self development through shadow work

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

Earth – Queen of Pentacles and 8 of Clubs / Moss Woman (Tread Carefully) – You have somewhere to be and some fierce energy to get you there, but you need to remember to take it slow and careful.  Your steps toward stability and a place of comfort and ease are going to take some time.  Don’t rush it.

Air – Seven of Spears and 4 of Clubs / Faerie Collector (Luck) – You might feel like you need to play defense this week, but remember that luck is on your side and as long as you keep your stable footing, everything is going to be okay.

Water – The Hermit and 3 of Hearts / Beauty in the Bark (Dangerous Emotions) – Don’t allow yourself to sink into feelings of being the “odd man out” in group situations this week. That feeling creeps up at the most unexpected times, but it’s a lying whisper in your ear and not based in reality.

Fire – Two of Spears and 5 of Clubs / Faerie Magic (Energy Power) – There’s going to be some opposition during the week, but just stay on task and keep your goals in mind as you go forward into the week. Plow forward and you’ll leave the struggles in your dust.

Waning – Ginkgo – Work on letting go of the past and letting go of the issues that were spurred from past trauma.  Holding onto these memories and emotions isn’t doing you (or anyone else) any good.

Waxing – Baobab – Take refuge in the present and don’t push too hard towards the future this week.  It’s okay to take some time and savor the now.

Take Away –  This week is a time of transition.  The fear from the letter, the issues with father that were raised in the fall, all of these things need to be set aside.  Not buried, but set aside.  It’s not as easy as it sounds, but something’s gotta give, and it’s better to release than have bones shatter by holding on too tightly.

DECKS USED: HUSH TAROT, FAERIES OF THE FOREST CARDS, WISDOM OF THE TREES ORACLE

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Self Care Saturday

Earth – Justice and Rudbeckia – These cards are another warning that there will be repercussions for the line I drew in the sand last Sunday. But there is also encouragement here. Literally. Rudbeckia symbolizes encouragement and motivation, and speaks of needing to continue to move forward, even when I end up reaping what I’ve sown. Move forward, move through it… keep going.

Air – Queen of Coins, Bittersweet, Maidenhair Fern – There is accountability from the Bittersweet and the purity of something new from the Maidenhair Fern in the cards, combined with the rich nurturing energy of the Queen of Coins. Together they indicate that change is in the air, but that although that change may be intimidating, it will create positive energy and a fresh start.

Water – Five of Swords and Sweatpea – This week will present a resolution of conflict concerning worries that are stealing my time and stirring up my emotions. Make sure to pay attention to all the different angles of the problem at hand so that I can make an educated choice on the best path forward.

Fire – Nine of Coins and Henbane – There’s a whole lot of gossip flying around right now and it’s important that I don’t listen to it or allow it to influence me or my decisions. Not my current decisions, or those moving forward. Just take things slow and remain steadfast and stable.

Waning – Svalbard – This week I may find it difficult to foster the sense of hope and optimism that is so essential to moving forward into life one step at a time.

Waxing – Taormina – Just remember that with change comes new beginnings. It creates opportunity for growth, and for new ideas. Change might be scary, but it gets easier if you don’t resist it. Instead, consider embracing it and allowing it to sweep a breath of fresh air into your life.

Take Away – This entire reading is about the aftermath of my actions last week. It’s about rumors and repercussions, as well as the choices I will need to make moving forward from what I’ve done and it’s consequences.

DECKS USED: DECK OF THE BASTARD TAROT, MAIDEN ORACLE, EARTH POWER ORACLE

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Self Care Saturday

Earth – Seven of Swords – What I steal away and betray this week will come to haunt me and I will need support from others to get through the repercussions.  In other words, there will be repercussions for playing the karmic justice card at the club this weekend, and I’m going to need the support of those that love and care about me to make it through and be alright with it all.

Air – Three of Cups – I need to speak up and communicate clearly what I need from others.  No hemming and hawing about it, just open up and let them know “this is what I need right now”.  They know that if I’m asking it’s not for anything frivolous, and I won’t be refused.

Water – Seven of Cups – This week is not a week for providing emotional stability and strength to others.  Don’t over extend yourself, because you’re going to need that stability and energy for yourself this week.

Fire – Eight of Swords and Horseman of Pentacles –  I’m still in a “dry spell” creatively and I need to take this time to give my creative spark the break that it needs and to instead focus on the more administrative and organizational matters this week.

Waning – The Primary Problem With Language Is Its Magic – Self fulfilling prophesies are a very real thing.  Be careful about what you think and how you communicate with others.

Waxing – Magic Is Either Everything or It Is Nothing and Glitch –  Remember that sometimes people just take things the wrong way, and there’s no controlling that.  If you try to explain and they refuse to listen, they have made the choice to close off rather than allow for things to be fixed.  That is not on you, but their choice.

Take Away – Buckle in.  This week is going to be a bit bumpy, but you have the support you need to make it through.

Your communication skills are going to go through a really crappy phase this week, and there will be a number of misunderstandings and issues because of that.  Just remain calm and centered, and remember that as long as you make an effort to fix things, if it is rejected that’s their choice and not yours.   The repercussions of this weekend will unfold through the week and I’m going to need support to keep myself stable. 

DECKS USED: THE INVERSION TAROT, DIXIT CARDS DAYDREAMS PACK, POSTCARDS FROM THE LIMINAL SPACE ORACLE

Shadow Work (The Less-Than Whisper)

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I hit a bit of a wall on research concerning the shadow work and steps for moving forward.

After some thought I decided to reach out to someone with a bit more experience, who suggested that the reason I’m having trouble assimilating this shadow is that it is not entirely seated In the shadow self at all.

They suggested that perhaps It may be tied to something that is a part of my core and needs further development. Meaning that the whisper has a source that isn’t wholly external to my ‘light side’, and there is something where it is rooted that needs growth or development within me. And once the ‘soul’ has grown, developed, and transformed, then the shadow/whisper can be reassessed if needed.

This has a ring of truth to it. There are parts of myself that, because of the way I walled myself off emotionally and grew up so fast, never developed properly or fully.

They suggested doing a chakra reading to look for blocks, which I have, and I will post next week when I am at a computer and have had a bit of time to analyze the results and dig deeper into it.

Shadow Work (The Less-Than Whisper)

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So I have not done all that much this week in the shadow work prep department.   The holiday rush has officially started and the “boom” of the beginning this year kind of took me by surprise.

stress

I do have my books out, and at the end of December I will pull a couple of my shadow work decks in preparation for revisiting things in January.

That “Less Than” whisper is still there, the “pissant” word still lingering on and causing me some issues, but I’ve managed to set it aside for the most part and will continue to do so until I can commit some time and effort to confronting it properly in the new year.

Shadow Work (The Less-Than Whisper)

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leaves

I have not done much in the realm of reading for shadow work this week, but I have been researching from writing prompts and tarot spreads that I will be able to use along that path once the holidays are over.

I have also decided to continue with the Tarot for Growth for another month, as although I sometimes find the prompts a little deep and skimming a little close to sensitive subjects, I am also enjoying it and I haven’t had anything from it actually trigger me, so I think it’ll be okay.

I may switch things up in December, though, and do a monthly challenge that’s a little more lighthearted.  We’ll see.

I am grateful, though, that the rawness that had caused that whisper to rise has eased off for the time being.  It was more than just the vulnerability of the drop, but incorporated the whispers of my father coming through when the veil was thin, as well as what has been going on with my mother over the past few weeks.

Now that her opportunity to “pimp me out” to her foundation buddy’s son for the Halloween fundraiser, all I have to deal with is her badgering about being disappointed in me, which is much easier to deal with somehow than the fact that she views my sexuality (and me at all) as a bargaining chip for social prestige.