Hephoe Tapo

Perfectly Imperfect

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Today’s meditation was yet again… skipped.  So much for accountability through blogging, right?  Right.

Черное Таро and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of control in action, moving forward with determination and willpower, motivation, and the success that is bred through these themes.

The combination of the Thera-Pets card joined with the Chariot speaks of rising above self doubt in order to acheive success.

Sometimes, when we have things to accomplish or goals to go after, we can have a bit of a struggle getting up the motivation to complete them. Especially if we’re stumbling over a bit of self doubt.

I personally struggle with the “not good enough” issue all the time. No matter how much I do, or how hard I work, or how -good- the things I create are? It’s never enough.  It’s a work in progress. I’m… a work in progress.

The cards today are a reminder that I don’t have to be perfect.  No one has to be perfect.  We can be amazing… without ever being anywhere close to perfect. We can be amazing… and we can accomplish our goals and have the successes that we dream of… even while we are perfectly imperfect.

DECK USED: ЧЕРНОЕ ТАРО AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The #EmbraceYourAlterEgo2021 Challenge for Sacred Grounds Tarot Club
Questions from October 8th and 10th

The Compleat Windrow Ravenswood Deck and Cruel Thing TarotWhat changes is my Alter Ego facing?
Crab Invasion, King of the Sea, Seven of Cups, The Moon

Pressure and potential overwhelm as you struggle to make choices on what to pursue and what to leave behind. Your focus is split and you are torn in multiple directions, which is creating inner conflict and uncertainty.

How does my Alter Ego overcome these challenges?
Three Cogs, Intersecting Flying Fish, The High Priestess, Ace of Coins

When new and unusual ideas come up, try them instead of automatically discounting them as impossible. Listen to your intuition instead of logic, for some impossible things are meant to be, if you’ll just give them a chance.

This is a reminder that you don’t have to put your emotional side away during the holiday rush. It is possible to balance both, but you have to be open to trying it.

DECKS USED: THE COMPLEAT WINDROW RAVENSWOOD DECK AND CRUEL THING TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt by E Roebuck-Jones
Questions for October 1st, 9th, and 12th

Черное ТароA message for my spiritual path.
Wheel of Fortune and Ten of Swords

Make sure that you aren’t treating every setback as some sort of catastrophe. Remember that ups and downs happen, and everything isn’t going to fall apart if you take a little rest here and there. That rest will actually help you deal with these ups and downs more gracefully.

What are my divination challenges?
Death atop The Hanged Man

Sometimes the pause you take to ponder over perspectives allows for shifts in the outcome to slip in and change things right under your nose. Your best readings will always be the ones where the answers leap out at you from the start. Thinking too much mucks up the works.

What is my biggest challenge with my spiritual practice?
Knight of Swords and The Magician

Impatience. Just because you have the tools and knowledge to do something doesn’t mean that thing is going to go quickly, or even be something you can do right away… or, for that matter, finish right away. This is something you struggle with often.

DECK USED: ЧЕРНОЕ ТАРО

Daily Self Kindness

I made sure to eat every three hours today while working on orders.  Since I have to go to my aunt’s tomorrow, I needed to get as much done today as I could, and so I had to use my phone to make sure I was prioritizing eating.

Claiming Control

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IMG_7119Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another guided meditation with interval timer.  The guided meditation today also included a chime which was intended to help keep the mind returning to the present and the breath.  This is because the topic of the guided meditation was just that.

That is to say, the topic was about sinking into the present and not allowing fixation with the past or the future to diminish your pleasure in the moment.  The thing is?  Most of humanity has a tendency to do just that.  To either get lost in thoughts of the past and memories, or distracted by plans for the future and daydreams.   These distractions take our mind away from the present, and make it difficult to fully enjoy all that the present has to offer.

Part of mindfulness meditation is the effort to train your mind to spend more time in the present, so that we can then carry that mindfulness of the present forward outside of meditation and into your day to day lives.

Tarot of Haunted House - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is a receptive alpha energy, personality or person in the area of one’s drive, passionate interests, enthusiasms, and willpower.  This often translates into themes that have to do with determination, confident independence, and strong figures that encourage the drive and ambitions of others.

