daily tarot

Morning Bonus Read – Eclipse of the Heart

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Tarot Eclipse of the Heart Spread - Anino Lenormand

My Courage – House – In knowing where I belong and that I have somewhere to go, I find myself more able to tap into my courage in other areas of my life. It is through the security and stability that having a home provides that makes everything in life just a bit more grounded… a bit more safe… and right.

My Ownership – Coffin – I take responsibility for myself and the consequences that come from my actions.  This includes during times of depression, confusion, or when I am dealing with changes or endings that may cause a bit of a struggle. I own my pessimism, and the negative inner narrative that tries so hard to slide into over and over again, accepting that it is within my power to change these into something more positive.

My Forgiveness – Ring – I forgive myself for my tendency to over-commit and thus overburden myself. Instead of repeating this pattern again and again, I work to ease off on the number of my commitments and find a more manageable balance. (This is not forgiveness in the form of an offense needing forgiven, but rather in the the term “forgive” in the form of releasing.)

My Love – Fox – One of the things I love most about myself is my intelligence and cunning. These qualities allow me to find a path forward in the direction I wish to go in that aligns with my moral compass.  Sometimes these methods might be unorthodox or even seem outright crazy, but there is method behind the madness as the necessity to keep my moral compass happy means sometimes it’s only through thinking outside the box I find a path forward that will work for me.

My Shame – Whip – My greatest shame is my self flagellation and the fact that I know it is not right… but can’t seem to help myself.  That self destructive urge is a trickery that even when I watch out for it, manages to outsmart me and get the better of me again and again. I do not want to be this way or feel those urges… and yet they are inescapable.

My Guilt – Bouquet – The last time I felt guilty was at the grocery store a couple days ago. One of the stock guys was flirting with me and (unlike usually) I noticed.  It felt nice to be flirted with and that made me feel super guilty because I’m so lucky to have Gideon and I love him so fucking much.  It’s not as if I was even remotely tempted to “smell the flowers” of that offer, but the offer was still made and it… felt really good.

My Regret – Crossroads – I have very few regrets in life, but one of my biggest was in choosing to set aside my education and not get my degree. It’s not that this choice wasn’t understandable considering what happened in my life at the time and the recovery that had to come after.  I do use my education in some of my work, as well.  But, that doesn’t change the regret I feel now and then for the path I turned down back then.

My Fear – Woman – Turning into my mother is my greatest fear. She is so self serving.  So conniving.  So… focused on only her own goals, her own wants, her own desires, and her own rise in society that anything that does not serve those things for her is completely irrelevant to her, and anything that does is seen as something to control to her advantage like a chess piece.  I am like her in so many ways, and yet… I don’t want to become anything like her in this regard. Ever.

DECK USED:  ANINO LENORMAND

Equilibrium Adjustments

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Today’s meditation was just over eighteen minutes, and was another of the installments of the mantra meditations.  It was much the same as the others, but a bit longer.  At the end of it, it spoke on the different “stages” or “levels” you fall into when you meditate and I found this really interesting.  I think that the majority of my meditations are too short to experience much variety in this, but I have noticed that with these longer meditations I’m doing currently that they do seem to feel a bit different.

Architect's Tarot and Thera-Pet Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Death card which is traditionally a representation of organic changes that happen gradually over time.  This is not the “tear it down brick by brick in one destructive moment of chaos” that the Tower represents, but rather it’s about the gradual shifts that happen naturally in the world.

I really like the Eischer-esque feel of this card with the open walkway and the figure of a person sitting inverted upon it. It gives everything a slightly surreal quality that is a reflection of how odd things can feel when you realize a change has been coming and is now upon you.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that feeling out of place and uncomfortable is a part of change and not a sign that you’re screwing up.  Change can often be uncomfortable and awkward, it can often feel like a struggle to deal with and adjust to… these aren’t signs of your failure but rather they are “growing pains” as you adapt to a new reality different from the one that you’re used to.  These feelings are natural and fade as you become used to the changes and the newness of them wears off.

DECK USED:  ARCHITECT’S TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What energy am I invited to work with throughout March?

A Siren's Melody Tarot

 Reading Summary: Remember not to overwhelm yourself (Ten of Wands) with work and that perfectionist attitude of yours (Eight of Pentacles) when there are other better and healthier choices available to you (Seven of Cups).

Take Away:   Bad habits have a way of sneaking up and biting me in the ass when I try to shed them, and this is one that’s sure to take a bite more than once as I work through finding a better balance between work and self care. I am being invited to make sure I keep my eyes open for this to rise up over the next month, and be diligent (and wise) enough to catch it when it does and make healthier choices instead.

DECK USED:  A SIREN’S MELODY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What good thing is ready to come into bloom in my life with the arrival of spring?

Architect's TarotReading Summary: If I’m clever with my time and efforts (Seven of Swords), I can tip the scales in my favor so that what I want to continue to grow will do so (Justice).  It might not be the speedy growth I crave, but slow growth is better than no growth at all (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away: The message here is that when you make good choices, good things will grow from those choices…. So make good choices. Clever, intelligent, cunning, strategic good choices.

This reading echoes back to the warning that was buried within my month’s end reading done earlier this morning.  That reading spoke of temptation to act out of character in order to get what I want, and thus triggering repercussions as a result.  Here we see that the prize for staying on track is making choices that are clever and beneficial, while remaining in line with my personal values, is slow but positive growth.

DECK USED:  ARCHITECT’S TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a break from work to chill in IMs with Gideon and watch him open his (belated) birthday gifts.

Allowing for Kindness

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  The reason for this was because I laid down to do it and ended up distracted by a cuddly Luna.  I felt so good and refreshed with Miss Luna’s cuddles that I didn’t really feel the need to meditate (and I was getting a bit cold) so I decided to skip.  Not an excuse, but there’s how it went.

Kei Tarot Love and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is a representation of emotional contentment shared with others in your circle.  Where the Nine of Cups deals with attaining that comfort and satisfaction, in the Ten of Cups we then “share the wealth” of those emotions with others.

You know, it’s funny.  Sometimes I love this deck.  Then other times I can’t seem to connect with the artwork at all. I haven’t figured out exactly why that is.

What I see in this imagery today is a field of snow, a rainbow, and a hint of green grass in the distance.  What I see here is a warming.  A thawing of the cold to something softer and warmer.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is an encouragement to be nicer to yourself, to warm to yourself and silence that inner voice that wants to hold you back and bring you down.

I personally do not call myself garbage… but I do often treat myself like garbage. I know it’s wrong, and I know that it is within my personal control to change this behavior.  I also understand (as hinted at by the Ten of Cups) that I can more successfully address this issue if I enlist the help of others in my circle that love and care about me.

DECK USED:  KEI TAROT LOVE AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CARDS

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: I now give closure to this month and I thank you (ancestors and guides) for your guidance.
Question: What is their response?

Existential Tarot

 Reading Summary: Keep going (New Dawn). Don’t look back (imagery in Reason 7). Take your time reconnecting with yourself and the world (Throwness). 

Take Away: February has been all about my trek through the dark landscape of my depression from the slide down into the pit and visit to the very bottom, to the climb back toward the ledge.  Although I have not reached solid ground again yet, I can feel myself improving every day.  The advice here is to keep going and allow myself to recover at my own pace instead of looking back and possibly allowing that glance back to drag me down, or pushing too hard and being impatient.  They are saying that I’m headed in the right direction and everything will happen in its own time.

DECK USED:  EXISTENTIAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Do Spread 2
Question: What attitude and outlook should I embrace as I move into the week ahead?

Kei Tarot LoveWhat attitude should I embrace as I move into the week ahead?
Two of Wands and Page of Pentacles

Make plans and learn what you need to know in order to move forward.  As the Self Care Saturday reading that I did this weekend has already indicated, this week is about reconnaissance and planning. Make the calls that need to be made, take copious amounts of notes, and then strategize your way forward into what needs to be done.

What outlook should I embrace as I move into the week ahead?
King of Swords and Three of Cups

Take charge, but allow for others to some influence. They have the ability to keep you uplifted, even as you begin to carry responsibility again.  Your time off was restorative and  you’re ready to slide back into that mindset of “large and in charge”.  Just don’t let it swallow you whole and, in doing so, stunt your climb back out of depressions pit and into the light.  Let your loved ones help in lifting you up.

DECK USED:  KEI TAROT LOVE

Daily Self Kindness

I took an ibuprofen, which ostensibly could have been for my foot, but was actually for my left thumb, which is feeling very sore and achy for some reason.

It’s Okay To Shuffle In the Dark

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Today’s meditation was just over seventeen minutes long and was the next installment of the mantra meditation course from the Oak app. Again, the meditation did not do the vocal part of things, but started the mantra in the head and kept it there. With each of the meditations in the course, the guide speaks less and there is more time to linger in the actual meditation side of things, which is really nice. I have a bit of mental straying today, but it was more like dreaming, then catching myself dreaming and coming back to center.

Silhouettes Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Knight of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of an active projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, home life, health, and manifestations. While the Pentacles suit is one of slow movement, the Knight is an indication of forward motion and determination. These two qualities combine to indicate themes that have to do with slow progress, productivity, and working hard towards one’s goals.

One thing that stands out strongly to me in the imagery of this card today is the fact that the knight is looking backward.  They look to the pentacle in their hand… but also in the direction of the past even as the horse continues to move forward into the future.

This combined with the Tera-Pets card for today speaks to me about a need to be sure you are focusing upon what is important to you.  Sometimes when we are moving forward it feels more like we’re fumbling forward in the dark, and that’s okay.  The Knight of Pentacles joined with the message on the second card tells us that even when we are walking forward blind with our hands out to feel the way?  We’re still moving forward… and that’s what’s important.

DECK USED:  SILHOUETTES TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic:  A supportive message from the cards for this Full Moon

Nano Starseeds Tarot

 Reading Summary: It’s up to you to fight the good fight (Seven of Wands) as long as you feel that you’re in the right (Knight of Cups), but don’t forget that others are in that fight (Five of Swords) are a part of your past (Six of Cups) and thus a part of your future.

Take Away:  The past cannot be erased. What you do cannot be erased. You carry your actions forward with you into the future and forever after.  Make sure that when you are fighting for what you believe is right, that you keep in mind the methods you use and keep in mind that those you are fighting against and what you do to win will be indelibly inked into a part of who you are forever forward.

DECK USED:  NANO STARSEEDS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question:  What do I need to focus on for self-care for this full moon?

Silhouettes TarotReading Summary: Call your mother (Queen of Swords). Now (The Chariot). And listen to what she has to say (The Hanged Man).

Take Away: Apparently, I need to make a phone call in the morning (because trust me, she won’t appreciate me calling and waking her ass up in the middle of the night).

I was going to call her this evening.  Then I got a bottle of piss thrown on me by a homeless man and… yeah.  Well. Plans change.

These cards don’t just indicate that I need to call my mother, though.  They make it clear that in doing so I need to pay attention not just to -what- she’s saying, but where what she says is coming from.  The hanged man tells me to listen closely, and look deeper.  There’s more to the conversation than what lies on the surface.

DECK USED:  SILHOUETTES TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took three showers today, brushed my teeth four times. And plan on taking another shower before bed.

Morning Bonus Read – State of Being

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Join me this week in my very simple state of being draw.”

Edo Tokugawa Karuta Playing CardsHow am I doing emotionally this week?

Ace of Spades atop Eight of Hearts – Too much in my head and it’s not going well for that reason.  The time off has been good for me, but I need to stop spending so much time thinking on the new processes and methods that have been changing around me over the past couple weeks and just let things flow and settle and worry about them later.

What am I going through mentally this week?

Jack of Spades – This is the problem that is causing my emotions so much turmoil. The problem is that I am used to being able to learn what I need to know when I want to know it.  Waiting is (figuratively) killing me because I can’t get the information I need and I can’t start the adjustment process that will need to take place.  For this reason I’m agitated and spending a good deal of time “all in my head” instead of allowing myself to relax and be at ease.

What should I focus on physically this week?

Six of Clubs – Get out into nature and find my balance.  I have the ability to ground and center, to find my balance, and to find peace… but I need to actually get my ass out into nature and do it.  An hour was not enough… do more.  Don’t let the crutch hold you back because you know damned well there’s plenty of places you can go to enjoy that connection where showing up with a crutch and a gimp foot won’t be a problem.

DECK USED: EDO TOKUGAWA KARUTA PLAYING CARDS

The Nature of Value

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Today’s meditation was supposed to be another installment of the mantra meditation, but it turns out I was so beat that I ended up dozing off within the first couple of minutes of the meditation.  So… today’s meditation was skipped and I had a nap instead.  I will pick it back up tomorrow.

Tarot Skrytých Světů and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of generosity, being receptive to help, and the giving and receiving that is involved in balancing the scales between the “haves” and the “have nots”.

Like so many of the cards in this deck, I see a lot of fae energy in this card.  The piper that coaxes wealth from stone, the seedling below that absorbs that wealth like mana from the gods. In the image here we have not just the have and have not but rather we have one that can coax what is needed from the world around him, draw it out to shower upon the one in need that lies below. This is an exchange of not wealth but energy.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message that I see here is that sometimes we need to look to others for inspiration.  Outside sources can sometimes give us the added oomph needed to do the things that need to be done… including the self care we need for ourselves.

I find this in my relationship with Gideon. Not once in the nearly thirteen years of our relationship have we ever borrowed, loaned, given, or requested for monetary support from each other.  Not once.  Not once has money ever been offered or asked for.

Instead, the exchange between us is in something far more valuable.  He receives from me what he finds of greatest value (and to be fair I am not sure what these things are, but I would guess that a part of it is my encouragement for him to be a better man, to do better and be better and shine brighter)…. and in turn I receive from him those things of greatest value that I need.  Support and love, encouragement and nurturing.  He gives me strength… and helps me be accountable to how I treat myself. That is the mana he provides to me in my life.

DECK USED:  TAROT SKRYTÝCH SVĚTŮ (SHADOWSCAPES TAROT CZECH VERSION) AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: Moments of resonance
Question: How can I listen more closely and go more deeply into my moments of resonance?

Fournier's Tarot Cats by Ana Juan

How can I listen more closely to my moments of resonance?
Ten of Pentacles and Nine of Cups

Be settled and grounded and grateful.  This is about balance and security, and the need for both in order to hear more clearly what those moments mean and where they come from.  When distracted by chaos or imbalance, it becomes harder to focus on those moments, and harder to render meaning from them, because there’s so much going on that’s pulling your attention away from that feeling of resonance deep within.

How can I go more deeply into my moments of resonance?
King of Swords Rx and Eight of Cups

Don’t over think it and instead let it lead you to new horizons. Moments of resonance are about intuition. Using too much reason and analytical thinking will just pick them apart and leave them like tiny pieces of shredded paper on the floor.  Instead of dissecting these feelings and invalidating them with logic and reason, allow them to take you forward into the sensation itself and introduce you to new understanding about what feels right for you and you alone..

DECK USED:  FOURNIER’S TAROT CATS BY ANA JUAN

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I best work at improving the skill of a more gentle and nurturing delivery during readings?

Tarot Skrytých SvětůReading Summary: Acknowledge that using a nudging and persuasive tone (Strength) is too much too fast for some people (Four of Swords Rx). Instead, slow down (Knight of Pentacles) and allow a warmth to overlay (Queen of Pentacles) your normally more forceful approach.

Take Away: Although my reading for others is focused on empowerment and helping them, sometimes I come off too strong in this regard and it feels like “too much” in the moment.  To temper this, I need to slow down and focus on instilling more warmth into my delivery.  It’s not about giving them a shoulder to cry on but rather providing a glowing center of warmth and caring that threads through that message of empowerment.  In slowing down, it then is easier for them to digest and the warmth further makes acceptance of what’s being said go more smoothly and easily.

DECK USED:  TAROT SKRYTÝCH SVĚTŮ (SHADOWSCAPES TAROT CZECH VERSION)

Daily Self Kindness

When I realized I had dozed off into a nap during my meditation, I didn’t berate myself or shame myself for it.  Instead I wallowed into the pillow and enjoyed the relaxation.