daily positivity

Stand Strong

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and attached to the end of my yoga/physiotherapy practice.  After a handful of days away, getting back into a full practice is really important, and even in just those few days, I can feel the difference in my body from not doing my full routine.  There is a decrease in flexibility, and a tightness in my hips and shoulders that will take probably about two weeks to work out probably.

I used the meditation at the end of my practice to do some deeper stretches and focus on my breath as a way to breathe through the pain and keep my body relaxed through the process.

Nine of Trees - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Trees, which is a representation of resilience and strength.  I really like the little caption in the book for this deck, to be honest.   It speaks about a tree standing strong through the elements and the struggles of harsh environment and harsher weather.  And yet, even on the edge of a cliff in the blowing wind with the weight of snow on it’s boughs, the tree stands straight and tall, a figure of endurance.

This is a beautiful message and I love the use of the tree to convey it.  It speaks of standing strong through adversity, and is something that I need to hear right now when I’ve made my own stand so recently and a hint of guilt teases back in the shadows, not quite reachable or visible, but there all the same.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I foster a better relationship with my body?

Lion's Gateway Tarot

Reading Summary: I need to make time (Two of Pentacles) to go to the gym with Jer (Three of Cups), something that will not just help me physically, but emotionally as well as being a bonding experience for my friendship (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  January was so confusing and I can’t even be sure where all the month went.  I feel like I went through the month in a fog of confusion and fumbling in the dark.  But it feels like I’m pulling out of that now since we confronted my fears concerning that letter.  So maybe now that clarity is coming into play, it’s time to start looking at scheduling that time at the gym.

I need to start going again, as the weight I dropped five years ago during my chemotherapy never really came back.  Since then I’ve managed to gain a few pounds, but as soon as I get sick?  I lose them again.  Hell, those purple leather pants from Sunday were from back when I was sixteen.  I need to get some weight on me, and the only way to do it is to get my ass to the gym. 

DECK USED:  LION’S GATEWAY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best work at improving that skill?

Hide Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:   I need to stay the course concerning finding those connections I need for a more stable and protected mediumship experience. This is about going slow and steady, but also staying focused.  If I want to improve my abilities with both grief readings and mediumship, that connection to my guides is going to be necessary, and after having ignored them for so long and leaving them to “do their own thing” and essentially do all the work in communication with me, it’s now my turn to show that I am also willing to work at it.

DECK USED:  HIDE TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: What to attend to / What to leave behind

Majestic Earth Tarot

What to attend to: Optimism.  I need to work on my optimism, which includes working harder at holding each day’s positive message with me throughout the day.  It’s great to have that positive message in the morning, but sometimes I lose sight of it through the day.  I saw an idea lately on one of the Discord servers where someone uses the card for their COTD as their phone’s wallpaper each day.  I think I might give that a try as a way to help me keep in touch with each day’s positive message throughout the day.

What to leave behind: It’s time to take a step back from my more analytical mindset and allow my emotions to have a piece of the action.  Sometimes decisiveness and analytical thinking just isn’t enough, and you have to reach for more.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

You’ve Got This

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I used the time as an opportunity to center and calm from the burst of anxiety I woke up with first thing this morning.

The meditation involved some breath counting exercises, and a body scan that went from head to toes and then slowly back up again.  It was relaxing, and actually did help a bit in getting that tight anxiety knot in my gut to ease up some.

Prisma Visions TarotToday’s draw is The Magician card of the Major Arcana.  This card is an indication of being resourceful and having all the “tools” you need to manifest what you want to come into being.

The appearance of The Magician in today’s draw is as a cheerleader.  The Magician has appeared to essentially tell me “You’ve got this”.

After my exploits at mother’s club yesterday, I woke up today feeling a bit awkward and out of sorts.  Sort of like a hammer might be about to drop at any moment. The Magician’s appearance is a reminder that IF a hammer drops (or even if it doesn’t and it’s just me having a bit of a tweak at what I did in humiliating my mother) that I have everything I need to deal with any issues that arise as a result.

DECK USED:  PRISMA VISIONS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my body?

The Binding of Isaac Tarot

Reading Summary: I really want to be good to myself (Queen of Pennies) and have lots of ideas on how to do so (Page of hearts), but when it comes to the doing part of the equation, I’m just not following through with the skill and solid dedication that is needed (King of Keys).

Take Away:  Essentially, the cards are saying I’m “all talk and no action” when it comes to the self care of my body.  And they aren’t wrong.  A lot of my self care focus rests not on my body (other than the need for rest), but on my emotional and mental well-being instead.

DECK USED:  THE BINDING OF ISAAC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What skill in my tarot practice needs improvement?

Gay Tarot

Reading Summary:  Providing a sense of stability and uplifting messages (Four of Wands) in times of grief and loss (Three of Wands and Five of Coins).  There is also a modicum of conflict in these types of readings where I am concerned (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  Even before I was mute, I didn’t do too great with grief readings.  My delivery is a bit too blunt at a time when most people need a gentler approach. The conflict in these cards has to do with me avoiding mediumship in readings. If the reading from last fall is any indication, there’s clearly a latent ability here that I have been actively avoiding.

DECK USED:  GAY TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Morning message / Nighttime reflection

PrismaVisions TarotInterpretation:  It’s not surprising at all that I would receive the same card for this reading as I got for my morning COTD.  The Magician’s message is that “You’ve got this” and the reiteration of the message means that there is more.  The second appearance references not just my trepidation concerning yesterday’s escapades, but also today’s game of “catch up” as I try to get orders ready to go out tomorrow after having spent some time out of town.   The nighttime reflection message has to deal with

The appearance of the Devil card as the nighttime reflection has to do with the amount of distraction that I allowed into my day.  I couldn’t really afford any distractions at all, but I did.  As a result, I ended up more behind than I’d like and needing to carry some of my work for tomorrow’s shipments over into the morning, which will in turn set me behind in my trip to the post office, and cause me to be later in getting home from that trip.  Repercussions and consequences from the bit of distraction I allowed myself earlier in the day.

DECK USED:  PRISMA VISIONS TAROT

Knowing Your Values

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I had an extremely difficult time staying focused today, which is not particularly surprising considering what I had planned for later in the morning.  I think it was good that I did sit down and do it, though, as it helped settle my nerves a bit.

Now that that part of the day is over, though, I will probably try again later this evening before we begin the drive home.

Today’s draw is the Hanged Man, which is also apropos for this morning’s activities.  Although in this case it is me showing others a different perspective than taking one myself.   There is a part of the Hanged Man’s interpretation that has to do with criminal behavior and payment as well, which is also appropriate.

The appearance of the Hanged Man in today’s draw is a reminder of who I am and what I stand for.  It is here to keep me from getting lost in my rebellion or the upheaval that it causes and is sure to cause down the line.  My acts today were done with reason and purpose, and when the chaos is swirling around me I need to keep hold of that and remember that.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve my relationship with my mind?

Reading Summary:  A strong and stable connection with my mind (King of Swords) will require me to stay true to my values (Judgement) and that intrinsic sense of fairness that I need so deeply (Justice).

Take Away:  My inner sense of self and moral compass requires a balanced approach and a fairness to be incorporated into my thoughts and actions.  When I occasionally stray from this, it weakens that connection I have to my mind and it’s level and logical approach to seeing and processing the world.

DECK USED:  THE INVERSION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I be a better friend?

Reading Summary:  Be there for my friends when they need a helping hand (Nine of Wands) and provide the emotional boosts that they occasionally need (Knight of Cups) when they are trapped into feelings of uncertainty (The Moon).

Take Away: Sometimes friends need more than outside the box thinking to help them work through a problem and find a solution.  Sometimes they need emotional support as well.   It’s not really my strong suit, but the cards indicate if I want to be a better friend, this is an area I could improve on.

Deck Note: Oddly?  I really love this deck, which considering the subject reminder is a bit surprising to me.  The deck reminds me of those tiny green plastic soldier toys from the dollar store. I know that these are actual WWII propaganda posters, but they all have that “toy soldiers playing out card meanings” feel to me.  I kinda like it.

DECK USED:  WWII POSTERS TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Where should I emerge? / What do I see in my shadow?

Reading Summary:  I don’t know the system for these cards as they are a recent gift without any sort of book, so the read off these is 100% intuitive off the imagery.  The cards indicate that I need to step out of my shell more with others at large rather than just hiding away.  In the shadow behind me is pride and depression… or rather that indulging in pride can lead into depression.

Take Away:  It’s true that I have a habit of closing myself off.  It’s not elitist or that I mean to close people out, so much as that it is a defense mechanism that was created through experiencing some pretty damaging betrayals.  I don’t mean to project that on others, but when I feel vulnerable I retreat rather than stepping forward.

As for what lingers in my shadow.  The “pride” I am seeing here is my demand to live up to some imaginary standard that I can never quite reach.  In this context, the fact that I fail to reach this standard can absolutely be a trigger for depression.

DECK USED:  DISHONORED TAROT

Celebrating Your Joys

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and extremely uncomfortable. This had to do with the fact that my muscles were so tight that I was very stiff to the point of some pretty intense pain. It did help my body normalize the pain a bit, though, which is always a good thing.

Page of Wands - Textured TarotToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is often a representation of that spark of creativity within the energetic passion of the Wands suit.

The message for me in this card is about finding what you love and reveling in it. It isn’t enough sometimes to just do what you love, sometimes you need to really relish it. Wallow in it, and celebrate it and the joy you find within it.

It’s about enthusiasm and the joyous celebration of how our passions enrich our lives… and is very much the lighthearted reminder I needed today to help counterbalance the weight of my anger and disappointment concerning yesterday’s events.

DECK USED: TEXTURED TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my mind right now?

Circle Inner Animal Tarot

Me – Queen of Swords – Dignity and Strength

My Mind – Nine of Cups – The Happy Camper

Our Relationship – Four of Cups and The Star – Working well together as long as I stay open

Advice – Seven of Wands – Avoid feelings of defensiveness

Take Away – Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. I’m on solid footing, but even with my regular pessimistic outlook, I can sometimes be a bit too hopeful at times when my mind has already reasoned out a negative result or outcome.

DECK USED: CIRCLE INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Dixit Cards Daydreams Expansion PackReading Summary: Its time to start looking more closely at the spirit guide aspect of my practice, but during the early times of this new path, I need to tread lightly and with care.

My creativity will start to reawaken soon, and to foster that process, I just need to practice some patience for the time being. Just wait.

Take Away: I have always pretty much ignored my spirit guides. I knew that they existed and were out there to assist and protect me, but I’ve always just let them do their own thing and go their own way. This has always worked really well for me, and for them too it seems. But in the fall I had a n expert hat makes me feel like I need to start making more of an effort where they are concerned. The cards are telling me to take things slow and don’t be overeager in pursuit of that new connection and/or method of communication.

DECK USED: DIXIT CARDS DAYDREAMS EXPANSION PACK

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Where to be free / Where to let your intuition guide you

Textured Tarot

Reading Summary: Now is a good time to research and work on getting my ducks in a row concerning the note administrative tasks of my home and business. Set my inner snake retentive organization freak free.

It’s going to be important to depend on my intuition when I start to feel like something is missing. The answers are not always clear cut to the naked eye and when you delve deeper, it will be you intuition that needs to lead the way.

Take Away: It’s tax season! Right… so I hate tax season, but it is an excellent opportunity to get organized and get all of one’s ducks in a row. I just need to remember not to allow all that organization and analytical thinking to shut down my intuition.

DECK USED: TEXTURED TAROT

Ruts and Therapists, Oh My!

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and focused on how many something isn’t working for you, whether it be a mindset or a method, sometimes you need to look for a different perspective or a different way of doing things.

We all get stuck in a rut sometimes, and sometimes it’s really hard to think outside the box… But it’s in those times especially that we need to strive for that different outlook or new idea.

Sometimes this means just taking the time to sit down and work out what’s working for you and what isn’t, and other times it means you need to consult others in order to receive fresh perspectives to dwell on and work with. This is, in fact, one of the main tenants are going to therapy, is that you find an outside source that has no vested interest in the situation they can then help find those different perspectives and ways of doing things that you may not of thought of on your own.

Circle Inner Animal Tarot Today’s draw is the Empress card, which is commonly interpreted as the nurturing counterbalance to the Emperor, and a representation of abundance and nature.

The appearance of the Empress in today’s draw is a reminder during my very trying and challenging times today (of which there will be many, as it’s casino day at mom’s house), that it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.

The card also brings my mind to the hike I did yesterday, and I think keeping my enjoyment of that in the forefront of my mind will help me in moving through today’s trials.

DECK USED: CIRCLE INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to continue a cycle of growth throughout the rest of 2020?

Postcards From the Liminal Space Tarot

Reading Summary: Identify issuers rather than burying them and ignoring them (First Card). Reach out for help in dealing with those issues (Second Card). Remember that it’s ok to indulge in something nice once in a while without beating yourself up about it (Third Card).

Take Away: I’m essentially being called out here in reference to the things I do that are not helpful to my own growth and well being. The cards are 100% right of course, but the underlying message here is snout changing up how I do things as a whole. It’s about accepting the negative way I do things as not just not self care, but self destructive behaviors to add to my “watch list”.

DECK USED: POSTCARDS FROM THE LIMINAL SPACE ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I clinging to that can be let go of without repercussion?

WWII Posters Tarot

Reading Summary: I worry too much over my financial acumen (Page of Pentacles) and if I’m doing things “right” (Six of Wands) and on the right course(Seven of Wands). I’ve plotted a good course (Two of Wands) that will carry me forward and allows me the freedom to explore my creativity (Page of Cups).

Take Away: I stress over my finances on a nearly constant basis. Although this doesn’t keep me from the things I enjoy, as I factor them in, it does cause me a decent amount of stress. Today’s cards indicate that I don’t need to worry so much, as I’m on a good path where Mt finances are concerned.

DECK USED: WWII POSTERS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I better check in with myself?

The Inversion Tarot in a Tin

Reading Summary: Say no to apathy (Five of Cups and The Sun) and ignorance (The Fool). Depend on others to help (Three of Pentacles).

Take Away: The cards are really drilling down on the “ask for help” aspect lately. I can’t deny it though. It’s something that I’m not entirely comfortable doing. A lot of times I struggle with even how to approach things at all or identifying that I need help in the first place. Still, the cards have made it pretty clear lately that I do.

DECK USED: THE INVERSION TAROT IN A TIN

Go On… Get Going

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

PNW Rainforest Today’s meditation was done in the middle of the rainforest, and I didn’t really keep track of how long I was meditating for. I went for a hike earlier today, and while out among the trees and the ferns, I found a place to settle in for a bit and relaxed.

The meditation was obviously not guided, but a combination of breathing exercises and immersion into the senses and surroundings.

The Chariot - Textured TarotToday’s draw is The Chariot card, and was the inspiration for today’s hike. I was trying to decide between taking a nap or going outside to find some fresh air just before doing my cards today, and the chariot cane up.

I took it as a sign that I needed to get outside and take some control over my own self care, so I went for a drive and was drawn to an old stomping ground from my youth. I spent some time hiking down to the beach front park, and then back up again to where I’d left my car.

DECK USED: THE TEXTURED TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How is the universe inviting me to celebrate that? (Built off of yesterday’s reading)

Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: Even though you can’t always see it (The High Priestess), you are protected and watched over when you are feeling vulnerable (the owl’s extended wing), so jump on in and explore your emotional depths (Knight of Cups). You’re safe and protected while doing so (The Emperor).

Take Away:  There is definitely a bit of hesitation. And one of those “I dunno what to do” feelings you get when trying something new and unfamiliar. Thank you for being there to watch over me and make sure that my fumbling in the dark to find my way doesn’t result in my breaking my nose in a rake handle. I love you, my stick.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is your greatest vice you’re not consciously aware of?

Dixit Cards - Daydreams Expansion Pack

Reading Summary: My desire for acceptance is stronger than I realize (First Card), and on an emotional level I subconsciously seek out praise and or accolades (Second Card) to sate that desire (Third Card).

Take Away:  Ouch! Geez… ok yeah, that’s probably true. I’m pretty sure that’s a somewhat common human trait as a whole but it definitely stung a bit hearing it.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS – DAYDREAMS EXPANSION PACK

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What is a good way for me to stay motivated?

The Textured Tarot

Reading Summary: These cards are about my making the list. It’s about feeling mentally overburdened (Ten of Swords) and finding a new way (Ace of Swords) and you holding me accountable and keeping me on track emotionally (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I think the tasks list is a really good idea, but I think I might need a reminder now and then that when I write things down on it I need to break some of them down into smaller tasks.

DECK USED:  THE TEXTURED TAROT