Reigning in Distractions

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long, and came after the second prolonged yoga/physio routine.  It was another of the harp strings with interval timers, but as with last time, I added in some extra stretching to help ease some of the tension of the new yoga work I’m doing.  I didn’t do the extra work yesterday, and I won’t tomorrow. I want to ease into it so I’m doing it every other day for the time being.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is Four of Water (Four of Cups) which is traditionally a representation of emotional reevaluation of a situation, meditative contemplation, or withdrawal which on an emotional level  can turn into an apathetic outlook.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of today’s card is all the motion and movement.   This is not something that I really associate with the fours of… well, any suit, really.   Fours, to me, are about stability and so all of the movement seems a bit counter-intuitive to the traditional meaning of this card.

The other thing that stands out to me in this card, though, is that the dogs on this card are wearing collars.

The movement combined with the collars brings my mind to the swirling of thoughts that go through one’s head when they can’t settle. And so maybe this does tie back to the traditional meaning after all, because what I see here in this card is the constant attempts of the mind trying to interrupt times of meditation. This is something that happens to everyone, and when we catch ourselves in the middle of meditation that is being interrupted by stray thoughts or emotions, we grab on to the “collar” of those thoughts and tug them back in line.   And yet, they always start running around again soon enough.

The message in today’s card is about accepting that this happens, and that it’s normal that this happens. It’s okay that the mind wanders during meditation as long as you catch yourself and bring your attention back to center again… no matter how many times it takes.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to maintain motivation.
Question:
What aspects of my current routine might be helpful in achieving my goals?

New Palladini Tarot

Reading Summary: My self-defeating behaviors (Five of Swords) are actually a powerful tool (The Magician) in fostering hope and spiritual awareness (The Star).

Take Away:  This is a reminder that not all of my goals are centered around financial stability and security.  Growth in those areas is great, but my distractions and self-defeating behavior (such as slacking off, sometimes falling behind, etc) in these areas also opens myself up to those other types of growth that need to take place. 

DECK USED:  NEW PALLADINI TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question:
  Is morality relative?

Tarotbot TarotReading Summary: Some things are constant no matter where you are or who you are (The Sun).

On the other hand, some things are more about inner perceptions (Four of Wands) and experiences (Ten of Swords). These things are relative.

Take Away:  Like the sun in the sky and the need for life on our planet to be nurtured by it, some things are universal and that includes some aspects of morality.  On the other hand, there is a great deal of morality that is based upon perception and experience, either through individuals or through societal experience.

The cards indicate that morality is not a whole, but rather is a conglomeration of pieces that are brought together through both universal values and personal/societal experiences.  So it is both relative in some areas… and not in others.

DECK USED:  TAROTBOT TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
absolute truth // opinion // misconception // lesson

Midcenturian Tarot

Absolute TruthThe World and Wheel of Fortune – All life moves in cycles.

OpinionTemperance and Eight of Cups – Walking away from something is the same as peaceful restraint.

MisconceptionKnight of Cups – Emotions don’t have to be full on all the time.

Don’t forget that the experience of one’s emotions is subjective to the person experiencing them and the memory of those emotions is influenced by what comes out of them.

LessonFive of Cups Rx – Letting go of pessimism and that inner narrative of negativity in order to choose a lighter path.

DECK USED:  MIDCENTURIAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  What am I being called to create now?

Evolution Tarot

Reading Summary:  You can create balance in your relationship with your responsibilities (Two of Coins) if you’re willing to practice patience and allow for your growth to continue at a slow pace (Seven of Coins). Enjoy your time with those nearest and dearest to you (Two of Potions), and give yourself space to grow (Page of Coins).

Take Away:  What I am being called to create right now isn’t about manifesting a physical item in the world, but rather I am being called to create space within my life for growth, and patience to allow that growth to take place by spending time building my relationships with those I love rather than focusing on pushing forward and rushing things.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

Struggling With Disappointment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and one of the harp strings meditations with the interval chimes to walk me through my piriformis stretching.  I had a little bit of difficulty focusing today during the meditation, probably because today was one of my “long ass drive” days and I was really far more interested in getting my ass on the road than taking the time to meditate.  I did do it, though, no matter how much I felt the need to squirm my way through it.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Five of Water (Five of Cups) which is traditionally interpreted as an indication of pessimism or apathy. It is, essentially, the “glass half empty” card and can often be interpreted not just as pessimism or disappointment, but also themes to do with one’s attitudes around failure.

I’m  not going to go into goldenseal today, as what is really important about this card today, and the message that lies within it, is twofold and already very evident to me.  The first message being that when you have that “meh” feeling, it’s important to pay attention to it instead of just following where it leads. What is it really about? Why has it surfaced? Why are you following it so blindly instead of examining it closely? Don’t just accept it at face value.

The second message in the appearance of this card today has to do with the incident with my mother.  I feel like an idiot for being excited when I opened a surprise package from my mother and found her Hoi Polloi inside.   I should have known better than to think it was just a kindness because she knows it was something I want.  I should have known that it would be an effort to manipulate me in some way.

I was stupid not to realize it, or at least suspect.  I didn’t, and the feeling of disappointment and pessimistic unpleasantness that came when she displayed her true colors yet again and showed me that the ‘gift’ was really a manipulation tactic… was crushing.   Again.  And thus comes in the Five of Cups.

I need to turn remember what I have that is good instead of focusing on the shit.  I guess I’m just… taking a moment to throw my own pity party first.  I won’t let it last, though, I promise.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:
  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:
  What causes me to be resistant toward rest?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Reading Summary: The fear that if I don’t keep going and juggling everything (Two of Pentacles) that shit will fall apart (The Tower)… It also allows me to avoid owning my own emotions (King of Cups Rx).

Take Away:  If I’m too busy to rest, then I’m too busy to deal with my emotions, and thus I have an excuse to bury them instead of dealing with them.  This, combined with my constant fear of “dropping the ball” and everything crashing down around me as a result are the things that most significantly influence why I’m resistant toward rest.

DECK USED:  HANSON ROBERTS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: 
What in my life could benefit from more honesty?

Evolution TarotReading Summary:  You can have all the tools in the world (The Magician) and all the resources you need at your disposal (King of Coins), but any addiction allowed to flourish out of control will knock you on your ass if given the opportunity to do so (The Devil).

Take Away:  This is why even though moderation is not at all my favorite thing, it is so very important.  I’ve admitted this before that I was a bit fast and loose with my money over late-spring and early-summer.  That sort of thing is nice now and then, but it’s not sustainable for long.

What needs could benefit from more honesty in my life is that I need to look close at my spending and do the work to get things back on the moderate side of self-control again.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
share // save

Women of Science TarotShareTen of Nano (Water) – Share the love.  This isn’t about money or resources, it’s about support and emotion.  It’s about love, and sharing that love with those that are important to you and closest to you.   With what happened with mom today, my first instinct was to close up and curl in on myself.  A better route is to stay open and share my feelings with others that love and understand me.

SaveSeven of Macro (Earth) – Slow growth takes time, preservation, and conservation.  It isn’t something immediate, but gradual.  This takes patience.  It’s important to make sure you don’t throw patience out the window when you feel frustrated.  Instead, take a deep breath and persevere.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

 

Familiar Comforts

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I admit that I was a little distracted because I was eager to get out and go hiking. I did a second meditation in the woods lying naked on the forest floor in the mountains before going above the treeline, and that was much more relaxing. Although I didn’t time it, I would estimate the meditation probably lasted about half an hour… maybe a bit longer.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Ten of Air (Ten of Swords) which is traditionally read as “the end of the line” of the tragedies of the Swords suit and is a culmination of the suit’s struggles.  It indicates themes that have to do with defeat, betrayal, and wounds that cut deep.

What stood out strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is the defeated slump of Medusa’s posture, but even more so… the snake that is closest to her face which then brings my attention to the others in the light… and from there the others yet still hidden in the shadows. In noticing this I feel that they must offer some sort of comfort.  They have been with her all this time and are surely, even as they are a part of her, also a comfort to her that they are there in this moment.

The message in today’s card is about not allowing times when you feel defeated by wounds (internal or external) that have cut you down also isolate you. Take comfort in others, seek out those that love you and care about you, find those that will sit and make space for you to just be… you.   Don’t look to them to solve anything, but take comfort in their presence and the fact that they are there.   You are not alone.

With my subdrop sure to be just around the corner, today’s card is a reminder that when I am feeling out of sorts from the drop, you are there for me to help me through.  Just your presence makes things better and eases that ache inside my soul.  I need to not hold myself apart and strive instead to move in closer and let you soothe the drop and untangle those inner knots that the drop creates.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question: 
How can I be more mindful about challenging and correcting negative self-talk?

Way of the Panda Tarot

Reading Summary: Remember to look at things from another angle (Judgement) and pay attention to the fact that you really have done a lot (Ten of Pentacles) and you’re a hard worker with great deal of hard earned skill (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: Instead of allowing my inner narrative to have free reign, pay attention to what you hear with your ears and take that to heart. You’ve spent your life refusing to allow people’s perceptions of you matter, but those same perceptions can boost you up and create a positive narrative to help you in counteracting the negative inner dialogue you deal with on a constant basis.

Remember as well that you have created a comfortable life not just for yourself, but for L as well.  You share your stability and comfort with others, and are more than capable of sustaining it going forward.  The skills you have worked so hard to master, and have used to create this stability  in your life, are not going to just disappear.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:
  How can I feel more grounded on my life’s current path?

Evolution TarotReading Summary: Make sure you are getting the alone time that you need (The Hermit) and use that time to forge a new path for your inner dialogue (Knight of Swords). Keep in mind that positivity and optimism (The Star) is not a natural state for you and takes repetition and diligence (Knight of Swords again).

There is a theme of darkness and purple through each of these three cards that does not carry through the entire deck.  This speaks to me of not just solitude, but peaceful solitude.  This is why I indicate that the cards say that I need to use the alone time for distancing from my normal inner critic’s dialogue.

Take Away:  Peaceful alone time and continued work on the optimism perspective will combine to give me an increased feeling of grounding in my life at this time. Neglecting my alone time now that I have the opportunity to get it (even if not in the same ways I could before) is detrimental and I need to make sure I’m fitting that in.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question:
  pencil // pen  // permanent marker // tattoo

Slavic Tarot

Recipe For A Good Life

Pencil in the hardships.
Add strength and purpose in pen.
Write in nurturing balance in permanent marker.
And tattoo motivation and drive into your soul.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How can I think more creatively?

Karma Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t allow (Seven of Wands) your addictions (The Devil) to get in the way of your motivation (Eight of Wands).

Take Away:  Having an addictive personality is a bitch.  Just sayin’.   But it’s really hard sometimes to force yourself away from the stuff that feels good and you want more of.  Whether that’s certain foods, or sleep, or whatever…  So many things seem so innocuous but can become a mess of addiction and patterns that need to be broken so easily… so very easily.

The cards here indicate that it’s by staying on top of that addictive personality trait and making sure it’s kept in hand that allows my creativity free reign to flourish and grow.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT