement – Remember that you are just starting on this particular journey and stop judging yourself so harshly for the small mistakes that you make a long the way.  You’re learning and growing, mistakes will happen.  Backsliding will also happen.  That’s okay.

5. What resources am I overlooking that I need to bring into my awareness to help sow new seedlings for the Capricorn New Moon?

Knight of Cups – Instead of looking at what you should be doing, try looking through the lens of what you want to do and what will make you feel happy.  If there’s stuff that you want to happen or to change that will make you happy, you need to take these things into consideration rather than setting them aside as frivolous or immaterial.  Give them weight and allow them a seat at the table.

6. Message from the Ancestors and Guides.

The Magician – You can do it!  Your ultimate and eternal cheerleaders are on deck and rooting for you.

DECK USED:  DARK DAYS TAROT

Steady Ground

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Today’s meditation was another of those “start meditating and end up napping” meditations.  Which is to say, I didn’t meditate today.  I napped. Apparently, I really needed to sleep, no matter how much I might have also needed the meditation.  I will try again to meditate tonight before bed.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - The HermitToday’s draw is the Hermit, which is traditionally a representation of taking time to oneself for inner exploration and reflection. It is about being alone in order to seek out one’s inner voice and do a bit of soul searching.

What stood out to me in this imagery is that when I first looked at it this morning, I first saw rough ocean waters behind the Hermit instead of the mountain range.

It is in this shift of imagery that I see the message in this card today, for it is about the need to have some sort of stability under your feet when you do your soul searching journey and not the instability of rolling waves.

Just as it is a bad idea to do shadow work on yourself when your world is in upheaval, so is a time when you don’t have steady footing a bad time to settle into aloneness and introspection.

During times of chaos and instability, you need others around you to help support you.  Do your alone time and introspection later when the world has settled into solid ground under your feet once more.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What surrounding elements are currently supporting my plans?

Transire Tarot

 Reading Summary:  Energies of deconstruction (The Tower) and slow growth (Seven of Pentacles) surround and support me, no matter how worrisome those energies might feel sometimes (Nine of Swords)

Take Away:  It’s not always a bad thing to pick things apart.  By taking things apart you learn from them how they work and what they’re about, and you gain knowledge on how to build something better as a result.  But this process takes time, and sometimes that time can allow worries and anxieties to rise up to pick and poke at the mind.  Even worry can have its place, though.  It can motivate and keep you alert and paying attention one’s progress… as long as it doesn’t get out of hand.

DECK USED:  TRANSIRE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread 2
Question: How is Mister R handling things with his health at the moment? Is he going to stick around for a while longer?

Magical Nordic TarotReading Summary: The Queen of Cups through it’s coloring, stands alone, only the fish connecting it to the Strength card and the Six of Pentacles… the aqua of the water also connects to the dress in the Strength.  This is an indication that he is feeling emotionally sated and strong due to the support he’s receiving. He wraps himself in that support and it makes him stronger. It feels good to him that those at a distance have reached out to him during the troubles he’s been having (polar bear).

Through color connection, the Five of Swords is also an outlier in this reading, with only a slight echo in the bottom of the Six of Pentacles).  It lies beneath the Six of Pentacles indicating that he’s willing to fight hard to stick around, demanding that he get the most out of life and using the support of others to help him in that effort.  That support then flows down into the Strength card, again echoing the connection between the support he’s receiving, and the strength that he gets from it.

Take Away: It is when Mister R is feeling alone and separated from others that he begins to slide down into self-defeating mindset and attitude.  As long as he is receiving support from others around him, he will continue to fight and take strength from that support to stay on top of things.  That support gives him a boost in this fight, and also an emotional boon to his soul.

To give him the best chance, you need to call and talk with him often… and encourage others to do the same.

DECK USED:  MAGICAL NORDIC TAROT

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Mystic Masters Tarot, Mystical Creatures Oracle, Runic Odyssey Oracle

Earth – Two of Swords and Foo Dogs – You’re going to have some decisions to make this week concerning your home and finances.  Make sure that you lean heavily into the stability aspect and that you are paying attention to what needs a little extra balance and structure.  Now is not the time to take risks or go off of guesses.  Find the sure path with level ground and save the risk taking and adventures for later on down the line.

Air – Two of Cups, Basilisk atop Harpy – Do not allow carelessness and negativity to pollute your connection and communication with others.  Sometimes your head goes on little tangents or gets a bit too wrapped up in it’s own self and you forget to look outward on how your words are affecting others.  The potential for one of those moments is coming up in the week ahead, so do your best to stay mindful in your connections and communication with others, as well as their reactions.

Water – Justice and Minotaur – What goes up must come down and you’ve been on a bit of an emotional upswing lately, regardless of the somewhat chaotic nature the last week has held. These cards go hand in hand with the Air section of this reading, as you are at risk of sliding into a more negative space and getting lost in your head with that ugly negative self talk that so often can drag you down.  Here’s your warning… the scales are looking for a way to tip off balance. Be aware.  Be alert. Pay attention and do what is needed to stay balanced.

Fire – Five of Cups, Mermaid atop Goblin – Bad feelings are coming and it’s important that you don’t close them off or shut them away. Feel your feelings.  It’s important.  If you close the emotions you’re feeling off it will only  make them worse, giving rise to a “fight” response that will create resentment and negative interactions with yourself and others as a result.  This is not healthy for you or for your ambitions.   It’s not healthy for anyone.  Feel your feelings.  But while you’re doing so, keep your head up and look for the silver lining in the situation.

Waning – Tiwaz (Courage/Justice) – It’s time to slow down.  As indicated in the Earth section earlier in this reading, there are things at play that need a slow and careful approach.  Pause and think rather than simply going with your gut, and when you come to a course of action?  Pause and think some more.

Waxing – Berkano (Fertility/Growth) –  The question in this prompt is specifically “what do I need to focus on moving toward” for self-care in the week ahead, and what I need to focus on is growth.  Personal growth. I have an opportunity to grow and flourish into the newness of how I deal with things in the methods I use to confront this week’s challenges.  I can fall back on old habits… or I can reach for new methods and use this opportunity to grow from them.  I need to focus on that growth.

Take Away –  Slow steady and ultra careful on the home and finances front this week.  There’s some potential for emotional upheaval this week, and miscommunication could very definitely play a part in the mess of it all.  Don’t make any important decisions or changes this week in the home and finances while going through the mess of emotional upheaval.  And don’t close off.  Use this upheaval as a chance to practice your new methods instead of falling back on old habits concerning how you deal with this sort of thing.

DECKS USED:  MYSTIC MASTERS TAROT, MYTHICAL CREATURES ORACLE, RUNIC ODYSSEY ORACLE

Creative Control

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Today’s meditation was sort of circumvented into a nap.  Okay, so there’s no “sort of” about it.  I settled in to meditate and promptly drifted off to sleep instead.  And I slept longer than I’d have liked (big surprise right?) so I haven’t tried to settle in for meditation since, because I wanted to get online and spend some together time.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is The Devil card, which is traditionally a representation of temptations, addictions, and other types of unhealthy attachments that one inflicts upon oneself.

I like this depiction of The Devil with the Medusa hair.  Because, when I think of Medusa?  I think of how strong the temptation would be to look at her, even knowing the consequences… perhaps that temptation would be even stronger because of the consequences involved, because it makes it that much more forbidden.

The Devil stands on all of those that have come before and been unable to resist the temptation of taking a look… just a quick glance.  But in the Clash of the Titans mythos, Perseus finds a way to look at Medusa without suffering the consequences of the curse.

And there is the lesson in temptations, obsessions, and addictions.  Control and creativity.  You don’t have to give up the things that you love, but you do need to find a way to keep them under control and in a place of moderation.  Sometimes, this requires a bit of creative thinking to accomplish, but it’s possible.  Instead of creating a mindset of scarcity and deprivation by trying to “cut out” the things you enjoy that you get carried away with, find a way to moderate them and keep things in control and perspective.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What in your life needs started now for it to be ready when you need it?

Zolar's New Astrological Tarot c.1973Reading Summary: Move away (Eight of Cups) from the urges towards impulsivity (Knight of Swords Rx), so that you can be in an advantageous position (Knight of Wands) when plans start to go sideways (Three of Wands).

Take Away: This isn’t so much about the planning itself going sideways as it is about how sometimes the best laid plans still go awry.  When that happens, if I prepare now I can have a “cushion” in place to deal with it and work through the issue more easily.

In order to prepare, though, I need to get a handle on my more impulsive tendencies and set them aside before they get out of hand and become harmful to me in the present as well as my future.

DECK USED:  ZOLAR’S NEW ASTROLOGICAL TAROT c.1973

Morning Bonus Read – Year Ahead Star

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Welcome to the other side of the holidays! I sincerely hope you survived them mostly intact. Let’s take a moment this week to take a deep breath and look toward the new year with the following spread.”

Year Ahead Tarot Spread using Stars & Moons Playing Cards by Trendy Spirit

Sunset: Lessons from your previous year

Ace of Clubs – You can only handle so many new projects at once, and sometimes you have to leave a few of them on the back burner in order to focus on what’s more important.

I had a lot of projects I wanted to explore and get to last year that I didn’t manage to get to.  The wood burning, some new pendant designs, and a few other things were all planned to be worked on over the spring and summer.  Instead, I found my hands full to the brim with self care… and everything else had to be set aside.  I had to learn how to be okay with that and let go of the stress that tried to rise up in setting those things aside for later.

Horizon: What you can expect in the next year.

Ace of Spades – Lots of new and potentially successful ideas.

I need to remember to write these down because otherwise I will begin to feel overwhelmed by how many of them I want to pursue and the worry that I will forget about them before I get the opportunity to explore them.

Obstacle: A challenge you’ll face this year.

Jack of Spades – Reevaluation of and a re-learning of how you deal with your ambitions and ideas.

There’s only so much time in each day, and only so many days in each week. At one time I used to spend the majority of my energy pursuing as many projects and ideas as possible, constantly on the run and pushing for more.  And to be fair, it’s possible to obtain a lot of knowledge through this process… it can also wear you down until you’re nothing but a pencil nub with no eraser.  It’s time to continue the journey of learning a better way.

Strength: How to harness your inner power.

Five of Diamonds – Scarcity issues.  That feather in the imagery of the card is very fitting with this theme, as it so often feels like security and stability are tenuous things, and like one small shift, one slight breeze, will whisk all that has been gained away.

Scarcity issues are something I deal with a lot, and when the rise up into the forefront, I become a working demon.  I duck my head and find inner reserves that one wouldn’t believe exist, and plow forward until I resolve that issue.  This is not something sustainable all the time, but it is something I can use during times with extra inner strength is needed.

 Advice: Lessons you learned last year.

Nine of Clubs – You can only do so much. This is a repeat of the sunset position in that in the Nine of Clubs imagery we see a universe hanging by delicate tendrils from a controlling hand above it.  It is a reminder of how much you can control, and how much you can take on.   That “how much” does not include “everything.

I learned how important it is to choose my battles, my projects, and my responsibilities wisely.  I can’t take on the world, or even everything that I’d like to take on.  So it’s important to make good choices, and leave room for my own self care.  Everything falls apart if you overwhelm myself with too much and don’t give myself the self care that is needed.

Navigation: Guidance for the year ahead.

Eight of Hearts atop Eight of Clubs –  When something isn’t working for you, don’t stick around and hope that it will get better.  Get your ass out of there and find something better that will work instead.  No hesitation.  No doubts.  Just do it.

Sometimes, when something isn’t working for me, I do hesitate.  Either because I hope it will come around and change, or through some of the self-destructive urges that I’ve battled with all my life that can at times turn into flirting with self-defeating behavior (among other things).  The cards here are saying that a better tact in the year ahead is to simply move on and find something that works better right away.  Don’t linger or try to wait it out.

Clarity: Your personal theme for the year.

Jack of Clubs – You can do it! There is an unlimited amount of potential before you.  All you need to do is choose a direction to explore… and start exploring.

DECK USED:  STARS & MOONS PLAYING CARDS BY TRENDY SPIRIT