Morning Bonus Read – Difficulties

Difficulties Tarot Spread - The Lunatic Tarot

What is difficult right now?
Ace of Wands

Keeping my motivation up and running when there’s so much to do and so little time.  It becomes frustrating to feel continuously like you’re falling behind only to have a moment of “Oh, I’m caught up” show up now and then for a moment long enough to get one deep breath before the race continues.

What can I learn from this struggle?
Judgement

Sometimes it makes me feel like I want to just set it all aside and walk away, and then I remember why I’m doing all this and it helps me stay the course. It’s about independence, and being able to live my life on my terms how I want to live.

What will help me move through it?
Knight of Wands atop Seven of Swords

Strategy and cunning carried forward on my desires for what I want to accomplish.  This is about determination and willpower, and the clever cunning to find a way to do it no matter what.  My skill at making sure I come out on top, even while being carried through the most violent of rapids, is what will help me move through this time of lack of motivation and struggle with my inspirational spark.

What do I have to look forward to?
Four of Cups

Soon enough you’ll have time to rest and recover and meditate and enjoy all that off time again that you were struggling to get used to in the summer.  And… you’ll probably struggle with again when the opportunity returns.

DECK USED:  THE LUNATIC TAROT

Modulating Enthusiasm

I’ve managed to fall behind yet again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 11th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of exuberance and a intensity directed towards one’s focus through passion and drive.  This card is about inspired action and the embodiment of the phrase “Go get’em cowboy.”

What I see in the imagery of this card today is overkill.  That, too, is a part of the meaning behind the Knight of Wands.  Impulsive action and overkill often go hand in hand with feelings of enthusiasm and drive.

The message here is about moderation.  It’s great to be motivated, and spectacular to feel a sense of enthusiasm for a purpose or project.  But the thing is?  When you get too carried away in those feelings of motivation and enthusiasm, it’s very easy to become destructive to yourself, to those around you, and to the project at large.

It’s important to remember not to let those feelings of motivation and enthusiasm carry you away to the point that you become a destructive force instead of a productive one.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Mars Question
: An obstacle, or blockade, I am asked to deal with.

Antique Anatomy Tarot Mass Market Edition

Reading Summary: There’s a big difference between avoidance (Four of Elixirs), and moderation (Temperance). Avoidance (Eight of Blades) leads to overburdening and overwhelm (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  I need to work on learning the difference because I excel far to well at avoidance… and not well enough at moderation.  The cards here indicate that my tendency toward avoidance is a part of the problem that causes me to hit overwhelm and burnout.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT MASS MARKET EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: What harsh truths do you prefer to ignore?

Delos TarotReading Summary:  That I can’t last forever with fresh as a daisy enthusiasm (Ace of Wands) without getting some rest and recovery along the way (Four of Swords). Gideon can help you find balance (King of Cups) but you have to reach out to him for that help (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  I hate that I need to rest.  I really do.  I hate that I can’t go the way I could have ten years ago, non stop and moving fast.  It just doesn’t feel right to me to need the amount of rest that I do, regardless of the fact that I know I get less rest than the average person.   Rest feels like an inconvenience more than a necessity and it drives me nuts that I have to take time for it. Time I could be putting forward into things that I need to get done.

I’m aware this is an issue that’s rooted in my upbringing and in my determination to be independent from a young age.   My need for stability requiring money that you have to work for, etc.  And I know that Gideon can help calm that desperation.  Sometimes, I fear, though, that in calming that inner desperation, I will lose my independence and the stability that has been so hard won so far.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I heal myself?

Lunatic Tarot

Reading Summary: Pay more attention to where you wanna go (Ten of Pentacles), and less attention to your feelings of scarcity (Five of Pentacles). You need to be able to rest and recover (Four of Swords)… and focusing on your feelings of scarcity is just not going to get you there.

Take Away:  Rest and recovery.  Recuperation and rest are the path to healing myself.  Feelings of scarcity rooted in my past (figure looking to the left in the center card) drive me to treating myself badly and making unhealthy choices.

I need to remember that I won’t be able to enjoy the stability I’ve accomplished, or further stability I might gain, if I’ve worked myself to death in trying to fill that never ending hole of emptiness that those feelings of scarcity create.

DECK USED:  LUNATIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What part of my life would I like to improve over the next year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: A better work / life balance (Two of Coins). The ability to enjoy my time with my loved ones freely (Three of Cups). Reclaiming my ambition while finding a better way (Knave of Swords).

Take Away:  These three cards tie in together, in that it is through finding that better balance between work and life that I can find time to spend with loved ones free of guilt or negative inner dialogue.  The cards also indicate that on the work side of things, the lagging of my ambition over the past handful of months is a reflection of the efforts to settle into the new work / life balance I’ve been trying to foster.  As I learn to adjust to this new balance and find it more comfortable, the card indicates that my ambition will then rekindle.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT

New Can Be Scary… That’s Okay

IMG_7581Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of the guided portion of the meditation was about holding space for others and listening with more than our ears but our mind and our heart as well.

Often, when we are talking with others, we don’t spend enough of our energy on listening to what the other person has to say.  Instead, we’re in our own heads formulating what we’re going to say next, or musing over our opinions of something that was said, or planning what we need to do later on in the day, etc.

The encouragement in the guided meditation is to use the mindfulness that we use in meditation, and carry it forward into the world in how we listen to and communicate with others.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in relation to one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity. This often translates into themes that have to do with new relationships, new creative ideas, or new emotional growth.

What really stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the small pink lotus flower on the right near the woman’s arm, and on the opposite side, the gray swirl of what I think is supposed to be her hair… but looks a lot like a shark to me at first glance.

The message here is that there is always a bit of risk in new things.  Things can go well and go smoothly, or they could turn around and bite you in the ass when you’re not looking.  The key is in her lifted arms… which speak of moving forward into new experiences regardless of the risk.  Sometimes you just have to step up and see what’s waiting for you.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Sun Question
: What am I asked to create for myself, or work on, throughout the month of November?

Delos Tarot - The Magician, DeathWhat am I asked to create for myself throughout the month of November?

The Magician – Confidence. I’ve felt a lot of uncertainty and insecurity lately when it comes to my ability to juggle my emotions and the holiday rush.  It’s been sort of wittling away at the edges of my confidence in other areas pertaining to my business.  The Magician is a reminder that I’m capable and that through the next few weeks I need to prove this to myself and create for myself  the confidence that I’ve felt wavering a bit lately.

What am I asked to work on throughout the month of November?

Patience through slow change. Patience is not my strong suit when it comes to my expectations of myself and my personal progress.  I need to keep in mind that most of the changes I’m working for this year are slow growth changes, and not sudden transformative moments.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my personal happiness.

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary:  Alone time is needed (The Hermit) so move your ass (Eight of Wands) and take the reigns and make it happen (The Chariot).

Take Away: Get your ass out into the woods. Stop procrastinating.
Wednesday.  I’m going on Wednesday after my dentist appointment. I plan on running a few errands in the morning after the dentist, and then heading out into the forest by late morning or early afternoon at the latest.

I’ve been feeling the need to get out into the forests for a bit now, but things have just felt so clusterfucked that I haven’t really managed to do it.  But I’ve set aside time for it on Wednesday and have every intention of spending a handful of hours out there.  It’s not as good as a day hike, but it’ll be a good long visit all the same. More than enough time to untie some internal knots and enjoy some alone time with the trees.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question
: What previously unknown shadow aspect has presented itself this year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: My issues with slowing down (The Chariot Rx) and taking things at a slower pace (Knight of Pentacles). These issues are rooted in my childhood (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Ugh.  So much shadow work has been peeking out at me and trying to make itself known recently.  I can’t do shadow work in the fall and winter, and yet it always seems ready to make itself known around this time of year each year.  This shadow, like so many that try to get my attention in the fall, is rooted in my childhood.  Speed and efficiency are highly prized in my family, especially by my father, and I’ve spent a huge part of my life developing my speed and efficiency in all aspects of my life, work, and business. 

Over this year, I’ve been trying to spend more time slowing down instead, which has brought this specific shadow aspect I wasn’t really all that aware of as a shadow aspect rising up to the surface again and again.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT