self improvement

Cast Them Overboard

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and sixteen seconds, and focused on the practice of bringing gratitude into your everyday life.  

Sometimes, especially when we are feeling down, gratitude is something that is hard to get in touch with.  But, there are always things to be grateful for, even if it’s simply the fact that when you wake up in the morning you are being presented with another chance to make life better.

I am planning to do a post soon concerning my own daily gratitude practice, so I won’t wax poetic on this topic here, but suffice to say that I absolutely agree with the need to bring gratitude into each and every day.  I feel that it is uplifting to the spirit and soul to find -something- with which to be truly grateful for at the beginning of each day.

Today’s draw is the Six of Swords, which is a representation of transitions and change in the area of thoughts, ambitions, communication, and logic.

The representation of the Six of Swords in the card is a depiction of someone moving away in a boat, but carrying six swords in the boat behind them on their journey.   These swords often represent old thoughts and mindsets, past experiences and old lessons that the person on the journey is carrying with them into the future.

The tips of these swords are down, embedded in the bottom of the boat…. a type of craft you don’t really want to have holes in it.  To me, this often means that these thoughts and mindsets from the past that the individual is bringing with them on this journey to new horizons are not of a positive nature.   They are the thoughts and mindsets of the past and are a detriment to progress on this journey.

I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately where the theme of the dreams is my victimization.  They do not specifically have G in them, or G’s friend for that matter, but the feelings within the dream are very similar even if the subject matter is not.   From these dreams I have been involuntarily carrying into waking hours a sense of anxiety and negativity.

Today’s draw of the Six of Swords is telling me to let go of my swords and cast them overboard… before they sink my boat.   Don’t ignore the negativity that is dug up by the dreams, but deal with it and discard it.

 

Instinct vs Intuition

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was focused on working on the inner self.  It discussed how society is so focused upon the external progress, that we often forget about working on our inner selves where our emotions, instincts, and sense of self lives.

To me, this related to the importance of shadow work, and the necessity of knowing yourself.  Not just the parts of yourself you want to know or accept, or believe that others will accept… but knowing your whole self, including those dark and secret parts you don’t want to acknowledge or admit to.

Today’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is a representation of duality, division, and choices in the area of intellect, the mind, logic, communication, and instinct.   It is a card that deals with making choices, and trusting your perceptions and instincts (as opposed to intuition) to choose the path that is right for you.

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Instinct and intuition are often confused with each other, perhaps because they both speak from a very similar place (your gut).   Instinct indicates that your subconscious is gathering outside data and steering you in relation to that data and one’s genetic dispositions.  Intuition is more esoteric.  It is the “just knowing” that sparks regardless of external input, instead of because of it.

Or, at least, that was how it was explained to me.

Because most people feel both of these through their “gut” or solar plexus, they are easily confused and intermeshed together, and I am no different.   In truth, I don’t care which is which when I feel it in the moment.  I only care that I felt it and react accordingly.   Later on, though, I (we?) often sit back and pick apart these reactions (if not doing it in the moment already), and even then it can be difficult to discern which was in action at the time.

Oops sorry…. wandered off topic.

The Two of Swords… Instinct and decision making.   A choice.

This card represents when there is a choice present that needs to be made, but the scales are level as to which seems the right one to go with.

The Two of Sword’s appearance in today’s draw is a reminder that when such difficult choices arise, it is important to take in all of the pros and cons of each situation, but JUST as important to listen to your instincts.  Bringing in as much information as possible will assist your inner voice of instinct in having all of the information it needs to steer  you in the right direction.

The key?   Don’t discount that voice when it speaks or disregard what it has to say… no matter how much you may want to at the time.

 

An Ode to Intuition

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on intuition and the importance of listening to your inner voice, and how when you foster mindfulness through both meditation as well as your life in general, it assists in giving that inner voice a bit of a boost.

This meditation theme goes very well with today’s daily draw.

Today’s draw is the second card in the Major Arcana, the High Priestess.  This card is a representation of intuition, the subconscious, spirituality, and the sacred feminine.  It is a card in the Major Arcana, which deals with one’s spiritual journey and life paths, rather than any one aspect of the human experience.  In this case, it deals with intuition and that inner voice that whispers from the subconscious.

Have you ever noticed that your gut reaction is always right?  I’m not talking about the stuff you’re taught by others, or lessons you’ve learned along the way, or habits you happen to pick up… I’m talking about that gut reaction right at the beginning, before thought even factors in.  That moment… that fraction of a second when your mind and reasoning is not engaged and it’s all about instinct and intuition.

It’s always right.  We might end up disagreeing with it, or second-guessing. But, that combination of instinct and intuition is always right if you listen to it instead of overthinking it or reverting back to preconceive notion‘s and learned ideals.

This is the instance of that internal debate of “should I or shouldn’t I” when your first gut reaction is that you shouldn’t… but, you do it anyway because you want to. Then, later, you wonder why it turned out badly?   Well, you knew in your gut at the start it was a bad idea and you chose to ignore your inner voice.

This is the situation where instinct and intuition tell you to stay away from someone… but you reason to yourself that you are being unfair, or that that feeling is baseless. And then, later on down the road, you learn a painful lesson by getting hurt by them.  Yet if you’d listen to that first instinct and intuition, you’d have either known what was coming and been prepared, or avoided the pain all together.

These initial reactions from your inner voice are a combination of intuition and instinct, and they are often discounted and disregarded by most people. But, the fact is that they can be a useful tool, and the more that you listen to them the more they will flourish and grow.

The High Priestess card speaks of this.  Of listening to those inner voices and allowing them to grow.  To strengthen.  To assist you and guide you along your life’s path.  The more you listen and respect the messages that your instincts and intuition offer up, the more you’ll hear.  As a result, over time, those messages will become clearer, and easier to recognize and understand.

 

 

Back to Basics

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds, and focused on the uselessness of blame and its origins in anger. It outlined a variety of options and ideas for how to work past that anger that resides at the seat of blame, and redirect ownership of situations to a place of problem resolution rather than stewing and pointing fingers.

Today’s draw is the 5th card in the Major Arcana, the Hierophant. As with all of the Major Arcana, this card deals with personal development and spiritual evolution, rather than any one aspect of the human experience.

The Hierophant is a representation of tradition, institutions, spiritual paths, and teacher/student relationships. The appearance of this card in today’s draw is an indication that it is a good time to consider the traditions, rituals, and practices of my spiritual path, and perhaps do a little research and reach out to a mentor.

I have been very closed off throughout the spring, and I spent a good portion of June focused inward, getting myself back “on track” after my depression came to an end. The Hierophant speaks of turning one’s focus outward in order to either teach or learn, therefore, the card is also a reminder to keep myself open to learning from and/or mentoring others.

Hello Again, My Queen

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on “holding space” for others as a way to support them during times of struggle.  It was about how sometimes, people don’t need you to fix things in their life, they just need you to be there with them.  To share space with them in a quiet way that shows support either by listening, or just by the reassurance of your presence, without “butting in” on their problems.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is a representation of a “feminine” alpha energy in the area of thoughts, reason, instinct, and communication.  The card embodies the tenants of truth seeking, independence, unbiased consideration, and clear communication.

I haven’t seen the Queen of Swords in a couple weeks, and was starting to think perhaps I had managed to somehow unwittingly absorb the message she has been trying so hard to teach me for the past year and a half, but… here she is once more, regal and beautiful and daring me to seek and speak the truth in all things.

During the depression, and during the time a few years ago when we “switched places” for a while, I stumble a bit in being honest with myself.  Not just with the expectations that I put on myself, but even with looking at -how- I’m doing.

I bundle myself up into this little ball of awareness, that is so focused on the day to day that I miss the bigger picture.

This activity on the blog here, my daily meditation (that I am still doing religiously every day), and my recent return to a more active path in my spirituality has, in a lot of ways, opened my eyes and my mind to how much of myself has been closed off, one little bit at a time.

Thank you for taking this journey with me, man.  I love you.

Why I Own The Daemon Tarot

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So this arrived in the mail yesterday…

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And the person I had with me had a pretty visceral reaction. As in, raised voice and “what the hell did you buy, why did you buy this”, etc. Poor guy nearly had an aneurysm, I’m pretty sure.

I’m not a Christian and I don’t believe in heaven or hell, an omnipotent god or evil devil.

What I do believe in is the inherent good and evil of people. No person is all good. No person is all bad. We all have a darker side, and that is what “Shadow Work” is about. And, Shadow Work is the reason that I purchased this deck (…and a couple of others I have in my collection. I’m looking at you, Secret Tarot of Dominic Murphy.)

“The shadow-self is where you keep your anger, your resentments, your self-loathing, your grudges. Some of us display our shadows for all to see: others keep them well-hidden, and appear unbearably and disgustingly cosmic to those who don’t.” – [Aeclectic Tarot Forums]

I had to explain this to him (once he calmed down) and I figured it might be something interesting for you as well.

The term “Shadow Work” refers to Carl Jung’s references in his work to the human nature’s “Shadow Self”. This is that side of us where our hidden (and sometimes not so hidden) issues lie. Our insecurities, our negativities, our morbidities, our toxicities. Our deep seated wounds. Our destructive tendencies.

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My mother calls Shadow Work the “Abattage des Démons” which translates into the “Slaughter of the Demons”. And that is why this deck was so intriguing for me. It’s not about evil creatures for me, but about a 69 card deck filled with all different aspects of the Shadow Self.

[Yes, 69 cards, instead of the standard 78-ish. Which means this isn’t really a tarot deck at all, nor does it carry the structure of the tarot. If what I heard is correct, the author did not want it titled with the word “tarot” but the publisher did it anyway.)

“The shadow self can be raw, dark and unbearably real and often remains as an unconscious aspect as we rather not look at why we do or say things irrationally or instinctively.” – [The Shadow Self and Tarot on Tarotpugs]

The deck is a way to explore those shadowy parts in the self, nudge at them and examine them. And perhaps, ultimately, while bringing them into the light to heal them, even if that healing is minuscule and takes countless rinse and repeats to see any real progress.

In my case, I do this most often by working with a dark deck on the first day to pull forth an issue that I need to work on, and then switching to a lighter deck the following day (or days) in order to seek a positive path that will assist me in healing what had been brought to the surface the day before.

Shadow Work is an important part of self development, and something that takes immense amounts of time, like chipping away at a wall by picking off one little granule of mortar at a time. Tools to help in these endeavors are always a good thing, and I see this deck as a tool to assist me on that path.

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