Monstarot

Healthy Retreat vs. Bad Timing

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was an energy cleansing exercise using selenite and black tourmaline at the end for helping in closing things back up after.   It was very relaxing and went far more quickly than I thought it would.  I hadn’t actually set a timer, just the interval chimes for changing my piriformis positions.   It went well and was very relaxing.

Next World Tarot - The HermitToday’s draw is The Hermit card, which is traditionally a representation of retreating for self reflection and contemplation.  This isn’t about retreating to hide, but rather because sometimes when you are digging deep into yourself you need to do it away from others so that you can lower your defenses and get a clear look at what’s going on and the path to take forward.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the artwork of this card is the colors. The absolutely speak to me of being alone, but they don’t speak to me of the healing that is needed. It means that the imagery on this card today speaks to me not about alone time, but about retreat and closing off.

I feel like closing off today.  I feel like a bit of a failure today, and a disappointment. The thing is?  A little alone time or self reflection may be a good thing, but too much is unhealthy… as is bad timing. Now?  Is bad timing.  It’s not healthy to let these feelings fester and grow, and if I follow that urge to close off right now?  That’s exactly what will happen.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What can I do to prepare myself for obstacles along my healing journey?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure that I don’t allow my fears (Nine of Swords) to close me off from (The Hermit Rx) the emotional support and healing warmth that others have to offer (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  When I am feeling vulnerable, I find it extremely difficult to reach out to others, especially for comfort and emotional support.  This is not a healthy way to deal with things, and the cards here indicate that I need to not just keep in mind that there are people that want to support me, but that my healthiest and most healing option is to reach out to them and allow that support and comfort to wash over me.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Which is more real… mind or matter?

Vivid Journey TarotReading Summary: Matter carries on (Ten of Pentacles) long after the mind has passed on (The Fool), no matter the legacy we wish to leave behind (Queen of Wands).

Take Away:  Reincarnation is very much a part of my faith, and thus the Fool in this spread is a representation of rebirth.  And yet, in our rebirth, we do not automatically maintain the memories of our past lives and experiences. We must start anew.  This is why love and wisdom are shared while you are alive, and material possessions are passed on after death.   The continued existence of material items even after the death of the mind and moving on of the soul, therefore, makes material more real (in our human reality).

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Air, how should I begin to apply your teachings?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Work at looking at your work in a different way (Eight of Pentacles atop The Hanged Monster) and resting when you need it (Four of Swords). The emotional and inspirational connection will come back if you stick with it (Ace of Cups with Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The teachings referred to here have to do with yesterday’s reading about bringing emotions, pleasure, and joy back into my work.  The answer here is that it’s something that will come over time with a bit of determination, as long as I make sure to be mindful about instilling this more joyful perspective into my work and make sure I’m not allowing myself to become overburdened or burnt out by taking healing rest when needed.

When I am overburdened, I shut out the pleasure and joy and emotions… and bear down on the responsibility aspects.  To instill these tenants back into my work, it is important to avoid putting myself in situations where the urge to block out these things rises up.  Be aware, pay attention, and act with intention rather than reacting.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I get better at expressing my feelings without hurting others?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: Take a pause (Four of Pentacles). What would Gid do? (Knight of Cups) Approach as a friend (Three of Cups) and climb that hill slowly and carefully (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is about moving slowly rather than just blurting out in a reactionary manner.  By taking a pause and actively looking to others who express their emotions in more socially accepted ways, I can then learn how to express my own better as well.

There is also a reminder here that I need to approach those that I’m trying to speak to about my feelings as a friend.  This is another skill that is something I’m learning, as my normal mode is not usually so… warm.   These are skills that take time to learn, but I am on that path.  I just need to remember not to get impatient and careless.  It’s not a sprint, but a long journey of growth.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Confidence vs. Ego

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and a simple relaxing harp strings meditation with an intermittent timer just to keep me on track.  I did some basic piriformis stretching, but nothing particularly strenuous or difficult.  I just wanted a nice, peaceful meditation and that’s exactly what I got for once.

Next World Tarot - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of an active, projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive.

Interestingly, although I usually relate pretty strongly to the Knight of Wands, the imagery in this card just… doesn’t do it for me.   The barren ground… the smirking expression.  It’s just doesn’t speak of that drive that I usually associate with this card.

Instead, what I see here is ego. It’s that “Yeah baby, I’m so good my farts don’t stink… they fly like chocolate flavored eagles in a sky that wants to emulate my fashion sense.”

Cracks up… and there’s the message right? Watch your ego. Don’t get too cocky.  Confidence is great, but don’t let it go so far that it becomes a detriment  and blinds you to your own flaws and mistakes.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What do I think a healing journey “should” look like?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: A well planned out direction (Two of Wands), leading to epiphany moments (Judgement), followed by better balance (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Yes, I know that that vision of what a healing journey should look like is unrealistic.  Nothing is ever that simple.   But when I imagine what a “healing journey” should look like… that’s what my idea scenario feels like.  A plotted course that has a plan on where I intend to end up and how I’m going to get there, and moments of realization and epiphany along the way that assist in finding new perspectives and easing self judgements, followed by a healed self with better balance in the different areas of my life as a byproduct.   It’s a wonderful fantasy, yeah?

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Remember / Forgive / Forget

Spark and Pen TarotRemember – Two of Wands and King of Pentacles
Remember what you’ve learned about planning turning into paying off. I’m not sure that this is a lesson I’m going to forget very soon, but there are times when I do forget… usually when my enthusiasm and excitement cause me to get carried away.  The message here in these cards though is that you need a direction to climb in in order to reach the top.

Forgive – Six of Cups and The Moon
Forgive yourself for the times in life when you’ve been uncertain and stop beating yourself up about them. In my youth, I made a number of bad choices and a there was a lot of trial and error in learning how to survive on my own and thrive. Sometimes I look back on those times and some of the things I’d done… and I feel a disappointment and negative judgement. The cards here are indicating that instead of holding onto these things, I need to let them go and forgive myself for them.

Forget – Page of Wands and Five of Cups
Forget the hardships that came with learning how to get where you are. Shit happened… There were doubts… That’s no reason to keep emotionally rehashing the past and those learning experiences. You learned the lessons and can retain them without the need to hold on to the emotional pleasantries and negative inner narrative that comes up when these hardships and all that happened during them are rehashed.

Take Away – Hold onto the lessons and let go of the blame and negative self judgement. Everyone learns some lessons in life the hard way, and that’s okay.  Plot  your course to success, and leave the past in the past where it belongs.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Where can the element of Air empower my psyche?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Enthusiasm (Ace of Wands) and intuition (The High Priestess), flavored by a go get’em creative flow at its core (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  The element of air empowers my psyche by giving me the tools to go after what inspires my creativity.  Those tools are a combination of enthusiasm and intuition.  As my creativity carries me forward and I dive into those things that stir up my creative juices, it’s those elements of enthusiasm and intuition that feed into and swirl through my creativity to allow manifestation and actual creation to take place.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me pain?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Creativity and imagination (Page of Cups) drawing praise from others (Six of Wands), that ends up resulting in being alone (The Hermit).

Take Away:  There have been many times in my life where I’ve had my imagination and creativity flowing, while being encouraged and praised by those around me. That imagination and creativity seems to draw them in and their praise makes me feel like maybe there is a connection there between me and these people, and yet instead of sticking around when I need a little time to myself, they always end up disappearing for good and leaving me alone when I come back from my temporary retreats into myself.  This experience has made me feel used… which, of course, hurt.

This was an unexpected result of the reading of this question.  Not that it’s not true… it absolutely is.  It’s just not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about or examining before.  A lot of the really thought provoking answers I’ve gotten lately have been about how I relate to others.  This reading adds into those previous readings, creating another angle of perspective for them.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

Pulling Out the Blade

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Today’s meditation was eight minutes long, and was mostly just my lying there trying to stay still and fidgeting because I had so much to get done and couldn’t manage to ignore the fact long enough to settle and do some pranayama and stretching in peace.

Next World Tarot - Three of SwordsToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of heartache, hurt, grief, and emotional pain.

The Swords suit is about the mind, and this is especially evident in this particular card, because the Three of Swords is about the head, not the heart…. or rather, it’s about how the head can affect the heart and tear it apart if given the free reign to do so.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the shark.  The shark is actually the hilt of one of the swords, and as mentioned, the Swords represent the mind.  I see that shark hilted sword as the most vicious of them all, and it makes me think of that inner voice that we all have that likes to rip us up inside.  That inner critic we try to hide from others… even while it whispers incessantly in our ear.

The heart in this imagery is in such very bad condition, and the imagery speaks a truth that is sometimes hard to accept. You can’t heal the damage until you pull out the blade.  This is why it’s important to work at quieting that inner critic and fostering optimism and hope… these are things that help heal those wounds and provide the strength needed to pull out those blades stuck in one’s wounded heart.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How does wishing I’d never experienced the trauma hinder me from healing it?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: You cannot learn from (Page of Wands) and fully lay claim your present (King of Wands and King of Pentacles) without accepting your past (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  When you are generous with yourself, giving yourself room and time and a depth of understanding, you are then giving yourself space to learn how to process and move past your trauma.  That then allows you to stand stronger than you were before, and move forward with more confidence than you would manage to obtain by avoiding the healing and just wishing the trauma away.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Does luck (good or bad) actually exist?

Hilda TarotReading Summary: Sometimes enthusiasm can lead you to making reckless choices (Ace of Wands) and putting yourself in danger by doing stupid shit (The Devil), and yet you still come out the other side just fine, a little older and wiser (Queen of Cups) and yet otherwise unscathed.

Take Away:  I’m not entirely sure of my own personal opinion on this question, but the story told here in these cards clearly indicates that yes, luck does exist.

Sometimes?  Anticipated consequences just don’t happen, even when all logic and common sense dictates that they should. I would consider that luck… wouldn’t you?

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Something I can take pride in about myself is…

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary: I am very good at balancing my need for stability and structure (Queen of Discs) with my spirituality (The High Priestess) and intuitive gifts (Strength).

Take Away:  I’ve never really thought of this as something to take pride in?  That’s not to say that the quality isn’t a good thing.  I’m very happy with the fact that I’m able to have this balance and be comfortable in my beliefs and abilities (with the exception of occasional growth spurts that take me by surprise).  But… pride?  Then again, I guess maybe I do have a sort of quiet  fissure of pride in this beneath the surface.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I safely share more of my gifts with the world?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Don’t (Nine of Wands). The better, if not necessarily easier, choice (Two of Swords) is to develop them at your own pace (Page of Cups).  You can then apply them to your life and your goals (Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Whenever the topic comes up about sharing my creativity, I always end up getting warning cards and roadblock cards.  And, here they are again.  “How can I safely share more?”… answer “NO!”  Right?

Ooph.

The cards indicate that it’s important to keep my creative projects and ideas close to my chest.  Sometimes this can be really difficult.  When you have an idea that’s super awesome and you want to shout it from the rooftops, it can be really difficult not to share.  That is where the Two of Swords comes in, because the struggle involved in keeping things to yourself is really difficult sometimes.

In this reading, it makes it clear, though, that keeping things to myself while I learn and develop my skills is very important.  Then, in that time when I am ready to apply these creative pursuits to my life and my goals… that is the time to share them.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

I Was a Jerk

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Today’s meditation was non-existent.  As anticipated, I pulled an all-nighter last night to get through my orders and get them out to be shipped today.  I then made the trip up north to check my mail and… god it was a long drive.  Even with J along to drive part of the way.

Getting home, even if I shaved a good hour off the trip by driving like a nutcase, all I could think about was sleep. So… yeah.  I slept.  A lot.  And there was no meditation.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card is the expression on the woman’s face in the picture, and the lotus that she cups in her hands. She’s seen it all, she’s been beaten down and yet still has the strength to keep going, and the compassion to hold space and gentleness for the delicate lotus.

There is empathy here, and that is something that I really lacked today.  I’m so sorry about being a dick and making you cry. I love you so fucking much and just because I was tired and riding a bit of an anxiety wave is no excuse for treating you badly or being a jerk. I love you.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: What can I do to meet that need revealed in yesterday’s cards?

Monstarot

Reading Summary:  Own what you have done (King of Pentacles) with understanding (The Luminary) so that you can move forward (The World).

Take Away:  The need revealed in yesterday’s cards was about accepting the part that the past plays on our present and future instead of struggling against it.  Acceptance of this isn’t easy for me, but to meet that need head on I need to own my part in things and treat what has happened in the past with loving understanding and an open heart.  By not closing myself off to the influences of the past, I allow myself to move forward more smoothly into the future, and not end up stuck and stagnant.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best advance on what was revealed in yesterday’s cards?

Big Things In Small Packages TarotReading Summary: Allow others to help you in getting things done (Three of Pentacles) so you don’t end up stuck in place (Four of Pentacles). Their help will create the motivation you need (Knight of Wands) while taking off some of the pressure you’re putting yourself under (hot tub imagery in the Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  Sometimes, even the smallest of things can feel like it’s just too much.  That overwhelm can create stagnancy as you hesitate to move forward under the pressure that is real regardless of being all in your mind.  By inviting others in to help, it takes some of that pressure off of you, and allows things to move forward more smoothly, creating momentum in the process.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Fire, when I am ready and willing to create, where do I begin?

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary:  Make the choice (The Lovers) to go with what is familiar and what you are well versed in (King of Swords).  When you conquer these things (Five of Swords), it will give you confidence and success (Nine of Discs), as well as freedom to enjoy life rather than feeling under constant pressure (imagery in the Nine of Discs).

Take Away:  Although new ideas and projects are always shiny and tempting, sometimes when you start on a creative path, it’s the familiar things you do well that are more in need of your attention and more beneficial to your goals.  These familiar tasks are the path to success, even if you have to go to battle to get there.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What inspires me?

Hilda Tarot

Reading Summary: Collaboration in that I need someone to tell me when something is a bad idea (Three of Pentacles) so that my creative juices flow towards (Six of Cups) opening up to better methods (Nine of Wands Rx).

Take Away: I’m inspired by roadblocks.  I’m inspired by those that give me constructive feedback that allows me to search for answers and grow instead of shut me down.  Being open and not defensive with those that help provide me with this type of feedback stoke the creative fire within me that allows me to stretch my creativity and abilities.

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Conquering Pessimism

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Today’s meditation was forgone for sleep.  A lot of sleep.  Like… way more sleep than I usually get or need.  Between pulling an all nighter last night and then sleeping away a good part of the day… and then taking a nap later in the evening that slept away a lot more of my day, I didn’t have a lot of time for much else and meditation did not make the list when weighed against food, pulling my daily cards, and spending some time with you before sleep once again took over. So… no meditation today and I’m not even going to try and fool myself into thinking I’m going to try at bed time because I’m tired and it’s not going to happen.

The ChariotToday’s draw is The Chariot card, which is traditionally interpreted as being all about controlled progress and triumph.  When I say “controlled progress” I mean that it is not about just control or just progress, but about the combination of both.  It’s about moving forward with your hands firmly on the reigns.

That said, what stands out to me in this card is the position of the Fae on the back of the pegasus.  Arms outstretched, head thrown back, to me this card speaks more about the triumph aspect of The Chariot than it does about the strength of one’s control or willpower along the path.

I see abandon here and the “Fuck YES!” of exultation.

The message in today’s card is to turn my attention to my accomplishments and take pride in those things.  Too often I find myself focused on my failings and struggles, but the truth is that I have just as many accomplishments as I do failings, and just as many things I do well and excel at as I do struggles.  It’s time to take a bit more control of my pessimism and negative self talk by turning my focus in a more positive direction.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: What role does guilt play in my struggle to create and enforce boundaries?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA Tarot

Reading Summary:  Theft of what doesn’t belong to me (Seven of Swords) leading to others feeling without what they want or need (Page of Swords Rx) and turning to me with judging eyes (Six of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  Sometimes when I create and enforce the needed boundaries that are healthy for me, I feel like I’m stealing away time or space that belongs to someone else, leaving them feeling bereft which I then worry will turn into judgement directed my way.  So really, the influence here is twofold.  It’s about the guilt of taking from someone else, and the insecurity of having their feelings about that turn people against me.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to work through my frustrations at this time?

MonstarotReading Summary:  Delve into my creative curiosity (Page of Cups) and allow it to carry me away (The Star) rather than focusing on only (Eight of Swords) the negative aspects and pessimistic views of what I don’t have or that isn’t working (Five of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It’s okay to have a little bit of pessimism, but not when it blinds you to all the good stuff and holds you back from connecting with your imagination and creative spirit. The thing is that pessimism is like a parasite.  The longer it’s allowed to survive and thrive, the more it grows, until it permeates your life and influences everything within it, creating blinders as it goes, so that the longer it thrives the narrower your view becomes.   Escaping that grip takes conscious choices and determination to embrace the more positive and lighthearted aspects of life.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Earth, how can I further support my personal well-being?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary:  The balancing of your obligations and responsibilities (Two of Coins) requires the help of others (Three of Coins).  Be the boss rather than the slave (The Emperor).

Take Away:  This is all about taking charge and delegating.  Don’t just allow things to build and pile up, delegate some responsibility to others to make sure that you aren’t left doing everything yourself.  It’s your nature to take on all the weight, but it’s not all yours to bear.  Take charge and show how you want things done, how you want them to go, and then hand over the task to others to complete for you.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I be more grateful?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary:You need to look at uncertainty (The Moon) from a different perspective (The Hanged Man) that involves you in a place of balanced security (Four of Wands).

Take Away: So a lot of times when I (or anyone really) looks at their insecurities and uncertainties, instead of looking at them from “the outside” in a place of safety, we try to look at these things from inside the chaos and uncertainty.   This then tinges our perspectives.   If you can take a moment to pause, and step outside of the situation, it’s often much easier to see what’s going on more clearly.   This clarity allows for you to not just understand what’s going on, but identify the good and be grateful for it.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT