tarot and psychology

Morning Bonus Read – Releasing Chaos

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The Ellis Deck - Shed That Shit Tarot Spread

What is disrupting my peace of mind?
Two of Pentacles atop Eight of Swords

I spent a good deal of time in the fall trying to run away from my thoughts and feelings about switching from the emotional growth of the summer to the responsibilities and overwhelm of the holiday rush.  Unfortunately, this created a bit of a procrastination situation that has developed into a harder time with balancing work and home now that the holiday rush has arrived.

Not being as prepared as I’d like to be (even though it’s my own damned fault) is definitely disrupting my peace of mind.

Why am I still allowing this to affect me?
Five of Cups

Because I regret fucking up. I’m experiencing the repercussions of the procrastination I indulged in during the fall. I do understand that I’m going to need to let this disappointment in myself go, though, as it will only cause me another hurdle during an already difficult and busy time.

How can I release what no longer serves me?
Five of Swords atop The Fool

The foundation of success lies in letting go and freeing myself to fully dive into the enthusiasm of the rush. There is pleasure and adventure in the process if I allow it… so let go of the tension and the tightness and the self-recriminations, and dive in.

DECK USED: THE ELLIS DECK TAROT 5TH EDITION

The Secrets We Keep

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IMG_7811Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of the guided part of the meditation was gratitude, and how it is possible to find peace and contentment in the moment if you stop comparing what you have against what you don’t.

I think that this is a really valid concept, in a general sense.   Maybe in a more than general sense, although I think that there are some situations (extreme situations) where even without comparison to something better or expectation of something better, you just cannot find contentment or bliss in the moment.

In general, though?  I agree with this concept.  Most people experience discontent specifically because they are comparing what they have to what others have or to what they want, or think they should have.

Traditional Manga Tarot - The High PriestessToday’s draw is the High Priestess card, which is traditionally an interpretation of strong inner knowledge, intuition, esoteric spirituality, and the subconscious.

The only thing that really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the coloring, and I’m not sure that there’s a message there so much as that the shift from purple to yellow feels… incongruous.

I take that back.  The longer that I look at this imagery today (and I have returned back to looking at it many, many times today) is that her eyes appear to be red, and yet her posture is very straight and still and proper.  It is another “clash” to me, but one that speaks of an inner fire not visible from the exterior.

Sometimes, we have to stay silent on our beliefs.  Sometimes, for our own safety, it’s important to be innocuous and keep your thoughts, belief, and knowledge to yourself.  I too have been exposed to these times… and the card here is a warning to watch out for them.  Don’t be careless and have it result in becoming a victim.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Uranus Question: Something that truly makes me unique, or something that can support my individuality.

Druidcraft Tarot

Something That Truly Makes Me Unique

Prince of Pentacles atop Six of Swords – My ability to know what is right for me and go after it while leaving behind what isn’t working. I see so many people that are unable to figure out what is right for them and stew in confusion and indecision whenever such opportunities to do so are presented to them.  It’s something… I am unable to grasp.

My question is…. it that really so common that my knowing what’s right for me and discarding what isn’t becomes something unique?

Something That Can Support My Individuality

Queen of Swords atop Six of Pentacles –  Sharing with others my thoughts and perspectives in an effort to guide them on their own path.  This doesn’t just support my own individuality, but helps others in theirs as well.  I don’t expect anyone to follow in  my footsteps or believe what I believe.  Instead, I encourage others to hear what I have to say and choose what sounds and feels right for them. 

DECK USED:  DRUIDCRAFT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

Multi-Stabber TarotKing of Swords – There was once a crotchety old man living in a care home that was extremely good at making people believe what he wanted them to believe and go after what he wanted them to go after.  He ruled over the home like a king would rule over his kingdom, and everyone, including the nurses, both admired his strength and knowledge, but feared his wrath.

Queen of Pentacles – One day a new nurse came to the care home, and she moved around the place like a breath of fresh air, caring for everyone with a kindness that was also steady and strong and took no shit.  Every time he would try to get her to go against the rules and bring him ice cream even though he’s diabetic, or let him smoke out the window instead of going outside, she would put him back in his place with firm strength and love.

Eight of Cups – He watched her as she worked, trying to figure her out, and the more he watched her the more he realized how much she gave of herself every day.  He realized that she gave so much more than she ever received from anyone, and especially him.  With each day this realization sank in, he became less of a crotchety old man with her and more of a friendly father figure and in time they came to not just like each other, but love each other like family.

DECK USED:  MULTI-STABBER TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What is 2020’s greatest opportunity for my personal growth?

Mary El Tarot First Edition

Reading Summary: Finding ways to incorporate more positivity and joy (The Sun) into the exploration of new projects (Ace of Wands) and new opportunities (Ace of Disks).

Take Away:  This is one of the issues I’ve been working at throughout the year.  It’s about positivity.  It’s about optimism.  And that is something that I struggle with.  But as I’ve worked this spring and summer on my emotional growth, a part of that has included finding more joy and more positivity in how I view the world around me.  I don’t think that this is a journey that I have completed by any means (thus the Aces), but rather it is the first step.  The inkling of possibility that will allow for growth with some tending and attention.

DECK USED:  MARY EL TAROT 1ST EDITION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What have I learned so far from my life challenges?

Sweeney Tarot

The Hermit – Self reflection is good, but retreat is not always healthy. There is a fine balance between the light and the darkness, and it’s important to keep that balance intact so that when you need alone time it can be healthy alone time that is good for you and assists in the centering and grounding you need.  When the light and the dark are not in balance, that alone time becomes self destructive.

Six of Cups atop The Hierophant – Sharing my experience and knowledge with others creates positive memories for me and a positive experience to look back on later. These memories help to put distance between myself and the unpleasant memories from earlier in my life, providing me with positive ones to focus on instead that can build me up (as opposed to the negative ones that try to tear me down).

The Fool – It’s okay to indulge in playing the fool sometimes. Just don’t overdo it. Being silly and optimistic isn’t something I find particularly easy the majority of the time. I’ve learned, though, that there’s nothing wrong with it in those times I’m able to find it and sink into it.

DECK USED:  SWEENEY TAROT

Be Kind to Yourself

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IMG_7799Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  The topic of today’s guided meditation was about living in the present instead of allowing plans for the future or thoughts of the past to distract you away from the pleasure and joy of what you could be experiencing in the moment.

This is something that I struggle with quite a bit, although I’ve found that meditation and my time in the forest, as well as my time using my camera, all help me in this.  It’s hard to find that focus on the present. But in those moments? It’s easier.

The meditation’s guide says that the more you take in these moments in the ways you are able, the more you are able to then carry them out into your life in other ways as well. I hope that’s true, as I find a great deal of peace in those moments, and I’d love to be able to spread that peace further into my life.

Tarot of the Little Prince - King of SwordsToday’s draw is the King of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, logic, education, intellect, and communication.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the positioning of the sword’s tip. I’m not sure if this was the intention of the artist or not, but the sword tip looks like it’s about to impale the fox.

The fox is a good symbol for the King of Swords, who is someone that is both cunning and intelligent, and good at strategy and inspiring others. This makes my thought about the fox being at risk having to do more with the ruthless expression and posture of the man in the image, rather than the fox itself.

There is a time and a place for ruthlessness, but there are also many more times (and places) when such energy is unnecessary and unwarranted. I am not particularly ruthless with others, but… I can’t say the same for myself.  And what I see in this card is exactly that.

I see a man that has become ruthless with himself, and is ready to kill off the fun loving part of himself. He believes that in killing off this part of himself, he can become even smarter, even more powerful, and even more clever. Instead, by killing this part of himself off, he will become less… not more.

The message here is to be kind to myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #3

Ring Cycle TarotFate – Five of Gods – You are left on my own to struggle in the absence of a direction that would move your feet forward. By having your own autonomy to move as you see fit, you allow your spirit sustenance. We all die in the end, but you are willing to earn what you need to survive and thrive until that time comes.

Destiny – Hierophant – The element of destiny is influencing your life in that it is there to teach you. You are the perpetual student and although destiny does not control every step you take and every thing you do, its lessons are a constant companion at your side on each step of your path.

Chance – Two of Nibelungs – Chance is a cruel taskmaster in your life and crashes down around you in unfortunate and unpleasant ways like waves upon a shore.  There is no balance, and there is no kindness.  Only trials you will either buckle under, or overcome.

DECK USED:  RING CYCLE TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What physical, daily routines and habits should I introduce in order to help me find better balance in my life?

Scorpio Sea Tarot

Knight of Wands atop Wheel of Fortune – Get out into nature, no matter rain or shine.

That would be an amazing thing if it was something I could do daily, and perhaps after the holiday season I can work on that becoming more of a reality. Right now, though? I’ll just have to aim for going out into nature as much as possible… although the “no matter if it’s rain or shine” part is not a problem at all. Weather rarely is a dissuading factor in whether I’m going into the woods or not.  Mosquitoes on the other hand… yeah.

The Magician atop The Lovers Rx – Use the tools at your disposal to make sure that you’re making good choices and not sabotaging yourself.

Self sabotage is a real problem for me, and ties into my self-destructive tendencies.  It’s one of those things I have to watch out for and do my best to keep track of.  And that includes my less recognized but no less relevant self-sabotaging behaviors.

Two of Cups – Make sure you’re connecting with your loved ones and seeking their help.

This ties in to the previous cards in that a part of my tools to help me with my self sabotaging behavior are my friends and loved ones.  That is not the only way in which they help me, though.  As there is also the emotional support they provide, and the actual physical help that they provide in getting things done, which is extremely important in and of itself at this time of the year.

DECK USED:  SCORPIO SEA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the one problem I would like to solve in my life?

Savran Forest Tarot

Reading Summary: I want to find the control within myself (The Emperor) to be able to see beyond my pessimistic ways (Four of Cups) into a different perspective (The Hanged Man).

Take Away:  The one problem that I would like to solve in my life (at least at this time) is my pessimism.  Not that I entirely want it to go away, as I think that a good dose of pessimism is healthy and keeps you safe. But, I want to see more than just that.  I want to see other angles.  Positive angles.  And ultimately, a more rounded view where my pessimism is just a small part of the whole rather than the star of the show.

DECK USED:  SAVRAN FOREST TAROT

Enthusiastic Overburdening

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IMG_7781Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about individuality.  It was about not just following your own inner compass, but marching to the beat of your own drum.

To be fair, I didn’t really relate all that much to the pep talk. I’ve never really had much of a problem with peer pressure or felt the need to conform to the norms and expectations of others outside of my extremely overactive work ethic in relation to my father’s voice in my head.   It was still a wonderful message, though, and one that I wish more people were comfortable with.  That is… individuality over conformity.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s thoughts, ideas, intellect, communication, and ambitions.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card is the woman’s posture, and the size of the sword and crown that she holds.   I know that in the image she is actually bowing to the sword and crown, but when I saw this image this morning… that is not what I saw.  Instead, it appeared that she was struggling to carry those items.

This seems like an awful amount of weight for the girl to carry, and she appears to strain under the weight.

The message here is about how much you take on… and only taking what you can sustain. It’s all well and good to be bombarded with great ideas all the time, but when you start too any of them at once, suddenly you find that none of them end up completed.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Venus Question: How can I begin to do more of what I truly love?

Elemental Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow your emotions to play a part (Ace of Cups), savor them (Nine of Cups), and create that sense of homecoming for your emotions like what you already feel for your creativity (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  If I want to do more of what I truly love, I need to open up to my emotions more and allow them to have a more welcome and permanent place in my life. Right now I am still exploring them, but I’m not really comfortable with them.

By allowing my emotions to have the same type of value that I put on my creative spark, it will open me up to more opportunities for doing more of the things that I love.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Catharsis TarotReading Summary: When it comes to dealing with your past (Six of Cups), take your time (Seven of Coins) on deciding what you want to deal with (Seven of Cups). Remember that it’s okay to set it behind you for now (Five of Cups), because sooner or later it will come around at a time you’ll prepared to deal with it (Six of Spears).

Take Away: What I need to focus on for self care this new moon has to do with leaving my past in the past for now. 

I need to accept that I’m not yet in a place where I can deal with these things, but that by setting them aside to wait, I will allow myself the time I need to sort through everything and pick where to start with better clarity later on when I’m in a better place.

DECK USED:  CATHARSIS TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What physical daily habits or routines need reevaluated?

Dark Wood Tarot

Reading Summary: When I feel the tendency to tense up and hunker down (Four of Pentacles), this is not the time to retreat but rather it is a time to open myself up and share (Six of Pentacles) with Gideon what I’m feeling so that he can help me deal with things (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I’m not sure I would have considered this a daily habit, but it’s true that my natural instinct when I am feeling vulnerable or overtaken by emotion to curl into myself and “show my shell” like a turtle rather than dealing with those emotions or even bothering to give them a cursory examination.

The cards here indicate something I know, but that I need to be reminded of often as I try to change this well known habit.  It is a reminder to reach out for help instead of closing myself off… and specifically to reach out to Gideon for his help in exploring and understanding the emotions and triggers that cause me to try and close myself off in the first place.

DECK USED:  DARK WOOD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What three to five qualities do I feel I want to embody?

Marigold Tarot

The Hanged Man – I want to be able to take in different perspectives and always seek a deeper understanding. The more perspectives I see, the more I understand.  The more I understand, the better person I become.

Page of Swords – This also means that I seek to be the perpetual student, always learning new things and exploring new ideas beyond my current knowledge base.

King of Swords – But at the same time, I want to be able to share my knowledge with others and inspire them to learn as well and expand their knowledge as they seek out their own answers.

Nine of Wands – I also desire to continue protecting and defending my personal values, and those things and people that mean the most to me. Sometimes this can feel like an uphill battle, but if it’s something I value enough to fight for… then it’s worth it.

King of Rings – I feel a deep seated need for stability and security, grounding and strength through a strong foundation beneath my feet.  I don’t mind moving slow at getting there, as long as I am making progress in the right direction.

DECK USED:  MARIGOLD TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Situational Projections

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“There is a LOT of energy in the world this week. We are all carrying and absorbing a lot of anxiety, relief, uncertainty, etc, I’d guess. It’s crucial during these kinds of times to try to pay attention to our intuition underneath the anxiety, although this can be tricky to do. This week, pick one (or more) situation in your life that you need to make a decision on this month, and do a situation-action-outcome reading on it. The goal here is to get clarity and give our intuition (or spiritual guidance) a voice even in the midst of uncertainty and anxiety and big emotions.”

Bag of Bones Playing CardsI chose to allow the cards to choose the situation discussed in the reading.  Therefore, the cards pulled for “situation” are used to describe the situation that becomes the topic of the reading as a whole.

Situation No. 1

Situation – Two of Spades atop Ten of Hearts – Struggling with decision-making when it comes to working on my emotional growth. I’m so used to using logic and discounting my emotions that sometimes it’s extremely difficult for me to allow my emotions to filter into the decision making process. This means that I end up stuck and stagnant rather than moving forward. This is a problem I struggled with through the summer months and feels… unfinished.

Action – Two of Clubs – Taking the time to plan and strategize rather than just ignoring the problem or moving forward without a plan. I haven’t quite figured out how to do this yet.  I think it has to do with making sure I’m focusing on where I want to go, though, instead of becoming distracted by that feeling of lack of progress and ending up stuck there.

Outcome – King of Diamonds – Taking control of my goals and being able to accomplish them from the rooted place of a stable foundation.  The King of Diamonds indicates that allowing my emotions to have a say in my decision making process won’t steer me off track regardless of the fact it feels like it might.

Situation No. 2

Situation – Ten of Clubs – Overburdening myself is a situation that I find myself in a lot.  Like… A LOT.  Although, this summer I did make a few changes that seemed to help a good deal with my cycles of burnout and recovery.I managed to make it through all of the summer without a single burnout episode, actually, which is kind of unheard of.   But now with the holiday rush upon me, I know that the old tendency to burn myself out until I’m not just overburdened but no longer able to function is on the rise.

Action – Nine of Diamonds – Pretending everything is all right and good and that I’m in a good place instead of looking at the problem.  This is my main way of functioning through discomfort, whether that discomfort is pain or exhaustion, or any other number of situations.  The problem is?  When I do this it creates a well of closeted and walled off emotions, because I have to numb my insides for it to work.

Outcome – Four of Hearts – Delays due to dejection are the results of this unhealthy way of dealing with my tendency to overburden myself.  As I am susceptible to clinical depression, dejection is not a safe thing for me as it allows the slope down into the pit of depression to become slippery, and the more slippery that slope becomes then the faster and easier I slide down into the pit.  This reading is a warning about what not to do… and what to watch out for.

DECK USED: BAG OF BONES PLAYING CARDS

Stepping Up

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IMG_7766Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

I really connected with the focus of today’s guided meditation, which was about not fighting so hard against pain and suffering, but instead allowing it to flow through you. The example used in the guided part of the meditation was a man dying of thirst finding a river, but unable to bring the water up to his lips because his hands were too busy trying to grasp the water tightly.

The thing is?  When dealing with physical pain?  This is absolutely true.  You cannot heal physical pain by fighting against it.  Tensing against pain only makes the pain worse, tensing when you fall only makes your injuries on impact worse.  So it makes sense to me that it would be the same mentally as well.  I just wish it wasn’t so hard to ease my grip in that area.

Tarot of the Little Prince - JusticeToday’s draw is the Justice card, which is traditionally a representation of “balancing the scales” between right and wrong, fairness, cause and effect situations, and the law.  So at it’s core, this card is about balance and the constant adjustments that life and the world go through to keep everything in balance.

This might seem a bit strange, but what really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is that the color of the figure’s shoes in the image match the gems in his crown.  Also, that his one eye looks like it’s twitching.

These elements speak to me about the fact that sometimes you have to do more than think and intellectualize how you feel about things and how things should be.  Sometimes you have to get off your ass and do the work to make things fair and to make sure things are balanced.  The eye twitching is an indication of stress, speaking of the fact that making that transition from “I think it should be this way” to stepping up and making sure it is can be stressful.  That doesn’t make it any less important, though.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Venus Question: A reminder of my personal values, my happiness, or how to remain aligned with what makes me feel good.

Tarot de los Muertos

A Reminder of My Personal Values

The World atop Three of Swords – Even through the hardest of times when I’m feeling down and struggling with my negative inner dialogue, its important to remember where I’m going and that the ultimate goal on my journey is about bettering myself along the way.

Often I become far too focused upon money and material security and the inner voice in my head berates my ability to get done as much as I feel I should be able to have accomplished. But it’s important to remember that my true path in life is not about monetary and physical accomplishments, it’s about improving myself and becoming a better person.

A Reminder of My Happiness

The Emperor atop Two of Pentacles – Having control over the balance between responsibilities and personal life is extremely important to me, and when I feel that independence I am at my happiest. It makes me comfortable and happy to know that my life is my life and not controlled by others. I might make some mistakes, and I might tip those scales too far into the work side more often than I should, but the fact that I have the choice and the control to do so really is one of my greatest joys and comforts.

A Reminder of How To Stay Aligned With What Makes Me Feel Good

Eight of Pentacles atop The Sun – What makes me feel good about myself is my expertise. Being able to sink into those things that I excel it brings me a great deal of joy. It’s important to remember that the things you do are also things that bring you joy.  Your actual -work- was once just a hobby and even now that it’s also work doesn’t mean you can’t bring the joy you always felt in creating beautiful things into the process.

DECK USED:  TAROT DE LOS MUERTOS

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: My Desire / An Obstacle In My Path / The Solution

The Mushroom TarotMy Desire – The Star – More time dipping into spirituality and my connection with nature.  Hope is like a wellspring of fresh air swirling through the spirit, and a lot of times I find myself so pessimistic that my hope falls down the drain and is lost in the weeds. I would very much like to spend less time focusing on my worries and more time focusing on my spirituality and, with it, my hopes for my future that are not monetarily motivated.  I’m all too aware that the world runs on money, but my desire is that it wasn’t such a huge focal point in my life.

An Obstacle In My Path – Three of Pentacles – Work.  Duh.  *LOL*  As I mentioned above.  The world runs on money.  I know that.  Everyone knows that.  And in order to have security and stability, which are two things I’m very much into having, you have to work either with or for others in one manner or another. It’s just the way it is.

The Solution – Six of Wands – Do the work that makes you happy and draws others to you.  If you enjoy your work, it’s a little less work than it would be if you don’t enjoy it. So if you want to bring less monotony and more spirituality into your life, you need to focus on making your work more fun and more play and more pleasurable.

DECK USED:  THE MUSHROOM TAROT