dreaming way tarot

What the Heart Wants

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and six seconds, and focused on stillness and silence.  Specifically, it focused on the restorative power of having a moment of silence.  How this moment can refresh you and help you recover from the cacophony of everyday life. 

The meditation included not so much following the breath, but focusing upon the moment of pause between the inhales and exhales.    I found this practice very relaxing.

Today’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is an indication of determination, energy, and strength in the area of emotions, creativity, and relationships.  This is a card of purpose and movement, and as such, it speaks of being lead by the heart to make changes and move away from the things that are not working for you.

The Eight of Cup’s appearance today has spurred me to sit down and look at what isn’t working for me.   I look around and I find myself dissatisfied, but it has taken a good deal of time to realize that the dissatisfaction hinted at inside has to do with the mess I am surrounded in.

Running a business from home is a messy thing, especially running a creative business.  Yes, I know where everything is, but there’s stuff…. everywhere.  Piled on the coffee table, stacked on flat surfaces around the house. It’s become a bit stressful, actually.

I think it’s time to start looking at a new system.  Or perhaps just altering and refining the system I currently have.   Things have gotten a bit out of hand and it’s time to clean up, clear up the chaos, so that my creativity can flow more smoothly.

Within the same theme, yet on a different thread, the Eight of Cups speaks to me in another way as well.    I really enjoyed our time together last night.   The amount of separation lately has been difficult for you, and it’s not working for me either.  I woke up feeling so much better internally this morning, and I could trace that feeling back to you.

I feel I need to move towards finding a better way to manage my time and activities so that we can have some more time together.  I’ve had some false starts and tripped over my feet a few times on this since emerging from my depression this spring.   I am determined to make this change, though.   I miss you.  I miss our time together.  Not that we don’t get time now, but…. it’s not enough.

Getting in Touch with Responsibilities

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and six seconds, and focused on the practice of Metta. This is mantra meditation, where you focus your mantra upon yourself first, and then picture a recipient in your mind to focus it out ward upon them. For example, today’s mantra was “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be at peace.”

I directed this mantra, when it was time to do so, to you. After our conversation yesterday, it feels like these ‘blessings’ are something that you are in need of right now, and I hope the energy that I directed your way helps you in finding that happiness, wellness, safety, and peace that you felt lacking in last night.

Today’s card is the fourth card of the Major Arcana, The Emperor. As with all Major Arcana cards, this card is focused on “the big picture” instead of smaller factions of the human experience.

The Emperor is a “father figure” card of responsibility, authority, and goals pertaining to the “greater good”.

The appearance of the Emperor in today’s draw ties into the readings I did yesterday for my Self-Care work, as well as the morning’s daily draw. The emerging theme of yesterday’s readings was one focused on compassion, and yesterday’s draw was Temperance.

The Emperor requires both of these to bring about positive consequences and be the embodiment of a just, fair, and balanced authority. He is focused on what is important to him, what he values most, rather than on the new and the frivolous.

This is a continuation of yesterday’s lesson, and a reminder to focus on the now. The Emperor card is pointing out that my actions and their consequences affect more than just myself, and to pay heed to this when considering my future actions.

Moderation is The Key

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes in length, and focused on enlightenment.  During the guided meditation, it discussed how when one seeks enlightenment, you will never find it, for you cannot “be complete” if you are still searching.  Ie: if you are always reaching for more than where you currently are, you are not fully in the moment of the present.

Today’s draw is the fourteenth card of the Major Arcana, the Temperance card.  As with all the cards of the Major Arcana, this card deals with “the big picture” rather than any one aspect of life.

The Temperance card is about balance.  It is about being rooted and patient, at one with the ebb and flow of life.  It is about balance and moderation.

I’m still having a small bit of a problem getting my “creature comfort spending” under control, and the Temperance card has appeared to let me know that a part of finding that control in this area involves finding balance in all areas.

Stop fighting.  Stop struggling.  Stop reaching.  There is no pitting one side against the other, as when they are in true balance, they are equal.  The Temperance card says that I can have my cake and eat it to, but only if I do so in moderation.

The Harbinger of Change

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Today’s meditation was nineteen minutes and forty-three seconds, and was a four-stage yoga nidra by Sadhana over at Integrative Healing on Youtube.  The guide (Sadhana) walked the listener through a full body scan before reaching the awareness out to the surroundings, and then eventually back inward again. It was very relaxing.

Today’s draw is the thirteenth card in the Major Arcana, the Death card.

Death is the harbinger of change. Not the chaotic type of change that would be indicated by the Tower card, but more in the spirit natural progression wherein something comes to fruition and moves on.

Is there any chance that it could be the pain in my mouth and swelling in my jaw?? Just kidding. Although, that would be nice. The natural progression of that, though, probably won’t start making an appearance until tomorrow.

The presence of this card is a reminder that change is a natural part of life. Whether it’s small things, or large ones, everything changes over time. We get old. Seasons change. Life moves on. And that is what the Death card is all about.

I’ve been going through a wide righty of changes lately, from the return to my spiritual practices to even yesterday’s surgery. There’s a reassurance in knowing that sometimes changes happen just because it’s a natural progression of things, and not as some chaotic upset pouncing to throw everything out of whack.

The Death card’s appearance may also have to do with the fact that I am currently going through sugar withdrawal. I cut back sharply on my sugar intake two days ago, and with the surgery that I just had done I’m not allowed to eat anything solid for another 24 hours. This means that unless I want to binge on the Creamsicle ice cream in my freezer or apple juice in the fridge (which I don’t), I am SOL on resolving the withdrawal and will instead have to just ride it out.

This is actually a good change, I think, considering my recent cholesterol results. If I can get through the withdrawal before going back to solid foods, perhaps it’ll help me in staying away from things like packaged cookies and crackers and crap like that.

Reassuring Stability

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Today’s meditation was not guided or timed, and incorporated deep beating exercises with a mindful focus on the breath.

Today’s draw is the King of Pentacles, which represents a solid, fatherly energy, personality, or person in the area of money, resources, and the physical world.

Although the King of Pentacles is a strong alpha energy, it is the kind of energy that provides comfort and stability.

The King of Pentacles came to me this morning to reassure me. I go into surgery today, which is a bit stressful. His appearance is here today to tell me everything is going to be okay.

Don’t Get Sucked Into the Whirlpool

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and fourteen seconds, and focused on the environment, and how we can care for the environment by focusing on the now and what we do in the present in order to foster a better future.

Oh look! It’s me. It’s funny because the original Rider/Waite/Smith artwork for this card has a woman sitting up in bed with the nine swords stacked on the wall, but her face is resting in her hands. The depiction in the deck, on the other hand, is a woman holding her head in her hands like she has a headache. And, that is exactly how I woke up this morning.

The Nine of Swords Is a representation of fruition and consequences In the area of the thoughts, communication, instinct, and logic.

I believe this ties into The Moon card from yesterday, and this cards aspect of consequences, as the Nine of Swords often indicates that you are letting your worries and anxieties get the best of you and cloud your judgment.

Yesterday’s card (The Moon) warned about taking action without seeing the full picture. Here today we have the Nine of Swords indicating that I don’t have the full picture, as well as pointing out to me that I am stressing out and worrying… and that as a result, I am creating a sense within myself of being overwhelmed.

This card message is to remind me that I need to take a breath. I need to sit back and separate my worries from the facts, and move forward only once I have the correct research in place.

Never having had high cholesterol before, this is a dietary issue I’ve never had to deal with. This means that I have quite a bit of research to accomplish in order to get back on the right track. With my surgery coming up tomorrow and my orders due to go out on Friday, this doesn’t leave me a lot of room for other interests and distractions.

The Nine of Swords is telling me that instead of sitting in my mind and stewing about what’s going on with my health, I should just move forward with the best, most healthy decisions I know of at the moment, and then deal with the research once the next couple of stressful days have passed.