personal growth

Loosen Up

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I had a very difficult time focusing.  I can’t even really remember what she was talking about in this one, because my mind kept flitting off in different directions and needing to be pulled back in again.   I did stay through the entire ten minutes, though, and repeatedly brought my attention back to the now and my breath each time I caught my mind wandering off in one direction or another.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Six of Ghosts (Cups) which is a representation of harmony, vitality, and nostalgia in the area of the emotions, intuition, and relationships.

When I saw this card today, my intuition did not see nostalgia, which seems to be the most common interpretation of this card.   Instead, what I see is fun and harmony.

Today’s card is a reminder that things don’t have to be so serious all the time. It’s okay to lighten up and have some fun now and then.

This is something that I often forget.  I get so wrapped up in my goals and responsibilities, that I forget to step back and have a laugh and a lark.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.  I’ve surprisingly managed to keep this challenge going for twelve days now.

Question: Where may I need to release some control?

Deviant Moon Tarot Reading Summary: When you reach a dead end on an idea (Ten of Swords), sometimes you have to start fresh with a new perspective (The Fool), and work at making better choices the second time around (Two of Wands).

Take Away: When I run across an idea that I’ve reached a dead end on, the releasing of control referenced in the question for the reading has to do with letting go of the tight grip I have on that idea, regrouping with a new perspective, and then trying again from a place of discovery.    This is a process that is very difficult for me.  I hate letting go of ideas I get invested in, but like the an untenable position of the fellow in the box of knives on the first card, sometimes its the only way to progress.

Deck Used: Deviant Moon Tarot (Borderless Edition)

 

Battle of the Imps

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Ugh… ok so I planned to do this post after a nap when I got home… and then I slept FOREVER.   So the post is super late today.

Today’s post was ten minutes long, and focused on sitting with discomfort instead of avoiding it.   Whether this is physical pain, awkward moments, uncomfortable situations, etc, the focus was upon not running away from these situations or experiences, but rather using them as learning experiences for personal growth and education.

I learned this technique very early in life, and it has served me well.  It’s a big part of the reason that, even though I have had some rather significant hurdles and challenges in my life and not come from them unscathed, when people ask if there is anything I would change… the answer is no.  I would not be who I am without each and every one of those challenges and experiences, and I’m pretty happy with who I am.

Today’s draw was the Five of Imps (Wands) which is a representation of struggle, strife, conflict, and competition in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.

What stood out to me in this card this morning, though, isn’t the battle of the imps, Rather, it was the little demon cat in the lower left corner, and the moon watching on from above.

Today’s card is a message about not getting involved in things that have nothing to do with you. It’s OK to stand on the sidelines and watch and let them work it out for themselves.

Although this wasn’t something that applied to my day as a whole, I think that this is a really good reminder.  I’m one of those people that likes to help, but there are times when I need to remember that stepping in to help isn’t the best solution, for myself or for others.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.

Question: How can I better attune to my intuition?

Reading Summary: Don’t.  You’ll be sorry.

Take Away:  Not the answer I was anticipating when I picked up the cards to delve into this question!  That said, what I see in these cards is that I could reach for an even better connection with my intuition.  I could push on to the “next level” and do the work to find new perspectives.   But in the end?  I have other things to focus on that are better uses of my time at the moment, as I am already very much connected to my intuition, and deepening that connection more may not be something I’m ready (or able) to handle right now.

Deck Used: Le Tarot de Marseille par Pole Ka

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

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So, I’m thinking maybe I need a little bit of accountability on my Self Care Saturday spread.  For the next month, I’m going to try adding it here, as although I’m doing the spread and reading it in the moment, I find that my motivation to write it down seems to be a bit lacking.   I’m hoping that by adding it here that possibly I will be able to get myself motivated into writing it down rather than just reading the spread in the moment and moving on.

These readings are (not usually) bearing down onto any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook.  This is a self care exercise, and not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?  (Boring, I know, but helpful in pointing out where I might not realize I am neglecting or not realizing needs my attention.)

Body – Page of Wands – Be sure to approach caring for your body’s needs this week with a spirited and youthful mindset that is open to learning new methods and taking in new ideas.

Mind – Knight of Swords & The Death Card – Being aggressive in one’s thoughts and their expression will lead to endings and change that has perhaps been building for some time.

Emotions – Seven of Wands – Be willing to take some risks with your feelings and emotions.  Just be sure (and careful) of what comes out of your mouth and take the repercussions of speaking your mind into account first (see Mind).

Inner Spark – Two of Cups – One on one collaborations will feed the soul this week and keep the inner spark kindled and burning bright.

Moving Away From – Sedum / Discomfort – Testing limits and learning tolerance.  Last week I had a bit of an issue with tolerance where the helper was concerned.  Working through that may show to have created lasting change in how I see things and set in place good (new) methods to use again in the future.

Heading Towards – Cardinal / Authenticity & Aloe / Restore – By embracing my unique qualities and characteristics, I will be able to both foster my own store of energies, be refreshed from within, as well as better seated within my own skin.

Decks Used: Luminous Void Tarot, Flora Healing Cards

 

Sink Into It

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and nine seconds, and focused on the mindset of scarcity.   Struggling with a lack mentality is many times what causes people to overextend, overspend, over-commit, etc.    When in this mindset, always wanting more makes it difficult to be  happy and at peace.

This is a mentality that I personally struggle with quite a lot.  This and the fear of loss are the reasons that I work so much and push myself beyond my limits.  I fear losing my home.  I fear losing my security and comfort.   Having been in the situation where I was without so much, including a place to live for a while, it is what pushes me more than anything else.  And perhaps in some ways, these motivations are a good thing.

But, I DO understand that when that mindset of scarcity takes over, it can become problematic both to one’s physical health as well as mental health.

In the guided meditation, it speaks of a method to remove yourself from this mindset by focusing on gratitude rather than needs.   I think this is a really good message, and I have over the past few months really stepped up in my mindfulness concerning gratitude, although I’m not sure that it is helpful in my issues with scarcity, as gratitude can sometimes makes me feel like I want to hold on tighter to what I have.

This is an ongoing struggle for me and there is no resolution today, just a meandering wander through my thoughts on the matter.

Today’s draw is the 12th card in the Major Arcana, the Hanged Man.   This is a card that is near and dear to my heart, and one of my “deal breaker” cards for a deck.  (Meaning that if I don’t like the Hanged Man card in a deck, chances are very good I don’t and/or won’t want it.)   Like all cards in the Major Arcana, this card deals with one’s experiences as a whole and their journey on the path of life rather than just one aspect of that journey.

The Hanged Man is a representation of change in perspective, and taking a pause to look at something from all angles, as well as surrender and letting go.  In the Major Arcana, I view this card as the one that I most often relate to above all others, as it is the goal of looking at things from multiple perspectives that is one of the tenants of my life.  Life is not one dimensional, and although I may not agree with all view points, I very much want to be able to -see- them, understand them, and then decide for myself whether or not they “fit” for me or if I can take some greater understanding away from them.

The Hanged Man teaches, though, that sometimes in order to adjust your perspective, you must relax and sink into a receptive state of surrender.  If your walls are up, your mind and heart closed, then nothing is gained and nothing will change.  And that is very much a part of what the Hanged Man is all about… personal change.

That openness is the message in today’s card.  Early in the year, I was having a real problem with this.  With everything blocked and clogged up by the depression that slipped away with most of my spring, I remember feeling as if I was far more closed minded than I liked, and I very much disliked that in myself.   It’s not a mindset that I’m very familiar with, as although I am quite stubborn, I have a deep seated need to grasp other’s perspectives and it is one of the main ways in which I better relate to other people, as well as learn and grow.

I have found that lack of flexibility opening up in the months since the depression’s retreat, and the appearance of this card brings a conscious awareness to this aspect of the process of “getting back to myself”.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5