Delos Tarot

Taking A Pause

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Today’s meditation was another of the musical immersion efforts involving my synesthesia, and I just don’t think it’s going to work out.  For the second time I ended up dozing off during the process, and I have a feeling that if I am using music that creates pleasurable responses, that will continue to be the case.  I’ll have to switch back to another method tomorrow.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The LoversToday’s draw is the Lovers card, which is traditionally a representation of not just love, romance, and marriage as it is often interpreted by many, but also about choices and making positive choices that are good for you. This choices interpretation leans into the Marseilles tarot meanings, but I find it applies far more often to the Lovers card when the card pops up for me in readings than the love and relationship aspect.

What stands out to me the strongest in this photo is not one specific element so much as the overall atmosphere of the image. I see gentle warmth and tenderness that speaks of a heart connection, and a hint of wistfulness that speaks to me of nostalgia and daydreams.

The message here in today’s card is that sometimes it’s okay to pause and take a moment, to give yourself a moment to “smell the roses” and allow yourself to consider what influences your decisions and the way forward from this moment rather than leaping ahead recklessly or thoughtlessly.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Jupiter Question: How can I {further} focus on the good that surrounds me, or the good that is within?

Elemental Tarot

How can I further my focus on the good that surrounds me?
Seven of Swords atop Eight of Swords, Queen of Pentacles

Don’t allow the ass hats and betrayals of the world to close your eyes to the generosity and positivity that is out there.   Sometimes, especially when wounds are fresh, it can be hard to not turn away from people and tempting to turn into yourself in order to protect yourself from further pain.  By closing your eyes to the warmth and care others can provide, though, you do yourself more harm than good.

How can I further my focus on the good that is within me?
Nine of Pentacles, Four of Chalices atop Eight of Pentacles Rx

Practice gratitude for what you have, and don’t work yourself so hard that you forget to rest and meditate.  Without rest and restoration, you can’t focus on anything, let alone delve into appreciation for what’s good within yourself.   In order to find this focus you need rest, and you need to appreciate your accomplishments and what you’ve done well.  These practices allow you to feel a sense of pride and foster a bit more kindness for yourself.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Greatest Strength / Greatest Weakness / Finding Balance

Antique Anatomy Tarot Mass Market VersionGreatest Strength – Four of Pentacles atop Wheel of Fortune – Finding stability in the chaos is one of your greatest strengths. This isn’t to say that the chaos does not affect you, but rather that you are able to ground your feet and stay centered far better than most would expect.

Greatest Weakness – King of Rods – Your excessive amount of creative spark and drive can cause a bit of a problem.  You repeatedly fool yourself into believing you have more “shoulder space” for responsibility than you actually do, and thus as that sense of creative spark and drive push you forward, you repeatedly overburden yourself trying to take on too much.

Finding Balance – Knight of Elixirs – Pick and choose the projects and responsibilities that truly speak to your heart, instead of just triggering the inspirational spark within you.  Inspiration is all well and good, but you need to involve more than that in your decision making in order to cut down on the things that you take on.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT – MASS MARKET VERSION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the best piece of advice I have ever received?

Delos Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes you have to look after yourself before others (Six of Pentacles) in order to build a secure (Four of Pentacles) and stable (Two of Pentacles) future.

Take Away:  Not the advice that I personally would’ve chosen as the best piece of advice I’ve ever received… and yet it is a really good one. When I was young I wanted to save the world from unfairness. If I had not been given the advice to take care of myself first prior to helping others and taken that advice to heart, I’d still be living in the backseat of an old Buick with no tires in a dark Seattle alleyway. Okay… so probably not the Buick specifically, but close enough.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

Modulating Enthusiasm

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I’ve managed to fall behind yet again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 11th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of exuberance and a intensity directed towards one’s focus through passion and drive.  This card is about inspired action and the embodiment of the phrase “Go get’em cowboy.”

What I see in the imagery of this card today is overkill.  That, too, is a part of the meaning behind the Knight of Wands.  Impulsive action and overkill often go hand in hand with feelings of enthusiasm and drive.

The message here is about moderation.  It’s great to be motivated, and spectacular to feel a sense of enthusiasm for a purpose or project.  But the thing is?  When you get too carried away in those feelings of motivation and enthusiasm, it’s very easy to become destructive to yourself, to those around you, and to the project at large.

It’s important to remember not to let those feelings of motivation and enthusiasm carry you away to the point that you become a destructive force instead of a productive one.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Mars Question: An obstacle, or blockade, I am asked to deal with.

Antique Anatomy Tarot Mass Market Edition

Reading Summary: There’s a big difference between avoidance (Four of Elixirs), and moderation (Temperance). Avoidance (Eight of Blades) leads to overburdening and overwhelm (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  I need to work on learning the difference because I excel far to well at avoidance… and not well enough at moderation.  The cards here indicate that my tendency toward avoidance is a part of the problem that causes me to hit overwhelm and burnout.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT MASS MARKET EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What harsh truths do you prefer to ignore?

Delos TarotReading Summary:  That I can’t last forever with fresh as a daisy enthusiasm (Ace of Wands) without getting some rest and recovery along the way (Four of Swords). Gideon can help you find balance (King of Cups) but you have to reach out to him for that help (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  I hate that I need to rest.  I really do.  I hate that I can’t go the way I could have ten years ago, non stop and moving fast.  It just doesn’t feel right to me to need the amount of rest that I do, regardless of the fact that I know I get less rest than the average person.   Rest feels like an inconvenience more than a necessity and it drives me nuts that I have to take time for it. Time I could be putting forward into things that I need to get done.

I’m aware this is an issue that’s rooted in my upbringing and in my determination to be independent from a young age.   My need for stability requiring money that you have to work for, etc.  And I know that Gideon can help calm that desperation.  Sometimes, I fear, though, that in calming that inner desperation, I will lose my independence and the stability that has been so hard won so far.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I heal myself?

Lunatic Tarot

Reading Summary: Pay more attention to where you wanna go (Ten of Pentacles), and less attention to your feelings of scarcity (Five of Pentacles). You need to be able to rest and recover (Four of Swords)… and focusing on your feelings of scarcity is just not going to get you there.

Take Away:  Rest and recovery.  Recuperation and rest are the path to healing myself.  Feelings of scarcity rooted in my past (figure looking to the left in the center card) drive me to treating myself badly and making unhealthy choices.

I need to remember that I won’t be able to enjoy the stability I’ve accomplished, or further stability I might gain, if I’ve worked myself to death in trying to fill that never ending hole of emptiness that those feelings of scarcity create.

DECK USED:  LUNATIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What part of my life would I like to improve over the next year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: A better work / life balance (Two of Coins). The ability to enjoy my time with my loved ones freely (Three of Cups). Reclaiming my ambition while finding a better way (Knave of Swords).

Take Away:  These three cards tie in together, in that it is through finding that better balance between work and life that I can find time to spend with loved ones free of guilt or negative inner dialogue.  The cards also indicate that on the work side of things, the lagging of my ambition over the past handful of months is a reflection of the efforts to settle into the new work / life balance I’ve been trying to foster.  As I learn to adjust to this new balance and find it more comfortable, the card indicates that my ambition will then rekindle.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT

New Can Be Scary… That’s Okay

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IMG_7581Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of the guided portion of the meditation was about holding space for others and listening with more than our ears but our mind and our heart as well.

Often, when we are talking with others, we don’t spend enough of our energy on listening to what the other person has to say.  Instead, we’re in our own heads formulating what we’re going to say next, or musing over our opinions of something that was said, or planning what we need to do later on in the day, etc.

The encouragement in the guided meditation is to use the mindfulness that we use in meditation, and carry it forward into the world in how we listen to and communicate with others.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in relation to one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity. This often translates into themes that have to do with new relationships, new creative ideas, or new emotional growth.

What really stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the small pink lotus flower on the right near the woman’s arm, and on the opposite side, the gray swirl of what I think is supposed to be her hair… but looks a lot like a shark to me at first glance.

The message here is that there is always a bit of risk in new things.  Things can go well and go smoothly, or they could turn around and bite you in the ass when you’re not looking.  The key is in her lifted arms… which speak of moving forward into new experiences regardless of the risk.  Sometimes you just have to step up and see what’s waiting for you.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Sun Question: What am I asked to create for myself, or work on, throughout the month of November?

Delos Tarot - The Magician, DeathWhat am I asked to create for myself throughout the month of November?

The Magician – Confidence. I’ve felt a lot of uncertainty and insecurity lately when it comes to my ability to juggle my emotions and the holiday rush.  It’s been sort of wittling away at the edges of my confidence in other areas pertaining to my business.  The Magician is a reminder that I’m capable and that through the next few weeks I need to prove this to myself and create for myself  the confidence that I’ve felt wavering a bit lately.

What am I asked to work on throughout the month of November?

Patience through slow change. Patience is not my strong suit when it comes to my expectations of myself and my personal progress.  I need to keep in mind that most of the changes I’m working for this year are slow growth changes, and not sudden transformative moments.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my personal happiness.

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary:  Alone time is needed (The Hermit) so move your ass (Eight of Wands) and take the reigns and make it happen (The Chariot).

Take Away: Get your ass out into the woods. Stop procrastinating.
Wednesday.  I’m going on Wednesday after my dentist appointment. I plan on running a few errands in the morning after the dentist, and then heading out into the forest by late morning or early afternoon at the latest.

I’ve been feeling the need to get out into the forests for a bit now, but things have just felt so clusterfucked that I haven’t really managed to do it.  But I’ve set aside time for it on Wednesday and have every intention of spending a handful of hours out there.  It’s not as good as a day hike, but it’ll be a good long visit all the same. More than enough time to untie some internal knots and enjoy some alone time with the trees.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What previously unknown shadow aspect has presented itself this year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: My issues with slowing down (The Chariot Rx) and taking things at a slower pace (Knight of Pentacles). These issues are rooted in my childhood (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Ugh.  So much shadow work has been peeking out at me and trying to make itself known recently.  I can’t do shadow work in the fall and winter, and yet it always seems ready to make itself known around this time of year each year.  This shadow, like so many that try to get my attention in the fall, is rooted in my childhood.  Speed and efficiency are highly prized in my family, especially by my father, and I’ve spent a huge part of my life developing my speed and efficiency in all aspects of my life, work, and business. 

Over this year, I’ve been trying to spend more time slowing down instead, which has brought this specific shadow aspect I wasn’t really all that aware of as a shadow aspect rising up to the surface again and again.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT

Gratitude, Not Attitude

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Today’s meditation was twelve minutes long and took place in the bath tub, submerged to just my nose and mouth (well, and knees).  It was not a guided meditation, but rather a time spent in that suspension state that I can often find when in water.  It was very refreshing, but left me feeling a bit sleepy by the end.

Three of Cups - Tarot of the Unknown Today’s draw is the Three of Cups, which is a representation of collaboration, small gains, and even smaller groups in the area of one’s emotions, intuition, relationships, and creativity.

The appearance of the Three of Cups today is a reminder to put a check on my resentment concerning having my helper in my space.  I don’t know why I can’t seem to get completely comfortable with her being here in my home when she comes to do her job, but it’s always an irritant that she’s here.   Always.

That said… I need the assistance with my business that she provides, especially at this time of year.   Today’s card is a reminder to look on the bright side of the relationship and collaboration that I have with her, rather than doing the internal “fuss and grump” that her presence seems to always inspire.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What can I do to quiet my inner critic?

Delos TarotReading Summary: Keep in mind how far I have come and all that I have (Ten of Pentacles), while emotionally focusing less on how much further I could have gone.  Instead, find that inner quiet needed to assure myself I am making the best decisions possible in the moment.

Take Away: My inner critic is something that I struggle with quite a lot.  It always has something to say, and what it has to say is usually not all that useful other than to push me harder (which, honestly, is something I do in spades already).  The cards indicate that to silence my inner critic, I need to focus more on gratitude for the now rather than focusing so intently on where I’m going and what I could do better. And that I need to remember that hindsight is 20/20, but that decisions I have made were the absolute best decisions accessible to me in the moment.

Deck Used:  Delos Tarot 2nd Edition

Casanova… or “What the Heart Wants”?

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and the second installment of the “how to meditate” series that I’m currently listening to.   The topic of today’s guided meditation had to do with finding your focus.   As in, the thing that you bring your straying mind back to again and again when it starts to wander.

This, for me, is often the breath.  Although I have found more recently that I get even better results if I focus, instead, on the solar plexus and that sensation of “soul” that resides within there.

Knight of Cups - Slow TarotToday’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which feels like I seem to be seeing a lot of lately. Maybe it is because I don’t have the highest opinion of the Knight of Cups, and he’s trying to change my mind.

As I’ve mentioned before, when I see the Knight of Cups, I often see a manipulator.  Not in a bad way necessarily, but one of those guys that tells you what you want to hear because it makes you feel good and, in turn, that makes him feel good.   It’s all in the motivation behind the act, and this motivation isn’t really about you at all.  It’s about them.   I am aware that this is not a traditional read on this card, but that is what this card so often speaks to me.

What the Knight of Cups can also represent is a person, personality, or energy with a go-get’em attitude about romance and relationships. There is romance, creativity, and charm.  That active beta energy of the knights means that they’re going after what tugs at their heartstrings rather than standing back to let it come to them or walk away.

Everyone needs a bit of that energy sometimes, and maybe that’s the positive for today.  Get in touch with what makes your heart sing and be proactive about fostering the presence in your life of those things and people.

Deck Used: Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading

I’ve decided that for the time being I’m going to continue with the Tarot for Growth prompts, so with the new month comes a new list of prompts for what is now #TarotForGrowthNovember.

Question: How can I increase my mental clarity?

Delos TarotReading Summary:  A lack of connection (Six of Swords) between my deep seated ambitions (King of Wands) and my emotional well being (King of Cups). For clarity focus on others instead of myself (Six of Pentacles) and foster what is important to me in that area (Queen of Pentacles).

Take Away: I’m being reminded again that there are good and bad that come with the marriage of one’s passions with one’s emotions. Creatively speaking, this is great, but it can also mean that it might be hard to get inspired if I’m too connected to my emotions.   A better path for clarity is to focus my energy outward toward others and on nurturing my day-to-day rather than digging into the murkiness that emotions, and especially emotional upheaval, can bring.

In other words?  Stop being so self centered.  It’s time to pull myself out of the self-reflective inner-focused mire that the new depth of emotions I’ve been experiencing lately swamped me with, and if I want to do that I need turn my focus to those around me rather than upon myself.

Deck Used: Delos Tarot 2nd Ed