self care check in

📆 Transitioning from March to April

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Greater Secrets Tarot and Visions From the Liminal Oracle

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

Ten of Pentacles atop Queen of Swords, Strangely Perfect Timing – As your negative inner narrative begins to let up, you are beginning to see that you are far better off than you thought you were previously. The light of spring is helping you find your way out of the darkness even though your depression is not of the seasonal variety. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

Temperance and Quiet Desperation – Let go of stagnancy and holding yourself back. Get moving! Be proactive. When you hold yourself back and allow stagnancy to creep in, the discomfort of it all drags you down. Better to keep moving.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

Seven of Wands and Storm + Fury – You will continue to be unwilling to compromise on your moral compass and principles regardless of the forces against you. You are strong, brave, and fighting the good fight.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

The Hermit Rx, An Answer But Not The Solution, Believe Nothing That You Hear And Only Half Of What You See – Stop lingering after yoga and/or meditation time. This unhealthy alone time feels nice at the time in the moment, but it’s not healthy and is holding you back.  It’s time being wasted instead of used productively to further your self care or well-being in any way.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

King of Wands and Hell Train – Get in touch with the enthusiastic tyrant that is your creative spark, and let the motivation flow from this place within you.  When you get things done, it feels good and you like that sensation of accomplishment you earn from it.  Seek out that positive sensation and let it help motivate you.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

The Star Rx and Parasitism – Your depression eats away at your hope and spiritual connection to the world around you as well as your connection to what lies unseen beyond the physical world. It’s time to work at climbing free of that pervasive darkness.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

The Magician and Until The Day Breaks And The Shadows Flee Away – You have defeated the depression again and again, you have everything you need to do it this time as well. Do not doubt your ability to weather the darkness when you know that the light is so near.

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

Seven of Cups and The Passing Of Time – Stop dithering while time passes you by. Make lists, do small tasks. Just sitting there spinning your wheels resolves nothing and makes you feel like shit.

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

The Devil and Season Of The Witch – This spring and summer will allow you the time to get your decks in order, and to create better energy flow within your space as a result. Don’t waste this time but leap into it.

Message from the Spirit World – Apply your time, passion, and motivation towards getting your decks in order. You will feel better and your home will feel far more energized once this is done.

Message from the Mind’s World – Let go of the need to sink into stillness and use the energies of the spring season to push you forward into energized activity.

Message from the Physical World – The time of sickness and disconnection has come to an end. Don’t ignore your body, but instead focus on helping it to thrive once more.

Take Away – The majority of this reading is focused on my recent MDE and climbing out of depressions pit. It speaks about motivation and how to stir up the energy you need to keep fighting and keep climbing. It also is calling you out on these activities you do that are not helping.

DECKS USED: THE GREATER SECRETS TAROT AND VISIONS IN THE LIMINAL SPACE ORACLE

📆 Transitioning from February to March

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Shades of Magick Tarot and The Personal Space Oracle 2nd Edition

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

Six of Wands and The Fossil – You are finding yourself falling into old patterns of approval seeking. This has not worked for you in the past and you need to be aware you are leaning in that direction so that you can course correct your trajectory.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

Knight of Wands and The Key – Set aside your expectations of what motivation looks like. You can’t unlock what it will truly feel like for you until you stop using other’s definitions and expectations to measure yourself against.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

The Devil, The Boot atop The Pin – You are seeking a better way to keep your addictions in check that doesn’t require only identifying that things have become a problem when you’ve stepped on it (the pin, in this example) and feel the pain.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

Eight of Swords and Umbrella – Trying to protect yourself through willful ignorance doesn’t work.  Don’t hide from what is bothering you.  Don’t hide from what you fear. The anxiety of trying to hide from these things builds beneath the surface and you end up not protecting yourself from anything.  Better to deal with things head on.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

The Chariot, The Arrow atop The Antler – Move your ass or lose something essential and intrinsically you. Use it or lose it is the theme here. Look into those skills and abilities you have been neglecting, and seek out ways to reawaken them and explore them more fully.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

The Hermit and The Candle – It’s time to return to using alone time in more healthy ways instead of indulging in alone time that is not serving you well. There is a beacon that lies within optimism and positivity that you have ignored in the past and that can light your way to a safer, better use of your alone time than what you’re doing with it now.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

Three of Swords, The Bloom atop The Anchor – Take time to reflect upon all the times others have helped ground you and lift you up. This isn’t about them, but about that sense of grounded uplifting and how it makes you feel. You can wallow in that feeling from the past by bringing the memory into your present.

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

King of Swords and The Finch – Remember that just because someone presents themselves as an authority doesn’t mean that they are dependable or can be trusted.

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

Seven of Pentacles and The Hand – At this time, the speed of your progress is in your hands. This will not always be the case, so find what works for you now and carry it forward from here.

Message from the Spirit World – Your growth in this area is directly under your control. It’s time to plot a “flight plan” and step on the path, awaken those things neglected that are at risk of falling to the wayside and take control.  It’s in your hands what you decide to do with this, but keep in mind the journey is a long one… not a sprint.

Message from the Mind’s World – You need to battle your demons for you, not for anyone else.  Pick those things you want to deal with and move forward with care. Take your time and don’t get impatient. There is no one else’s expectations to cater to other than your own, and you need to set those to be kinder to yourself so that you won’t rush forward headlong but will take time to truly do things right.

Message from the Physical World – Stop pretending that you’re okay and get your ass out in nature. You need to recharge, ground, and allow the earth to give you the nurturing you need.  It will do your mental health good, and your body too.

DECKS USED: SHADES OF MAGICK TAROT, THE PERSONAL SPACE ORACLE 2ND EDITION

📆 Transitioning from January to February

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Darkness of Light Tarot and Yoru no Sumi-E Dark Edition

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

Two of Coins and Shadow – You have been making small efforts to do shadow work, but at a careful pace that balances with the rest of your life and responsibilities. It’s not meant to be intense at this time. Don’t forget that baby steps are needed right now.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

Three of Cups and Growth Rx – Careless abandon has been stunting your growth. This is especially relevant to “going too fast”. You spend so much of your time over the last couple of months of the year fighting to go fast, and faster.  Fast as you can.  It’s time to leave that mentality behind now.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

Ace of Cups and Change – You don’t want to go through the same old thing again this year with the return of another depressive episode. Instead you want to change this cycle and replace it with something healthier and new. This change, like most things that are new and different, will take a bit of effort.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

Knight of Cups – There has been a distinct lack of empathy for yourself as you push yourself too hard to advance in your emotional growth. Last year this was especially true and you need to ensure that you don’t repeat this negative behavior again this year.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

Seven of Coins and Loss – Just because you are taking things slow doesn’t mean that you’re going to lose out on anything. Remember that some things take time to grow, and make sure that you are looking at this process in a more positive light.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

Two of Cups and Strength – You need to talk with Gideon and ensure that he is feeling stable and strong in your relationship. Your recent discussion of past issues may have stirred up some insecurities.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

Page of Wands and Tranquility – Not all learning needs to be a fight or struggle. Take time to remember how good it feels to slip into “the flow” when experimenting with something creative and new.

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

Queen of Cups and Bind – Watch out for feelings of stagnancy. This is something you struggled with a lot last year through the spring and summer… and even a bit in the fall. You have the opportunity to avoid going through it again this year. (This is something to explore further, perhaps with a more in depth reading in this area later on.)

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

Death and Now – Although change takes time, this doesn’t mean you sit on your ass and wait for it. Be proactive in going after the changes you want to happen. The sooner you start, the more room you have to figure out hurdles and roadblocks that might pop up along the way.

Message from the Spirit World – There are changes to be made that reach far beyond the physical realm. (Amalthea is waiting, but she is also patient.) Don’t get discouraged and feel as if you are stuck when things need to move at a slower pace than you anticipate. Just do what you can in the now and the rest will come in its own time.

Message from the Mind’s World – Revelry has its place, but too much stunts your growth.  Focus on finding balance in your life and in your inner narrative. You don’t have to be rainbows and butterflies all the time, but you do need to give as much optimism and positivity to build up your mental health as your inner narrative is giving to try and pick it apart.

Message from the Physical World – You’re avoiding getting out in nature and finding that connection you need because of stalker issues.  Contact J and convince him to start going out with you into the trees again.  It might take some convincing, but you know that he’ll come along if for no other reason that he might get the chance to kick someone’s ass… which incidentally is his happy place in much the same way that the forest is yours.

DECKS USED: DARKNESS OF LIGHT TAROT AND YORU NO SUMI-E

Transitioning from December to January

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Fungjai Tarot

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

The High Priestess – You are in the process of reconnecting with your intuition and hidden knowledge.  For the past month, you’ve had to shut everything out and close everything down.  Now, as the month shifts from the holidays into the new year, those closed off parts of you are being welcomed back and opened up once more.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

Princess of Cups atop Seven of Pentacles – This time around, don’t focus so much on the emotional growth itself. It will continue to develop on its own in the background as you focus on other peripheral tasks and issues.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

Five of Cups – Less disappointment in yourself and your life is what you are seeking at this time. There was a great deal of that going on prior to the holiday rush, and it isn’t something you want to return to now that you are surfacing again into the world once more.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

The Star – Watch out for false hope. Pretending everything is fine when it’s not helps no one and can be detrimental.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

The Magician – There’s a lot to be said for being prepared and having a few tricks up your sleeve to turn things in the direction you want them to go.  Don’t discount these factors, as they are a boon that is useful and can help you in finding a greater sense of satisfaction in life.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

Two of Cups atop Nothing – The pain of losing the belief in your mother’s love. This wound has been festering quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) in the background for some time.  This month you discovered just what that motherly love is like and that you are deserving of it, and it’s given you the ability to begin the healing process of these past wounds.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

The Moon – Being in the dark isn’t always a bad thing. Night hikes are amazing, even when you can’t see where you’re going.  Sometimes not knowing really is the better option and can allow you to move forward when otherwise, with all the information before you, you would be frozen and unable to move.

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

Queen of Swords – Backlash for the recent visit is coming.

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

The Hierophant – It’s time to reach out to ancestors, spirit guides, and (yes, even) Amalthea. Reach out, connect, listen, and learn.

Message from the Spirit World – You have all of the knowledge and tools needed to connect with the spirit world, and to benefit from the skills and knowledge being offered to you.

Message from the Mind’s World – Your growth is about more than just emotional intelligence. As that expands, so too does your intuition. Don’t place one over the other.

Message from the Physical World – Do not allow insecurities to keep you from connecting with others. That is how people end up old and alone.

DECKS USED: FUNGJAI TAROT

Transitioning from November to December

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Month End Tarot Reading - Somnia Tarot and Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

The Moon atop Four of Coins – Waffling between stability and uncertainty. Feeling trapped.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

The Heirophant – Right now you need to focus on you. You can’t help or guide others when you are depleted. It’s okay to close the door sometimes.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

Ace of Wands atop The Tower – Helping Ms B find new purpose after her loss. Helping her get organized and settled so that she can start off on the right foot.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

Ace of Cups atop Three of Coins – Take care in who is allowed to help. Ensure that your guard is kept up concerning those coming out of the woodwork at this time to offer their assistance in an effort to insert themselves and establish a connection.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

Page of Swords – Stay hopeful as you keep your eye on what lies ahead and learn to navigate your way through this experience.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

The Empress atop Six of Coins – You know just how painful backstabbing can be. You have experienced it before in the guise of nurturing kindness from others that in an instant turned to something painful and ugly.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

The Chariot – The little black woo woo. (Yes, this is code for an unforgettable memory I’m not going to share publicly.)

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

King of Cups – Make sure you mend things with Gideon. He’s feeling alone and adrift, and that can quickly turn into resentment.

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

Justice – Balancing the scales will require looking beneath the surface and digging deep. Be thorough.

Side Note:  Skipping the second half of this reading, as there’s just not time to go through it all. I’ll return to the full reading next month.

DECKS USED: THE SOMNIA TAROT AND JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

Transitioning from October to November

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Mio Im's Tarot and Oracle of Nightmares

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

Ace of Wands and Caution – You are in a moment of limbo and it is holding you up in all areas of your life. There is burning awareness of the potential of what is to come, but it isn’t time quite yet, and that has left you antsy and out of sorts.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

Two of Wands and Entrapment – Your time stuck in the planning phase of things is drawing to an end. There won’t be a chance for standing still for all that much longer. You should enjoy it while you can.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

King of Hearts (Pentacles) and Finale – At this time your eye is focused on one prize and one prize only. That prize is financial abundance earned by the end of the holiday rush, which then creates stability for the year ahead and a sense of security that you constantly crave.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

Five of Cups and Guilt – A good deal of your recent malaise is being sourced by your guilt. You need to examine what these feelings of guilt are about, and work on releasing them, as they are only dragging you down and are not a useful tool.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

Two of Swords and Liberation – Stop waffling! Step away from the things that are allowing you continue to hesitate and dither. (Hello, games on your phone.) This avoidance of decisive thought and action is the root of your lack of true rest.  Retreating into these pursuits is not rest at all.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

Judgement and Indecision – You need to stop beating yourself up for the opportunities missed and things left undone. This doesn’t equate with inaction, but rather with course correction. Do these corrections kindly instead of with derision.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

King of Swords and Confusion – Its okay to look back on how you dealt with things in the past, prior to the efforts to open up emotionally, and allow the crisp and concise purpose you had at those times inspire you.

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

Five of Swords and Truth – Keep an eye out for liars trying to get ahead by dishonest means. Winning at any cost really does mean “at any cost”, and you don’t want to become collateral damage or a part of the fallout.

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

Knight of Cups and Illusion – Emotional clarity is coming. You will have an opportunity to better ingrain the emotional growth you’ve acquired and your practical mind in new ways in the days ahead.

Message from the Spirit World – There is emotional warfare going on that needs to be addressed.  Do not allow other’s determination to win end up creating false narratives for you and end up stabbing you in the back.  Do not allow their awareness of what you want in life to be turned into something that they can use to manipulate you.  Pay attention and make choices aligned with your moral compass while taking what others say with a grain of salt right now.

Message from the Mind’s World – Ground yourself in order to weather the storm that is coming. You have the ability to achieve the goals you have plotted and planned for, but you have to free yourself from the negativity first, and find steady footing.

Message from the Physical World – All of the inactivity and dithering you have been doing needs to be taken in hand.  Slice through these issues with your practical nature and allow what you want to happen and what you want to become to be a beacon to draw you forward through the fog.

Take Away – This reading is primarily guidance in finding the source of the struggle I’ve been going through the past week or so, and finding a more secure and comfortable place within myself to start off the holiday rush with.  Finding positivity and stability are important right now.

DECKS USED: MIO IM’S TAROT AND ORACLE OF NIGHTMARES