Curio Tarot

Not All “New” Ideas Are Good Ideas

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a quiet non-guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches. I really just needed a little peace, and I felt that the guided meditation, or even a bit of music, would feel like a bit too much over-stimulation.

Tarot of Haunted House - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of new ideas, the beginning of educational pursuits, and ambition.

What stands out to me in this card is the position of the hand that is holding the knife. In this position, it is poised to press down and slice which indicates to me that this is a prime position for suicide.

Not all new ideas are good ideas.

When I was younger I had a whole lot of suicidal ideation. In fact… I had a whole lot of suicidal urges. It wasn’t just ideas and it wasn’t just daydreams and it wasn’t just thoughts. It was an overwhelming urge that visited me again and again, whether I was in the middle of a clinical depression or not. It was something my brain would just not let go of, a longing I couldn’t seem to release.

I’d like to say that love was the answer to this issue, but it wasn’t. Things really changed for me when Prozac came into my life in my 20s, and slowly but surely, the urges began to fade… and then the thoughts followed suit.

Now, as I’ve aged, I’ve come to realize that my life is precious. I want to live a long life, and I want to enjoy every minute of it. And when the end comes, I’m going to be sad about that. These are the realizations that came and developed over time once the suicidal ideation was finally moved out of the way.

I can’t say that the suicidal thoughts don’t come back… because they do. Prozac helps keep me balanced and level, but it doesn’t prevent the occasional major depressive episode from sneaking in. During those times the world looks a lot different and the urges to end my life come back, and I have to remind myself that the depression is only temporary and an illusion. What I’m feeling at those times is a lie.

Not all new ideas are good ideas.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Trick – What have I learned this month?

Grim Tarock

Reading Summary: This month I have learned that entertaining addictions (The Dark Lord) for too long leads to a deconstruction of stability and old values (The Tower).  But, you can counteract that with patience and moderation (Temperance) which then leads to reigning in chaos to your advantage (Nine of Citadels atop Knight of Chaos).

Take Away: This isn’t only about deck collecting, which I need to slow down on for a bit as it is a bit of a drain on the finances.  But there’s other addictions here too.  Issues with eating unhealthy foods, with retreating into myself, skipping my meditations, and not getting the time in nature and exercise I need.   All of these things boil down to the addictions and temptations that are, when allowed to go on too long unrestrained, unhealthy for me.  At the top of this list is my self destructive urge, as well, and that is also a problem as it’s what drives so many of my other bad habits and allowances towards excess.

Moderation (which I admit is not my strongest of skills) is the key to the whole mess, of course. With moderation, I can then get a reign on that chaos so ready to run out of control and bring it to heel and benefit me instead of becoming destructive.

DECK USED:  GRIM TAROCK

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Does one’s name influence the person they become?

Ludy Lescot TarotReading Summary: A name can absolutely be a factor in leading the way in one’s life (Eight of Cups), especially if someone is not secure in themselves and have stability in their life (Four of Wands). It’s something that we carry with us throughout our lives (The World). But ultimately, there is an uncountable number of factors that influence the people we become, and it’s just one of the many (Seven of Cups).

Take Away:  A person’s name can influence who they become, but it is only one in a vast number of influences that make up the whole of a person’s development, and a rather small influence at that as long as the person has a good foundation beneath their feet and a solid surroundings and home life to lean into so that such things don’t take up too much of their focus.

DECK USED:  LUDY LESCOT TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How do I nurture myself to strengthen my relationship with my Guides?

Curio Tarot

Reading Summary: Be kind with yourself (Queen of Cups), and pick a direction (Two of Wands) for your expertise to grow into (Eight of Pentacles). Keep hope alive in your head and heart, and work on your optimism (The Star).

Take Away:  Nurturing myself with kindness and working on my optimism are repeating themes in my cards, and things that I truly need repeated reminders to keep up on.  The center cards about picking a direction for my expertise to grow into is an interesting addition, and something I need to turn over in my mind for a bit.  It’s good advice, it’s just not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.  I’ve so long been a man of many skills that picking an expertise and a direction… even while making excellent sense? Feels weird to consider.

DECK USED:  CURIO TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What cards represent my spiritual best?

Da Brigh Black Tarot

Queen of Spheres – Grounded and deeply rooted within that grounding. Filled with creativity and nurturing manifestation, the need to create and bring to life those things that are only thoughts is in my soul whether it is through the growth of plants, artistic pursuits, or the creation of jewelry.

Justice – My need for balance and fairness is an integral part of my moral compass.  I know that life is not fair, but I also know that even if the only fairness in the world comes from me?  I’m going to do my best to instill a level of fairness and balance into my life and, when possible, the lives of others as well.  It is needed.

King of Swords – My knowledge is extensive and diverse, and I have the ability to inspire others to seek knowledge on what inspires their curiosity as well. Leading by example, I delve into any subject that draws my interest and my focus, and although I am willing to share that knowledge with others, I’m also very much interested in pushing others to explore on their own as well.

DECK USED:  DA BRIGH BLACK TAROT

Claiming Control

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_7119Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another guided meditation with interval timer.  The guided meditation today also included a chime which was intended to help keep the mind returning to the present and the breath.  This is because the topic of the guided meditation was just that.

That is to say, the topic was about sinking into the present and not allowing fixation with the past or the future to diminish your pleasure in the moment.  The thing is?  Most of humanity has a tendency to do just that.  To either get lost in thoughts of the past and memories, or distracted by plans for the future and daydreams.   These distractions take our mind away from the present, and make it difficult to fully enjoy all that the present has to offer.

Part of mindfulness meditation is the effort to train your mind to spend more time in the present, so that we can then carry that mindfulness of the present forward outside of meditation and into your day to day lives.

Tarot of Haunted House - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is a receptive alpha energy, personality or person in the area of one’s drive, passionate interests, enthusiasms, and willpower.  This often translates into themes that have to do with determination, confident independence, and strong figures that encourage the drive and ambitions of others.

One of the lesser known interpretations of the Queen of Wands lies in the concept of dominant sensuality, as in the blend of dominance and sensuality.   And that is what I see in the imagery of this card today.  I see a confident woman filled with strength and aware of her power and allure.   I see control in her hold on the trident of flames, and sensuality in the piano behind her (that might be just me because of my synesthesia).

The message here is about owning your power.  It’s about knowing your strengths and playing to them instead of disregarding them as useless or yourself as unworthy.  The message in this card is about making sure I know to step into tomorrow with confidence and determination, and place myself through my behavior and my inner strength in a place of power and control… thus owning that control rather than allowing my aunt to have it.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Ask your cards for something you are destined to explore or face. Draw as many cards as you see fit. Set an affirmation and conclude your reading with “… and so it is.”

Murder of Crows TarotSomething I am Destined to Explore/Face

When I look in the mirror, what do I see?  Do I see the man that I am now? Or the child I used to be?  (Six of Cups)
When I step into my entrepreneurial spark and allow it to fill my focus and time, do I carry with me the strength of the man I am?  Or do I hear my father’s cruel bark? (Ace of Wands)
Instead of listening to that voice of old, it’s time to learn a different way. I need to find the optimism I’ve lost and a way to inject joy into my work… something I had always been discourage from doing in my youth. (The Sun)

Affirmation

By collaborating with others, they bring support into the equation, and allow room to foster joy.  Let them help.  Let them provide that spark of pleasure, and allow them to give me the space I need to breathe and lighten my heart that had once been caged.   So it will be…. and thus so it is.

DECK USED:  MURDER OF CROWS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #1
Question: How can I give myself more space for my emotions, even during the busy time?

Curio TarotReading Summary: This is a learning process (The Hierophant).

The two left cards look into the past, but the wand in the center leans into the future. This speaks to me about how my lack of motivation (Four of Cups) and the desire to bump that motivation into high gear (Queen of Wands) both live in the past, but the practical advice on actually moving forward into my goals and allowing my emotions to have their own space does not lie back there, it lives in the future (tip of the wand in the Queen of Wands pointing to the right).

There is a hint of blue in the first two cards, one over the cup being ignored, and one upon the forehead of the Queen.  This blue feels like the scars my past treatment of myself have created both on my emotions (the cup) as well as my inner dialogue (Queen’s head).

The Hierophant looks into the future and leans in that direction… but his hand is palm up in the direction of the past, as if to indicate that the past needs to be held back or to be given a pause.

Take Away:  To give myself room to feel my emotions (even during the busy time) I need to leave my past in the past. This applies to my past habits, but also the treatment and events that taught me those habits in the first place.  It’s only by allowing the past to be in the past.  This isn’t about burying the past, but rather about accepting where it should live.

DECK USED:  CURIO TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How will the lesson of staying focused on balance, instead of allowing old habits of overworking to have free reign, impact my life?

Hephoe Tapo

Reading Summary: It will allow me to have more focus on my work (Eight of Pentacles) without it damaging my intuitive abilities (High Priestess Rx)… which in turn will allow me to find a more stable center (Queen of Pentacles) and move forward towards my ambitions with clarity (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  When I overwork myself, it has a habit of fizzling out a good portion of my intuitive side.   Things begin to feel unstable and I begin to feel lost and off center like I’m fumbling around drunk in the dark.

By staying focused on balance instead of allowing old work habits to rise up and take control, it gives me the opportunity to avoid being overwhelmed even while I continue with my work, allowing me to have that intuitive connection, stability, and direction that is lacking when I am flirting with burnout.

DECK USED:  HEPHOE TAPO

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How important is my spiritual altar to me?

Trionfi della Luna

Reading Summary: It’s more of a reminder of tradition (The Hierophant), than something that I use all the time (Three of Swords). But, it has its place in my journey and in keeping me grounded, as well as in making me feel that I have what I need (Nine of Coins).

Take Away:  I don’t use my altar all that often.  I mean… daily for my daily devotional, but I don’t really need an altar to do that devotional.  Aside from my devotional?  I don’t use it at all actually. My spellcraft is not done at my altar, my research and studies are not done there either, nor do my rituals take place there other than the already mentioned daily devotional.

Ultimately, it is a beautiful spot that is a soothing display of my faith and my values.  I enjoy it and the centered and grounded feeling that standing before it provides, and its beauty as well… but I wouldn’t call it necessary.

DECK USED:  TRIONFI DELLA LUNA

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Curio Tarot, Mildred Payne's Oracle of Black Enchantment, Emilie Autumn's Asylum Oracle

Earth – The Emperor, Strength, Frozen Charlottes – Make sure that you are in control “of your domain”.  Some little sneaky fucker may try to slip in and whisper sweet nothings in your ear in order to sway your attention, but don’t allow this temptation to draw you off track.  Just keep lining your soldiers up in a row as you work toward sustaining a healthy, happy, and stable home front.

Air – Two of Swords and Revenge – There are choices you’ve made and thought to have laid to rest that might rise up again over the next week. This isn’t a second chance to change your mind… you made the right decisions the first time around.  Stay the course and turn away from the waffling that the return of these issues may cause to surface in you.

Water – The Chariot and The Execution – There are consequences for lollygagging.  Make sure you have your eye on the prize this week or you may find yourself swinging at the end of a rope emotionally.

Fire – Eight of Wands and The Flying Queen – As long as you can “stay the course” of your trajectory that you’ve begun over the past week?  You have the potential to ride that momentum forward into positive and permanent change.  You’ve made this adjustment from your “old ways” of doing things a passion project.  Carry it through this week and don’t look back.

Waning – The Boot – Confidence may end up being a bit of a problem in the week ahead.  There is lots of encouragement above about staying on course, and you’re going to need that encouragement (and possibly more) as you move through this week.

Waxing – The Brooch – Speak your mind. Speak your heart.  Open up and share what needs sharing, let out what needs to be said, and allow others to better understand how you feel and what you think through sharing your words with them.  Only through the letting out of what resides inside can you breathe more easily and find relief for that tension lingering in your throat and beneath your tongue.

Take Away – There are going to be some self confidence issues over the next week, but everything in all elements of life currently require you to reach for the path you have already plotted and continue forward upon it without doubt, fear, or looking back.  Reach out to others to help you with these confidence issues, and be honest about what you are thinking and feeling, as it is the only way they will be able to help you.  Take care, though, with who you trust with your vulnerability.   This week is no time for deviation… if something looks too good to be true?  It is.

DECKS USED:  CURIO TAROT, MILDRED PAYNE’S ORACLE OF BLACK ENCHANTMENT, EMILIE AUTUMN’S ASYLUM ORACLE

Don’t Dawdle Too Long

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_6970Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  I’m sort of wondering if the additional soreness I’m feeling lately isn’t just because I skipped a couple of days of stretching, but also because I have not been going in to the sports medicine doctor for adjustments since the spring.

The topic of today’s meditation was in taking a pause when reacting and responding to others to check if you are being kind.   It focused upon the quote by Rumi that is posted in this blog post to the right.   I’ve never heard this quote by Rumi before, but I can honestly say that it’s become one of my favorites.  I work really hard to do this when I interact with others… although perhaps the “Is it necessary” gets skipped a bit more than it should.  Still, I think it is a good guideline, and something as a whole that we all need to keep in mind more often.

Tarot of Haunted House - The Hanged ManToday’s draw is the Hanged Man, which is traditionally a representation of taking a step back to mull things over or see things from a new and different perspective.  This involves letting go of your own preconceptions and opening your mind to a new view.

Although I see this in the imagery of today’s card, the card’s imagery brings up more questions than answers today.   The reason for this is that the skeleton hangs in darkness beyond an opening in a brick wall.  From that I begin to wonder just how long has that skeleton been hanging there?  How did it get there?  How was it discovered?

These questions bring me to what I feel is the message of today’s card.  That is to say, the message here is about just how long you take in that “step back” to consider other perspectives.  Yes…. making decisions requires seeing as much of the “whole picture” as possible.  But if you get so wrapped up and focused on collecting data?  Sometimes  you end up missing the opportunities presented to you.   It’s a delicate balance, making sure you don’t hang there in limbo so long that you end up walled in.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: I am in control of the path I walk by…

Curio Tarot

Reading Summary: …being generous and kind with your emotions (Queen of Cups), and not allowing your drive to be more and do better get in the way (King of Cups Rx). Instead, you need to make sure you’re taking time to rest and recover (Four of Swords) and focus on your balance (Two of Pentacles).

Note: The “to do more and be better” is more about the fact that the King of the same suit showed up beside the Queen of Cups, rather than the connotations of the suit he is in.

Take Away:  The indication here is that it is not me in control of my path when I’m allowing those inner demons to drive me on the focus of “more more more”. It’s only when I take control of my life balance, be kind to myself, and allow myself the rest and restoration I need in that I am truly in control.

DECK USED:  CURIO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I embrace positive influences carried forward from my ancestors?

The Dark Mansion TarotReading Summary: Open your eyes (Two of Swords) and look forward at your progress concerning that emotional intelligence you’ve been working on (Queen of Cups). Inspire others with your kindness to believe in you and fight for you (Queen of Cups leading up into the Seven of Wands).

Note: The Queen of Cups came up reversed, but I think it is more to the point that she is supposed to be looking to the right (and the future), rather than the fact that the card actually means it’s reversed meaning.

Take Away:  It is a conscious choice to reach for progress and embrace the lessons the Queen of Cups has to offer about your emotions and how they influence not just yourself but others as well.

For so long I have chosen to ignore my emotions and their influences. I learned this behavior from those in my past… and this new path I am on is guided by not just my desire to break the pattern but the spirit guides that are there to help guide me along the way.

DECK USED:  THE DARK MANSION TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better embrace my Spirit Guide’s message from the 6th?

Grim Tarock

Reading Summary: Sometimes in moving on from what isn’t working for you (Eight of Fish), you find something better (Ten of Citadels). Learn to accept what you’re leaving behind isn’t worth keeping, and it’s worth the sludge and slog of the journey to move forward beyond it (The Hierophant).

Obviously this reading is based off the imagery and not the suits/card names.  The “learn to” is a nod to the Hierophant’s traditional meaning, but otherwise this reading is imagery focused.

Take Away:  When you abandon what is familiar, there’s always a bit of fear involved. That’s true even when what you’re leaving behind is something that doesn’t work for you or is unhealthy for you.  It’s important, during these times, to remember that what you’re moving toward is worth slogging through all that worry and fear.  As long as you keep moving, you’ll get there.  Just don’t look back.

DECK USED:  GRIM TAROCK

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does the Sun mean to me?

The Cryptid Tarot

Reading Summary: Let’s use those swords (Eight of Swords/Averasboro Gallinipper) to make something great (Ten of Pentacles/Yowie), and let’s do it with enthusiasm (Knight of Wands/Gef the Mongoose).

Take Away:  That critter in the Eight of Swords card is probably pretty blind to just how useful those sword legs can be, but with the help of the Yowie and Gef, goth of which have a far more positive outlook going on, it’s possible to turn what appears to be a dangerous handicap into a positive boon.

This is the energy I see in the Sun, that transformative energy that can turn things around and instill a positive or optimistic spin on something perceived to be negative.

DECK USED:  THE CRYPTID TAROT