King of Swords

Be Kind to Yourself

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IMG_7799Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  The topic of today’s guided meditation was about living in the present instead of allowing plans for the future or thoughts of the past to distract you away from the pleasure and joy of what you could be experiencing in the moment.

This is something that I struggle with quite a bit, although I’ve found that meditation and my time in the forest, as well as my time using my camera, all help me in this.  It’s hard to find that focus on the present. But in those moments? It’s easier.

The meditation’s guide says that the more you take in these moments in the ways you are able, the more you are able to then carry them out into your life in other ways as well. I hope that’s true, as I find a great deal of peace in those moments, and I’d love to be able to spread that peace further into my life.

Tarot of the Little Prince - King of SwordsToday’s draw is the King of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, logic, education, intellect, and communication.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the positioning of the sword’s tip. I’m not sure if this was the intention of the artist or not, but the sword tip looks like it’s about to impale the fox.

The fox is a good symbol for the King of Swords, who is someone that is both cunning and intelligent, and good at strategy and inspiring others. This makes my thought about the fox being at risk having to do more with the ruthless expression and posture of the man in the image, rather than the fox itself.

There is a time and a place for ruthlessness, but there are also many more times (and places) when such energy is unnecessary and unwarranted. I am not particularly ruthless with others, but… I can’t say the same for myself.  And what I see in this card is exactly that.

I see a man that has become ruthless with himself, and is ready to kill off the fun loving part of himself. He believes that in killing off this part of himself, he can become even smarter, even more powerful, and even more clever. Instead, by killing this part of himself off, he will become less… not more.

The message here is to be kind to myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #3

Ring Cycle TarotFate – Five of Gods – You are left on my own to struggle in the absence of a direction that would move your feet forward. By having your own autonomy to move as you see fit, you allow your spirit sustenance. We all die in the end, but you are willing to earn what you need to survive and thrive until that time comes.

Destiny – Hierophant – The element of destiny is influencing your life in that it is there to teach you. You are the perpetual student and although destiny does not control every step you take and every thing you do, its lessons are a constant companion at your side on each step of your path.

Chance – Two of Nibelungs – Chance is a cruel taskmaster in your life and crashes down around you in unfortunate and unpleasant ways like waves upon a shore.  There is no balance, and there is no kindness.  Only trials you will either buckle under, or overcome.

DECK USED:  RING CYCLE TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What physical, daily routines and habits should I introduce in order to help me find better balance in my life?

Scorpio Sea Tarot

Knight of Wands atop Wheel of Fortune – Get out into nature, no matter rain or shine.

That would be an amazing thing if it was something I could do daily, and perhaps after the holiday season I can work on that becoming more of a reality. Right now, though? I’ll just have to aim for going out into nature as much as possible… although the “no matter if it’s rain or shine” part is not a problem at all. Weather rarely is a dissuading factor in whether I’m going into the woods or not.  Mosquitoes on the other hand… yeah.

The Magician atop The Lovers Rx – Use the tools at your disposal to make sure that you’re making good choices and not sabotaging yourself.

Self sabotage is a real problem for me, and ties into my self-destructive tendencies.  It’s one of those things I have to watch out for and do my best to keep track of.  And that includes my less recognized but no less relevant self-sabotaging behaviors.

Two of Cups – Make sure you’re connecting with your loved ones and seeking their help.

This ties in to the previous cards in that a part of my tools to help me with my self sabotaging behavior are my friends and loved ones.  That is not the only way in which they help me, though.  As there is also the emotional support they provide, and the actual physical help that they provide in getting things done, which is extremely important in and of itself at this time of the year.

DECK USED:  SCORPIO SEA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the one problem I would like to solve in my life?

Savran Forest Tarot

Reading Summary: I want to find the control within myself (The Emperor) to be able to see beyond my pessimistic ways (Four of Cups) into a different perspective (The Hanged Man).

Take Away:  The one problem that I would like to solve in my life (at least at this time) is my pessimism.  Not that I entirely want it to go away, as I think that a good dose of pessimism is healthy and keeps you safe. But, I want to see more than just that.  I want to see other angles.  Positive angles.  And ultimately, a more rounded view where my pessimism is just a small part of the whole rather than the star of the show.

DECK USED:  SAVRAN FOREST TAROT

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Kings

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Prompt: Pull the Kings out of a deck of your choice. Consider… Do you have someone in your life, or is there a real or fictional character you know of that fits with one of these cards? Do you have people in mind that would fit with each of them? Then share that here and tell us about the connection you see between each King card and the person or character it represents for you.

Zombie TarotKing of Wands – A man with a plan, this man has lots of plans but sometimes his enthusiasm gets in the way of good sense. Lots of knowledge and experience under his belt, he seems to think he can do anything, then is surprised when things don’t always turn out as planned. That doesn’t keep him from going after the next project on his list though, or the one after that, and bringing his buddies with him in on the job makes everything that much better. His friends come over and have a blast, while the wives curse him for stirring their husbands up… and bless him in the same breath for seeming to give their husbands an extra spark of life.

King of Cups – A gentle touch and a core of steel, this man knows how to make you feel heard and understood. He sees what you’re hiding… or at least that you’re hiding it, and will gently pick at it until you give him that burden you hold so that it can be shared.  He’s easy to trust and draws you in, but make sure you don’t push against his boundaries too hard, or you might find yourself out in the cold again.  He loves hard and deep, but despite the magnetism to draw others in, he’s picky about those that he allows to get in deep.

King of Swords – She stands behind a podium five days out of seven, a large auditorium of young minds hanging on her every word.  The board behind her is filled with evidence of her intelligence and expertise, and she will lead these minds to become the newest generation to change the world.  She’s a hard taskmaster and has a sharp tongue, and god forbid you disappoint her high expectations.  The thing is though? Something about her and those expectations means that if you do disappoint? You’ll be harder on yourself than she has need to be.

King of Hazards (Pentacles) – She exudes a sense of duty and a grounded energy that makes her easy to trust and goes to work each day where that trust is used to lead others. She knows each worker by name. With precision blueprints in her hands, she directs others on bringing her creation to life and with each day that passes, what was only a dream in her mind slowly becomes a reality on the corner of Fifth and Fircrest. Some day her family will live in this building, a structure she’d dreamed of since a child and now is entrusted with bringing to life.

DECK USED:  ZOMBIE TAROT

Breaks in the Storm

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IMG_2806Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and focused upon the voices in our head and how they can turn against us at times when we need support the most.

The guided meditation walked through the process of looking at those internal voices not as whispers of truth or influences on how you should feel, but from an observer on the outside.

Everyone has these voices that whisper about insecurities, self-doubts, and pick at our weaknesses.   Today’s meditation encouraged looking at these voices as an observer so that you can judge for yourself whether what those voices are saying is useful or valid… or far more likely, just a bunch of judgemental hot air.

Spirit of Clouds - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is the Spirit of Clouds (King of Swords) which is commonly a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of communication and intellect.  This often portrays itself in themes concerning authority, clear thinking, and intellectual strength.

The appearance of the Spirit of Clouds in today’s draw ties into the theme of today’s meditation.   When I look at the image on the card, what I see is the beaten and battered earth, the torrential rains, and stormy clouds above… and the clearing of the storm in the distance.

The message here is to look for the break in the storm.  I have had some time lately where I’ve seen those breaks.  Times when I’ve felt the shift of breeze and fresh air sift through my mind and spirit, allowing the weight of winter’s struggles and clouded sensations of feeling smothered to be brushed away for brief moments and allow me to feel refreshed and clean once more…. just like that break in the storm in the image.

This card is an encouragement to savor those moments, and reach for them.  Enjoy them and let them help lift me further out of the dim and the dark and into the light where my spark resides.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve my relationship with productivity?

Tarot in WonderlandReading Summary:   It’s time to start tapping back into my creativity (Knight of Cups)… now (Eight of Wands).

The deck did not want to give me any more cards after the Knight of Cups.  When it finally did, it gave me the Eight of Wands.  The Eight of Wands is sass, because the deck had already said all that it wanted to say.

Take Away:  If I want to improve my current relationship with productivity, it’s time to start acting on those small sparks of inspiration and creativity when they start to sneak in to whisper in my ear.   At the moment, these small sparks are very sparse and difficult to hear, but just like one’s intuition, the more you listen… the more it will speak up.

DECK USED:  TAROT IN WONDERLAND

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What one thing can I do today to make my life better?

Weird Cat Tarot

Reading Summary:  Let Gideon (King of Cups) and my loved ones (Three of Cups) lift me up and inspire hope (The Star).

Take Away:  All of the reads so far today are focusing upon those moments of “light at the end of the tunnel” and “fresh air breathed through the soul” feelings that I’ve been experiencing the last few days.  Whatever hole of fog that I’ve managed to fall into is beginning to allow me glimpses of the sky above and my guidance to climbing my way out is to allow others that care about me to inspire hope while I reach for the handholds that will allow me to climb free of the hole.

DECK USED:  WEIRD CAT TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Absorb / Take Action

Love Is In The Earth TarotAbsorb : The Four of Crystal Spheres (Pentacles) is an indication that I need to take time to really sink into the feeling of safety, stability, and security instead of allowing myself to be carried away by worries and fears.

Take Action :  The Two of Crystal Spheres (Pentacles) as the “take action” card speaks finding balance.  Things have been out of whack for me for quite a while now, and in order to find that balance again, the cards indicate that I am going to need to actively reach for it.

DECK USED:  LOVE IS IN THE EARTH TAROT

 

Steady As You Go

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and again was incorporated into my yoga practice.  I know that I don’t get as much out of it when I do it this way, but sometimes it’s just easier, and better than not doing it at all. It’s a good compromise for those days when I probably would have otherwise skipped the meditation practice all together, or tried to put it in at the end of the day, where I get far less from it than doing it with my yoga.

King of Swords - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which is a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality or person in the area of thoughts, logic, intellect, and communication.  This often presents itself as dominance and authority with a side of mental clarity and strong intellectual power.

The King of Swords appearance in today’s draw is a reminder that even with the sense of chaos that new emotions and a new depth of emotions brings with it, I am still capable of being level and grounded in my thinking.  It is a reminder to not allow the emotions to run away with my brain, because I need a balanced center to help me work with and learn from those emotions rather than just experience them without benefit and growth.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How should I approach failures and roadblocks in pursuit of my goals?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  These cards are about security (First Card) and comfort (Second card), and remembering to keep an undercurrent of warmth (Fourth Card) in the face of jagged cold (Third Card).

Take Away:  Road blocks and failures always feel cold to me.  The cards here are a reminder that when you come up against these obstacles in pursuit of my goals, I need to remember to stay grounded, and take comfort in the familiar.   Don’t allow myself to fall into a mindset of degradation against myself, as is so often my first response when things feel like they are falling apart.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a negative thing in your life that you don’t need to stress over?

Vindur Tarot

Reading Summary:  I worry about delving headlong (Knight of Wands) into the new emotions and depths of them I’ve been discovering since last august (The Fool atop the Six of Cups) and how this may change my values in the long run (Ten of Swords atop Judgement).

Take Away:  To be fair, this is more of an intuitive hit off the cards than at all associated with traditional meaning.  It has to do with that depth of emotions that I discovered in the fall, and a worry that in exploring them it might change my values into something more difficult to discern or follow.   Emotions are tricky and unstable things and I don’t particularly want them to have an influence on my moral compass and values.  Considering the question for this reading, the cards are saying that that isn’t something I need to worry about.

DECK USED:  VINDUR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to know to make a change for the better today?

Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: I am stronger than I think (Strength).  I just need to remember to stay grounded within my pursuits (Knight of Pentacles) and “count my blessings” (Ten of Cups).

Take Away: Even as I push myself to always do better and better, I underestimate myself all the time.  It’s a contradiction instilled within me by my parents.  Perfection is not good enough… you have to do even better.  This read is a reminder that perfection lives within imperfection, not despite of it.  I am strong and capable, I just need to remember not to let things get out of hand when I’m pursuing my goals and to practice gratitude and appreciation for all that I currently have.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT

Get Motivated

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes, and focused on World Mental Health Day (which is today) and how to be kinder to ourselves, especially when you have mental health problems.

It discussed why people try to hide their mental health illness because of the concern for being rejected by others and be shamed for this weakness.  It addressed seeking acceptance in ourselves for the issues that we have to deal with, in the same way you find acceptance for when you have a cold, or diabetes, or any other medical issue.

The guided meditation encouraged the listener to challenge their self judgements and find a path to a better acceptance of the self and your own personal struggles.

This is something that I had to struggle with early in life.  In fact, I had undiagnosed depression as far back as my early teens or perhaps even earlier than that.  When Z realized what was going on, she advocated with me to my parents, pushing them to allow me to seek treatment, but it wasn’t until I was emancipated at the age of sixteen that I had the freedom to do so for myself.   In my family, mental illness was treated as something to be ashamed of.  A fatal flaw even worse than being gay (which was my father’s main issue with me from childhood on in life).

By accepting that I needed help and going to GET that help, it was clearly understood that I was not just casting shame upon myself, but upon my family as a whole.  Obviously, this is NOT something that bothered me as much as it might have, because I was so far down that rabbit hole with my sexual preferences and independence by that point that what was one more log on the fire, right?   Still, the shame -did- ride me for quite a long time.  Especially the shame of needing medication.

It wasn’t until I found a medication that took away my suicidal thoughts and urges that this shame began to lift.  Because… how can you argue with that benefit, right?  Now, when I see judgement, I advocate.  And I hope that others will learn, as I did, that it’s okay to need a little help.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, which means that they both came out of the deck together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Emperor card of the Major Arcana, and the King of Bats (Swords).

I know what it’s saying, and I’m just SO resistant to it today.   Silly, I know.  But there you have it.

The message in today’s cards is to “Be the Boss”.   In other words, do your work, do the responsible thing, take charge and get your shit done.   I know it’s supposed to be an energizing and empowering message, but all I really feel like doing today is loafing off.

Unfortunately, that is a luxury for another day if i want to ship out orders tomorrow (which I very much do need and want to do that).

Traditional meanings for the Emperor include dominance and authority, structure, and a projective alpha energy that is instilled into the “big picture”, rather than into one specific aspect of the human experience.

Traditional representation for the King of Bats (Swords) are on the theme of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of the mind, thought, intellect, communication, and instinct.  This includes themes surrounding mental clarity and intellectual power, as well as (you guessed it) dominance and authority.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: How can I more fully love and accept myself?

Tarot of Haunted House Reading Summary: Set the spark (Ace of Wands) and carry that spark forward (Knight of Wands) into the things that interest and challenge you (King of Swords).  Sometimes it’s okay to need to be alone (intuitive hit off the imagery in the Three of Cups).

Take Away: If I want to more fully love and accept myself, I need to not just respect and take note of those inner sparks of ambition and inspiration, but go after them.  And not just the easy ones, but the ones that really make me work for that sense of accomplishment. Most of the time, these types of projects, aspirations, and ideas require buckling down and focus, which is not something I can do in the company of others.  Alone time is valuable in these pursuits, IF I use it productively.

TL:DR?  Stop using alone time to loaf off, and instead use that time to get to work on the things that spark my ambition and challenge my intellect.

Deck Used: Tarot of Haunted House

Stay Grounded

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and four seconds long, and focused on how no one is perfect, and how our flaws are what make each one of us unique.

It discussed how, while self improvement is an excellent goal, it is important to accept yourself rather than beat yourself up over every little thing that you think is not just right.   Perfection is an unattainable goal, as it is subjective to each of us.

Instead, it suggests working on acceptance of your flaws and a path of learning rather than criticism and beratement.

Today’s draw is the King of Zephyrs, which is a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of the mind, intellect, thoughts, communication, instinct, and logic. This card is usually interpreted as an authority in the areas of mental acuity and intellectual prowess, but on the negative side of things can also indicate manipulation and abuse of power.

In the King of Zephyrs, what pulls to my intuition is the butterflies and the dead mouse, secondary comes with how the two hawks face each other, and the presence of the thistle along the bottom of the card, which is commonly a representation of aggression and pain, protection, and pride.  

What I see in this card’s imagery is contrast.  There is a push and pull between asserting one’s strengths, and going too far.  It is a “mind the precipice” moment, where you stand in the embodiment your strengths and feel a sense of pride in them, but need to pay heed to what may come if you forget to look down at your feet.

In other words…. don’t get too full of yourself.  Stay grounded.

I do have my moments of feeling cocky now and then, especially concerning how well seated I am in my values and expectations of other’s values in relation to my own.  At these times, I run the risk of riding on the “high horse” where my internal moral compass is concerned.  Today’s card is a reminder to keep my feet grounded instead of getting carried away.

Sidenote:  I feel like my sentences and writing are all kinds of disjointed today.  My brain is feeling very fractured by the subdrop, so I’m sorry if this post is a bit scattered or doesn’t make sense.

Deck Used: The Stolen Child Tarot