Science Tarot

Spirituality and Purpose

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IMG_6773Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and without a guided meditation, although I did use the interval timer to keep me on track with my piriformis stretching during the meditative practice.

I had a bit of considering to do during my meditation today, which in itself made it more of a self-guided meditation than one of the more quiet and peacefully empty ones that is usually the case when there is no guide.

Instead, I took the time to focus upon how the work that I do in my business influences others around the world.  I have created beautiful pieces of jewelry that have brought joy to thousands of people, lightening the weight of their days and bringing them a sense of beauty and happiness from the experience of opening an aesthetically pleasing package all the way through to the pleasure they take in wearing the beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve sent them over and over again.

I feel like when I started on this journey over a decade ago of the business I now run, I spent a lot more time focusing on and taking pleasure in this element of things.  I think that in the present, I need to work on focusing on this side of things more.

Hush Tarot - The StarToday’s draw is the Star card, which is traditionally a representation of themes having to do with hope and spirituality.  It’s about being connected to the inner-connectivity between life and divinity, and about allowing that connection to renew your sense of hope and purpose in the world.

And… I just have to say.  I really love the imagery on this card.  The interplay between the earth and humanity, between life and death, and between endings and new beginnings.  But, for today, what really stands out to me in this card is the banner that the bird holds in its beak with the worlds “a hunting we will go” scrawled across its length.

The message that I see in today’s card is about finding one’s purpose.  It’s about acknowledging that you need to look beyond the earthly needs of business and life, and delve into one’s spirituality in order to find your true purpose and path.  That is because our purpose stretches beyond life, beyond work and the material… our spiritual path is not over when our life ends, but continues on.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: How do I connect with the Divine?

Tarot Leaves

Reading Summary: Look at all those pentacles! By being proactive (Knight of Pentacles), no matter the circumstances (Wheel of Fortune), to get myself out in nature (Ace of Pentacles) and ground (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I connect with the Divine through nature and the earth, and in doing so in this way,  it requires that I am proactive in pursuing time in nature.  Each time I step into the forest and am surrounded by the trees and the moss and the moist earth, it is like the first time all over again. It is an embrace that feels new and exciting, yet familiar and comfortable.  And one that I need to visit often to ground with and connect deeply with.

DECK USED:  TAROT LEAVES

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs a little more focus and energy to complete before winter arrives?

Tarot by Alexander DandiloffReading Summary:  Finding stability (Four of Pentacles) in the changes that I’ve worked through putting in place in the spring and summer (Death). Make sure that you’re getting help from those that care for you and that you care for in turn (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  This is something that I’m struggling with, and in struggling with it I’m not getting the prep work done that I need to get done because I’ve got so much of my energy turned towards this issue. I feel… like I need to find stable footing for the growth I’ve made.  At first, I thought it was about choice.  That I had to choose that new emotional depth or my holiday rush… but I understand I don’t need to choose.  Yet I still feel like things are unstable and I need to find a way to shore up the foundation beneath my feet.

DECK USED:  TAROT BY ALEXANDER DANDILOFF 2012 IV EDITION

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: What is the biggest lesson I can take from this month?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Creative flow and the desire to move forward (Page of Wands) gets stalled out (Hanged Man) and moderated (Temperance) by worries, concerns, and anxiety (Nine of Swords).

Take Away:  Anxiety is a creativity killer and the death of motivation. That’s the lesson. 

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I make time for rest and relaxation… every day?

Joe Sparrow Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop using your ambitions to push yourself forward (Knight of Swords) and reassure yourself of what good you already have (Nine of Cups). Opportunities are not going to run out anytime soon (Ace of Pentacles)… Which means it’s okay to skip one now and then and not have to listen to yourself lecture about it in your head (King of Swords Rx).

Take Away:  I can make time for rest and relaxation in my daily life by understanding that just because I might miss an opportunity for progress doesn’t mean that another isn’t right around the corner to offer itself up next.  Also, stop listening to my father’s voice in my inner dialogue telling me that rest is for the weak and is a progress killer.

DECK USED:  JOE SPARROW TAROT

Don’t Forget Your Pants

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IMG_6611Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was one of the guided meditations with interval timer that focuses on fostering love and light, first toward yourself, then towards your loved ones, and eventually expanding that energy outward to the world at large and all that are within it.

It’s funny, because I always do pretty well when it comes to the first two, but at the last one I stumble a bit.  It’s not that I don’t understand the concept of spreading love and light around the world… it’s that I dislike the feeling of expelling free-flowing energy without a boundary or tether to myself.  So, I feel that this preference ends up limiting my “reach” when it comes to trying to do this sort of exercise.

This isn’t so much a “can’t” as a preference.  I feel that I touch other’s lives in  a wide variety of different positive ways.  Through my interactions both in person and online, through my work and the jewelry I make that I then send out into the world, and through all of the different small things I do each day for others.  I just don’t feel that that fully open and free flowing energy is one of those ways that suits me best.

Hush Tarot - Knight of SwordsToday’s draw is is the Knight of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s intellect, thoughts, communication, and instincts.  This often translates into impulsivity, ambition, and all-or-nothing thinking.

What stands out in the imagery of this card today is the figure in the foreground with his staff and helmet. Impulsivity is one of the key themes of the Knight of Swords, and look at that… this guy in the imagery is so raring to go that he forgot to put his pants on.

I’m pretty sure that pants are of key importance when going into battle.  In fact, I’d venture to guess that there are very few battles out there that you’d be keen to be without them.

The message in today’s card is to make sure you’re prepared.  Take the time and the forethought to prepare properly and have yourself in full gear before you step out the door into the fray.  In other words?  Don’t forget your pants.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: How to improve my communication?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Forced departure from a simpler perception (Three of Swords). Unpredictable and uncontrollable outcomes overlapping the application of thoughtful experimentation. Trust your gut to make the right choices (Seven of Cups).

Take Away:   You need to accept that sometimes?  There’s just no way to avoid pissing people off or tripping over someone’s triggers.  It happens and it’s not always your fault… sometimes it’s no one’s fault at all.  It’s just how the chips fall.  As long as you’re making the best decisions you can with the info you have available, and trusting your gut when it demands to override logic?  Then you’re doing just fine.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What lessons can Libra season (which begins on the 23rd) teach me this year?

Tarot of ReincarnationReading Summary: Sometimes when things feel out of control or off kilter (Wheel of Fortune) you spend too much time spinning your wheels (Knight of Spades) which, if allowed to go on for too long (Seven of Diamonds), can result in stressful situations rising up to smack you in the face (Dog in the Seven of Diamonds).

Take Away:  So my lesson for Libra season is that it’s okay to procrastinate, but only so long as you don’t procrastinate for so long that it creates problems.  I’ve been really struggling with the whole procrastination thing over the past couple of weeks, and the cards keep reassuring me that it’s okay.  Here, I’m given a reminder that it’s only okay for a while… not forever.  I need to learn where that line is.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF REINCARNATION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I better accept myself, including my faults?

The Painted Tarot

Reading Summary: Judge yourself as you would others (Judgement), take your time because it takes time to get there (Knight of Coins), and don’t be so defensive (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  The cards here outline three separate keys that work together in helping me accept myself and my faults better.  

Key 1) Judge yourself as you would others.  I am so much nicer to others in my judgements than I am on myself.  I know this, and I have been trying to be more forgiving, but I understand I still have a long way to go.

Key 2) Take your time because it takes time to get there.   Everything work having is worth working for, and a lot of those things also require patience in order to earn them. I’m often far too impatient with myself, and this is why I push myself so hard.  The Knight of Wands is all about forward motion and patience.

Key 3) Don’t be so defensive. This isn’t something that I necessarily show all that often externally.  But there are times when my faults show through and are called out on… that I feel very defensive and hurt on the inside about it.  I need to remember that everyone has faults and that’s not just allowed but okay.

DECK USED:  THE PAINTED TAROT

Reaping and Direction

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

IMG_6550Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer again.  My stretches today were a bit stiff, which I suppose shouldn’t be a surprise since I missed my medication yesterday, which means the pirifomis stretches didn’t get done.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about how meditation does not necessarily mean sitting in complete physical stillness.  It is about being still on the inside.  It’s about finding a quiet inner peace for those ten or fifteen or thirty minutes of our meditation practice, so that when we need it elsewhere in our day we have experience with it so that we can reach inside and find it again more easily.

Botan Tarot - Nine of CoinsToday’s draw is the Nine of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of fulfillment on an independent level in the area of one’s finances, resources, home, health, and manifestations.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card are a couple of different elements.  First, the scythe and beside it? The compass that hangs there as one of the coins on the right hand side.

These elements speak to me of the reaping that is a part of how one reaches the level of satisfaction and fulfillment that this card is about, and about the security of knowing that you have a direction that you’re moving in, and that you’re comfortable with.

Both of these elements are very important (at least to me) in finding a level of true fulfillment concerning my home life, work life, and my accomplishments. The scythe represents work and is about the feeling of accomplishment that comes with a job well done.  It’s the difference between having something of value handed to you… or actually earning it with sweat and tears.   It holds so much more value in the end when you earn it.

The message in today’s cards is to take stock of those things you’ve earned, and value them as well as the direction that they have lent to your path that allows you to feel the security of solid ground under your feet with each new step you take along the way.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: Where is my heart heavy?

Dragon Age Inquisition Tarot

Reading Summary: Dependable hardworking sensibilities (Queen of Coins) directed towards my new focus and goals (Ace of Staves). It’s coming up fast (The Chariot) and I have to bite the bullet and bear down on a direction (Two of Swords).

Take Away:  I don’t feel ready to set aside the growth and inner work that has been my focus so far throughout this year in order to move into the holiday preparations and holiday rush that’s coming. The thing is, though, that I have no choice in the matter if I want the holiday rush to go smoothly and turn out well.  I need to do the responsible thing and be prepared, whether I really want to change gears or not. 

DECK USED:  DRAGON AGE INQUISITION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Your Personal Pain / A Healing Action To Take / Possible Positive Outcome

Wiener Secession TarotYour Personal Pain – The Fool and Eight/Three of Spades -Weighing responsibility over the joy of playing the fool. This was touched upon in my reading for the Zentember challenge today as well. It has to do with feeling an inner reluctance to move away from the growth and exploration I’ve been doing over the year so far, and moving into the hard and fast responsibilities involved in preparing for the holiday rush and then riding it out when it arrives. I’m trying to not allow myself to think that having been kind to myself and going easy on myself over the spring and summer hasn’t made me lazy… but honestly?  It kinda feels like it has. And those thoughts bring with it a strong sense of disappointment in myself.

A Healing Action To Take – Queen of Spades – Instead of burying these worries or hiding from them, I need to actually listen to them with understanding and offer myself solutions that can incorporate both the responsibilities of my work along with the needs of that softer inner self. At first thought, there doesn’t feel like a lot of options here, but I think that might be my pessimism rearing it’s ugly head. 

Possible Positive Outcome – King of Spades – If I can find a way to both find as well as sustain a balance between the work I need to do and giving myself that freedom I’ve become used to and now don’t want to lose, there’s a good chance I will be able to develop a stronger interconnection allowing for clearer site that is unclouded by these issues.

Take Away – I’m not seeing the whole picture and because of it I’m feeling a sense of loss that isn’t necessary. I need to find a way to take off the blindfold that is keeping me from seeing possible solutions open to me. Finding and enacting these solutions will bring a stronger foundation to both my work, my emotional growth, and my self care along with a greater clarity on how to juggle these things in a healthy and successful way.

DECK USED:  WIENER SECESSION TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: Something that I’m stubbornly holding onto that I need to let go of?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Fear of the unknown (Wheel of Fortune).  Let go of that fear and see it as an adventure (Knight of Wands), and a whole new world of possibilities will open up to you (The World).

Take Away:  Meh… yeah.  I completely agree with this.  I do struggle with the unknown quite a bit. I feel so certain and strong on my spiritual path and life path, that when elements of the unknown crop up it makes me feel like there’s a big inky black sink hole in the middle of my path.

I know that seeing these moments as an adventure is a terrific way to get through this fear, and that in doing so it opens up a vast world of opportunities and possibilities… but sometimes it’s really hard to take those moments as an adventure, no matter how hard I try.

Side note:  The Schrodinger’s Cat card in this deck is one of my favorite cards in this deck.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I love myself more?

Haindl Tarot

Reading Summary: When you actually do your work (Three of Stones) instead of fucking around, and get it done (The Chariot), you feel a sense of accomplishment (Six of Wands) and inspiration to do more (Ace of Wands).

Take Away:  Oooph.  Okay so today’s readings are all about my work, my business, and about gearing up for the holiday rush. This makes sense, but it’s definitely a noticeable thread through my personal readings today.

Okay, anyway.  The answer to one of the ways that I can love myself more is to actually do my work instead of procrastinating or putting it off.   When I actually do my work, I lay the groundwork for self-esteem and a sense of accomplishment to bolster my self image as well as my mood, which in turn lights my inner spark for new inspirations to take fire.

DECK USED:  HAINDL TAROT

Puzzle Pieces

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IMG_6276Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and another one of the guided meditations with added interval timer to help me know when I need to change positions in my piriformis stretching.

The guided meditation topic for today’s meditation was mindful eating and spoke about how lots of people have food issues from overeating to underrating for a variety of reasons including emotional issues, scarcity issues, etc. I personally have my own issues with food, although in my case it’s about not being able to balance out my metabolism and nutritional needs. This means that I eat a -lot- of food, and considering my addictive personality issues?  It’s probably a good thing that I need to.

That said, the topic of the meditation was that we need to take more time to really sink into and enjoy our food, focusing on the flavors and textures and satiation aspect available in every bite. I do this quite often, but not all the time. I think everyone does a little “mindless eating” now and then and that it’s natural, although I can see how being more mindful of the food put into your mouth could possibly turn around some food related issues.

Botan Tarot - Two of CupsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unions, duality, and partnerships in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, and creativity.  This often comes across as harmonious attractions and themes of mutual attraction, although not always in a romantic manner.

Like most of the other cards that I’ve pulled from this deck so far this month, it isn’t any one specific element in the imagery that catches my attention.  Instead this deck seems to communicate most strongly to me through color and composition.

What I see in this imagery today is harmonious flow.  Sometimes, harmony isn’t about equality, nor is it about balance.  Sometimes it’s about working together and allowing each other’s differences to compliment each other and support each other.

It’s us.  You and me.  We are so very different, and yet together we are more than we could ever be apart.  We support each other, and we provide something each of the other of us doesn’t have.  It’s our differences that create the perfect fit and harmonious union that we have with each other.

I love you.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my sacral chakra?

English Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Libido fluctuations (imagery in Temperance) weighing heavily (Two of Coins) and creating repressed feelings of responsibility and failure (Knight of Cups Rx).

Side Note:  I was actually starting to wonder if I’d be able to read this deck.  It’s communication is a bit different than what I’ve encountered in the past and I’m struggling with it a bit.  I’ve used it in a few readings thus far, but tossed out the readings because they weren’t “flowing” with my intuition.

Take Away: I need to work at not considering my libido fluctuation as an actual failing on my part. It hasn’t been the same since the cancer and my RPLND, and I get it.  I get that all of that changed things, but I feel so fucking guilty about it having changed and like I’m not giving enough anymore.

I know that our relationship is so much more than just sex… but  sometimes I feel like such a fucking failure in this area.

DECK USED:  ENGLISH MAGIC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me feel… Excited / Happy / Calm

Science TarotWhat makes me feel excited?
Queen of Pentacles

Creation.  Manifestation.  Giving birth to something new.  An idea that is then brought into the real world.  This excites me.  Sometimes my ideas never make it to reality, other times they will eventually but have to be put on the back burner a while first.   But when my creative ideas really do get to be brought forward, worked on, and developed into something real and tangible instead of just concept and thought?   That excites me, no matter how many times it happens.

What makes me feel happy?
Judgement

It makes me happy to know that I’m on the right path.  Knowing that my intuition and moral compass are taking me in the right direction for me, and helping me to not just survive but thrive from one day to the next.  Even when I don’t do things how everyone else does, even when I often see things differently, or process things differently… in the end, my intuition and moral compass continue to steer me right and keep me on track and flourishing.

What makes me feel calm?
Two of Cups

This completely relates back to my COTD pull for today, which is to say… what makes me feel calm is Gideon.  Not just Gideon, but the fact that he is so very different than I am, so I know that I can go to him for whatever I need, whether that be perspective, support, or even validation.  He is the “missing piece” that helps me find my balance when I’m feeling off kilter.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I inspire others?

Archeon Tarot

Reading Summary: In times of uncertainty (The Moon) I inspire others to see what is good in their life (Nine of Pentacles) and to go after their heart’s desires (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  This is something that I really enjoy in life.  It brings me great pleasure to help people work through the shadows of uncertainty and clouded darkness of one’s illusions of pessimism to see that there really is value in their life and they are worth the motivation and effort needed to obtain their dreams. It’s a part of that pleasure that I take in helping others find the path that works for them.  I very much hope that what the cards say here is true.  

DECK USED:  ARCHEON TAROT

Slow Burn, Not a Flash Fire

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the bath tub.  It was so… so comfortable but at least I didn’t fall asleep this time.  I very much enjoyed the relaxation in the water for once, though.   Usually I find the tub just uncomfortable enough that I can’t meditate, but today?  It was just right and super comfortable.   Interestingly?  I also find it harder to stay awake as the water gets cooler.  When it’s really warm?  I’m wide awake, but the closer it gets to lukewarm? The more dozy I become.

Botan Tarot - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of controlled progress, and the willpower and determination to go in the direction you want to go in and see things through.

These cards (the Botan Tarot) are so damned beautiful and what stands out to me the strongest in this card today is the hint of wings present in the background behind the figure that is holding the reigns.

What these wings do for me is soften the card.  I often find the Chariot card quite harsh, and yet in this imagery I see willpower tempered by compassion, determination with a touch of restraint, as the wings are spread and thus they are catching air and creating drag. If this card were in motion, I would imagine those wings would not just catch the air but feel as if they billow with it as feathers flutter in the swirling eddies of air currents.

The message here is that it’s all well and good to know where you want to go and have the willpower and determination to get you there, but it’s important to remember that sometimes? Getting there takes time.  Not because you’re forced to go slow, but because you choose to slow down to savor the journey rather than focusing on the end goal alone.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my root chakra? (Deals with energy, stability, comfort, and safety.)

Wiener Secession TarotReading Summary:  I need to work on finding a deeper level of inner certainty (High Priestess) even in times when my life is in a state of flux (The Wheel).   The Queen of Clubs looks on at this message as if to say that by finding this inner certainty I can then flourish more fully in the endeavors that keep my spark aflame.

Take Away:  Unfortunately, outer uncertainty in my life breeds inner uncertainties about myself. That means that when things go wrong?  I don’t just start blaming myself, but also doubting myself.

That inner uncertainty about myself then creates a lack of motivation that keeps at bay the energy of the Queen’s nurturing of my inner spark. This is where a good part of my moments of “meh” come from, and when I feel those moments, I need to take time to observe where the uncertainty in my life lies in that moment, and explore how its influencing my confidence as well as my motivation.

DECK USED:  WIENER SECESSION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Create / Evoke / Balance

Cosmic Tribe TarotCreate – Five of Cups – Burnt offerings in a sea of salt. Its time to make more eggshell powder.  The last batch that Id made has lasted for quite some time, but I’ve been needing to make more for a while and keep putting it off.  I should get it done before things become so busy that it has to be put off until the New Year.

Evoke – Two of Wands – I get absolutely no intuitive hit off of the imagery in this card.  So, going by the bare bones of the RWS system… it’s time to start planning for the holiday season.  I’ve been putting it off, to be honest.  Dragging my feet and trying to just… I dunno.  Deny it’s coming?  But the fact is that it is coming, and I’m going to have to get on the ball and get my direction not just meticulously planned out but set in motion.  You can’t get moving until you start get moving.

Balance – Nine of Cups – You know that phrase “too much of a good thing”?  Well that goes for everything, including emotional fulfillment and happy feelings.  It’s important to make sure I’m not pushing myself to the point of insincerity.  Working to see the bright side and lean into optimism is one thing, but to the point where it’s fake and just a load of shit?  Too much.  Pay attention to my emotions and how I’m feeling, and be honest with myself about that even when it’d be easier to just put on a happy face and keep moving.

Side Note About This Deck – It’s gotta go.  I don’t get good vibes from the artwork at all.  I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it, but it’s definitely not for me. This is my first reading with this deck, which was added to my collection very recently…. and it’ll be my last.  It just doesn’t feel right.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TRIBE TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: A reminder of my personal wealth or personal blessing.

Tarot of the Secret Forest

Reading Summary: The ability to sit out (Eight of Cups) on the battles I need to (Strength Rx) and support others instead instead of engaging (Queen of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I have gotten the message “choose your battles wisely” more than once from the cards over the past week. And here again is that reminder, as the personal blessing that this reading speaks about is my ability to choose my battles.

A lot of times, the battles we fight are not our own, and that is true in my case as well.  There is an encouragement here that it’s okay to not get involved in other’s battles, and to support others from the sidelines instead of diving into the battle myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SECRET FOREST

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I build my confidence?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Take time (Temperance) to really explore in depth (Page of Swords) the opportunities available to me (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I’m missing something.   Not in this reading.  I mean that the cards are indicating that I’m missing some key factor in the opportunities currently available to me that could ease my discomfort with uncertainty and boost my confidence.

It’s time to take stock and make some decisions on what I want to happen and where I want things to go.  I always feel better when I have a direction, but on top of that I need to also find a way to become more comfortable with uncertainty.  This was also mentioned in an earlier reading today and has carried over into this one.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT