daily tarot

It’s Okay To Have Limits

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IMG_6366Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The topic of today’s meditation was based on allowing ourselves to see the world with a sense of wonder.  This goes beyond the “pause and smell the roses” mentality and is about creating a fascination with our experiences, seeing them as a chance to explore our curiosities.

Mindfulness is believed to connect us to the world with a “beginner’s mind” and find a childlike sense of wonder that we otherwise do not allow ourselves to experience.

Botan Tarot - King of WandsToday’s draw is the King of Wands, which is traditionally interpreted as a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s drive and ambitions, goals and passionate interests, as well as determination and willpower.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the king’s features as well as the wolf that curls upon his shoulders.  It reminds me of my inner critic and how the dialog it whispers in my ear is always pushing me to do more, be better, work harder.

The problem?  I’m already doing a hell of a lot. I’m already doing my best.  I’m already working hard.  So this inner critic’s voice?  Is pushing me to go beyond my limits, and beyond what’s healthy, just as I see the wolf whispering in the king’s ear doing the same thing in this card.

The message in this card is to make sure you do not allow that whisper to get a foothold in your head and turn you into its slave.   Take care to make sure I’m not pushing myself too hard.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my solar plexus?

Joe Sparrow Tarot

Reading Summary: Give yourself more credit (Queen of Cups atop Six of Pentacles) for how much you’ve done and how far you’ve come along along (Page of Pentacles) concerning the balance between your responsibilities and self care (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It takes a lot of hard work and determination (solar plexus centered work) to make these kind of changes in your life. Don’t sell yourself (or your efforts and progress) short.  There still may be a long way to go… but you’ve come a long way and you’ve done a really good job so far.

DECK USED:  JOE SPARROW TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: You / Your Annoyance / What To Do About It

Tyldwick TarotMe – Queen of Coins – I’m both a provider and a nurturer in my relationships with others, especially concerning my relationship with those I’m living with.  Z and my sister depend on me, and for once this isn’t something that freaks me out.  I actually feel quite comfortable in this role for the most part.

My Annoyance – Ace of Swords – Okay, so yes.  I’m comfortable with being a provider. I’m comfortable with being a nurturer.  But jesus f’ing christ they fucking talk ALL the time.  All day every day from the time they get up to the time they go to sleep.  Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk.  How the hell do two people find so much to talk about that they can feel days upon days, months on months with talking?  I have no idea but it drives me nuts.

What To Do About It – Seven of Staves – Note that these are toy soldiers and there is no actual conflict in this card.  This is about perseverance.   It’s about standing strong and accepting that when you’re living with two women, this sort of thing is going to be a part of that.  I love them both, and all the chattering doesn’t change that… nor should it.

DECK USED:  TYLDWICK TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How can I best approach my creative space and endeavors to make the most out of my creativity?

The Painted Tarot

Reading Summary: Take control (King of Wands), pick a direction (Two of Wands), and approach with a sense of wonder and curiosity (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  This actually echoes back to my guided meditation from this morning. To make the most out of my creativity, I need both direction and focus… but I also need to blend in a sense of wonderment and fun.  This curiosity and exploration curiosity is what makes the creative process so very interesting.  It’s just as important as the other two qualities… perhaps even more so.

DECK USED:  THE PAINTED TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I build the courage to say no when I’m uncomfortable doing so?

Samiramay Tarot

Reading Summary:  Don’t let being kind (Three of Swords Rx) become a crutch or a handicap (The Devil). Saying no can sometimes create new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) for others to master skills they might have otherwise ignored (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  You know, I hadn’t really thought of this perspective before.  But, the thing is?  When I am told “no” to something? My brain immediately moves to how I can either get my way or circumvent the “no” and turn it around into my advantage in some way.  I’m not sure why I hadn’t realized this may be the same for others.  Not everyone, I’m sure.  But sometimes?  Saying no really does open new doors of opportunity, so I shouldn’t allow my temptation to sometimes abstain or say yes get in the way of that.

DECK USED:  SAMIRAMAY TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – WTF

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“I found this on Pinterest this week, and loved it, therefore this is your prompt for this week!! Pick a topic, and apply this spread!”

WTF Tarot Spread - Corvid Romantic Playing Cards

Chosen Topic:  My unfounded feelings of trepidation concerning the upcoming holiday rush.

The Face of My Challenge
Six of Feathers

Change.  The face of my challenge is change and the shift of things from one situation to another.  I’m feeling a good deal of discomfort and a need to fall back on old habits.  These old habits are unhealthy and do not serve me at all, but are simply what is familiar.  Instead, I need to make sure I continue to move forward instead of backsliding.

The Crux of What Hounds Me
Ace of Roses

Concern over undoing all the new progress I’ve made this year.  I’ve grown so much over the year, and I am aware that that new emotional growth I’ve been fostering for the past few months is still tenuous and new. I worry that the new beginnings I’ve been fostering are still too delicate to withstand the savage storm of the holiday rush.

What is real about this?
Three of Crystals

I have people to help me and collaborate with me when I need them.  I am not in this alone.  I have the support I need and I need to include them in the process from the beginning, not pull them in later when things are chaotic and a mess.  Allow these people in my life to help so that everything doesn’t rest solely on my shoulders.

What is wrong about this?
Two of Roses

My discomfort and struggle with leaning into those that love me and want to support me.  As mentioned above.  They want to support me.  They want to help.  This discomfort and guilt is useless and is completely unfounded. I understand that this is one of my shadows, and one I will have to deal with over time, but for now I need to keep in mind that these feelings come from within and are not reality.

Where do I need more info?
Six of Crystals

It would be a good idea to delve into in what ways others are willing to help me and be proactive about getting that help… Rather than waiting until I need it and sticking them with tasks that they would prefer not to deal with.  This is about even distribution of the work load so that the help that they are offering is used to its best advantage, and it is a suggestion that has recently come up in a previous reading as well.

What can I do?
Ace of Crystals

Focus on the task at hand, and accept that it’s going to be different this year… and that’s OK. It can lead to better things.

DECK USED:  CORVID ROMANTIC PLAYING CARDS

Honor Over Impulse

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IMG_6356Today’s meditation was eleven minutes long and was another guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching. The topic of today’s guided meditation was dealing with feelings of overwhelm.

Specifically, the meditation spoke on how when we become overwhelmed, it is often because we are trying to take on too much at once.  In truth though, a project or any topic of overwhelm is so overwhelming because it is so big.  To solve this problem, we need to remember to break these huge projects and responsibilities down into bite sized pieces.

Like when you clean a house… you look at the house as a whole and it looks overwhelming and like so much work.  Too much work.  Instead, we need to look at the cleaning of a house as a bunch of little tasks.  Dust one piece of furniture.  Wipe down one counter.  

In breaking down these big projects, we then can see them as small things we can manage to do.  And if we focus on one small thing at a time, pretty soon that huge pile of crap to get done is  whittled down to nothing.

Hush Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is the Five of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s thoughts, logic, intellect, and communication. This type of conflict often comes across as disagreements and competition, but what I find this card often indicates that is not so common of an interpretation is the “winning at all costs” attitude that this card can often convey, as well as being a reflection of “the spoils of war”.

Probably not surprisingly, what stood out to me in the imagery of this card is the plants. The flower in the background looks a lot like a clover bud, and yet the greenery beneath looks like dandelion leaves.

One of the lesser known representations of the white clover is revenge.  This combined with the dandelion, which commonly represents standing strong and overcoming hardships, gives me the impression that in this case the battle has already been fought, and what we are witnessing in the card’s imagery is the aftermath.

The card here today is a reminder that the honor of standing tall is more important than the temporary satisfaction of retaliation.  Sometimes (and I admit that this very well could be due to my Scorpio moon) I have this overwhelming urge to lash back at those that piss me off or irritate me.  The card here today is an encouragement to rise above these urges.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I grow from my mistakes?

Tarot of Reincarnation

Reading Summary: Open your eyes and pay attention (Eight of Spades) so that you can see your mistakes (Ace of Diamonds Rx) as opportunities to grow (Jack of Diamonds).

Take Away:  This is about carrying forward the knowledge gained during my mistakes so that I don’t repeat them and can course-correct before mistakes become catastrophic. By learning to identifying mistakes early or by taking the lessons that come from them when you can’t course correct in time, I am then able to turn those mistakes into something of value instead of just another fuckup.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF REINCARNATION

Where You’re Coming From

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IMG_6344Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was self discipline, which is something that I’m both extremely good at… and crap-ass bad at, depending on what it’s about.   In this case, the topic was about self discipline involved in making sure that you stick with your self care, and that you do not tear yourself to shreds with guilt or consternation when you miss a day now and then.

I am very guilty of this.  Not the guilt so much, but definitely the consternation and self flagellation that comes with me missing a day (or a few days) of my self care routine.  As if I don’t pay for it already with the physical pain aspect of skipping out on those necessary stretches, right?

Botan Tarot - JusticeToday’s draw is is the Justice card, which is traditionally a representation of checks and balances, cause and effect, as well as concepts such as justice, truth, fairness, and the law.

Interestingly, I do not see “justice” in the imagery for this card today.  Rather, I see honor and the pursuit of justice. The pose of this woman knight is one of a tracker in pursuit.  She peers to the left, which for me is a nod to the past and what has come to pass, yet her left foot faces forward in the present.  She is grounded and sure of herself, and looks determined to mete out the justice that needs to be dealt.

The message in today’s card is that it is that in examining where you come from, you can find a clearer view of where you are and where you are going. Everything we do has a consequence or a reaction of some kind.  This is how the world works.  When you push upon a pendulum to make it swing, sooner or later the pendulum has to swing back the other way.  It can be a good idea to take a moment now and then to take a look at the pendulums you’ve put in motion… and make sure when they swing back at you they don’t hit you in the head.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: How to improve my relationships with others?

Tarot by Alexander Daniloff 2012

Reading Summary:  Work on my communication skills (Page of Swords) and lean into an empathetic approach (Queen of Cups). It’s not a hopeless cause, so don’t give up (The Star).

Take Away:  It’s really easy for me to get frustrated with my communication skills, as I feel like I do a lot of fumbling in that area and hurting people’s feelings (or otherwise fucking things up) as a result.  The cards here indicate that to resolve this problem, I need to not give up hope, but instead continue to work on my intercommunication skills and… while doing so, lean into a more empathetic side of communicating with others.

DECK USED:  TAROT BY ALEXANDER DANILOFF 2012

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Stop / Start / Continue

Brady TarotStop – Two of Roots – How many rabbits can a fox hold at once?  One.  That’s how many.  And like the fox?  I have my limitations as well, and I need to make sure I’m honoring them.  Stop trying to find wiggle room in my new balance to shove in more responsibilities.  We’re not doing that anymore, remember?

Start – Two of Arrows – The wolf and the cougar are bound together, blind and both of them injured.  Unable to see, does each one blame the other for their pain? It’s time to be honest with yourself.  Take the blindfold off and pay attention to the things that cause you pain and create struggle in your life.  You need to make peace with your inner slave driver.

Continue – Mother of Horns and King of Roots – The nurturing encouragement to connect with my emotions, allowing them to have a place at the table instead of being smothered beneath the lilypads has been combined with my natural grounding and stability that I am so very focused on all the time.  I’ve been spending the summer melding this new level of emotional awareness and growth with my strong need for a grounded life… and will continue to work on that.

DECK USED:  BRADY TAROT 2ND EDITION

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How can I best continue to build on the foundation, lessons, or teachings that make me who I am today?  And how can I act on this information?

WilderWoven Tarot

How to continue to build on my lessons learned?
Eight of Cups and Knight of Wands

The lesson learned here is when to “cut and run”, just as the octopus in the Eight of Cups dumps its ink and heads out for new and better waters. To continue building on this lesson, I need to focus upon those things that spark my interest and go after them.

How can I best act on this information?
The Chariot

Just do it. Leap into the fray and allow yourself to pursue these things instead of holding myself back. You  have all of the willpower and determination needed to make anything you are truly interested in a success.  Hesitation is not your friend.

Just take the leap and move your ass already.

DECK USED:  WILDERWOVEN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I best take action for myself at this time?

Lonely Dreamer Tarot

Reading Summary: Blinding yourself (Eight of Swords) to the damage you’re doing with your addictions (The Devil) is childish (Six of Cups). Make the moves needed to support your aspirations (Three of Wands).

Take Away:  The addictions I’ve been indulging in over the past few months are unhealthy eating, not getting enough the exercise I need, and my deck spending. The cards here are telling me to stop wasting time and resources with these things, and instead pour the attention and resources into focusing on the future. With the holiday rush approaching, this is really good advice.   If I’m not taking care of myself (and my finances), how can I expect to run my business (and my life during the holiday rush) as needed? 

DECK USED:  LONELY DREAMER TAROT

Enjoying Collaboration

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IMG_6310Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long, and like yesterday’s meditation, it was a guided meditation with interval timer element added for the sake of my piriformis stretches.

The focus of the guided meditation today was about compassion, and it reminded me of someone that I watch on YouTube from time to time.  Dustin often closes  his videos with “Remember that everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about.  So be kind. Always.”  It is a phrase that has really stuck with me over time, and it is a prime example of the topic of today’s guided meditation.

The guide brought up how sometimes we are impatient or frustrated with others.  Whether it’s because they’re slower than we’d like in a store or on the road, or they’re paying with pennies in the grocery store and we’re stuck behind them, etc.  And the thing is?  Sometimes?  These things that irritate us only do so because we don’t understand what’s going on  and why they’re happening.

The thing is though?  It’s none of our business.  But what is our business is treating these situations and people with patience and understanding, regardless of whether we personally are in the know as to why whatever is happening is happening.

Hush Tarot - Three of PentaclesToday’s draw is is the Three of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of collaboration towards a shared goal or endeavor, usually in the area s of finances, resources, or projects focused on the process of manifestation.

This card feels a lot like the Three of Cups to me.  Three birds enjoying a treat, perched around the rim of a cup together.

And yet, being the Three of Pentacles has it’s own relevance here.  It makes this card about more than successful endeavors and collaboration, but also about enjoying the process.  It’s important to enjoy the time you put towards your projects and endeavors, and when you involve others in on these projects?  Then it’s important that it’s enjoyable for them as well.

The other day a reading suggested I figure out what it is that others who help me during the holiday season enjoy, so that I can shift those jobs to them rather than waiting until I’m desperate for help and handing them whatever jobs need done at the time.   In both instances, they are helping, and getting things done that need done.  But in the former instance they get to really enjoy the process… whereas in the latter scenario they could end up stuck with jobs that suck.

Here in this card I see the results of finding out what people enjoy and giving them those tasks rather than just tossing whatever needs done their way.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I emotionally?

Sasuraibito Tarot

Reading Summary: Feeling secure and grounded (Ten of Pentacles) and supportedly (new word) inspired (Queen of Wands) as at the moment I am both receiving and giving equally (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away: Emotionally I’m feeling pretty good right now. Having a sense of balance and security is really helpful in keeping me on an even keel and making life tolerable as a whole.  I also feel pretty good about my work.  Although I’ve fallen behind a bit, I’m getting help from both L and Z, which is helping a lot in keeping that “fallen behind” from becoming something that feels insurmountable.

DECK USED:  SASURAIBITO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What is Humanity’s biggest accomplishment?

Tarot of the Secret ForestReading Summary: The ability to rise above (Hanged Man and The Sun) experiences of betrayal and deception (Seven of Swords), allowing those experiences to inspire us to be better and become more than before (King of Wands).

Take Away: This is about more than just “learning from our mistakes” but rather about taking the bad things that happen to us that aren’t our mistakes at all, and learning how to not just move past them, but turn them into a positive growth experience.  

I know that not everyone has this ability, but I do agree that the ability to “rise above” really could be one of humanity’s biggest accomplishments, if not one we’ve quite managed to master yet.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SECRET FOREST

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How has my family or foundation positively shaped, influenced or impacted the way I move or carry myself today?

Hardy Tarot

Reading Summary: I learned to fend for myself (Page of Swords) instead of depending upon external praise (Six of Wands), and to be secure in laying claim what’s mine (Queen of Disks).

Take Away: I can’t say that my family foundation has been all that positive, but it has taught me self sufficiency.  Although I do enjoy praise and admiration, I don’t require it.  I’m more than capable of motivating myself without that carrot dangling before me.

By the same turn, it has taught me to feel a good deal of protective ownership over what belongs to me.  This goes beyond personal possessions and includes thoughts, ideas, values, and those things that I work so hard to obtain such as a home, stability, and security.

DECK USED:  HARDY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I make life choices more consciously?

Wiener Secession Tarot

Reading Summary: I need to make it a conscious choice (Two of Spades) to worry less about my fears and anxieties (Nine of Spades) and focus instead on embodying the strength and purpose of my endeavors (King of Clubs) while practicing the moderation needed to keep things balanced (Temperance).

Take Away:  To make life’s choices more consciously (and more confidently, for that matter), the cards indicate that I need to spend less time worrying and more time finding a balance between my drive and my need for self care.  Moderation is not my strong suit, and I have a habit of dropping myself into an endeavor and allowing it to overtake every facet of my life until it is all that I eat, sleep, or breathe.  This is a tendency that I am trying to break myself free of. 

The thing is, when I focus on my anxieties?  It only pushes me more towards the need to delve deep, and pulls me away from the self care I need to sustain in my life.

DECK USED:  WIENER SECESSION TAROT

Puzzle Pieces

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IMG_6276Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and another one of the guided meditations with added interval timer to help me know when I need to change positions in my piriformis stretching.

The guided meditation topic for today’s meditation was mindful eating and spoke about how lots of people have food issues from overeating to underrating for a variety of reasons including emotional issues, scarcity issues, etc. I personally have my own issues with food, although in my case it’s about not being able to balance out my metabolism and nutritional needs. This means that I eat a -lot- of food, and considering my addictive personality issues?  It’s probably a good thing that I need to.

That said, the topic of the meditation was that we need to take more time to really sink into and enjoy our food, focusing on the flavors and textures and satiation aspect available in every bite. I do this quite often, but not all the time. I think everyone does a little “mindless eating” now and then and that it’s natural, although I can see how being more mindful of the food put into your mouth could possibly turn around some food related issues.

Botan Tarot - Two of CupsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unions, duality, and partnerships in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, and creativity.  This often comes across as harmonious attractions and themes of mutual attraction, although not always in a romantic manner.

Like most of the other cards that I’ve pulled from this deck so far this month, it isn’t any one specific element in the imagery that catches my attention.  Instead this deck seems to communicate most strongly to me through color and composition.

What I see in this imagery today is harmonious flow.  Sometimes, harmony isn’t about equality, nor is it about balance.  Sometimes it’s about working together and allowing each other’s differences to compliment each other and support each other.

It’s us.  You and me.  We are so very different, and yet together we are more than we could ever be apart.  We support each other, and we provide something each of the other of us doesn’t have.  It’s our differences that create the perfect fit and harmonious union that we have with each other.

I love you.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my sacral chakra?

English Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Libido fluctuations (imagery in Temperance) weighing heavily (Two of Coins) and creating repressed feelings of responsibility and failure (Knight of Cups Rx).

Side Note:  I was actually starting to wonder if I’d be able to read this deck.  It’s communication is a bit different than what I’ve encountered in the past and I’m struggling with it a bit.  I’ve used it in a few readings thus far, but tossed out the readings because they weren’t “flowing” with my intuition.

Take Away: I need to work at not considering my libido fluctuation as an actual failing on my part. It hasn’t been the same since the cancer and my RPLND, and I get it.  I get that all of that changed things, but I feel so fucking guilty about it having changed and like I’m not giving enough anymore.

I know that our relationship is so much more than just sex… but  sometimes I feel like such a fucking failure in this area.

DECK USED:  ENGLISH MAGIC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me feel… Excited / Happy / Calm

Science TarotWhat makes me feel excited?
Queen of Pentacles

Creation.  Manifestation.  Giving birth to something new.  An idea that is then brought into the real world.  This excites me.  Sometimes my ideas never make it to reality, other times they will eventually but have to be put on the back burner a while first.   But when my creative ideas really do get to be brought forward, worked on, and developed into something real and tangible instead of just concept and thought?   That excites me, no matter how many times it happens.

What makes me feel happy?
Judgement

It makes me happy to know that I’m on the right path.  Knowing that my intuition and moral compass are taking me in the right direction for me, and helping me to not just survive but thrive from one day to the next.  Even when I don’t do things how everyone else does, even when I often see things differently, or process things differently… in the end, my intuition and moral compass continue to steer me right and keep me on track and flourishing.

What makes me feel calm?
Two of Cups

This completely relates back to my COTD pull for today, which is to say… what makes me feel calm is Gideon.  Not just Gideon, but the fact that he is so very different than I am, so I know that I can go to him for whatever I need, whether that be perspective, support, or even validation.  He is the “missing piece” that helps me find my balance when I’m feeling off kilter.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I inspire others?

Archeon Tarot

Reading Summary: In times of uncertainty (The Moon) I inspire others to see what is good in their life (Nine of Pentacles) and to go after their heart’s desires (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  This is something that I really enjoy in life.  It brings me great pleasure to help people work through the shadows of uncertainty and clouded darkness of one’s illusions of pessimism to see that there really is value in their life and they are worth the motivation and effort needed to obtain their dreams. It’s a part of that pleasure that I take in helping others find the path that works for them.  I very much hope that what the cards say here is true.  

DECK USED:  ARCHEON TAROT