The Comforts of Home

IMG_E0044Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was one of the guided meditations from the Calm app.

I don’t really remember the topic of the meditation for today, but it was relaxing regardless of the fact that I wasn’t really paying attention to what she was saying.  That said?  I very much like the Robert Louis Stevenson quote that was included in the graphic offered at the end of the meditation (which you can see to the right in this post).

Lovely Day Tarot - Four of WandsToday’s draw is Four of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of home coming, celebration, and the comforts of hearth and home.

Here in this imagery, we see both celebration and home combined, with the Christmas holiday theme that’s depicted in the card. It gives this card a very “hearth and home” feeling for me, and a touch of longing for the type of relaxing holidays that I don’t really get a chance to experience anymore.

The message in today’s card is that you’ve been sick. Just enjoy being home today. It’s a wonderful thing.

DECK USED:  LOVELY DAY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2022 Challenge Prompt
Topic for April 30th
: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about… and give it a go!

I used my Month End spread for this prompt. It can be found in a separate post here.

DECKS USED: ANIMA MUNDI TAROT AND THE ENERGY ARCHAEOLOGY ORACLE

The Self Appreciation #STCTarotChallenge for April Prompt
Questions for April 30th

Lovely Day TarotI will not quit…

Five of Cups and Seven of Swords – … fighting against my pessimistic inner narrative and its ability to steal away the nourishment, care, and joy that I need in my life.

Because…

Judgement and Three of Wands – …there are brighter roads ahead and better things coming, but they will only become a part of my life if I am open to letting them in. Pessimism and negative inner narratives close me off to those things.

DECK USED: LOVELY DAY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

It’s my birthday and I spent as much of it as I could with Gideon.

📆 Transitioning from April to May

Month End Tarot Reading with the Anima Mundi Tarot and The Energy Archaeology Oracle

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

The Sun (Horse) and Release – You have (quite literally) been purged clean both physically and emotionally over the past week and you are now at a place where, with all that has been released, you have the opportunity to start again upon your path lighter and cleaner than before. This allows for the opportunity to focus on healthier and happier energies than before.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

Queen of Cups (Humpback Whale) atop Six of Pentacles, Supporting – Allowing your self-care and how you treat yourself to be dictated by your emotions needs to be left behind. You should be supporting yourself no matter where you are emotionally. Generosity and support towards oneself is not meant to be tied to one’s emotions.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

Ten of Pentacles (Red Wolf) and Grace – Healthy, happy and hail, along with the ability to balance rest and recovery with active pursuit of your goals. No more fumbling around in a fog, but instead a clear objective combined with healthy balance.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

Ace of Cups and Open – Be careful who you are letting into your “circle” right now. Being too open, forgiving, or invested in these new relationships and outside influences at this time can have a negative effect that you won’t want to have to deal with.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

Strength (Hercules Beetle) and Refine – Pull from your inner strength to do the things that you know need to be done to help yourself feel better and become stronger. You know what these things are, and you need to work at doing them even when you feel uninspired to do so. Tap in to your inner strength to find the willpower to get them done, even when you don’t necessarily want to.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

Death (Death Adder) and Power – There have been a number of experiences in the past couple of years where you’ve had to deal with feeling powerless (and helpless) in the face of change, and this has caused a disenchantment of late in life as a whole. It’s time to delve into these feelings and help restore faith in your personal empowerment, even (or especially) in the face of change.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

Five of Wands (Antelope) atop King of Pentacles (Grizzly Bear), Potential – Empowerment comes in many different guises, and you need to remember and reflect upon those times when you have fought for what you believe in, having held strong and solid to defend and protect what is important to you. There is potential to carry this energy forward with you now, and allow it to lift you up and strengthen your resolve in the areas that need it.

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

Five of Pentacles, Activating atop Belonging – Keep an eye out for scarcity issues that may start creeping in and influencing how you see the world as well as your own behavior. You can circumvent this process by staying actively vigilant and ensuring when you see signs of it coming that you don’t ignore it or shut it out, but deal with it instead.

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

Two of Pentacles and Co-creation – An opportunity for collaboration with others that will allow you to find a better balance in the different aspects of your own life.

Message from the Spirit World – Feeling like an outcast sucks. Make sure that you are aware of when you feel this sneaking up on you, and when those feelings are being displayed in others. Use your inner compass and strengths to bring these issues forward and help work them out with others so balance can be restored.

Message from the Mind’s World – Finding the emotional support needed to let yourself let go of the past can help you in finding peace and better appreciate the present.  Only through forgiveness can this freedom truly be found.

Message from the Physical World – You have a chance at this time to release bad habits and other treatments of your physical self, and leave them behind.  Powering through isn’t the answer, and there’s a great deal of opportunity as you move past being sick to find a better path that will provide a stronger foundation for you to stand upon.

DECKS USED:  ANIMA MUNDI TAROT AND THE ENERGY ARCHAEOLOGY ORACLE

Temptation’s Consequences

Today’s meditation was spent at the bottom of the bathtub with the shower running (at around 5:30am). I spent some time there after a marathon of spewing from both ends to let my body warm and ease my nerves, as well as wash away the sweats.

Lunalapin Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is The Devil card, which is traditionally a representation of temptation, addictions, and self inflicted hardships.

You were really sick last night, you need to make sure that you treat your body well today instead of eating junk or being impatient with your body and its needs. There’s always a chance that the nausea and vomiting could come back, and you need to make sure that you do what you can to mitigate those risks instead of just eating whatever you want.

The message in today’s card is to be conscious of what temptations pull at you today, for they have potential to be disastrous.

DECK USED:  LUNALAPIN TAROT

Mr Lionharts’ #TheAprilTarot Animal Guide Challenge Prompt
Questions for Beyond The Journey – Day 28 to 30

Cat Wisdom CardsWhere do I find myself right now at the conclusion of this month’s Journey?

Patience – You find yourself now at a place of self-awareness that will allow for more patience with yourself moving forward. You know where you are pushing too hard, and where you need to treat yourself more kindly, and can practice the patience to keep that balance.

What am I asked to leave behind moving forward? Why?

Alarm and Take Action – Alarm without action creates anxiety. But, when you seize control and begin to do something about it instead of staying stagnant and letting it wash over you, you are able to turn alarm into healthy results. Keep this in mind and it will help you in leaving behind the anxiety that’s been niggling at you over the past few months.

In what direction am I asked to take these teachings as I move on past April?

Fear – Use this month’s lessons to conquer your fears instead of giving into them.

DECK USED: CAT WISDOM CARDS

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2022 Challenge Prompt
Question for April 29th
: What do you need to focus on for self-care for tomorrow’s new moon?

Lunalapin TarotReading Summary: Down times (Ten of Swords) don’t mean that you lose sight of your goals (King of Wands), just that you save the battle for tomorrow (Seven of Wands).

Take Away: As violently sick as I’ve been so far today, what I need tomorrow is some down time and recovery.

I’m sure just as much as I feel like crap today, my stomach and throat will feel raw tomorrow and my muscles are going to hurt as if I’d gone through a triathlon or something.

No work. No pushing. Just rest and recuperation.

DECK USED: LUNALAPIN TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Gatorade. Pedialyte. Nauzene. Imodium. Vanilla ice cream. Nap time. Early bed time.

Put Down the Shovel

Today’s meditation was skipped.

The Forest Enby Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.

On my emotional journey, I am still at the beginning of things and I am still learning. Everything is still very new, and sometimes it’s hard not to revert back to old habits of burying my emotions instead of dealing with them and allowing myself to experience them.

This is how I’ve done things for the majority of my life, but it is only recently that I’ve moved into a place where I can start to explore my emotions more fully. Today’s message is a reminder that emotions are not the enemy, so I need to make sure that I’m not treating them as such (the cup raised high).

DECK USED:  THE FOREST ENBY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2022 Challenge Prompt
Question for April 28th

Oracle of Light and DreamsRevisit This – Woodland – Take some time to examine what is negatively affecting your patience at this time. Remember that a part of your emotional journey is how unfamiliar it is to be constantly bombarded by emotions you used to naturally and immediately silence so that they never had a voice. Stillness within chaos, as well as the patience to wait things out and watch instead of act, can help you.

Steer Clear of This – Toyland – Play without purpose has its place in life, but right now you need to make sure that the play you partake in furthers your goals. This doesn’t mean that you have to forsake play altogether, only that you need to find it and enjoy it in places where it can benefit you in other areas.

A New Way Forward – Forget-Me-Not – “Every small act of kindness is an opportunity to have a positive impact on the lives of others.” (From the deck’s guidebook.)

Small acts of kindness hold just as much value as larger ones. Spread your kindness around in small pieces, and it will go far.

DECK USED: ORACLE OF LIGHT & DREAMS

The Self Appreciation #STCTarotChallenge for April Prompt
Questions for April 28th and 29th

The Forest Enby Tarot and Oracle of Light and DreamsI have accomplished this.

Five of Pentacles, Five of Cups atop Seven of Pentacles – I am able to see and acknowledge how negative experiences contain a boon within them. And, I understand that looking at negative experiences from a positive perspective instead of a pessimistic one can assist in my long term growth.

So I can?

Peony – Take time to process and heal from the negative experiences in life without worrying that I’m less than or weak for needing that time. If the growth is long term, it means there is plenty of time to tend to those wounds, and no reason to rush through the healing process.

Because of the above, I am better equipped to…

The Tower and Justice – Deal with chaos and repercussions that decide to rest heavily on my shoulders.

So I Can?

Shadow – Better understand the process of growth and healing through the collected experiences I gather over my lifetime. Each experience is a lesson, and each lesson helps you grow.  It is a continuous process that never ends.

DECK USED: THE FOREST ENBY TAROT AND ORACLE OF LIGHT & DREAMS

Daily Self Kindness

I didn’t get a nap in today, but even though it was orders day, I did take some time to take a breather now and then, and made sure to eat on a schedule so that my blood sugar didn’t drop.

Reflecting On Gratitude

Today’s meditation was skipped, although I did have a shrink appointment.

The Houseplant Tarot - Nine of CupsToday’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of feelings of satisfaction, contentment, emotional satiation, feelings of gratitude, and occasionally… gluttony.

Look how the top left vessel almost strays off the page. This card’s imagery seems to say that it has so much that it is barely contained in the card at all. It echoes to the phrase “my cup runneth over”.

Today’s card is a reminder that having a mentality of gratitude is important. It’s important to look at how much you have in your life, how much it means to you, and how lucky you are to have all that you do. It’s important to recognize these things and appreciate them, for in doing so is where you find a sense of contentment and satisfaction with life.

DECK USED:  THE HOUSEPLANT TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2022 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: What is Divinity?

Mara Lunne TarotReading Summary: Divinity lives in the direction we choose to go in our lives (Three of Wands), the people that we connect with along the way (Three of Cups), and how those connections help in carrying us forward and lifting us up (Eight of Wands).

Take Away: Divinity lies within us. Within the energy we are made from and how that energy connects and flows together with others. It’s about moving forward and growth, and about all of the small “inconsequential” things that help connect us to each other and the world around us.

DECK USED: MARA LUNNE TAROT

The Self Appreciation #STCTarotChallenge for April Prompt
Questions for April 27th

The Houseplant TarotI will work toward actualizing my dream to…

The Magician and Ace of Wands – …connect my ingenuity with my inner creative spark. Over the last few years I’ve struggled with disconnection in this area, and as a result struggled with motivation in most areas of my life. These cards indicate that it’s time to get back on top of this and focus on working towards fostering that connection again.

By?

Eight of Pentacles and Seven of Pentacles – Focusing on the work, and on taking my time. This isn’t so much about blindly plowing forward, as it is about knowing where my skills and talents lie, and that it’s going to take time to reconnect with them in a way that will foster my creative inner spark instead of trying to smothering it.

DECK USED: THE HOUSEPLANT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I confessed to Gideon about my overdose. Along with this is admitting that it wasn’t an accident… more of an act of desperation when the pain level got to the point that it took over everything. I… really didn’t want to tell him, and have been avoiding coming online because I didn’t want to.  I know… I hurt him so fucking bad. The self kindness in the confession is that it needs to be out in the open, no matter how much I want to hide what I did.

Don’t Overreact

Today’s meditation was skipped.

Fable Hedgehog Tarot - Nine of SwordsToday’s draw is the Nine of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of themes surrounding worry, anxiety, nightmares, and insomnia.

When I pulled this card this morning, I heard the words “Don’t overreact”.  This fits with the theme of the card, and especially with the imagery here in this specific Nine of Swords. All of the swords in the card point inward toward each other instead of the figure in the bed.  There is nothing to fear, and yet the little hedgehog worries anyway.

A lot of times when we anticipate a problem, it gets blown out of proportion.  What might be a little hiccup, when left to stew over it, can become a mountain of obstacles. The message in today’s card is to take things in stride and don’t blow them out of proportion.

DECK USED:  FABLE HEDGEHOG TAROT

The Self Appreciation #STCTarotChallenge for April Prompt
Questions for April 26th

The Joyseeker OracleI will stop negativity here.

The Eagle atop The Horse – Your attitude towards work needs to shift to something more positive. You focus too hard on the things that you aren’t enjoying and don’t wanna do, instead of looking at the bigger picture and allowing yourself to enjoy those parts of your work and your responsibilities that bring you pleasure and joy.

By?

The Koi and The Bat – Focus on how adept you are at adapting, and how you are able to always turn even the worst situation around into a boon for you. In other words… You have been falling into old unhealthy habits. Remember that you have the tools to look on the brighter side, and don’t focus so hard on the negative.

DECK USED: THE JOYSEEKER ORACLE

The #ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt by E Roebuck-Jones
Questions for April 26th

Fable Hedgehog TarotWhat lie have I been telling myself?

The Sun atop Five of Pentacles – That success is bred through hardship.  The belief that in order to succeed, you must suffer (sort of like that saying “no pain, no gain”).

How can I start being more honest with myself in this area?

The Hanged Man and The Fool – Open yourself up to new experiences and allow yourself to believe in the goodness in life. Not everything has to be horrible for the results from it to be worthwhile.  If you see life as a joyous adventure, you can help that perspective to spread through your life.

Take Away – Like the previous reading earlier today, this reading again reminds me that I am slipping when it comes to leaning into optimism and positivity, and have instead been allowing my natural habit towards pessimism and negative internal narrative to have the reigns.

DECK USED: FABLE HEDGEHOG TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’m doing everything I can to try and mitigate my pain today. My pain level is extremely high and I’m struggling with it.