Daily Focus

Accolades To The Self

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IMG_7720Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer to allow for my piriformis stretches. 

The topic of today’s meditation was about checking our expectations in order to assure you do not create repeated situations of disappointment.  This is something that I have been doing my entire life and, I suspect, is something that the majority of pessimists do regularly.

Interestingly enough… even with this precaution in place?  There is one place where I am continually finding myself disappointed and caught in expectations that… I didn’t really think were unrealistic and yet have been proven to be again and again.   That area would be… people.

I am taken by surprise and disappointed in this area so many times when it comes to people and their common sense, their intelligence, their respect of others or the earth, their ability to empathize, their lack of awareness…  The list goes on.  People… somehow even my low expectations are often just too lofty.   As I’ve aged, the bar has dropped more and more, and yet is never low enough it seems.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Nine of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Nine of Pentacles, which is traditionally an indication of taking stock and enjoying the fruits of your labors.  It is about appreciation and accomplishment, and the pride of a job well done.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the boy’s fist in the air.  It creates a sense of celebration in this card, indicating that his accomplishments are something that he is elated about.

I also note that, unlike in many Nine of Pentacles cards, he is not alone.  He is accompanied by a lamb that appears to gaze up at him in admiration, perhaps helping to reinforce for him his sense of accomplishment.

The message here in today’s card is about appreciating your own accomplishments, and doing so regardless of who looks on or what their opinions may be on the matter.  If you can’t take pride in your own work and triumphs, no amount of praise or adoration is going to get you there.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Mercury Question: What can I learn from my Mercury Zodiac placement?

The Multi-Stabber Tarot

Reading Summary: To not tolerate (Six of Swords) what doesn’t work for me (The Sun Rx), when there is so much out there that could suit me better (The Universe).

Take Away:  There’s definitely a lot that I already do not tolerate and am willing to shed when it doesn’t work for me.  The thing is, though?  There is also plenty that I have not yet managed to shed. Much of these things have to do with my upbringing and the negative inner narrative that has spawned from that time in my life.  The cards indicate that having Mercury in Taurus is an element of my chart that could help me in learning to let go of these things and find a better path that is more suited to me personally.

DECK USED:  MULTI-STABBER TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Self care I need right now for the…. Mind / Body / Spirit

Edgar Allan Poe TarotSelf Care I Need Right Now For The Mind

The World is a reminder that everything is going to be okay. The world moves on and life moves on, and even when things are sometimes difficult, that too is temporary.

Self Care I Need Right Now For The Body

The Wheel of Fortune reminds me that I need to stay grounded. Don’t step to the edge of the wheel where the spin is felt more severely. Instead, remain as close to the center as possible, so that the pull and chaos of the spin does not affect your body and life so strongly.

Self Care I Need Right Now For The Spirit

The Page of Pentacles atop The Magician indicates that new tools are coming my way. I need to make sure that I claim them for myself instead of ignoring them, as they will help in manifesting what I want to bring into reality once I have learned to use them well.

DECK USED:  EDGAR ALLAN POE TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What hidden aspect of myself would be better exposed for the world?

Mary El Tarot 1st Edition

Reading Summary: My ability to share the heart’s truth (Queen of Cups) during times when people are most open and receptive to healing words (Four of Swords) that will guide them into making the choices that are best for them (The Lovers).

Take Away:  Gideon has mentioned this on numerous occasions. That sometimes I come out with a seemingly random (or not random but unexpected) little nugget of thought during a conversation with people, that to these other people is groundbreaking and speaks to their heart, opening them up to something they hadn’t realized was possible.  I don’t know when I’m doing this… and don’t realize notice when it happens.  But I’ve had people occasionally come back and tell me about these moments.

DECK USED:  MARY EL TAROT 1ST EDITION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I feel happiest with myself?

Elemental Tarot

Reading Summary: When I am in control and in my element (The Chariot) sharing my knowledge with others (The Hierophant), and guiding them toward making the decisions in life that are best for them (The Lovers).

Take Away:  Yes… I am a control freak.  I admit it.  I need my independence, I need my autonomy, and I absolutely need to be in control of my own life.   I also love sharing my knowledge with others, as well as helping them in not just learning the things they want to learn, but in helping them in finding the path that is best suited for them.  Whether done in small ways or large, I also learn during this process… as well as finding it very rewarding besides.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL TAROT

Revelry Can Be Healthy

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  This is primarily because I overslept and felt like if I went to lie down and meditate, I’d end up dozing off again.  I figured that an impromptu nap, although nice, probably wasn’t going to make my day go any smoother, so I decided to put the meditation off until later.  At this point, it’s now a meditation that I will do before bed, since it’s now the end of the day.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Four of WandsToday’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of the passion and stability found in one’s home life, the celebration of that stability and the relaxation it can provide, and the joys of homecoming.

When I think of the Four of Wands, I think of that moment when you step through the front door and take a breath.  The stress and tension of the outside world sloughing off and falling away as you exhale, and leaving behind a sense of relief.  That, in its own way, is very much a celebration… but it is not the kind of celebration that I see here in the imagery of today’s card.

What I see here looks more like revelry.

And… why not? Sometimes a little lighthearted revelry to celebrate the comfort and stability of your home life is a good thing.  A form of appreciation and expression of joy at the harmony and security you’ve grown and fostered for yourself and those you love.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #2
What drives my urge to spend beyond my means?

Golden Tarot by Kat BlackReading Summary: The desire to have what I want when I want it (Seven of Swords), and feeling a lack of nurturing in my life (Queen of Cups Rx), combined with an enthusiasm that tries to blind me to reality (The Fool).

The Seven of Swords and Queen of Cups lean into the past, indicating that these urges are rooted in my past instead of within the present or future.  There is also a color connection between the Seven of Swords and the Fool which indicates that the “I want what I want when I want it” urge is a foolish endeavor, and rooted in childish mentality.

Take Away: I am feeling called out. *LOL*  Fortunately we are talking about urges, and I have the self restraint to make sure I do not spend beyond my means… no matter how tempting that might be sometimes.  The indication here is that that urge to spend beyond my means is rooted in the need for a balm to some inner part of myself that feels neglected and abandoned… combined with a bit of the whole “I want what I want when I want it” added in there.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN TAROT BY KAT BLACK

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What aspect of myself am I ready to nurture and embrace?

Emerging From Darkness Tarot

Reading Summary: Everybody is looking towards the past, and thus this reading is about the past and how it influences my present and future.

In the past lies the home life I craved filled with stability, security, comfort, and harmony (Four of Wands Rx). I’m ready to lean into my meditation and spirituality (Four of Cups) to overcome the obstacles that my past has created (Nine of Wands) and move forward in learning how to build my own home (Daughter of Coins).

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that it is time to use my spirituality and meditation to assist me in overcoming my shadows concerning my home life when I was young and how it influences how I treat myself and look at my future goals concerning home life and stability.  There is a lot of uncertainty surrounding my stability and security when it comes to my home life, not because I am unable to create these things, but because there is a negative whisper inside where my shadows live that tells me it’s never enough.

It’s time to start nurturing that part of myself, and accepting that the past does not have to reverberate into the future.

DECK USED:  EMERGING FROM DARKNESS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is my biggest strength?

Tarots Egyptiens Anima Antiqua

Reading Summary:  Using my sense of order and organization (Nine of Wands) to assist me in getting what I want out of life (Ten of Coins) and using my creativity to get me there (Knight of Cups) despite the obstacles that stand in my path (Queen of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  The fact that I am adaptable and willing to use my creativity to advance towards my goals, combined with my sense of order and organization, is my greatest strength as it allows me to overcome obstacles that might try to block me along the way.

DECK USED:  TAROTS EGYPTIENS ANIMA ANTIQUA

Take A Look Around

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Like yesterday’s post, I’m playing a bit of catch up. I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 7th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Eight of SwordsToday’s draw is the Eight of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of painting oneself into a corner, putting hurdles in your own way, and other self defeating behavior including negative inner dialogue and pity party mentality.

What stands out to me the most strongly in this card’s imagery today is that there is no swords or snakes on the other side of the large tombstone looking rock.  The boy and the fox are so focused on the snake and swords that they haven’t looked around to see that there’s another way out of their situation.

And the boy and the fox?  They are me.  Freaking out and forgetting to look at other options, allowing my worries and fears to narrow my focus.  I need to remember to stay calm and take a look around.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Rising Sign Question: How can I balance the self with those around me, to achieve what I am asked to work on this month?

Witches Wisdom Tarot

Reading Summary: Focus on your new emotions (Ace of Water) and not the old feelings of scarcity that so often drive you (Five of Water Rx). You need to be able to go after what you desire and not just what you think you need to do (Messenger of Water atop Ace of Air), and you will once again light the fire of inspiration within you (Ace of Fire).

Take Away:  This is about putting more priority on the pleasure of my work and letting go of that iron grip I have on the feelings of responsibility and desperation that I often you use to push me forward.  The truth is? I’ve been using those feelings of responsibility and desperation more and more over time, and they are smothering my spark of enthusiasm and inspiration under their weight.

DECK USED:  WITCHES WISDOM TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Wish for the Future / Next Step in Getting There / The Home of My Hope

Savran Forest TarotWish For The Future – The Moon Rx – Less uncertainty is a great wish for the future.  Like most people, I struggle a great deal with insecurities and the illusions they create that make my reality mine and subjective.  These insecurities create a feeling of anxiety, and encourage predictive thinking that isn’t rooted in divination but rather is rooted in fear.  To be free of the uncertainties that stir up these insecurities would make for a beautiful future.

Next Step in Getting There – The Tower atop Four of Swords Rx – Make sure that you’re not standing back and practicing restraint during the chaos to come.  Sometimes, if you step back, you can ride out the chaos in peace.  Other times?  You have to fight for what you want to keep during those moments.  In this case?  You have to fight.

The Home of My Hope – The World – I take comfort from, as well as it being the home of my hope concerning, the cyclical pattern of life. The fact that we move through a journey that spirals back upon itself on another higher level again and again as we become better people through each event and trial we work through.  It fills me with hope that this cycle moves not just through our lives, but is also the journey of the soul.  A journey of betterment through time and experience.

DECK USED:  SAVRAN FOREST TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What aspect of myself am I ready to shed?

Oak Ash & Thorn Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m ready to take control (The Chariot) of my depression caused by my constant disappointment in myself (Three of Swords), and instead live in a place of contentment (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  The cards are long-form telling me that I’m ready to shed some of my shadows that spur on my detrimental inner dialogue and create the potential for that slippery down-slope into depression.  This more generalized depression then has the ability to trigger a major depressive episode with far reaching and dangerous effects. 

The cards here indicate that shedding these shadows requires determination and control, but that the reward on the other side of having dealt with them and shed them is finding greater contentment in life.

DECK USED:  OAK ASH & THORN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is my biggest fear?

The Mushroom Tarot

Reading Summary:  Being overtaken (Five of Swords) by my mother’s qualities and influences (Queen of Wands Rx), and turning my world into shit as a result (Wheel of Fortune Rx)

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that my biggest fear is turning into my mother.  I have many of her qualities, and this is something I do very much fear.  I don’t want to become the cold, calculating, self centered type of person that uses the world and everyone in it as their personal game of chess.  I dread the effect that allowing these qualities to take hold within myself would have on my life and those around me.

DECK USED:  THE MUSHROOM TAROT

Kindness Isn’t a Roadblock

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I’ve managed to fall behind again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 6th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around (and tomorrow too) as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Queen of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, home life, health, resources, and manifestations.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the way that the woman holds onto the coin/pentacle/disc. She holds that disc much as a woman holds her unborn child when it is still tucked within her womb.

The message here is about nurturing growth.  It’s about the fact that manifestation of those things you want to create will come more smoothly, more healthily, and far easier if you add a bit of nurturing warmth to the process of getting there.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Rising Sign Question: How does the world around me perceive me right now?

Bosch Tarot

Reading Summary: Easy to work with and align with (Two of Cups), able to lead the way with other’s new emotional investments (Ace of Chalices), the governing body over chaos and conflict (The Emperor) there to save the day when needed (Seven of Swords Rx).  Something within the warmth of the cups cards also indicates that they think I’m nicer than I really am.

Take Away:  Apparently the world around me sees me as understanding and admirable, and more approachable than I realize.  A leader willing to help others and work with others, but able to put my foot down when its needed.  

DECK USED:  BOSCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my friendships.

Sweeney TarotReading Summary: When you’re feeling lost (Five of Pentacles) and internally chaotic (The Tower Rx), your friends are there to help point the way and lead you forward (King of Wands).

Take Away: The advice here is that I can trust my friends and loved ones to know where I want to go and the ambitions I want to fulfill, and to help nudge me forward and keep me going even when I feel lost in the weeds of my own inner chaos.  Sometimes it can be hard, during those times, to see beyond the inner conflict, but I can safely trust those that love me to help keep me from falling off my desired path entirely.

DECK USED:  SWEENEY TAROT

Confidence and Caution

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IMG_7630Today’s meditation was just over eighteen minutes long because I needed a little extra time in my piriformis stretching this morning.  The hike in the rain yesterday was just what I needed I wish I could have stayed out there for hours and hours on end.  But my muscles did not like the hard exertion in the cold rain, nor the sudden heat up of a shower that came after.  So… I’m a bit sore today.

The topic of the guided part of my meditation was about techniques in hearing criticism and dealing with being confronted with anger.  It was about finding a way (in this meditation it was about identifying instead of personalizing) to not soak in what is being said.  Not allowing it to be taken personally.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Page of WandsToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is traditionally a receptive omega energy in the area of one’s passion projects, drive, and inner spark.  Like all the wands, this isn’t about emotions or intelligence, nor eve where a person’s ambitions lie.  Instead, it is about the fiery spark of passion that creates your ambition.  That burning feeling of a spark within that drives us forward.   In the light of a receptive omega energy, this is often about learning something new that strikes your interest and passion, or exploring old passions that have come back into our lives for a breath of new life.

What stands out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is the walking stick and the approaching train. The figure in this image looks either highly distracted, or possibly blind considering that the walking stick looks an awful lot like one a blind man might use.  The train has steam billowing out of its chimney indicating it is moving full speed ahead.  The tilt of the man’s head indicates confidence in their progress, and yet the train is clearly coming.

The message in today’s card is about moving forward with confidence… and caution.  You need both in order to succeed.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Moon Question: Where am I asked to listen to, or follow, my gut feeling?

Ride or Wait Tarot

I split this reading into two questions, because, at least for me? Listening to and actually following are two different things.  You can absolutely listen and decide to do things your own way while taking something else under advisement.  That is difference than actually following through on  information provided.

Where am I asked to listen to my gut feeling?

Queen of Wands and Four of Cups – Don’t allow your uncertainty over what’s going on with this holiday rush to dictate your actions and cause you to retreat into yourself. Instead lean into what you know and have experience with, and apply that to where you want to go.

Where am I asked to follow my gut feeling?

Two of Cups and Page of Swords – Learning new ways to connect with and communicate with others in a helpful way that creates unity and agreement. Expressing your emotions is not your greatest of skills, but there are other ways to build bonds and let people know that you care.

DECK USED:  RIDE OR WAIT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Cleanse This / Ground This / Release This

Druidcraft TarotCleanse – Seven of Pentacles – It’s time to declutter so that you can make sure that there is room for more sustainable long term growth. Mentally, this means keeping your expectations in check. Physically, this means pruning out a few things that are creating distraction.

Ground – Princess of Swords – Again, we look at your expectations. You need to make sure that you’re open to changes and open to new ideas, because things just can’t stay the same all of the time, no matter how much you’d like them to. Clever adaptation will serve you well.  Also, note that her feet are bare upon the ground, which is a reminder to make sure that you’re getting out to bond with nature.

Release – Four of Cups – Your lackadaisical attitude and lack of motivation to get on top of things needs to be let go. Don’t be so disenchanted by what’s not happening, but rather look for solutions and act upon them.

DECK USED:  DRUIDCRAFT TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What blessings have I or am I blinding myself to?

Tarot of the Unknown

Reading Summary: The fact that I am bombarded with new ideas all the time (Ace of Wands) is not a bad habit or a disgrace and should not be viewed as a inconvenience (The Beast), but rather it is something I need to embrace (imagery in the Six of Cups).

Take Away: Writing down ideas so I didn’t feel like I’m losing them all one after another when I can’t act on them immediately was a brilliant idea that I can credit to Gid.  But the thing is?  I can write down ideas all damned day and STILL have more to go.  And more.  And more.  I want to do them all and it sometimes messes with me that I can’t.  It used to mess with me even more as I felt super bad when I couldn’t. 

The thing is?  I need to stop looking at this constant trickle of ideas as an inconvenience just because I can’t do them all right now, or might never get to all of them.  They’re still good and just think how drab and boring it would be without them.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE UNKNOWN 1ST EDITION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I think makes a successful life?

Catharsis Tarot

Reading Summary: Trusted bonds with friends (Two of Cups) that help you through the uncertain times (The Moon), and the independence and autonomy (Chariot) to choose your own path forward (The World).

Take Away:  As much as a loner that I am most of the time?  Being alone… truly alone with no one to love or care about? Can be fucking miserable.  I don’t have this problem, and having those few people in my life that I cherish, and that cherish me in turn?  It makes life immeasurably better.

Independence and autonomy are something I feel extremely strongly about.  The ability to choose your own path and make your own decisions is important.  I really can’t imagine that a life could feel successful without this factor.

DECK USED:  CATHARSIS TAROT

Paying Attention

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magnetostrictive ultrasonic scalerToday’s meditation was about forty minutes long, and took place at the dentist’s office. I have a really difficult time at the dentist’s office due to my synesthesia. So many of the sounds that take place in that chair are unpleasant on a level that goes far beyond sound.  Some of them aren’t bad, others I don’t have  a reaction to at all.  But there are a few that really make dental work difficult and painful.

For example, the sound of the magnetostrictive ultrasonic scaler, which causes muscle spasms in my left pec which combine with a sensation of a long, thin needle piercing between two of my ribs in the back at an angle to points to exactly where that muscle spasm takes place.   For a moment, this sensation is painful but might cause a gasp before you take a breath and move on.  Over a continuous length of time, it leaves a lasting soreness that carries beyond the drawn out intensity in the moment.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is the Five of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, or conflict in the area of one’s thoughts, education, intellect, communication, or ambition.  This often comes across in the form of competition, arguments, or can communicate a determination to win no matter what.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the person in the lower left side that is crying in the background, and the fact that the helmet of the main figure in the card covers their eyes.

There is a reminder here to pay attention to what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Are you hurting people and ignoring it, or just ignorant to it?  Why are you not focusing on this aspect? What was the motivation behind whatever hurt this person?  Was there a better way to handle things?

This card’s message today is about being aware of what you’re doing, and those you affect with your actions (or inaction).

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Moon Question: How can I best work with, or work around, the current vibes?

Dark Wood Tarot

Reading Summary: Stay open to new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) and reach out and grab them by the balls when they appear to you (Chariot).  Now is not a time to stay comfortable and safe in your nest (Four of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  There’s been a good deal of warning in the cards lately about business being a bit slow this holiday season. The cards here indicate that in order to counteract that, I need to be open to the possibilities and opportunities that may arise, and jump on them immediately rather than hemming and hawing about it as I often end up doing.

DECK USED:  DARK WOOD TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is it possible to truly experience anything objectively?

Puppet Theatre TarotReading Summary:  A king on his throne sees the world as his playground (The Emperor), a couple on a beach basking in the sun sees the world as a perfect slice of heaven (The Sun), and someone with the spark of inspiration nipping at their heels sees the world as filled with potential adventures (Knight of Wands).

Take Away: The cards here indicate that it is not possible to truly experience anything with complete objectivity. We can do our best to be objective, but our emotions, our relationships, our history, and our experiences all create a foundation for which other new experiences and perceptions are built on.  There is no such thing as a “clean slate” in humanity, as emotions flavor everything we do, even for amnesiacs.

I agree.

DECK USED:  PUPPET THEATRE TAROT