Spirituality and Purpose

IMG_6773Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and without a guided meditation, although I did use the interval timer to keep me on track with my piriformis stretching during the meditative practice.

I had a bit of considering to do during my meditation today, which in itself made it more of a self-guided meditation than one of the more quiet and peacefully empty ones that is usually the case when there is no guide.

Instead, I took the time to focus upon how the work that I do in my business influences others around the world.  I have created beautiful pieces of jewelry that have brought joy to thousands of people, lightening the weight of their days and bringing them a sense of beauty and happiness from the experience of opening an aesthetically pleasing package all the way through to the pleasure they take in wearing the beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve sent them over and over again.

I feel like when I started on this journey over a decade ago of the business I now run, I spent a lot more time focusing on and taking pleasure in this element of things.  I think that in the present, I need to work on focusing on this side of things more.

Hush Tarot - The StarToday’s draw is the Star card, which is traditionally a representation of themes having to do with hope and spirituality.  It’s about being connected to the inner-connectivity between life and divinity, and about allowing that connection to renew your sense of hope and purpose in the world.

And… I just have to say.  I really love the imagery on this card.  The interplay between the earth and humanity, between life and death, and between endings and new beginnings.  But, for today, what really stands out to me in this card is the banner that the bird holds in its beak with the worlds “a hunting we will go” scrawled across its length.

The message that I see in today’s card is about finding one’s purpose.  It’s about acknowledging that you need to look beyond the earthly needs of business and life, and delve into one’s spirituality in order to find your true purpose and path.  That is because our purpose stretches beyond life, beyond work and the material… our spiritual path is not over when our life ends, but continues on.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: How do I connect with the Divine?

Tarot Leaves

Reading Summary: Look at all those pentacles! By being proactive (Knight of Pentacles), no matter the circumstances (Wheel of Fortune), to get myself out in nature (Ace of Pentacles) and ground (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I connect with the Divine through nature and the earth, and in doing so in this way,  it requires that I am proactive in pursuing time in nature.  Each time I step into the forest and am surrounded by the trees and the moss and the moist earth, it is like the first time all over again. It is an embrace that feels new and exciting, yet familiar and comfortable.  And one that I need to visit often to ground with and connect deeply with.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: What needs a little more focus and energy to complete before winter arrives?

Tarot by Alexander DandiloffReading Summary:  Finding stability (Four of Pentacles) in the changes that I’ve worked through putting in place in the spring and summer (Death). Make sure that you’re getting help from those that care for you and that you care for in turn (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  This is something that I’m struggling with, and in struggling with it I’m not getting the prep work done that I need to get done because I’ve got so much of my energy turned towards this issue. I feel… like I need to find stable footing for the growth I’ve made.  At first, I thought it was about choice.  That I had to choose that new emotional depth or my holiday rush… but I understand I don’t need to choose.  Yet I still feel like things are unstable and I need to find a way to shore up the foundation beneath my feet.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: What is the biggest lesson I can take from this month?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Creative flow and the desire to move forward (Page of Wands) gets stalled out (Hanged Man) and moderated (Temperance) by worries, concerns, and anxiety (Nine of Swords).

Take Away:  Anxiety is a creativity killer and the death of motivation. That’s the lesson. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I make time for rest and relaxation… every day?

Joe Sparrow Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop using your ambitions to push yourself forward (Knight of Swords) and reassure yourself of what good you already have (Nine of Cups). Opportunities are not going to run out anytime soon (Ace of Pentacles)… Which means it’s okay to skip one now and then and not have to listen to yourself lecture about it in your head (King of Swords Rx).

Take Away:  I can make time for rest and relaxation in my daily life by understanding that just because I might miss an opportunity for progress doesn’t mean that another isn’t right around the corner to offer itself up next.  Also, stop listening to my father’s voice in my inner dialogue telling me that rest is for the weak and is a progress killer.


The Drown and The Drop

IMG_6711Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a guided meditation accompanied by interval timer.  The topic of today’s guided meditation was about using the skills learned through one’s meditation practice to turn moments of frustration and irritation around into a calmer and less destructive response.

It’s about being aware of when this irritation and frustration begins to rise, and taking a moment to turn that awareness into action by stepping back and taking a deep breath, allowing yourself a moment just breathe and let your muscles relax.

In that action alone, we lower our blood pressure and thus ease our temper enough to keep it from boiling over, allowing for a calmer and more positive interaction with whatever has us irritated or frustrated in the first place.

Hush Tarot - Five of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Five of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, conflict, and hardships in the area of one’s finances, resources, hearth and home, health, and manifestations.

I’m very touched by the imagery of this card. What I see here is the drown… and the drop.  Both captured in one image.

In the drown, all that intensity and intimacy that delves me under the surface of subspace and sends me floating in the limbo of weightless pleasure is peaceful.  My trust as I am held down beneath the surface, my certainty that nothing will be allowed to hurt me so that I can fully open up and allow those vulnerable inner pieces of myself to hang suspended in that place of peaceful place controlled by you.

Where in the drown there is peace, in the drop there is agony.  I used to revolt against it, thrashing uselessly in the cloying suffocation of the drop.  I have learned that it is better to remain still and quiet, to not fight but accept the pain as payment for the pleasure.

Nothing is free, and the pleasure you give me when you float me into the drown and hold me there is so great… that it makes sense the ache that comes after as payment would be just as heavy.   This stillness and ache is also something I see in the imagery of this card.

Today’s card is a reminder that pleasure and pain go hand in hand, and that those things worth having sometimes take their payment less traditional ways.  It’s okay… just stay still and breathe, and the drop will pass.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: How to move toward my vision with clarity and purpose?

WilderWoven Tarot

Reading Summary: Keep your eye on the prize (Tree of Life over Ten of Cups) and do your best to take what you’ve learned this year (The Hierophant). Don’t throw up unnecessary barriers between yourself and those lessons (Nine of Wands) is a better path to protecting what’s yours (Seven of Swords).

Take Away:  “The Prize” in this case is my emotional growth (Ten of Cups) and turning over a new leaf in how I do things (Tree of Life).  I’ve had a lot of worry about having to choose between that emotional growth and the lambasting intensity of the upcoming holiday season. 

The thing is, though… I’ve earned the growth I’ve managed to accomplish so far over this year.  I’ve earned it, I’ve learned from it and it’s now mine.  A part of me.   Instead of trying to put up walls to protect my progress, I need to accept that this progress is already a part of me.

Even if I backslide?  Regaining my footing will not be the same as starting from the beginning all over again.  I’ve already tread the path and climbed the cliff face, I know where the footing is best and where the handholds are.  That means I will be able to regain that ground more quickly.

If I want to protect what’s mine… what I’ve earned and made a part of myself?  I need to ease up on that normal reaction to construct walls, and instead take a breath and relax.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #3

El Goliath Tarot 2nd EditionAmberNine of Wands – Where I need to work on my emotions to create more balance in my life is in the area of my depression and my hard flex to guard myself from emotional pain. Having spent so much of my life walling my emotional side off, I never really got used to and toughened up to the emotional pain people are dealt.  Now that I no longer have a fortress of walls to protect those emotions, sometimes when I flinch in pain, I start building.  This does not encourage balance, nor help me in getting used to this new state of emotional openness and growth.

CedarFive of Wands – I can use my present day fortitude to strengthen my future protections by remembering the experiences from my past and the times that I’ve had to fight for the growth and progress needed.  The strategies, methods, and spark of willpower from those times can be carried forward through the present and into the future, to strengthen my position and my protection of those things that are important to me.

MarigoldKarmic Release – Where I should focus on my health in order to develop a happier outlook is tied in directly to my Karmic health and self actualization. In looking at the things I’ve done that I am ashamed of, feel guilt over, or know that are wrong… by examining these things and taking ownership of them, then letting go of them. By allowing this process of release to happen, I can then foster a greater sense of happiness in my life.

Lapis LazuliThe Shaman – The inner truths that self awareness can bring into the light within my life have to do with my spirituality and my connection to the earth, the elements, and the metaphysical.  By delving into this part of who I am, I am able to not just facilitate my own growth, but guide others in theirs as well. The more I delve into myself, my spirituality, and my unique abilities, then the more I grow and the more I have to offer others in turn.

WalnutKnight of Swords and The Sage – In order to be more discerning in picking positive friendships, it is important to take a level-headed look at those friendships from your past in which you have bitten off more than you can chew. Take some time to truly ascertain which of those friendships were valuable and which were simply frivolous leaps into the unknown, and purge those experiences and energies left over from those that did not work for you, while retaining the lessons learned from them.

SapphireThe Hierophant – I can best discern between logical thought and true wisdom by looking at these moments through the lens of inner truth. Only through reaching within yourself for the answers can you sort out the difference.  Logic comes from the mind, but true wisdom comes from somewhere much deeper.  Ask yourself if the information being offered is simply emotionless knowledge… or heartfelt inner truths being shared.

YarrowKing of Swords – To move from a place of trauma to a place of healing, I need to take control of myself and the situation, clear my mind, and see things through a sharp and discerning eye. It is only by shutting down the clutter and creating a place of piercing clarity that you can cut through trauma’s influence to find a path to healing.  When you are lost in the fog… the path is concealed from view.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: Is there any karmic energy I currently carry with me that I should be aware of?  Is it something I should deal with or act upon at this time?

Sasuraibito TarotKarmic energy I carry and need to be aware of.
Queen of Swords atop Eight of Swords

You are not dealing with the effects of your mother’s influences on you.  Ignoring those dark shadows she has created through her selfish, self centered words and actions over the year is not healthy, and as long as you carry this energy within you, you will never be entirely free of it’s affects upon your inner self.

Should I deal with it at this time?
Page of Swords

Go for it!  It’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take some trial and error with a heavy dose of learning to get it right.  But you can untangle the web of thoughts and emotions and rip off that blindfold.  You have the intelligence and capability, as well as the opportunity, to take this challenge on one step at a time.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I believe my opinion matters?

Brady Tarot 2nd Edition

Reading Summary: I give good advice and have a lot of good input to give through past experience (Eight of Roots).  When others choose to discount my opinion (Two of Arrows), I also am then later given the chance to say I told you so (Six of Wands).

Take Away: I’m always happy to share my experiences with others and offer opinions when I think they might be able to help or have been asked for. So very often, though, even those that ask for your opinions and advice then go off and do whatever they wanted to do in the first place no matter what you had to say to the contrary. At those times, I more often than not am not going to say “I told you so”, but you can damn well bet that I’m thinking it.


Protect Your Happiness

I took a break from… well, pretty much everything for a couple of days.  So I have nothing to say here other than I’m getting back on track now (Sunday September 27th).

Hush Tarot - Four of WandsToday’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally about homecoming, harmonious family connections, and joyous celebration of one’s blessings.

The bouquet in the imagery of this card reminds me of wedding decorations. Struck through this bouquet are the spears, which both support the flowers and protect these flowers from harm.

The thing is? You can’t have harmony and home without also having protection and stability (present in the four).  These things are very important to fostering a healthy and happy harmony in both home and family.  And that is the message in today’s card. Love requires protection, happiness requires safety, relationships require support.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: How to overcome my fears?

WilderWoven Tarot

Reading Summary: Take a beginners mind (The Fool) and an emperor’s heart (The Emperor), and allow this combination to carry you through with passion and joy for the discoveries and adventures ahead (Page of Wands).

Take Away:  Be responsible but joyful. Be curious but steadfast. Be optimistic but realistic. It is possible to balance all of these things.  It’s possible to take them forward with you into the world and allow them to kindle passion and inspiration within you, without falling over the deep end of addiction and losing focus on the world as a whole in the process. Finding balance can be a struggle, but it can be done.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: As fall draws to a close next month, what needs to be let go of when moving forward?

Sasuraibito TarotReading Summary: Open your eyes (Eight of Swords) and allow change to happen (Death) surrounding your work (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: It’s going to be okay. Don’t continue to keep your eyes closed and ignore what’s going on around you or what’s coming. The changes that you’ve been gradually working on are ready to move forward into the busy season with you if you let them. So don’t cover your face and hide behind the work to come.  Stay open and allow yourself to see beyond what you would normally bury your nose in while ignoring the rest of the world.


Don’t Skip It

IMG_6641Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer.   The guided part of the meditation focused upon the challenges and benefits of doing nothing.  Some people feel like this is the easiest thing in the world, yes?  But I am definitely not one of those people.

It is a huge struggle for me to take days off, and even during that time?  I still work, just not at the regular stuff.  Instead I try to focus primarily on making sure stuff stays in stock online and that I answer customers in a timely manner.  This means it takes the pressure off and allows me time away from that pressure to recover from burnout… but that I’m not truly “doing nothing”.

The thing is tho?  I am doing better at it.  I’m getting better at actually taking those low-pressure breaks, and making sure that I’m kinder to myself concerning the need for rest and down time.  It’s a work in progress, but I’m working at it.

Hush Tarot - Four of SwordsToday’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the need for restorative rest and recuperation.  This can also come in the form of meditation, sleep, recovery from burnout, and many other themes along that thread.

I love the imagery in this card.  I think it’s absolutely beautiful.  That said, no one aspect of this card stood out to me today.  Instead?  This card ended up pulled just after the decision to skip my meditation had been made this morning.  It is a direct response to that decision.

The message in today’s card is that even though I am back to work today, I still need those moments of restorative rest… and that is especially relevant in reference to my meditation practice.  And thus, perhaps it is no surprise, but I re-evaluated my decision and ended up doing my meditation after all.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: How to show up more?

Haindl Tarot

Reading Summary:  Be less reactionary (King of Cups Rx) and more slow to react (Son of Stones). You are still in the learning stages of your emotional growth (Daughter of Cups).  Allow fostering that growth become a passion that burns brightly in your heart (Ace of Wands).

Take Away:  I didn’t really understand this question, but I went ahead and decided to pull for it anyway.  The advice given here is good, regardless of my lack of understanding of the question as a whole.  With so many new emotions and new levels of emotion going on with me these days, there are times when I feel myself having knee-jerk emotional reactions to things.  Giving a little forethought and taking time in reacting rather than just jumping in is a good idea, and the advice about accepting these changes and pursuing them from day to day?  Also good advice.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: What is humanity’s biggest mistake?

English Magic TarotReading Summary: Too much time focusing on what you want (Page of Swords) and ignoring (Hanged Man Rx) to the passage of time and what the past can teach us (Seven of Cups).

Take Away: Hubris. Lack of humility is humanity’s greatest mistake. When we choose to only focus on our own desires and turn a blind eye to the past and what we can learn from it, everyone loses.  And yet, humanity does this again and again, choosing to focus only upon their own selfish desires to the point that they forget to look to those lessons already learned… and thus are destined to repeat them over and over again.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: What is something about me that others really value, admire, or appreciate about me?

Sasuraibito Tarot

Reading Summary: Even with how much I have gone through in my life (Three of Swords), I continue to display gratitude and appreciation for all that I have (Nine of Pentacles) and possess the strength and clear-mindedness to lead by example (King of Swords).

Take Away: In order to survive and thrive in the wake of the things I have been through in life, I need to see these experiences as lessons.  I see them as learning experiences that have helped me to grow and become a better person in some way. They have taught me skills I wouldn’t otherwise have, honed my abilities both mentally and physically, and given me experiences that allow me to relate to others in very specific and important ways.

I am sure that there are those that find my approach to survival from the crap that has happened in my life to be obnoxious or annoying.  The cards here indicate that there are just as many that also find my approach to these experiences to be admirable and inspirational. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I get closer to my dream life?

Tyldwick Tarot

Reading Summary: When you are generous with your financial wealth and resources (Six of Coins) instead of squandering it on yourself (The Devil)… you are will rewarded with the return of a wealth that has a value far greater than that of money (The Empress).

Take Away:  I think I need to do a reading and ask my cards about what my ‘dream life’ might entail. Because… what the cards say here as the reward for leaning into altruism over selfish pursuits?  Sounds pretty damned nice.  But it isn’t at all what I would have said was of an appeal to me a few years ago… nor does it reflect what I drive myself to the bone to work toward.

So the question here is… over the past year as I have worked on my emotional growth and work / life balance, what has this done to influence what my ideal ‘dream life’ might look like?  Because The Empress is so much more appealing these days than she has been in my past.