What Do You Celebrate?

IMG_4332Today’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and focused upon finding light in the darkness.  This meditation was a bit different than most of the guided meditations that I do, in that instead of focusing on expanding my own energies or directing kindness to myself or others, it was more about the seeking of light from outside the self and finding a way to connect with and bask in its glow.

I wasn’t really comfortable with this, as it involved the acceptance of foreign energies, so the light that I focused on was that of the sun.  This was apparently a very good choice, as it actually made the experience really pleasurable.

As I focused on the sun, it felt as if that light enhanced my perceptions of the air around me and the natural smells and sounds that carried to me from the chirping of birds to the whisper of wind through leaves.  The scent of fresh spring air was also enhanced and I lingered a good deal of time in that space even after they had closed out the meditation.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Four of WandsToday’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally interpreted as a combination of security and comfort of homecomings as well as themes to do with joyous celebration which can be internal or external, personal, or public.

What really draws my attention in the imagery of this card today is the bunnies at the top of the four posts of the arbor the rabbits celebrate beneath.   This speaks to me of… familiarity and finding your “fit”.

Not everyone’s “good thing” is the same.  Some people love hot summer days, while others love gray and rainy days best.   Some people love cities, while others love the country or the woods.

The bunny heads at the top of these posts are the same as the bunny heads on the rabbits below, and this to them is familiar and perfect and makes them happy.

The message in today’s card is to find what makes you happy.  The message in today’s card?  Is to find what makes me happy.  What things in my life do I need to pay more attention to and spend more time joyously celebrating?

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where would I most benefit from placing boundaries?

Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue

This is about being wise in where I direct my interests and ensuring I am paying attention to my own motivations with unbiased judgement (King of Winter) so that I can spot when I’m turning a blind eye (Eight of Winter) to my needs and ignoring the need for balance between what I give to others and what I take for myself (Balance). If I’m not caring for myself, I can’t care for others (Six of Autumn).

The relationship that is mentioned needing healing in the advice card at the bottom has to do with my relationship with myself. I’ve been doing so well along the path of that healing and finding another way, but I’ve fallen into some of my old bad habits the last few days. The cards here are calling me out on that neglect and reminding me to get my ass back in line.

The boundaries I would most benefit from setting in my life at this time are with myself.

DECK USED:  FAIRY TAROT BY VIRTUE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I unlock more positivity in my heart and mind?

Star Spinner TarotReading Summary:  Avoid jumping quickly (Knight of Wands) judgements and expectations (Justice) and spend your time focusing on what sparks your passions (Ace of Wands).

Take Away:  Be less quick (and less zealous) in judging myself and others.  Sometimes I expect too much from others… always I expect too much from myself.

In the former, it creates an experience of always ending up disappointed and experiencing surprises that are… unpleasant at the least and devastating in some circumstances.  In the latter, when I put too much expectation and judgement upon myself it does not lift me up but creates pressure and negativity toward myself that is a struggle to overcome. 

The encouragement here is to spend more time focusing on what I love… and less time focusing on the ways in which I feel that I (and society) have fallen short.

DECK USED:  STAR SPINNER TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question
: How can I reduce the resistance and impact my Ego has on being a good teacher and guide?

Animal Wisdom Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t get too cocky (Blue Jay). Learn from your mistakes (Parrot). Take pride in your accomplishments (Hummingbird).

Not an all bird deck by any stretch, and yet all birds show up in this reading, which speaks to me on the topic of spiritual freedom and moments of enlightenment.

Take Away:  What really sticks out to me the most in this reading is the fact that “Don’t get too cocky” and “Take pride in your accomplishments” felt like opposing advice at first to that inner asshat that lives in my brain.   They are not opposing advice, but they did feel that way when that snide fucker spoke up to snark at the advice given by the cards today.

You know what that snark rearing up means?  It means that the advice from the cards is really good, and it’s something I’m going to need to sit with and process more fully.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL WISDOM TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes it difficult for me to say no?

Herbal Tarot

Reading Summary: Without breaking down the plant correspondences, which did not stand out with this deck as strongly today as they usually do….

The first two cards are about my own personal experiences with rejection, and how it feels to have the spark of one’s imagination crushed under the boot of another’s rejection, even when that rejection may come more along the lines of redirection.

The last two cards are about my desires for others.  I genuinely want people to be happy and because I know how catastrophic rejection can feel, it can be difficult to deliver that rejection sometimes.

Take Away:  Essentially, in the times I go through a struggle with saying no, it is because I am worried about squashing the person’s passion. I hate the idea of smothering someone’s spark… and worry about how long it might take them to rekindle it if I do.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

 

Keeping a Healthy Balance

IMG_4189Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was focused upon listening to one’s intuition.   In the meditation, the guide encouraged finding the seat of your intuition and how it speaks to you.   Many people find that the seat of their intuition is “in their gut”.  Others find it is in a twinge at the back of their neck, or the raising of hairs on their arms.

For me, the seat of my intuition resides behind my solar plexus.  It speaks to me throughout my entire body, communicating through sensations and physical touches to my senses, and yet at its core it resides in that spot at my solar plexus.  It lives there, and when I consult my intuition, it’s there I reach.

In today’s meditation, the encouragement to find the seat of your intuition was followed by the benefits of fostering that voice and empowering it to grow by listening to it and following its guidance.  The more you follow your intuition, the more it will speak and the louder it will become.  That was essentially the lesson within today’s guided meditation which is very much the same message that I explain to my students when teaching intuitive tarot reading.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is the Devil card of the Major Arcana.  This card is traditionally read as an indication of temptations, addictions, obsessions, and other themes that have to do with self-destruction through indulgence.

What stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card is the Aralia spinosa bush that sits behind the wolf.  This plant is called the “Devil’s Walking Stick” and it is very apt for the card as it is very easily to be mistaken for Elderberry. One that reaches for the berries and familiar with Elderberry might find an unpleasant surprise when the plant seems to then attack them and try to rip then to shreds with prickly thorns and spines not just on the stems but on the leaves as well. This connotation speaks to me of the need to take care, as something that might seem harmless is putting you in danger.

The tilt of the wolf’s head in the imagery is another element that stands out to me today, which appears to my perceptions to be far more watchful than ominous.  The wolf is an indication of one’s intuitive nature and deep inner knowing.   The watchful posture says that if I want to find what it is that is hiding behind an innocuous appearance in my life, I will need to use my intuition to suss it out.

The positive message here in this card is one of awareness and encouragement to reassess.    It’s time to do a bit of weeding in order to open space to breathe, and I am encouraged to use my intuition to reveal those things that are not serving me or look harmless but are potentially detrimental.  I have an addictive personality, and it’s important to stay self aware and on top of things to keep a healthy balance in my life between pleasure and responsibility.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I bring more of that fulfillment into my daily life?

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle

Intuitive Interpretation:  De-tangle (Mercury) and piece together (Ara) in order to reach for your passion (Scorpius).

Okay, so the interpretations above are off the imagery alone.  I tried looking at the info in the guide book for this deck, as astrology isn’t a strong suit of mine, but although the explanations of the cards made perfect sense, they didn’t read for me that way… probably because I’m so used to reading intuitively off imagery that it’s the way the deck chose to speak to me, regardless of my intention to actually read the guide with this deck.

That said?  The guide is excellent and very interesting.  It just doesn’t apply to this reading.

Take Away:   This reading is about all of the ideas that I have concerning the classes I’m teaching on the Discord server.   I have a lot of ideas, and where at first they are tangled up in each other, what I find when I begin to write them out and untangle them is that there is enough material for not just one class, but a series of them.   So the idea unfurls (Mercury) and then they get pieced back together into a series of classes (Ara) on topics I love and love to share with others (Scorpius).  I’ve had this experience twice now, and the cards are saying that I need to have a little faith in this process instead of always worrying that I’m going to run out of ideas.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I better express to my loved ones how I feel about them?

Herbal TarotSarsaparilla symbolizes the ability to express your emotions to others, which combined with the Knight of Cups indicates that I shouldn’t expect my loved ones to just know how I feel and should take the time and effort to actually speak to them about how I feel.

Plantain is essentially a “decongestant” of the spirit, allowing for places where someone is feeling stuck to be eased and let go of. When combined with Justice, this speaks of providing guidance to my loved ones to assist them in finding the right path for them.

Trillium‘s symbolism lies within the “good stuff” in life that makes life worth living. The Three of Cups is combined with Trillium in this card, speaking about that “good stuff” having to do with family and friends, and spending quality time with them.

Mullein is a spiritual cleanser that allows the opening up of the lungs in order to circulate in positive energy through the breath and release negative energy on the exhale.  The combination of this herb with the Four of Swords speaks of taking time, as well, for the self in order to rest.  This rest is not about reflection, but rather about restoration and recovery.

Take Away:  I can better express to my loved ones how I feel about them by being open about my feelings and, instead of simply guiding them, spend some quality time with them enjoying their company as well.  The cards also remind me that I have a need for a certain amount of alone time and that it’s a requirement for my self care, and that I will better enjoy the time I spend with my loved ones if I tend to that need.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question
: What is the biggest challenge that I will face this month?

Tarot of the 78 Doors

Reading Summary: Financial uncertainty (King of Chalices Rx) brought about by making a long term choice (The Lovers) taking me down a path of in sharing the wealth that has the opposite effect upon my situation (Ten of Chalices Rx). My mother subsequently letting me have it for having done so (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: Thank you for the warning.  I’ll make damned sure to practice being especially miserly this month.   Honestly?  I’m way too hard on myself to want to deal with listening to my mother call me an idiot.  She has a sharp as fuck tongue and I’d rather just… not.

The opportunity to “contribute” to some cause, beneficial or otherwise, hasn’t really reared its head yet this month, but I’m going to be damn sure to keep an eye out for it.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE 78 DOORS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What unrealistic expectations have I placed on myself?

Tarot Fauna

Reading Summary: I’m too harsh in my self judgements (Judgement) concerning bad calls/decisions/choices (Two of Feathers Rx) concerning the handling of financial matters and resources (Knight of Rocks). Ease up. You can only work with what is available to you (Temperance).

Take Away:  I think the spider in its web is a really good image for this reading, as it comes down to that tangled and sticky web of habit and constant judgement against the self, yes?  It’s something I fall into and get caught up in again and again.   The reading here is about not being so hard on myself about shit I have no control over.   Sometimes I fall into grousing over missed opportunities that weren’t really opportunities within my reach in the first place.

As a hypothetical example, say that you want to apply for a credit card with certain benefits, but you have to have a personal income of $100K to even apply, which is nowhere near your income bracket.  Then later down the road something happens and you’re kicking yourself for not having that credit card. There was no way you were ever going to get that card, even if you’d applied for it, but somehow you’re beating yourself up over not having it anyway.

The cards are essentially telling me to focus on what I can control, and let go of the rest.

DECK USED:  TAROT FAUNA

Passionate Pursuits

Today’s meditation was non-existent because for my birthday I decided I wanted to sleep in and I slept in… way later than I expected to.   I must have really needed to catch up on sleep though, because it was not just nice…. it was absolute bliss.   As was the nap taken later in the day today. I might end up trying to meditate before I go to bed tonight, though.  The day’s not completely over yet after all.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Page of WandsToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, and passion projects.  This usually translates into themes that have to do with learning a new skill or getting a new spark of enthusiasm or inspiration that needs a bit of time and openness to explore.

In the imagery of this card there are a few different aspects that really stand out to me.  One is the waxing crescent moon at the top of the card, which speaks to me of new beginnings.  The tarot is cyclical.  You start off at the ace and advance to the ten, but then at the page you are cycling back to a different type of ace.   The page is essentially once again the ace from before, but changed to advance to a new beginning at a higher level.

By that same turn, the coloring of the leaves from the bottom of the card to the top represents growth to me.  As a mulberry tree grows, like many plants, the lower leaves drop away to give strength and energy to the upper leaves to stretch higher and reach further.

The imagery of this card speaks to me about attainment through growth. You can get what you want, you can attain those things you seek and are passionate about.  But it requires time and growth.  Nothing worth getting drops immediate and whole into your hands, especially those things of value that you want most.  Instant gratification is not growth, so set aside your impatience and reach for your dreams with the knowledge that the work (and the wait) will be worth it.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I benefit from adding more fun and play into my life?

Mystic Faerie TarotReading Summary: More opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) and less juggling (Two of Pentacles) while creating that sense of control (King of Swords) that I crave.

Take Away:  By introducing more fun and play into my life, it will allow me to open up to new opportunities to explore concerning  the development of resources that will allow me to juggle less and feel more in control of my fate.

This sounds counter-intuitive to me due to that whole “workaholic” side of my nature, but it also makes a lot of sense as well. This is because my main venue of making money and thus building my resources is through a creative source, this makes a lot of sense.  It speaks to the fact that creativity in and of itself is a kind of play.  And thus by allowing more play into my life, I am growing the skills I use to put food on the table (among other things).

By developing these skills through fun and play, I essentially “level up” in my abilities to bring in those resources and thus have to juggle less part time jobs and less responsibilities associated with those jobs in order to accomplish everything I want to accomplish.  This, in turn, gives me a more stable sense of control.

DECK USED:  MYSTIC FAERIE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question
: What is my card of the month?

Mystical Manga Tarot - Seven of WandsInterpretation:  This month’s card is the Seven of Wands.   The message in this card is that you have a choice in how you interact with the world.   You can view the world as your enemy always out to get you, taking a pessimistic view and using that view to put you in a constant place of defense and protection.   Or you can view the world as an adventure and you as the hero.

The first view leads to exhaustion and burnout.   The latter?  Creates a spark of life and fun that can then carry you forward and keep you alert and prepared, as well as light on your feet when challenges arrive.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL MANGA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does love mean to me?

Herbal Tarot

Reading Summary: Making the choice that speaks to your heart (The Lovers) and allow the harder parts of your insides to soften towards another (Parsley). Having the patience you otherwise wouldn’t (Temperance) and cleansing away the poison of intolerance as you accept the importance of the other person holds for you (Echinacea). Allowing someone in deep enough that you are vulnerable to being hurt (Three of Swords) and fostering a trust that will purge past hurts from your expectation of the present relationship (Pleurisy Root).

Take Away:  Love is about being vulnerable and letting go of the past so that it doesn’t influence the present.  It’s about listening to your heart instead of your emotions and finding that match that fits with you like a piece of a puzzle where your flaws are their strengths, and vice versa.   It’s about listening and healing and belonging.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT