#MidnightTarotChallenge

Sustainable Strength

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and attached to the end of my yoga/physiotherapy session, which was extra long today as I’ve been struggling with a bit of increased immobility in my right hip, probably due to my lack of visits the sports medicine clinic over the past month or so that they’ve been closed due to the pandemic and the lockdown orders.

I was aware when they closed down that it would be a bit of an issue.  I was hoping that the stiffness that I experienced when my ribs slid out of alignment and settled into their current position that that would be the worst of it.  Apparently there is more to come.

Knight of Oak - Knight of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Knight of Oak (Knight of Pentacles) which is a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the areas of resources, health, finance, and the physical world. This often translates into themes that deal with the steady progress of hard work and routine (as opposed to the more rash energy of the other knights) as well as topics that have to do with the steady attainment, sustainability, and conservation of resources.

Honestly?  Whenever I see the imagery in this card, it makes me think of you.  Not that I see you as the Knight of Pentacles, but rather that there is something in the imagery itself that reminds me of you being both reasonable and resourceful at the same time.

And that is where the message of today’s card resides.   It is in that steady and reasonable energy of using one’s resources wisely and plotting the course that makes sure that those resources retain sustainability for the future. Although, unlike when I see you in the card, this message is not found  today in the figure or the moose, but rather in the water at the feet of the moose and the touch of the hand upon it.

Today’s message is a reminder that I have the capability to make our resources work for as long as needed to get through this mess with the pandemic and closures, etc.  I can and will stretch what we need and find that resourcefulness to make it through and bring those I care about through it with me.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

 

Self Nurturing Is Important

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and was another of those guided “contact your spirit guide” meditations which… was another flop.

Honestly?  This one was all about the narrator’s voice.  I really did try to stay focused and allow my body to relax into the meditation, but her voice was just so…. ugh.  Not nasally or scratchy but somehow still grating.  I can’t really explain it.  I was sure I could relax to the voice and yet some odd quality in it just… wouldn’t allow me to relax enough to get into the meditation.

Queen of Oak - Queen of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Queen of Oak (Queen of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of the physical world, nature, resources, etc.  This translates into themes to do with a blend of practicality and strength combined with nurturing receptivity.

What really stands out to me in this image is the touch of hands over the heart and the life blood that mixes with the honey.  It speaks to me as a reminder that even as you care for others, you still need to care for yourself as well.

I think that the message here and how it relates to my life is pretty self explanatory.  I’m not the greatest at balancing my self care into the rest of my life and responsibilities, and that is what today’s card is encouraging me to work harder at.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Am I settling for less than I deserve?

New Liminal Tarot

Reading Summary: I spend too much time working alone (Three of Discs). I need to accept the help of others more readily, and will gain more strength as a result (Strength).

Take Away:  The answer is yes.  I am settling for less than I deserve because I don’t accept help from others as readily as I should.  In accepting that help, it does not create a vulnerability or a weakness, even if this is what I have always been taught as a child.  Instead, the ability to accept help from others is a strength, and one I need to work on developing if I want to stop settling for less than I deserve.

DECK USED:  NEW LIMINAL TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What expectations am I holding for myself that need to be shed?

Universal Celtic TarotReading Summary: I lean too heavily on trying to find value in past experience (Six of Pentacles) instead of accepting with quiet strength (King of Swords) that sometimes discomfort and uncertainty is just what it is (The Moon) and moving on from it (Eight of Wands).

Take Away:  I truly do believe that our experiences are there to teach us something.  If not to develop our human mind and self, than to teach and develop our inner spirit.  The cards indicate that maybe sometimes I spend a little too much time looking for that benefit and finding answers to fill in where confusion resides, rather than just letting things go and moving on from them.

DECK USED:  UNIVERSAL CELTIC TAROT

 

Contentment and Gratitude

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3766Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon using the 4-7-8 breathing technique to help  in lowering stress and inducing a sense of relaxation.

This is actually a method that I use regularly in the day to day, and often during my meditation.  It involves breathing in a full deep breath for a count of four, then holding that air in for a count of seven, then exhaling slowly to a count of eight.

When I use this technique, I use my heartbeats as the method of counting in order to make sure that the pace stays even through the entire process, and I’ve found it to be extremely beneficial in assisting me in relaxing during times of high stress.

Nine of Brine - Nine of Cups - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Brine (Nine of Cups) which is traditionally a representation of themes concerning satisfaction and attaining a state of contentment and comfortable completion in the area of one’s emotions and relationships.

What I see here is comfort and security, which I suppose is very much along the themes of contentment. The bones on the shore speak to me of a lot that has been lost by both parties, and yet the elephant and the youth move together in the shallows, leaning upon each other and taking comfort in each other.

This speaks to me of remembering what you have and appreciating it. Times of struggle and hardship can rip people apart, or they can bring people closer.  By approaching the relationships you have during these times with a sense of gratitude, it allows those relationships to strengthen rather than deteriorate.

I am currently experiencing this first hand with both my sister and Z.  This opportunity to spend so much time with both of them is a struggle, but it has also brought us closer.   The same, too, can be said for the drop and the bond formed as  I lean on you during those times of vulnerability.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: What impact is stress having on my life at this time?

Fairy Lights Tarot

Reading Summary:   Disconnect is shown in the curve of the “horn” that, in this reading looks to me like a disconnected umbilical cord that has been parted from the figure with the hole in its torso.  Others look on in horror, indicating that this disconnect involves a sense of loss.

Scarcity is seen in the center card, depicted in the colors of the card as well as the sharp thorns of light scattered throughout the image and slumped figures.  The imagery feels like needs that are sharp and painful and not being satisfied.

Loss is what I see depicted in the last card.  A sense of mourning in the curling slump of the figures in the center of the image and the curl of their hands and arms.  The blue feels stark instead of comforting.

Take Away:  This is less about how it is effecting my life and more about how it can very easily turn around and bite me in the ass if I’m not careful.   Stress, that is.   It has the potential to pull me into a mindset of disconnection and scarcity where  I fear loss and, as a result, struggle with these emotions as they drag me down and jumble up my head and heart.

There is no symmetry in these cards, speaking of that confusion.  No easy flow going on here.  Instead, everything is discordant, just like my emotions when stress starts to become overwhelming and eat away at me.

DECK USED:  FAIRY LIGHTS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What new perspective is waiting for me to be realized?

Forager's Daughter TarotReading Summary: I am not immune (Five of Swords) to the need for celebration and fun (Four of Wands) and need to make sure I’m taking a break from responsibilities (The Fool) now and then.

Take Away:  Ew… I don’t like this reading.  *Cracks up.*  But, I’m not saying it’s not true either, just that the idea of taking a break from responsibility in order to fool around and have a good time goes against my very nature.  I do understand that it’s a necessary part of life to cut loose now and then and I’m not exempt from the same human needs as everyone else… it’s just not easy for me to let it happen.  So yeah, as far as realizations waiting to be realized?  This is a good one where I am concerned.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

 

I Am Loved and Protected

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3842Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and on a topic that I’m actually trying to distance myself from a bit.   That is, the topic of detaching oneself and disassociating from one’s emotions.

The purpose of this is so that those emotions can run free and you can observe them as an outside observer.  But the fact is?  I’m not sure that in my case, encouraging that detachment is necessarily a good thing.   It comes too easy for me and I take it to unhealthy lengths.

I do agree with the second part of the point of this meditation though, which is that while the emotions are present you keep in mind that they are only temporary. This is something I work hard to keep in mind when I’m dealing with depression, and I think it is a good thing to try as well when dealing with other negative emotions that I might find confusing and overwhelming.

Four of Oak - Four of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Oak (Four of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of stability and security in the areas of the physical world, resources, health, and finances.

What I see in this card today has more to do with hearth and home than with monetary themes or any sort of business or gains.   It has to do with the curled stone children that the mountain goat looks over so carefully.  This speaks to me of stability that is given rather than earned.  The stability that I receive, for example, from you during those times when I am feeling at my most vulnerable.

The message in today’s card is a reminder that that stability is there for me whenever I need it, even when I don’t always realize I need it.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do the judgements of others hold me back?

Chrysalis Tarot

Reading Summary:  When I put too much weight on what others are thinking (Seven of Scrolls) it can cause me to miss out on all the fun (The Sun) and new opportunities (The Hero).

Take Away:  Confidence comes from within and from focusing upon the positive.  These cards are a reminder that when I allow others opinions of me to hold too much weight, those opinions can end up influencing my own self image and in turn hold me back from the good stuff in life.

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What can I look forward to in the near future?

Lili White TarotReading Summary: The opportunity (Fool) to jump forward into the pursuit of my passions (Son of Wands) in a positive and balanced manner (Justice).

Take Away:  I’ve been in a bit of a holding pattern with my business and the majority of my interests lately, just as most people have been.  This has opened me up to delving into a few different projects that I’ve been interested in that have nothing to do with my business, such as the wood burning I’ve been working on and practicing with in preparation for a project I have in mind,  and the fostering the growth of some new plants out on my balcony.   The cards in this draw indicate that now (and the near future) is an ideal time to enjoy these pursuits.

DECK USED:  LILI WHITE TAROT

 

Caution and Defense

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was non existent not because I didn’t try to do it, but because within barely a minute of getting settled into the meditation… I fell asleep.   The nice part of that?  Was that it was out in the field on the farm, which felt really refreshing when I woke up, regardless of the fact that I didn’t actually get the meditation part in.

Seven of Flame - Seven of Swords - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Flame (Seven of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of themes that have to do with standing up for oneself, as well as conflict for the purpose of defense and protection.

Aww, look at the little vtiligo child. I really love this imagery and the inclusion that’s involved in this deck as a whole. I love that it also wasn’t billed as an inclusive deck, either, and yet is very much exactly that.

What really stood out to me in this card’s imagery today has to do with the tender flesh of the child among all those long, sharp tusks.   And yet the child remains unharmed even as the narwhal swim and circle.   It speaks to me of treading lightly so that you don’t hurt those more vulnerable than yourself.

This can be true even when using words as opposed to tusks.  Those you care about deserve the added care to make sure you don’t hurt them unintentionally.  I think we all do that sometimes, say something and it just comes out wrong either in tone or words, and hurt people as a response… but that fact that we all do it sometimes? It doesn’t mean that it’s not important to still take care.  Just as the narwhal take care with the child so that they don’t cause harm.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: What opportunity do I have to support others?

Considerate Cat Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Providing perspective on “tower moment” situations in order to allow others to see that change happens and is necessary is one of my greatest strengths that I can share with others. Just remember that sometimes that message is not going to be well received, no matter how well intended or how much they may need to hear it.

Take Away:  Sometimes I get a bit frustrated when I run up against those walls others put up.  Walls used to stay miserable and wallow in the negative, yeah?  It is a struggle for me to just… accept that they truly want or need to wallow in that.  The cards here address that in the last two cards, reminding me that as I share my gifts with others and make efforts to lift them up, there will always be those that choose to remain where they are, no matter how bad that spot they’re in mentally or emotionally may suck.  The opportunity here is to remember to focus on those that will welcome my help, and leave the others to their own devices.

DECK USED:  CONSIDERATE CAT TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I criticize myself most often?

Bunny Tarot

Reading Summary: When I’m feeling as if I’m falling behind or struggling to keep up (Five of Cups) and my intuition has fizzled out as a result (High Priestess), I lose the ability to take possession (Emperor) of my emotions as they arise (Ace of Cups) and my inner critic pounces forward to pick and probe at my vulnerabilities.

Take Away:  My struggle to understand my emotions and deal with them in a healthy manner is one of my greatest vulnerabilities.  As a result, when negative emotions rear their ugly head, especially if I’m dealing with subdrop or depression, my intuition recedes a bit and leaves me wide open for my inner critic to pounce and make things worse.

DECK USED:  BUNNY TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I attract more abundance into my life?

Cry Baby TarotReading Summary: Pay more attention to the emotional abundance in my life (Ten of Cups) and stop focusing so strongly on my need to protect (Seven of Wands) my home and hearth and financial stability (Ten of Pentacles)

Take Away:  Things are pretty well balanced with my life and yet I continue to feel overly protective of that balance and stability to the point of obsession.   The cards here indicate that I need to turn my focus to enjoying the pleasure of having those around me that I love and that everything is actually pretty good right now concerning my relationships with others, rather than continuing to be constantly cautious and watchful to the point of paranoid concerning threats to the more material factors in my life.

DECK USED:  CRY BABY TAROT

 

The Sky Is Falling

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

sacredToday’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and a bit different than my normal meditation.   I tried another of those “meet your spirit guides” meditations from YouTube.

There’s a couple of different things that I realized from today’s meditation that might be why I’m struggling with the guided meditations of this nature.

The first thing is the fact that they don’t really do any sort of guided relaxation beforehand.  They just jump right in without any “take a breath” or “relax your muscles” or any relaxation technique before getting started.    I think that this is something that would really help me in finding that level of consciousness that would get me where I need to be in the meeting your guides part of the meditation.

The second thing that I noticed is that literally all of the meditations I’ve tried on this topic are essentially astral travel assisted connections. They all involve the whole “rising above” out of body type guidance that you are given for astral travel work.  The problem with this is that I don’t astral travel. Can’t, actually.  The prevailing theory is that it is because I’m so grounded, and so deeply rooted into that grounding, that I can’t rise into that airy un-grounded space and float free. Regardless of the reason why, though, the fact of the matter is that I did really well with the meditation right up until the point that they tried to get me into the astral plane, and then… it all fell to shit.

So… I will keep trying.  Maybe if I listen to enough of them sooner or later I will have learned enough of the non-astral methodology that I can then piece those parts together into a more grounded method that might work specifically for me.

Nine of Zephyrs - Nine of Swords - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Zephyrs (Nine of Swords) which is traditionally a representation of worries, anxieties and mental overwhelm leading to themes that do with anxiety and occasionally mental illness.

When I saw the card today, what really stuck out to me was the phrase “the sky is falling” which then brought to mind the story of Chicken Little from which that phrase originated.

This story is essentially about blowing things out of proportion which I didn’t really have a match for until this evening and the need to step back from a situation and allow others to deal with and handle it.  Normally, it’s the sort of situation I would step in and act on, but I was unable to do so in this instance because I might have been overreacting and blowing things out of proportion due of my own personal issues concerning those involved.

It was… ridiculously hard to step away.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Am I ethically obligated to improve myself?

White Sage TarotReading Summary: When you improve yourself (Page of Wands) you create a healing and stability (Four of Swords) that spreads outward to heal the world (The Sun).

Take Away:  Absolutely. As I improve myself, I subsequently improve the world around me. Ethically speaking, it is the most base and basic way in which we can improve the world and the lives of others. Butterfly effect. 

DECK USED:  WHITE SAGE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does my inner critic say to me most often?

Shadowland Tarot

Reading Summary: It picks at my scarcity issues (Four of Cups) and my fear of losing my stability (Two of Pentacles). Other two cards are advice. Be good to yourself (Empress) and lighten up (The Sun).  And, just sayin’? That Four of Cups so very speaks to me of those scarcity issues btw. LOL

Take Away:  Scarcity and my fear of things falling apart are really my biggest fears, and are also the fears that were triggered the most strongly at the beginning of this pandemic.  Although I’ve gotten a handle on those fears, that is where my inner critic tries to pick at the most when it raises its ugly head.

The cards were also kind enough to give me encouragement, though (cuz I pushed for a third card rather than letting it stick with the first two) in the form of advice, reminding me that I need to be kind to myself and make an effort to strive towards optimism when my inner critic is trying to pick at those worries.

DECK USED:  SHADOWLAND TAROT