Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Mesquite Tarot, Elucidation Deck, Lantern Oracle

EarthSeven of Pentacles and The Closed Book – Rome wasn’t built in a day and a lot of planning and learning went into the process long before the first brick was laid. You know what you want out of your money, your hard work, and your health.  All three have a long term element and you need to make sure you don’t get out of touch with the elements that make up the progress.  Take a look this week and make sure you know what’s going on in these areas, dig in and learn what you need to know, find what’s hidden that you don’t know yet.

AirEight of Wands and The Sword – Do your due diligence and do it now.  Do not be aggressive this week in the pursuit of the knowledge you need, but the time to sit back and wait is now at an end and it’s time to be proactive and get gather up that knowledge so that you can use it to your advantage moving forward.

WaterThe Fool, The Bridge atop The Knight – You may be feeling all kinds of vulnerable and not at all steady of foot this week, but that’s okay.  It’s natural to feel that way when starting anew after a time trapped in the dark.  Just make sure you have your armor in place should stray arrows come your way while trying to work out your path forward. Don’t take those unintended jabs personally. It’s not about you.

FireSix of Wands atop The Tower, The Dove In Mourning – You’re going to ACE this restructuring. Don’t worry about the chaos so much, because it’s just the chaos of change.  Adaptation is your strong suit and you’re going to come through the changes going on with flying colors.

WaningRadical Self-Love – You have spent the past week relaxing and giving yourself time away from the business.  This was time you needed to heal and find your center.  Now as you move into the week ahead, it’s time to find your footing and get back into the swing of things once more.

WaxingCircles – As much of this reading has already indicated, there’s some chaos going on in relation to the business and you’re going to need to focus this week to make sure you gather all the information you need to make educated decisions on how to move forward.

Take Away – It’s time to get back in the swing of things.  There’s a lot of changes going on right now that you need to catch up on this week.  Make the calls that need to be made, and work out a plan, but make sure that you gather as much information as you can so that you’re well informed and prepared to adapt appropriately.  During this process there may be a few “emotional hiccups” due to feeling a bit vulnerable (possibly due to either depression or the drop?).  Keep in mind that these hiccups are you taking things personally that are not about you at all.  Let them go instead of letting them in.

DECKS USED:  MESQUITE TAROT, ELUCIDATION DECK, LANTERN ORACLE

It’s Okay To Shuffle In the Dark

Today’s meditation was just over seventeen minutes long and was the next installment of the mantra meditation course from the Oak app. Again, the meditation did not do the vocal part of things, but started the mantra in the head and kept it there. With each of the meditations in the course, the guide speaks less and there is more time to linger in the actual meditation side of things, which is really nice. I have a bit of mental straying today, but it was more like dreaming, then catching myself dreaming and coming back to center.

Silhouettes Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Knight of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of an active projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, home life, health, and manifestations. While the Pentacles suit is one of slow movement, the Knight is an indication of forward motion and determination. These two qualities combine to indicate themes that have to do with slow progress, productivity, and working hard towards one’s goals.

One thing that stands out strongly to me in the imagery of this card today is the fact that the knight is looking backward.  They look to the pentacle in their hand… but also in the direction of the past even as the horse continues to move forward into the future.

This combined with the Tera-Pets card for today speaks to me about a need to be sure you are focusing upon what is important to you.  Sometimes when we are moving forward it feels more like we’re fumbling forward in the dark, and that’s okay.  The Knight of Pentacles joined with the message on the second card tells us that even when we are walking forward blind with our hands out to feel the way?  We’re still moving forward… and that’s what’s important.

DECK USED:  SILHOUETTES TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic
:  A supportive message from the cards for this Full Moon

Nano Starseeds Tarot

 Reading Summary: It’s up to you to fight the good fight (Seven of Wands) as long as you feel that you’re in the right (Knight of Cups), but don’t forget that others are in that fight (Five of Swords) are a part of your past (Six of Cups) and thus a part of your future.

Take Away:  The past cannot be erased. What you do cannot be erased. You carry your actions forward with you into the future and forever after.  Make sure that when you are fighting for what you believe is right, that you keep in mind the methods you use and keep in mind that those you are fighting against and what you do to win will be indelibly inked into a part of who you are forever forward.

DECK USED:  NANO STARSEEDS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
:  What do I need to focus on for self-care for this full moon?

Silhouettes TarotReading Summary: Call your mother (Queen of Swords). Now (The Chariot). And listen to what she has to say (The Hanged Man).

Take Away: Apparently, I need to make a phone call in the morning (because trust me, she won’t appreciate me calling and waking her ass up in the middle of the night).

I was going to call her this evening.  Then I got a bottle of piss thrown on me by a homeless man and… yeah.  Well. Plans change.

These cards don’t just indicate that I need to call my mother, though.  They make it clear that in doing so I need to pay attention not just to -what- she’s saying, but where what she says is coming from.  The hanged man tells me to listen closely, and look deeper.  There’s more to the conversation than what lies on the surface.

DECK USED:  SILHOUETTES TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took three showers today, brushed my teeth four times. And plan on taking another shower before bed.

Morning Bonus Read – State of Being

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Join me this week in my very simple state of being draw.”

Edo Tokugawa Karuta Playing CardsHow am I doing emotionally this week?

Ace of Spades atop Eight of Hearts – Too much in my head and it’s not going well for that reason.  The time off has been good for me, but I need to stop spending so much time thinking on the new processes and methods that have been changing around me over the past couple weeks and just let things flow and settle and worry about them later.

What am I going through mentally this week?

Jack of Spades – This is the problem that is causing my emotions so much turmoil. The problem is that I am used to being able to learn what I need to know when I want to know it.  Waiting is (figuratively) killing me because I can’t get the information I need and I can’t start the adjustment process that will need to take place.  For this reason I’m agitated and spending a good deal of time “all in my head” instead of allowing myself to relax and be at ease.

What should I focus on physically this week?

Six of Clubs – Get out into nature and find my balance.  I have the ability to ground and center, to find my balance, and to find peace… but I need to actually get my ass out into nature and do it.  An hour was not enough… do more.  Don’t let the crutch hold you back because you know damned well there’s plenty of places you can go to enjoy that connection where showing up with a crutch and a gimp foot won’t be a problem.

DECK USED: EDO TOKUGAWA KARUTA PLAYING CARDS

The Nature of Value

Today’s meditation was supposed to be another installment of the mantra meditation, but it turns out I was so beat that I ended up dozing off within the first couple of minutes of the meditation.  So… today’s meditation was skipped and I had a nap instead.  I will pick it back up tomorrow.

Tarot Skrytých Světů and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of generosity, being receptive to help, and the giving and receiving that is involved in balancing the scales between the “haves” and the “have nots”.

Like so many of the cards in this deck, I see a lot of fae energy in this card.  The piper that coaxes wealth from stone, the seedling below that absorbs that wealth like mana from the gods. In the image here we have not just the have and have not but rather we have one that can coax what is needed from the world around him, draw it out to shower upon the one in need that lies below. This is an exchange of not wealth but energy.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message that I see here is that sometimes we need to look to others for inspiration.  Outside sources can sometimes give us the added oomph needed to do the things that need to be done… including the self care we need for ourselves.

I find this in my relationship with Gideon. Not once in the nearly thirteen years of our relationship have we ever borrowed, loaned, given, or requested for monetary support from each other.  Not once.  Not once has money ever been offered or asked for.

Instead, the exchange between us is in something far more valuable.  He receives from me what he finds of greatest value (and to be fair I am not sure what these things are, but I would guess that a part of it is my encouragement for him to be a better man, to do better and be better and shine brighter)…. and in turn I receive from him those things of greatest value that I need.  Support and love, encouragement and nurturing.  He gives me strength… and helps me be accountable to how I treat myself. That is the mana he provides to me in my life.

DECK USED:  TAROT SKRYTÝCH SVĚTŮ (SHADOWSCAPES TAROT CZECH VERSION) AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Moments of resonance
Question: How can I listen more closely and go more deeply into my moments of resonance?

Fournier's Tarot Cats by Ana Juan

How can I listen more closely to my moments of resonance?
Ten of Pentacles and Nine of Cups

Be settled and grounded and grateful.  This is about balance and security, and the need for both in order to hear more clearly what those moments mean and where they come from.  When distracted by chaos or imbalance, it becomes harder to focus on those moments, and harder to render meaning from them, because there’s so much going on that’s pulling your attention away from that feeling of resonance deep within.

How can I go more deeply into my moments of resonance?
King of Swords Rx and Eight of Cups

Don’t over think it and instead let it lead you to new horizons. Moments of resonance are about intuition. Using too much reason and analytical thinking will just pick them apart and leave them like tiny pieces of shredded paper on the floor.  Instead of dissecting these feelings and invalidating them with logic and reason, allow them to take you forward into the sensation itself and introduce you to new understanding about what feels right for you and you alone..

DECK USED:  FOURNIER’S TAROT CATS BY ANA JUAN

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
:  How can I best work at improving the skill of a more gentle and nurturing delivery during readings?

Tarot Skrytých SvětůReading Summary: Acknowledge that using a nudging and persuasive tone (Strength) is too much too fast for some people (Four of Swords Rx). Instead, slow down (Knight of Pentacles) and allow a warmth to overlay (Queen of Pentacles) your normally more forceful approach.

Take Away: Although my reading for others is focused on empowerment and helping them, sometimes I come off too strong in this regard and it feels like “too much” in the moment.  To temper this, I need to slow down and focus on instilling more warmth into my delivery.  It’s not about giving them a shoulder to cry on but rather providing a glowing center of warmth and caring that threads through that message of empowerment.  In slowing down, it then is easier for them to digest and the warmth further makes acceptance of what’s being said go more smoothly and easily.

DECK USED:  TAROT SKRYTÝCH SVĚTŮ (SHADOWSCAPES TAROT CZECH VERSION)

Daily Self Kindness

When I realized I had dozed off into a nap during my meditation, I didn’t berate myself or shame myself for it.  Instead I wallowed into the pillow and enjoyed the relaxation.

Stronger Together

IMG_9461Today’s meditation was just a bit over seventeen minutes long and was the third installment of the mantra course on the Oak app.  I included the interval timer for my piriformis stretches as well.

The focus of today’s meditation was (surprise, surprise) using mantra in meditation.  For this particular segment of the course, there was no vocalization of the mantra at the beginning and, although I know this wasn’t the intent of having the mantras be a mental exercise instead of a vocal one?  I feel so included.  Silly, I know.  But it’s really nice to be able to follow along without having to improvise due to my mutism.

Now… that’s all well and good, and the meditation was relaxing… you know I can’t not say something about the quote included in today’s meditation.   I really dislike this Lao Tzu quote, as I’ve mentioned before. Yes, nature does not hurry.  No, everything does not get accomplished.  That’s the whole point of changing seasons. Flowers die before they can bloom, leaves fall before they’ve turned, animals die because winter came early… not everything gets accomplished.   The quote makes absolutely no sense and I have no idea why it is so popular.

Fifth Spirit Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of moving beyond emotional contentment to happiness and sharing this emotional abundance with those around you. It’s about positive relationships and a sense of harmony shared with friends, family, and loved ones.

I really like the imagery in this card.  At first, the card seems a bit plain other than the dancing fish.  And then, when you look closer you see that the cups that are overflowing with a wealth of water (emotions) are of all sorts.  Wine glasses and baby bottles, sippy cups and dog bowls and mugs and saki cups.  There are all types to represent all the different types of people that make up the emotional bonds of family and friends in life. The imagery here very literally is a visual representation of the Hebrew bible phrase “My cup overfloweth,” which for those that are unfamiliar with the phrase, means “I have more than enough for my needs”.

When combined with today’s Thera-Pets card, the message in today’s cards is that the current journey through struggle and strife is not a journey taken alone.  Loved ones are there in good times and bad, and those that truly love you will support you even when you’re going through the worst of it.   Don’t forsake their support when you need a little help, instead let them lift you up and remind you that as strong and capable as you are?  You’re even stronger and more capable together.

DECK USED:  FIFTH SPIRIT TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
:  What am I asked to (gently) let go of during this Full Moon?

Paulina Tarot

 Reading Summary: Use your ability to inspire yourself and others (Queen of Wands) to gently begin nudging out the sadness and depression (Three of Swords) that has been stealing all of your attention lately (Seven of Swords).

Take Away:  The figure in the Three of Swords so obviously needs a nudge to get them off their stool, but that nudge just as obviously needs to be soft and gentle.  The energy of inspiration can be gentle, but that takes a little more focus than just whisking yourself away in the inspiration.  Instead this is about giving yourself the inspiration to get off the stool, not to pretend that things are fine but simply to help straighten the spine and start moving.   At one time or another the time comes to stop looking at the big baddie that has oppressed you and start looking forward instead. During this full moon it is time to stop staring over your shoulder so intently…. and look forward instead.

DECK USED:  PAULINA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
:  What skill in my tarot practice needs improvement?

Fifth Spirit TarotReading Summary: I need to work on being more gentle and nurturing (The Empress) in my delivery (King of Swords with the megaphone and the Five of Swords positioned to surround The Empress on all sides..

Take Away: True enough.  I am always very focused on being empowering to those that I read for (as well as for myself) that sometimes I forget that there are times when a delivery also needs to be gentle and nurturing.  My readings often hand people the facts in a way to “light a fire under their ass” and I rarely coddle.

This means that my skills at coddling are not as strong as they could be, and as a result I can often come off a bit harsh, or even confrontational.

DECK USED:  FIFTH SPIRIT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a pain pill.  My foot was really bothering me today and even after I put it up for a bit it wouldn’t ease up on the throbbing ache.   It isn’t hot, so it’s not an infection.   So I went ahead and took half a vicodin along with my ibuprofen.

Full Moon in Virgo – February 2021

In a couple of days, it will be the full moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is about the medicine within, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.

Virgo Full Moon Tarot Spread - Jonasa Jaus Tarot 5th Edition

1. What medicine does the Virgo Full Moon offer?

Ten of Swords – You are coming to the end of a harsh and harrowing journey.  It hurts so bad, the pain you have sustained is great, but with the end of one journey comes the promise of something new beyond.  Although you are not yet at the “something new” stage, the Virgo full moon offers you the tail end of that long and arduous path that you’ve been struggling down.

2. What area in my life needs more structure and organization?

Wheel of Fortune – No shit. *Clears his throat.* Right. So the reference here has to do with how one feels when the wheel is turning, yeah? Consider that you stand on a playground merry-go-round. If you stand at the edge of the ride, then as it spins you feel the centrifugal force so strongly that it is hard to hold on, let alone do anything other than hold on. By the same turn, as you move closer to the center of the ride, the pull to the outer edges is decreased. You can stand up straight and not hold on so tightly, etc. There is less pulling against you… and less chaos as a result.

What needs more structure and organization in my life is my perception of life as a whole. I need to move towards the center of the wheel… I need to center and ground and find that balance that can only be found by finding one’s center instead of being pulled wildly outward toward the edges.

3a. What lifestyle changes would my body benefit from?

Hanged Man – More time taking a pause. More personal time. More time settled within those quiet and still  places that allow me to find myself and thus find perspective and peace. When things are feeling off center and chaotic, it is difficult to focus on your health and well being.

3b. What lifestyle changes would my mind benefit from?

King of Pentacles – Again we see a reference to being grounded and focusing upon one’s roots.  The King of Pentacles indicates that I need to focus on the stability and security that I have spent a lifetime accruing.  Allow it to provide reassurance and take strength and comfort from the fact that everything stable in my home life right now.

3c. What lifestyle changes would my heart benefit from?

The Empress – And a connection to the earth and grounding again is indicated here in the Empress, who provides a reminder that caring for yourself and others needs to be more important than more material pursuits. This card indicates that during this full moon, it’s important to keep my focus set upon my self care and the care of those around me.  And here we again see an encouragement to get out in nature and benefit from mother nature’s influences on my own mind, energy, and emotions.

4. What project that has been on the back burner forever needs to be revisited and completed?

Seven of Wands – I often see this card as “fighting the good fight”, and to be honest… that effort along with everything else has had to be on the back burner lately while I dealt with my depression.  I do not think that this is the kind of endeavor that can be completed, but I do think that as I stretch further towards the light at the end of my depressive episode, I will be able to re-engage in standing up for and defending those things I believe in.

5. Message from the Ancestors.

Page of Swords – Remember that this is a learning experience.  Not just the depression, although that too is its own learning experience.  But life.  Life is a learning experience.  it’s not a race or a battle, but rather one learning experience after another on a journey towards growth and becoming more (and better) than what we are today.

DECK USED: JONASA JAUS TAROT 5TH EDITION