One of the lesser known interpretations of the Queen of Wands lies in the concept of dominant sensuality, as in the blend of dominance and sensuality.   And that is what I see in the imagery of this card today.  I see a confident woman filled with strength and aware of her power and allure.   I see control in her hold on the trident of flames, and sensuality in the piano behind her (that might be just me because of my synesthesia).

The message here is about owning your power.  It’s about knowing your strengths and playing to them instead of disregarding them as useless or yourself as unworthy.  The message in this card is about making sure I know to step into tomorrow with confidence and determination, and place myself through my behavior and my inner strength in a place of power and control… thus owning that control rather than allowing my aunt to have it.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Ask your cards for something you are destined to explore or face. Draw as many cards as you see fit. Set an affirmation and conclude your reading with “… and so it is.”

Murder of Crows TarotSomething I am Destined to Explore/Face

When I look in the mirror, what do I see?  Do I see the man that I am now? Or the child I used to be?  (Six of Cups)
When I step into my entrepreneurial spark and allow it to fill my focus and time, do I carry with me the strength of the man I am?  Or do I hear my father’s cruel bark? (Ace of Wands)
Instead of listening to that voice of old, it’s time to learn a different way. I need to find the optimism I’ve lost and a way to inject joy into my work… something I had always been discourage from doing in my youth. (The Sun)

Affirmation

By collaborating with others, they bring support into the equation, and allow room to foster joy.  Let them help.  Let them provide that spark of pleasure, and allow them to give me the space I need to breathe and lighten my heart that had once been caged.   So it will be…. and thus so it is.

DECK USED:  MURDER OF CROWS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #1
Question: How can I give myself more space for my emotions, even during the busy time?

Curio TarotReading Summary: This is a learning process (The Hierophant).

The two left cards look into the past, but the wand in the center leans into the future. This speaks to me about how my lack of motivation (Four of Cups) and the desire to bump that motivation into high gear (Queen of Wands) both live in the past, but the practical advice on actually moving forward into my goals and allowing my emotions to have their own space does not lie back there, it lives in the future (tip of the wand in the Queen of Wands pointing to the right).

There is a hint of blue in the first two cards, one over the cup being ignored, and one upon the forehead of the Queen.  This blue feels like the scars my past treatment of myself have created both on my emotions (the cup) as well as my inner dialogue (Queen’s head).

The Hierophant looks into the future and leans in that direction… but his hand is palm up in the direction of the past, as if to indicate that the past needs to be held back or to be given a pause.

Take Away:  To give myself room to feel my emotions (even during the busy time) I need to leave my past in the past. This applies to my past habits, but also the treatment and events that taught me those habits in the first place.  It’s only by allowing the past to be in the past.  This isn’t about burying the past, but rather about accepting where it should live.

DECK USED:  CURIO TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How will the lesson of staying focused on balance, instead of allowing old habits of overworking to have free reign, impact my life?

Hephoe Tapo

Reading Summary: It will allow me to have more focus on my work (Eight of Pentacles) without it damaging my intuitive abilities (High Priestess Rx)… which in turn will allow me to find a more stable center (Queen of Pentacles) and move forward towards my ambitions with clarity (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  When I overwork myself, it has a habit of fizzling out a good portion of my intuitive side.   Things begin to feel unstable and I begin to feel lost and off center like I’m fumbling around drunk in the dark.

By staying focused on balance instead of allowing old work habits to rise up and take control, it gives me the opportunity to avoid being overwhelmed even while I continue with my work, allowing me to have that intuitive connection, stability, and direction that is lacking when I am flirting with burnout.

DECK USED:  HEPHOE TAPO

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How important is my spiritual altar to me?

Trionfi della Luna

Reading Summary: It’s more of a reminder of tradition (The Hierophant), than something that I use all the time (Three of Swords). But, it has its place in my journey and in keeping me grounded, as well as in making me feel that I have what I need (Nine of Coins).

Take Away:  I don’t use my altar all that often.  I mean… daily for my daily devotional, but I don’t really need an altar to do that devotional.  Aside from my devotional?  I don’t use it at all actually. My spellcraft is not done at my altar, my research and studies are not done there either, nor do my rituals take place there other than the already mentioned daily devotional.

Ultimately, it is a beautiful spot that is a soothing display of my faith and my values.  I enjoy it and the centered and grounded feeling that standing before it provides, and its beauty as well… but I wouldn’t call it necessary.

DECK USED:  TRIONFI DELLA LUNA

Making Yourself The Outsider

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Today’s meditation was skipped again today. I probably shouldn’t have, but I had so much crap to get done, plus a phone appointment with my shrink… and everything just got away with me a bit.  So.. it didn’t get done.  I do plan on giving it a go when I lie down to go to bed tho.

Tarot of Haunted House - Four of WandsToday’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of homecomings and celebration…. and celebratory homecomings.  There is a stability to this theme, and comfort as well.

There aren’t many cards in this deck I feel this way about, but I’m not really sure about the imagery for this card in this deck.  What I see here feels a lot more like a Hierophant card than the Four of Wands.  

That said, what really stands out to me in this card today is the four pillars and the burst of flame atop each of them.  That imagery of stability and celebration then draws my eye down to the knife held in a sacrificial downward angle, which then draws my eye down to the two figures that appear to have turned to look back at the viewer.

These three points feel like levels in this card, and what I see here is more about -not- feeling welcome.  It’s about feeling like an outsider. An outlier.  You can see the stability and the celebration in the distance, but there are forbidding obstacles between where you now stand and that comfort hinted at in the four pillars. 

The message here is to not allow issues with self worth or confidence cut you out of the places where you should belong.  These negative feelings and derogatory self-narratives that make you feel like an outsider?  They aren’t what others are thinking.  They are only what you are thinking.  Don’t project your self-worth issues on others and assume that they perceive you as you see yourself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus, this card today will be my focus.

Grim Tarock - Five of CitadelsThe collection of buildings along the cliff’s face are piled atop each other and disintegrating under the wear of time.  Rocks tumble  and foundations crumble.

The Five of Citadels is a reminder about upkeep.

When you do a little each day to care for the upkeep of those things that are important to you, over time these things wear well and remain in good condition, creating a long future.

If, on the other hand, you do not do that little bit of care each day, over time things deteriorate a little at a time.  And soon, you find that those things you care about have fallen apart and no longer hold value.

The focus that this card prompts for me today is to make sure I’m doing the little work.  One small thing a day is enough to help keep things from falling apart… whether that’s self care, or home care, or relationships…. or anything of value.

DECK USED:  GRIM TAROCK

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Where do you find meaning in your life?

Hephoe TapoQueen of Wands atop The Hierophant – Through my passion for teaching and guiding others. I have found, especially as I’ve gotten older, that I greatly enjoy guiding others to help them in finding their own unique path, and teaching them in different skills and knowledge that I’ve collected along the way in my own life.  I want to help others in finding their own passions, their own interests, and their own beliefs.  I love occasionally hearing when something I’ve offered up “clicks” for someone and helps them in their own journey, or just knowing that I’ve helped in some way in making their life “fit” them better in some way.

The Emperor – Having a sense of independence and control.  These are things I need in my life. I require them.  And, in fact, it is a need that I have built a good deal of my life around, from how I am employed to how my relationships with others work, and even in how I relate to people and the world around me. 

Knight of Swords atop Ten of Pentacles – Going after my ambitions towards stability, security, and a comfortable living.  I feel that this answer is as much about the “going after” as it is about the obtaining of this goal. While I feel a need for stability and structure?  I also feel that need to strive for something, to push for something.  This stability and security is a sort of “moving target” that constantly stimulates that need to strive for something… and at the same time manage to accomplish just enough to fulfill that constant need for security.

DECK USED:  HEPHOE TAPO

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the significance behind this missed message from yesterday?

Dark Grimoire Tarot

Reading Summary: Lean on others (Three of Pentacles) instead of killing yourself trying to juggle everything on your own (Two of Pentacles). Depending on others is a choice that you have to consciously make for yourself (The Lovers)… and it will make your life better and more emotionally fulfilling in the end (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  What these cards are saying is that I need to fill my life with people that love me and want to help.  By doing this, as time goes on, I will find the benefits spill over from my work and into my life at large and that even if I one day grown into a lonely old man alone in the world, I will feel emotionally fulfilled by all those past people that were a part of my life. The key here is that this is a choice.  A choice you make for yourself.  Letting people in is a choice that you have to start early and allow to then carry forward through the years ahead.

DECK USED:  DARK GRIMOIRE TAROT

An Emotional Buoy

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  I didn’t really want to, but I also didn’t want to spend hours and hours on the road today and that’s exactly what I did.   So… yeah.   It just didn’t happen.  When I got home from the drive, I ate and then laid down on the couch and crashed hard.

Tarot of Haunted House - The StarToday’s draw is the Star card, which is traditionally a representation of a hope, optimism, and a connection with spirituality and/or divinity.

This is a really interesting image in my opinion.  She is waist deep in water, hands clasped in prayer.  This connection to all that water that is seen in the card incorporates a great deal more emotion into the Star card than I usually see in this particular card.  Yes, the card means hope and optimism and potential…. but it also is usually about connecting with spirituality and bridging the gap between the physical and the spiritual.

Here, we see the star card fully immersed in the spiritual and emotional, and only the reeds that surround her hint at the physical aspects of the world.

What I see here as the message in the imagery of this card today has to do with connecting to my intuition and my faith, blending together inner knowledge and hope so that they are incorporated into one another.  I need to allow my spirituality and inner knowledge to help in lifting me up emotionally when I am feeling that I stand on unsteady ground.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: What energy is available to me this month?

Hephoe Tapo

Reading Summary: Ignore (Eight of Swords) moderation (Temperance) and go after fulfillment (Nine of Cups). Don’t close yourself off from others right now (The Hermit Rx).

Take Away:  The energy available to me this month is exactly as it should be for this time of year.  I need that “plow forward” momentum in order to prep for what’s to come when next month rolls around.  The reminder in the reversed Hermit is simply to not put my head down so long that I lose touch with others in the process.

DECK USED:  HEPHOE TAPO

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my ancestors / ancestry at this time?

Nicoletta Ciccoli TarotI am currently moving towards a more face to face relationship (Left Card) and budding collaboration (Center Card)… but I’m not quite there yet. They are still in the peripheral (Right Card).

There is a color coordination between the two left cards that indicates a connection between them.  Where the girl’s hair in the far left is orderly and coifed, in the center card it is frizzed out and all over the place. This hair change combined with the flutterbys in the air in the center card indicate that I need to reach for that inner voice and use it to “listen” to the energies around me.

I’m on the right track and I’m getting there in finding that closer relationship.  The left card indicates that I am actively pursuing this and putting effort into it.  The far right card indicates that it is paying off by creating stronger threads between myself and my guides/ancestors.  More reflection is needed (her eyes are closed) and more time needed (the darkness surrounding her in the background).

DECK USED:  NICOLETTA CICCOLI TAROT – MODIFIED – TRIMMED OFF TITLES AND BORDERS

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: Pull a card. How does this card relate to my greater purpose?

Zombie Tarot - King of CupsThe King of Cups indicates that my greater purpose in this incarnation on earth is in the efforts I’m currently delving into, and learning how to not just connect to my emotions, but connect with other’s emotions as well, and find a balance between those emotions and my responsibilities.  

I would be neglectful to not mention that the King of Cups is also a representation of Gideon for me. In the aspect of this reading, the inference here is that he is not just meant to be a part of my life and someone that I very much believe my soul returns to again and again, but also someone that is here to help teach me how to get to know my emotions, feel them and learn them, and relate them to others, as well as help me in  find that balance between emotions and responsibility as more and more of my emotional self is unveiled and brought to the surface to be processed.

DECK USED:  ZOMBIE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Can I be open about my spirituality?

Ritual Abuse Tarot

Reading Summary: It might freak some people out sometimes (The Moon) which may cause some backlash (The Dog in the Moon), but you are comfortable and confident in your path (Two of Wands), and your inner compass and intuition know the way forward (The High Priestess).

Take Away:  The reading sort of took a sideways turn off the question because the question wasn’t really all that relevant to me.  I am very open about my spirituality.  It’s not so much that I shout it from the rooftops or tell everyone I meet, so much as I make no active effort to hide it… and am happy to mentor others when they appear in my life in need of guidance I can offer. I am not in the “broom closet” and haven’t been since I left my parent’s home at sixteen years old.  Sixteen years later?  I have absolutely no interest in stepping into the closet at this point.

DECK USED:  RITUAL ABUSE TAROT