#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020

Balance and Moderation

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was non-existent.  That is because I decided to sleep in.  I’ve been feeling really drained lately, and the majority of my sleep last night was that deep kind of sleep that feels like it didn’t happen?   You know…  you put your head down on the pillow and sleep for 6 hours, but it feels like you only had your eyes closed for five minutes.  That kind of sleep.   So, since I didn’t have to be at the farm this morning, I rolled over and gave Miss Luna a few pets then burrowed in and went back to sleep.

I’ll meditate before bed tonight.

Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Child of Wands and the Explorer of Pentacles (that would traditionally be called the Page of Wands and the Knight of Pentacles).

The cards in today’s draw are an indication that there is a need for stability in my pursuits.  A need to take my time in exploring my direction, my interests, and my passions.   I need to take it slow, one step at a time, and just persevere the pace.

This was something we spoke on earlier briefly in our scab rending, yeah?  The need to stop trying to focus on “all that needs done” and instead work at it one small, simple step at a time.   I will be taking my ideas notebook with me when I go to mom’s next week and I’m going to be using the back of it to list off those small steps so that I can begin working through them once I return home.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What seeds have I already planted this year that will benefit me?

Cat's Eye Tarot

Reading Summary: The examination of my addictions (The Devil) and how they affect different aspects of my life (Six of Swords) in order to take better control of the situation (The Emperor).

Take Away:  I have an addictive personality, and just about anything I enjoy has the potential to become an addiction that can then spiral out of control.  I have to be very careful and watchful at all times of my actions to make sure that doesn’t happen.  Sometimes?  It happens anyway.  One of the things I have begun adjusting with the new year (and will be setting intentions on during Imbolc this year) is finding a better balance between a few of those addictions (deck spending, baked goods and candy, etc) and the realities of everyday life and my well-being.  It’s not that I’ve screwed myself over in any of these areas, but rather that I feel a little more control is necessary to keep it that way.

DECK USED:  CAT’S EYE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Ask the cards to tell you about something funny that will make you smile.

Vindur TarotReading Summary: My mother thinks everything is dandy (Ten of Cups) and she has all of her ducks in a row (Eight of Pentacles), but she’s about to discover shit’s about to hit the fan (The Tower) and she’s going to have to start over building up all that “social credit” that she’s been working at for so long (Page of Cups).

Take Away:  Okay so…. this does make me smile, but it also makes me sad.  The cards indicate that my mother is not going to heed my warnings about trying to set me up with one of her social club “eligibles”.  She is very much of the opinion if I date one of her friend’s sons, it will somehow boost her prestige in her social group.

I warned her that I’ve been in a relationship for nearly twelve years, and I’ve told her numerous times that she’s being disrespectful and to stop… and then the last time, warned her if she didn’t stop I would make sorry.   It looks like, from these cards, that is definitely going to end up happening.

This makes me mad because… it’s my mother and apparently the only time it’s okay that I’m not a testosterone driven straight man is when it can benefit her. It’s about respect, and the lack thereof.

It makes me sad because… it’s my mother, and if I am pushed to going through with my threat, it’s going to hurt her.  That said?  I’ve had enough, and if this is what it takes to make her stop, then that’s what’s going to happen.

It makes me smile because… It’s going to be fun.  Honestly.  I’ve wanted to snub my nose at all that prestige and country club snobbery for decades.  I can’t say that I’m not going to enjoy doing it if it comes down to that.

DECK USED:  VINDUR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I accept help from others?

Vintage Oracle Tarot

Reading Summary:  Let go of rigidity (The Fool) and allow myself to accept that sometimes I need help making difficult decisions (Two of Swords) and that seeking council from others isn’t a bad thing (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  This is pretty clear cut and has been a topic that has come up a lot lately, although I think the talk we had earlier today will help a bit in this specific reoccurring theme.   I’ve been avoiding reaching out and getting help with what’s been going on with me, and as you noticed earlier, it’s pretty much been eating me alive from the inside. 

Thank you for demanding I give you a chance to poke at the wounds and tear off the scars, and for helping me through the emotional outburst that was involved in doing that.  Now… I just need to remember to reach out again… and again… and again.

DECK USED:  VINTAGE ORACLE TAROT

The Good Stuff

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused on spending more time and attention on the people in your life and less time and attention on consumerism.

This is a good reminder.  I think we all get a little caught up now and then in that drive for “more” and “I want”.  Maybe it’s just a part of human nature.  Today’s meditation was a reminder that there is so much more to life than that, but it takes a choice to focus on those people that enrich our lives and truly appreciate their presence to find the true joy of their presence there.

Nine of Cups - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is a representation of satiation in the area of one’s emotions and relationships.

I think this card goes really well with the message that was presented in today’s guided meditation, to be honest.   It’s important to know when you have enough.  Being someone with an addictive personality, I can attest first hand that sometimes?  That line is a difficult one to identify, let alone toe.

To balance out those traits, it’s important to appreciate what you have before you already.   Family, friends, and loved ones are an important part of life, and shouldn’t be forgotten or swept under the rug.   I see each of the cups in the imagery of the Nine of Cups in today’s draw as a cup that is filled.  Filled because it represents a person that has enriched and enhanced the life of the person appreciating them.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I face that truth this year? (Build off yesterday’s read.)

Spirit of the Flowers Tarot

Reading Summary: Spend more time getting in touch with my needs and the needs of those around me (Empress) so that I have a better chance of having more “your cup is half full” experiences (Nine of Chalices).  If I don’t want to be held back by my own ignorance of the issues (Eight of Swords), I need to try approaching them from a more optimistic perspective (The Sun).

Take Away:  This is… not the answer I was expecting, to be honest.  But it’s right on the mark.  Part of the reason I set aside issues I don’t want to deal with is because I see them in a pessimistic light.  This causes a systemic lack of enthusiasm to deal with them as a whole.  The cards indicate if I approach from a place of nurturing optimism, I will have better success in the future at avoiding the problems that arise when I choose to ignore those issues instead of deal with them.

DECK USED:  SPIRIT OF THE FLOWERS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What luck is coming your way, and how can you foster it into fruition?

Tarot Cats

Reading Summary: Someone’s deception is going to play to my advantage (Seven of Swords). I just need to sit back and wait and stay detached (Four of Cups), and make good choices when some difficult options are eventually presented to me (Two of Swords).

Take Away:  This is interesting in having followed the Tarot for Growth reading above.  But, it deals with a specific situation that is coming, not an overall change (or lack of change, as the case may be in this instance) in how I do things.  I’ll need to remember this advice when the moment of betrayal comes so that I remember to sit back and wait rather than acting rashly in the moment.

DECK USED:  TAROT CATS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I find positive mentors?

Ethereal Visions Tarot

Reading Summary: Over the next year (Wheel of Fortune), if I want to seek out a positive mentor I will need to listen closely to my intuition (High Priestess) and keep myself open to the possibility of new emotional bonds (Page of Cups) and new ways of doing things (Page of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The cards just called me out on being a stick in the mud. Laughing. I am often very rigid in how much I am willing to put myself out there, and although I’m often open to learning new things, my guardedness can be a hindrance to that. If I decide over the next year that I want a mentor, I will need to ease up on that guarded restraint and let people in.

DECK USED:  ETHEREAL VISIONS TAROT

Perspective During Struggle

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused upon mindfulness in everyday behavior.   That is to say… paying attention to your impulse reactions and considering whether they are serving you and your goals or not.

We all do it, yeah?  Jump to a response without considering what we’re saying or where it comes from.  Some are simply aware that we’re doing it (or have done it) than others.  Part of meditation and mindfulness is becoming more cognizant of this behavior and learning from it so that you can become a better person through self-examination and self-actualization.

Eight of Swords - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Swords, which is traditionally an indication of both the positive and negative aspects of self-restraint.

What I really see in this card today, though, is more of a Hanged Man perspective.   it has to do with the lone sword off to the side as the others are bound and restrained.

The message in today’s card is that sometimes when you are feeling all tied up in your own thoughts and struggles, it’s a good idea to take a breath and a step back, and try to see the situation from a different perspective.    By doing this, you can often find a different way to look at the situation and resolve any problems in your path.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What hard truth did I ignore last year?

Hydra-Nix Tarot

Reading Summary:  That sometimes you have push for the hard choices (Two of Swords) even when you’d rather sit back  and relax (Four of Swords) and stay out of it (The Hermit).

Take Away:  Okay so… sometimes when something is bothering me, instead of trying to deal with it, I will sort of just set it aside and pretend that it doesn’t exist.   A lot of times?  This works.  The problem resolves itself and I didn’t have to freak out about it after all.   The hard truth is, though… that sometimes?  It doesn’t work.  And in those times, having ignored the issue gives it time to grow and/or fester into something ugly and monstrous.

DECK USED:  HYDRA-NIX TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care during this new moon?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards and Faeries' Oracle by Brian Froud

Reading Summary: Too much spark and not enough grounding energy.

Take Away:  From moving out of the gray and into the warmth, to the erratic energy of the Sylph.  Progression along that path will lead to disorganization and confusion.

In other words?  I need to stop allow my attention to flit about. Some of the tasks I need to get done are unpalatable, and some are just downright boring.  But that’s okay.  I’ll feel better for having stayed on task and gotten them done.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS and FAERIES’ ORACLE BY BRIAN FROUD

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I overcome setbacks?

Lo Scarabeo Tarot

Reading Summary:  Count your blessings (Ten of Cups), work with others (Two of Cups), and allow for there to be a balance of give and take (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is the exact same message I got the other day from one of these challenges that asked what was, essentially, the exact same question.   Same cards and everything, if I’m not mistaken.   And honestly?  This really does pick up on one of those things that I have a really hard time with.  That is, allowing others to help.  Not just allowing, to be honest… but even asking for help is often a huge struggle.  And that’s after I’m able to acknowledge I even need it in the first place.

DECK USED:  LO SCARABEO TAROT

 

Double, Double Toil and Trouble

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation that focused on how it’s okay to be kind to yourself about missing meditation practice now and then… and how it is important to not look at your meditation practice as some kind of chore or task.

When it is looked at as a chore or task, then it becomes something you “have” to do, and something you can then more easily resent or get burned out on.  If we instead seek to see meditation as a moment of kindness to ourselves and a “break” from the world at large, then meditation becomes a reprieve and a retreat… something that we feel eager to experience each day.

I needed this advice, and I like the idea of looking at my meditation practice as a retreat and a reprieve from the everyday.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards jumped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Nine of Swords and the Three of Swords.   Both of these cards themes deal with agonizing over different aspects, and it is that theme that I feel is the message in today’s draw.

The appearance of these cards in today’s draw is a message about being too much in my head and allowing that to take over.  The whole water issue in my building has really got me stressed out and I’m trying to stay calm about it, but especially after the collapse yesterday and the kid getting caught under the debris…. I’m just not dealing well.

Hell, I dreamed about her dying last night and me pulling her dead body out of the debris instead of a live and bawling little girl, traumatized and with broken arm, but otherwise okay.

I’m so lucky that the water didn’t really spread that far into my unit, just a bit in the kitchen, but it seems that the worry over what’s going on next door is really getting to me and I need to relax and let it go.  Everyone is okay… and it’s going to be okay.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I manage or release those expectations and leave room for growth?

Fey TarotReading Summary:  Connect with and rely on others (Two of Cups) rather than trying to “fight this battle alone” (Seven of Wands).

Take Away:  The expectation from yesterday is that working with that new depth of emotion discovered last fall should be easy for me.  It’s not an expectation of the work, but rather an expectation of myself that I should be capable enough to deal with it without issue or problem.   It’s unrealistic, and I know that.

The cards in this read indicate that in order to release those expectations and leave room for growth, I need to accept it is not something I’m going to be able to do on my own, and I need not just be willing to ask for help… but actually do the asking instead of pushing myself to say “I’ve got this” and trying to struggle through it alone.

DECK USED:  FEY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #4

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary:  OOPS CRAP… I did Spread #5  So I will interpret this one for today, and then do Spread #4 next week in place of the one I’m doing today.

Card 1 – Too much focus on my business and the focus upon my goals concerning stability and financial independence.

Card 2 – I need to take more time in meditation and personal reflection, so that I can connect deeper and move beyond surface and/or superficial focal points. The tarot has more to offer me than it can provide when limited to those topics.

Card 3 – I try to hard to empower my client during their reading, and that can sometimes cause the message to become diluted and thus do the opposite of what was intended.

Take Away:   When reading for myself… look deeper. Use my meditation as a tool to find those deeper threads and follow them into deeper waters of my life and psyche.  The cards are essentially saying that I’ve fallen into a bit of a rut.

When reading for others, remember that sometimes the message being conveyed needs to be blunt and/or sharp in order to really drill down into the mind of the client.  Sometimes providing explanation does not assist in empowerment, but is a detriment to it.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN ART NOUVEAU TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need for a successful year?

Lighteater's Tarot

Reading Summary: Impassioned focus upon my goals (Princess of Staves) will overcome adversity (Five of Swords) and allow me to find a more stable center for pursuit of my ambitions (King of Staves), even in times of struggle (Five of Coins).

Take Away:  The things that I want to accomplish this year are going to require going through a good deal of strife and struggle along the way.  In order to succeed and move through these issues, I need to hold tight to my exploratory spark in relation to my passions and work at keeping that spark not just lit and alive, but also stable and controlled.

DECK USED:  LIGHTEATER’S TAROT

Snowflakes and Drummers

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and, as with yesterday, I again incorporated it into my yoga/physiotherapy.

I’m sort of wondering if the reason I don’t get as much out of the meditation practice done during my physio is because I am focused upon my body instead of upon a positive message.   The guided meditations, on the other hand, provide a focus for the meditation that is always positive in some way.

Seven of Swords - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Swords, although what I see in this card today is not the traditional meaning, but rather speaks of individuality.

Conformity is not really my thing. In this card, there is a clear message of conformity on the right, and a clear indication of non-conformity on the left.   What I see here in this depiction is that non-conformity “breaks the mold”.

I don’t think that’s a bad thing, though.  Yes, it shakes things up and can cause a few “Tower Moments” along the way, but in the end, it’s the non-conformists in the world that create diversity and add flavor to life. It’s okay to be different.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What expectations about 2020 am I clinging to?

The Lost Forest Tarot

Reading Summary:  That I’m going to go after this new depths of emotions (Knight of Oceans) and find a clear path forward (Three of Fire) that will allow for growth and integration (Two of Skies).

Take Away:  That new depth of emotion from the fall is very intimidating to me, and I’ve had a hard time getting over my fear to make it through to exploring and working with them since the new year.  I’ve been stewing in that worry and the expectation that it should be easy for me.  It’s not a rational expectation, but there you have it.

DECK USED:  THE LOST FOREST TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can you bring more of what you want into your world?

Maregician Tarot

Reading Summary:  Rest and recuperation (Four of Spades), balance (Justice) in my judgements on myself and my values and performance (Judgement).  Without it three are consequences (Three of Spades).

Take Away:  I need to remember to take care of myself and not judge myself so harshly.  Balance is an important factor in self care, and in life as a whole.  In order to manifest more good things, though, self care is just as important as hard work and productivity.   Without that balance, shit starts to fall apart.

DECK USED:  MAREGICIAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need in order to make my week successful?

Wheel of Fortune Tarot by Ivy Feng

Reading Summary: Uncertainty (The Moon) comes with being distracted in the past (Six of Cups).  Better to focus on what lies ahead (Wheel of Fortune) and spend time creating balance between myself and others (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away: I’ve been having a lot of dreams of the past lately.  Specifically concerning the incidents that happened on both my bathroom, then later my kitchen floors. Those memories bring with them a lot of vulnerability, and that vulnerability can breed a degree of uncertainty.   The cards are indicating if I want to have a more successful week, be sure to set those dreams and memories aside as best that I can, and focus instead on the present and future, and on connecting with others in my life so that we can lean on each other and support each other along the way.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF FORTUNE TAROT BY IVY FENG

 

Steady As You Go

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and again was incorporated into my yoga practice.  I know that I don’t get as much out of it when I do it this way, but sometimes it’s just easier, and better than not doing it at all. It’s a good compromise for those days when I probably would have otherwise skipped the meditation practice all together, or tried to put it in at the end of the day, where I get far less from it than doing it with my yoga.

King of Swords - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which is a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality or person in the area of thoughts, logic, intellect, and communication.  This often presents itself as dominance and authority with a side of mental clarity and strong intellectual power.

The King of Swords appearance in today’s draw is a reminder that even with the sense of chaos that new emotions and a new depth of emotions brings with it, I am still capable of being level and grounded in my thinking.  It is a reminder to not allow the emotions to run away with my brain, because I need a balanced center to help me work with and learn from those emotions rather than just experience them without benefit and growth.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How should I approach failures and roadblocks in pursuit of my goals?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  These cards are about security (First Card) and comfort (Second card), and remembering to keep an undercurrent of warmth (Fourth Card) in the face of jagged cold (Third Card).

Take Away:  Road blocks and failures always feel cold to me.  The cards here are a reminder that when you come up against these obstacles in pursuit of my goals, I need to remember to stay grounded, and take comfort in the familiar.   Don’t allow myself to fall into a mindset of degradation against myself, as is so often my first response when things feel like they are falling apart.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a negative thing in your life that you don’t need to stress over?

Vindur Tarot

Reading Summary:  I worry about delving headlong (Knight of Wands) into the new emotions and depths of them I’ve been discovering since last august (The Fool atop the Six of Cups) and how this may change my values in the long run (Ten of Swords atop Judgement).

Take Away:  To be fair, this is more of an intuitive hit off the cards than at all associated with traditional meaning.  It has to do with that depth of emotions that I discovered in the fall, and a worry that in exploring them it might change my values into something more difficult to discern or follow.   Emotions are tricky and unstable things and I don’t particularly want them to have an influence on my moral compass and values.  Considering the question for this reading, the cards are saying that that isn’t something I need to worry about.

DECK USED:  VINDUR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to know to make a change for the better today?

Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: I am stronger than I think (Strength).  I just need to remember to stay grounded within my pursuits (Knight of Pentacles) and “count my blessings” (Ten of Cups).

Take Away: Even as I push myself to always do better and better, I underestimate myself all the time.  It’s a contradiction instilled within me by my parents.  Perfection is not good enough… you have to do even better.  This read is a reminder that perfection lives within imperfection, not despite of it.  I am strong and capable, I just need to remember not to let things get out of hand when I’m pursuing my goals and to practice gratitude and appreciation for all that I currently have.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT