Grateful

Your comfort
and support
when things
fall apart
is amazing…
overwhelming
and more soothing
than ever expected.
I am afraid
and yet
your presence
comforts me…
so much.

Yesterday was so hard and so stressful, and I can’t help but be worried for myself.  Yes, I was wearing a mask and my glasses, but I still can’t help but be worried.  Hopefully the worry is for nothing.  Hopefully they either didn’t have it or I was protected enough and took the right steps to keep myself from being infected by their callous actions.  But regardless of that, I am so lucky to have you in my life.  Thank you for loving me… and for caring so very much.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Rough…

And alone
Ragged and lost
Rooted and adrift
Jagged
Angry
and yet calm
Standing tall
even as
I quake
on the inside.

Someone spit in my face today.  Spit… in… my FACE.
Because I am a courteous enough to wear a mask?  No.

Because of my Korean heritage.

“Go back to China and take the virus back with you,” he said.

Fuck you too asshole.  I was born here.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Mood

Quiet thunder
rhythmic purrs
thrumming deep
Loud and smooth
No matter how grumpy
angry or sad
those little rumbles
wash over me
soothe the senses
and help me breathe.

Miss Luna’s purr is the most amazing sound in the world to me.  It comforts and relaxes me when I’ve had a stressful day or can’t seem to shake a bad mood, washing over me and helping me let go and relax.  She is not a particularly clingy cat, but she comes to curl up with me when I need those knots untangled, wedging her little butt up against the side of my my head and kneading at my hair as she rumbles rhythmically in my ear.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Independence

Standing strong
isn’t easy
but independence
doesn’t mean
you never lean
upon others
or ask for help.
It means that
even when you do
those things
you continue to walk
your own path.

When we first got together, I was terrified that our relationship would decimate my independence.  I did not want to be under the thumb of another, nor controlled by someone… anyone other than myself.   I have come to learn, though, that it is still very much possible to be both fiercely independent and in a loving and supportive relationship.  I’ve learned this because you were patient enough to not just teach me it can happen… but show me it is possible.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Cozy

Soft and comfy
like a fuzzy blanket
time with you
soothes my soul
comforts my heart
and wraps me
in a sense of
peace
I can find nowhere else

I’m so glad that we’ve gotten some time together the last few days.  I hadn’t realized how much I was needing that warm and cozy feeling you provide in these hours spent together, or how much that time creates a soothing balm on my soul and helps me find that place in my heart where everything feels just a bit more right in the world.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography