Don’t Dig In Your Heels

IMG_8447Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app with added interval timer for my piriformis and forearm stretches.

Today’s guided meditation was focused upon gratitude, not just for the good stuff in life, but through the struggles we go through as well.  It’s the struggles that build our character and make us into the people we are. They show the true us, and show us what we’re made of.  It’s important to acknowledge the struggles and problems we go through instead of trying to forget them because of that, and to be grateful for the growth that these times foster within us as well as within our relationships and those around us as well.

The Keymaster Tarot - Death, Queen of SpadesToday’s draw is Death atop the Queen of Spades.  Death is traditionally a representation of natural change that develops organically over time.
The Queen of Spades is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of intellect and thought, reason and logic, as well as communication in all its forms.

What stands out to me the strongest in these cards today is the bull-like horns that the queen wears on her head.  These horns speak to me of stubbornness, and the death card atop this card that contains these horns indicates a need to slow down and think long and hard before digging in your heels on something.

I’m a notoriously stubborn person.  Not that I fight with others or use conflict to get my way.  I simply do what I want and continue on through obstacles that get in my way with dogged persistence. The thing is, though, sometimes this stubbornness can cause me to miss things… such as better ways to go about doing things, or different ways to get where I want to go…. or that there’s something better to aim for entirely.  This is where the death card comes in to remind me to pay attention and allow change to happen along the way.  Don’t stay so doggedly on a single point or path that I shut change out or try to push it away.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about.. and give it a go!
Spread:  Pull four cards and lay them out in two teams. The two in the first team are the enemies, they represent two obstacles you’re currently battling. The second team is the two heroes, they represent two ways you can overcome these obstacles. Time to fight!

Faerie's Oracle by Brian FroudTwo Obstacles You’re Currently Battling

The Singer of Connection – Isolation and a feeling of being bereft and alone. I have been struggling with this lately without realizing it, closing myself off to get through the orders that needed to be done on the 28th, the errands done on the 29th, the sorting and chores done on the 30th, the work and exhaustion of the 30th. All of these have conspired to leave me feeling disconnected and alone.

The Singer of Healing – When I am cut off from those that support me and allow that sense of well-being to flourish, my healing of the self begins to slow to a halt. In the wake of that halt, negative feelings of betrayal, distrust, and abandonment rise up to the surface and begin to pick apart not just my mind and spirit, but also my body as a slippery slope of negative thoughts and emotions take hold.

Two Ways You Can Overcome These Obstacles

The Bodacious Bodach – Get yourself organized and stop allowing chaos to reign. When you allow the days to just take on a life of their own and do their own thing, you find that your time gets stolen away and given to a crapload of shit you don’t really need to do and won’t help you in feeling better.  You need structure, even during your time off.

Geeeeeooo the Slooow – While Bodach might help you in getting organized and creating some loose structure during your time off, make sure that you don’t allow that organization to make you feel cocky enough that you put more on your plate than is healthy at a time when you should be resting.  Take your time and relax. Nothing is pressing at this time.  Chill.

The Potential Results of This Battle

Ffeff the Ffooter – A slowing down.  A grounding.  A time of self care and re-centering. Respect yourself and your needs, respect the earth and your connection with the earth.  Take this time to find your balance and get your feet well rooted and your energy stable. Taking a pause to do these things is the best result possible you can get out of this conflict between these opposing forces.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How has the Tarot/Oracle increased my insight over the past year?

Steampunk Tarot

Reading Summary: Over the past year tarot/oracle has taught me how to be more generous with myself (Six of Pentacles) so that I spend less time hiding from myself and those things that could hurt me (Eight of Swords) and stealing away my power (Seven of Swords).

Take Away: There’s a lot of shit that I wandered around ignoring for a long time.  Internal wounds and issues that I didn’t want to deal with and shoved aside, pretending they didn’t exist or didn’t influence my life.  The truth is, though, that the only person I hurt with this attitude was myself.  Instead of dealing with these things, they crept around under the surface out of sight, stealing away my strength and my power while I was busy trying to pretend that they didn’t exist. 

Over the past year, I’ve begin pulling those things out of their dark corners and shining a light on them, and in doing so I’ve discovered that a lot of the negative ways in which I treat myself stem from these things. And, that by being kind to myself, I’m able to help reverse some of the damage, and take some of my power back as a result.


What Goes Up Must Come Down

IMG_8380Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app with added interval timer for my piriformis and forearm stretches.

Today’s topic for the guided part of the meditation was on the theme of “every day is the first day of the rest of your life” and how, when we keep this in mind, whether that’s every day, or every hour, or even every minute, it allows us to sink more firmly into the present and into those things that we want out of life, as opposed to being dragged down and distracted by the troubles and struggles of what came before.

Living Tarot - JusticeToday’s draw is the Justice card, which is traditionally a representation of cause and effect, repercussions and consequences, and can often be related to the law and justice system.

What stands out to me the strongest on this card is the jagged edges on the lightning strikes and how it contrasts so strongly with the soft swirls of the clouds above.

This speaks to me of the unexpected.  Sometimes when we do something we don’t expect the repercussions to be as harsh or heavy as they are and it takes us by surprise.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that we were treated badly or the consequence was to harsh in relation to the act that got us there… but it means that sometimes we need to think more deeply on what was done and how it affected others.

In other words, what goes up must come down, so choose your battles wisely.  Consider how you are effecting others and factor that into your actions. I think we all forget that part sometimes, myself included.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Which is more important… love or trust?

Tarot of the Holy SpectrumReading Summary: Over-indulging (Three of Cups Rx) in generosity (Six of Pentacles) will create a sense of emotional satiation (Nine of Cups), but also a situation where hard work is needed (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: Love is one of those things that provides emotional satiation, and trust is something that requires hard work to foster and strengthen.

This is a story about moderation, and it indicates that neither love or trust is more important than the other. Instead, they both have pitfalls and positive influences.  They are equally important.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How will I continue with the changes that are happening?

Naked Heart Tarot

Reading Summary:  Be aware that when you are feeling discouraged and down on your luck (Five of Pentacles), your immature emotional reaction (Spirit of Cups) is to fall into your addictions head first (The Devil).

Take Away:  They key here is in the awareness of the emotions and understanding that this reaction is immature and that there’s a better way.   The Spirit of Cups here indicates not just that immaturity, but also the ability to understand and learn from it, and find a better way to deal with things in the future.   One that is more mature and healthier.


Love Languages

IMG_8357Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app with added interval timer for my piriformis and forearm stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation is about the nature of life’s impermanence. This meditation is really apropos due to it being so close to the end of the year, and part of the discussion included the mention of new years resolutions, and how hard it can be to keep them because life is constantly changing, and sometimes those resolutions we make just don’t carry forward well from what we wanted of the year before into what is going to be ours in the year ahead.

Giotto Tarot - Queen of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, home life, health, and manifestations. This often translates into a nurturing figure or energy that wants to foster the health of, or help with the stability of, others.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the heart on top of the queen’s crown.  Pentacles are not really a suit that is all that focused on the emotions, but in the Queen we see that the things done for others here are an expression of the love and caring they may not be comfortable expressing in other ways.

The message here is to pay attention to how others express their feelings for you and for those they care about.  It’s not always as clear cut as what they say, but is sometimes in what they do instead.


LionHart’s 20/21 Tarot Challenge Prompt
: What of 2020 do I take with me on my 2021 journey?

Vintage Japanese Art Tarot

Reading Summary: Responsibilities (King of Swords) raking me over the coals of anxiety (Nine of Swords) are giving way to allow an opportunity for a new and different tact (Ace of Swords) that welcomes in more enthusiasm and enjoyment along the way (The Fool)

Take Away:  Along my journey through 2020, I’ve learned a bit on how to worry a little less, and enjoy life a little more. This is something I’m encouraged to take forward into the new year and utilize to find a better, healthier, and more enjoyable way of doing things that doesn’t take so much out of me along the way.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do I need to focus on for self-care this full moon?

Silver Witchcraft TarotReading Summary:  Your connection with Gideon (Two of Cups) gives you strength (Strength) and allows you to find a grounding center you need right now (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away: Time in nature isn’t the only way in which you find your center and ground. You also need the strength and reassurance and connection that you have with Gideon as well.

Right now it feels like I’m playing a losing game of “catching up”, and the reminder here is that there’s more that I need to tend to for myself than just tasks that need to be done and a little extra sleep.


Work Hard Today, Rest Tomorrow

IMG_8343Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis and forearm stretching.

The topic of today’s meditation was about how unhealthy it is to let the myriad of stressors build up over time until the world can feel chaotic even when it really isn’t.

When there’s a lot to do and many responsibilities on your shoulders, that negative inner voice can easily slip in and make it feel like you’re not getting anywhere and suck the joy and pleasure out of your days.  The key discussed in the meditation is to make sure that you are aware of those things that are eating at you so that you can “put them in their place” instead of letting them run rampant in your head.

Madam Clara Sees All Fortune Tarot - Eight of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Eight of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of hard work and the expertise you can gain in having spent time developing a skill or ability.  In this card, this concept is very clearly expressed in the quote on the card itself, which says “Focus and determination leads you to master a new skill.”

There’s something about the colors in this deck that really appeals to me, and I’m not sure why as I’d normally consider them to clash and be a bit garish.

Today is a prep day before I ship out orders after having taken a few days off in the wake of the holiday rush, and the card’s message is to apply your skills to the task at hand and knock it out.

It’s a good message, as I have more orders to get through today than I’d anticipated, and it’s going to take a lot of time and hard work to get there.  I will get there, though.  And the reward on the other side is a longer bit of a break and breather.


LionHart’s 20/21 Tarot Challenge Prompt
: A 2021 reminder for times when I struggle with myself or my dreams.

Witches' Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes when you’re feeling enthusiastic and in control (The Chariot) with new projects (Ace of Pentacles), make sure you take a pause to ground (Four of Pentacles) and get in touch with your inner voice (The High Priestess).

Take Away:  The thing with enthusiasm over something new is that even when you think you’re in total control?  You’re not.  You’re flying by the seat of your pants and winging it while feeling empowered… which is not the same as being fully in control. This can often cause you to steer off course if you’re not careful.

During those moments, which happen to me often when I become enthusiastic about a new project, I need to remember to take a moment to make sure my feet are on the ground and I’m being realistic, and get in touch with that inner self that always knows the next step that is good for me and my path forward.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: Where in my life do I need to work on better boundaries in the year ahead?

Giotto TarotReading Summary:  It’s going to be important to make sure you are sticking to strong boundaries concerning your work/life balance (Two of Pentacles) and getting the grounding you need to stay healthy (Four of Pentacles).  Don’t allow self doubts and other insecurities and uncertainties (The Moon), nor impulsive distractions (Knave of Swords), to encroach from the shadows and lead you astray.

Take Away: When I am dealing with uncertainty, I have a habit of falling back on old bad habits.  It’s impulse due to habit and fear, and it upsets the balance I’m working so hard to foster and grow in my life, upsetting the apple cart, so to speak.


Look Before You Leap

IMG_8331Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis and forearm stretches.

The topic of today’s meditation was about appreciating your connections with others.  Sometimes, we take those connections and interactions for granted, and it can be hard to remember that each moment we share with others is precious.

I think that this is an excellent message, and perhaps even more important now (to myself and others) than normal when so many of us are living lives far more isolated than we ever have before. In my own life, this message really hit home considering Mister R’s current situation and the risk he is in of passing.  As much as he’s always been a hard ass, he’s also been a substitute grandparent to me since my youth.  I look down at the time I spent with him and I worry there won’t be anymore, or that I didn’t appreciate all that time that I had with him enough.

Inkromancy Tarot - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of taking action to go after those things that spark your drive and passions, feeling that spark of inspiration burning bright and driving you onward, and diving into adventurous pursuits.

This card can also represent impulsivity, and that’s what I see here as what stands out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card is the skull that is formed in the rippling sands that the snail is moving into.   Snails need moisture and a desert in Egypt (see the pyramids in the background) so no place for a snail to be diving into.  Yet the rider drives the snail on, either uncaring or ignorant of the certain death about to become of his steed.

The message here is about making good choices, and how important it is to pause and use your brain instead of diving forward mindless and focused on your goal without any planning or thought for strategy or consequences.

The message here reflects back to my own life in the feelings that both Z and myself have been feeling all day concerning Mister R.   We want to go.  To just hop in the car and GO and be a support to her mother and be closer to help and comfort and lend our strength.  But doing so would be a folly.  A dangerous folly for he is very weak and when he comes home from the hospital he is going to be at extremely high risk.  Her mom is also a high risk person.  Going just to go?  Is not safe for either of them and could very well be disastrous, no matter how badly we both want to be there.


LionHart’s 20/21 Tarot Challenge Prompt
: How can I keep nurturing my dreams and desires throughout 2021?

Tarot of the Holy Spectrum

Reading Summary:  Work at avoiding episodes of debilitating burnout (Ten of Wands Rx) by taking control of yourself and your environment (The Emperor) so that you can get the rest you need when it’s needed (Four of Swords).

Take Away:  In the summer of this year, I had started scheduling myself a handful of days off now and then.  This is something I’ve never done before, but in the early part of the year I’d found myself hitting a brick wall of burn out over and over again in fast rotation.  It turned out that having these days off helped with that, and I didn’t have any more burnouts the rest of the year (although I was very close with the holiday rush, but that’s another beast all together).

The answer to how I can facilitate my dreams and desires throughout the year ahead is to continue with that practice.  Make time to step away for a few days each month.  I need to turn away from the business for a bit and take a breath, and in doing so, give myself the fresh eyes and fresh energy I need to dive back in again without the sharp claws of burnout raking at my shoulders.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #3

Shadow TarotThistle: How can I ward off the blues that are trying to encroach now that the holidays are ending?

Three of Cups – Sink into enjoying time with loved ones and let them to uplift your spirits.  Z and L are not just comforting, but they’re both pretty damned silly and fun as well.  Allow them to sweep you up in that fun now and then.

Garnet: How can I purify myself to help find a better balance for the new year ahead?

The Devil – It’s time to seek control over your addictions instead of allowing them to have free reign. You did a lot of spending over the past year, but it’s time to slow down a bit and let other things take priority.  This doesn’t mean cutting yourself off entirely, so don’t create a situation where you will feel the need to binge later… just slow down and pay more attention to where your focus lies and what you’re doing.

Yew: What practices need resurrected in my life to protect my personal well-being?

Four of Swords – More rest.  This was mentioned as well in my Lionhart’s Challenge reading for today.  Now that the holiday rush is over I need to turn back to giving myself a few days off each month, allowing for time and focus to shift away from the business and giving myself the reprieve and rest I need to stave off overwhelm and burnout.

Diamond: How can my imagination foster more fearlessness in my life?

The Hermit – The words that flickered through my mind when I saw this card land on the table are “shine a light on it”.  Imagination and creativity often go hand in hand, and in order to foster more fearlessness in my life, I need to shine a light on those imaginings and possibilities, and encourage their growth rather than tucking them away in the shadows and ignoring them.

Holly: How can I create longevity in the fertile soil of my new endeavors?

King of Wands – Use all that inspiration, drive, and experience to claim what is rightfully yours.  You are fierce in your entrepreneurial spark, let that spark glimmer and glow, and use it not just to drive your own endeavors forward, but to inspire others to your cause.

Emerald: How can a closer connection to hearth & home affect my sense of loyalty?

King of Pentacles – You are the king of your own castle, and in this position as leading at the helm, others naturally fall into line in your footsteps, respecting your opinion and authority while trusting you to care for those things that need dealt with, and delegate as needed.  This sense of stability and security fosters trust and loyalty, strengthening that connection to those nearest and dearest (and under your roof).

Peppermint: What methods can I use to best stimulate my mind when I need a boost?

Nine of Cups – Wallow in the good stuff. Sometimes you just need to focus on the present and take some time to ignore the crap and enjoy the good stuff that makes you happy.  They’re nothing wrong with a little “good stuff” focused “vacation” now and then.


Time To Get Moving

IMG_8321Today’s meditation was just about twelve minutes long and was another guided meditation with interval timer, because even though I talked yesterday about mixing things up, this morning was too chaotic and stressful to deal with the change up so I did the same meditation I’ve been doing for the past month instead.

Today’s meditation was about taking a break when you need one and not putting yourself down about it when you do.  And honestly?  As many times as I hear this message and as many ways as it comes across to me through thoughts, the cards, and other outside sources?  I still struggle with it… which is perhaps why it continues to come up so often.

Steampunk Tarot - Three of WandsToday’s draw is the Three of Wands, which has been coming up for me quite a lot recently.  The Three of Wands is traditionally a representation of direction and putting plan into action.

As tomorrow and Monday are going to be order processing days and packaging days, it makes sense that this came up today, as it was an encouragement to at least look at my work and get an idea of what I need to do so that I can start on that path forward.

Included in this is of course what has been on all our minds here in this house all day long, which is Mr R’s visit to the hospital this morning. He is like a grandfather for me, and I believe that this card holds a double meaning for today in its message.

The secondary side of the message for the Three of Wands today is that there are certain things that we need to mobilize into action.  Not that today is the day, but more of a warning that we need to be ready to act, and act fast, when the time comes… and that time very well could be very soon.


LionHart’s 20/21 Tarot Challenge Prompt
: What can I do right now to set the stage for my dreams and desires?

The Keymaster Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop ignoring the stuff that is good for you (Five of Hearts) and take time to acknowledge those things you’ve done that were difficult (Six of Clubs). Accept that sometimes getting where you want to go takes time, and you’re going to have to just keep plugging at it and getting there one small step at a time over time (Seven of Diamonds).

Take Away:  To set the stage for my dreams and desires I need to make sure I’m taking care of myself and appreciating my accomplishments rather that discounting them as never enough.  Physically, mentally, and emotionally I need the boost that both of these things can provide. 

At the same time, I need to make sure I’m keeping my impatience and demanding need to “push” myself always harder at bay.  Working in a sustainable way that will allow myself to continue over long term is better than a short sprint that leads to burnout and exhaustion, the need for recovery, and then another short sprint.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: What last minute preparations for the new year need my focus?

Tarot of Light and ShadowReading Summary: At first glance this looks like I need to prepare for another lock down… But surely that can’t be right?  In this interpretation, the cards indicate a time of seclusion in my home (Four of Wands) that is not necessarily healthy (The Hermit Rx), and the need to find things to do to keep me engaged during that time (Ace of Wands).

Although this is my intuitive read on the cards, I’d prefer to believe this is NOT the correct interpretation (mostly… because I don’t wanna go into another lockdown and think the government is far to fractured and fragmented to make one actually happen).

Take Away: So…. lockdown or no lockdown… cards here are indicating that the opportunity for unhealthy alone time at home is possible in the near future, and in order to make sure I get through that time in a healthy way I need to ensure I have engaging new activities to keep me focused and in a positive and healthy place.