cartomancy reading

Morning Bonus Read – Responding to Change

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“The wheel of the year is tipping away from extreme and closer to balance. Explore this theme with your divination tools with some of the following questions.”

Whimsy Playing CardsWhat in my life is moving toward balance and away from an extreme at this time?

Jack of Diamonds – You are starting to get control over your negative thoughts and bring them back to center. This isn’t so much about the “bringing them back to center” part, which will happen on its own, but in taking that first step of awareness to what is going on and the conscious understanding that that negative inner narrative is your brain lying to you and not a reflection of reality.  As they say, being aware of the problem is the first step.

How is this affecting me mentally?

Six of Diamonds atop Queen of Diamonds – It is allowing kinder thoughts to have room to replace the abusive bitch in your head.  It is allowing you to be more generous with yourself and with what you are going through right now.

How is this affecting me emotionally?

King of Diamonds – It allows you to find the stability that you have been lacking, and see that there is a path forward.  You may not be able to grasp control at this time, but it gives you the ability to plan and strategize, which creates hope and allows you to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see it just yet.

How is this affecting me physically?

Four of Hearts atop Five of Clubs – You are fighting against your need for the things that could help you feel more physically well.  The opportunities to get out and hike, or spend time in nature are being rejected as the depression makes everything feel unappealing.

How can I respond in a healthy way?

Three of Spades – Ride it out.  This is what is happening right now and you know from your past experiences with it that it’s a part of life.  And temporary.  Let it happen, ride it out.

DECK USED:  WHIMSY PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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1889 Lenormand - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Book – Make sure that you know all the facts before making any important decisions this month.  With you currently in the middle of an MDE, it’s important that you look to stable and informative outside sources to ensure you are seeing the full picture and not just that one view through the grimy glass that your depression affords you.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Clouds – Remember that this is temporary.  You are well and deeply sunken into the pit of depression and it is causing a good deal of confusion but you’re doing well at keeping the overwhelm in hand. Remember that this is familiar to you.  It’s something you’ve gone through before, and something that you will get through this time as well.  The depression may be heavy, but it’s temporary.

Star Wand: What will accelerate your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Ship – Focus on the things you have invested in and in fostering their continued good health.  Don’t worry about growth, that will take care of itself.  Just keep everything afloat and let the rest go for right now.  If it’s still afloat at the end of the depression, you can then work on pushing things forward and encouraging their growth.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Bouquet – The universe is rooting for you and pushing you to find what joy you can, however you can find it.  Even little joys will help brighten up the darkness around you, so allow them in and do your best to take pleasure in them.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Anchor – Don’t forget that you have spent a long time setting yourself up for the security and stability that you now have in your life.  Things feel like they are out of control at the moment, but this is an illusion created by your mental instability, and it will pass.  The true stability  you  have created in your life is still there, and will be there waiting for you when you begin to find your way out of the darkness.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Man – It’s okay to focus on yourself right now. It’s okay to be selfish right now. It’s okay to need to put yourself first for now.  It’s needed.  Do it.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Child – You are at the bottom of the pit.  Seek out the light and the fresh air. Don’t wallow but keep reaching for the new breath and fresh openness  that is waiting for you on the other side of the darkness.

DECK USED:  1889 LENORMAND ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Negative Patterns

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“The very simplest, most basic premise of shadow work is that when our subconscious wants something different from our conscious, our conscious choices and magic are ineffective because they are being sabotaged by our unconscious. This book is pointing out that SOMETIMES (not always) when we see a repeating “negative” pattern in our lives, it is because that thing is fulfilling some subconscious desire. The only way forward is to drag that part of us out of the shadows and integrate or accept it so that we can consciously choose how to fulfill those desires instead of letting them drive our life. This is a very basic idea and there are obviously many facets to this, but this week, if you like, join me in exploring this most basic idea with one or more of these questions (or others if you so choose).”

Playing Politics 20/20 Vision Playing CardsAn area in your life with a recurring “negative” pattern.
Five of Diamonds

Scarcity issues. God fuck do I ever have scarcity issues.  It is a recurring problem in that it drives me constantly to try harder and do more, spurring my constant craving for security and stability to the point of near obsession.

What would I stand to lose if this negative pattern were to magically, suddenly disappear from my life?
Five of Spades

My fight. My push. As mentioned above, I use my scarcity issues as a motivational shove to get things done and stay on track with my plans, goals, and responsibilities.  Without those issues there to create drive, things like depressive episodes and mood swings as well as a variety of other situations and distractions would make staying focused on those goals and responsibilities nearly impossible.

What feeling does this negative pattern give me that I might, deep down, secretly enjoy?
Four of Spades

Exhaustion after a job well done. Honestly?  Burnout sucks ass, but it does occasionally create a perception of having done a lot and accomplished something.  Otherwise, why would you be so tired?

Am I experiencing pleasure in relation to the guilt I feel for having and using this negative pattern?
Seven of Clubs

Yes. I’m fighting the good fight… Or I feel like I’m fighting the good fight using this negative pattern as a weapon against laziness, failure, and distraction. It feels empowering.

If I let go of guilt about this negative pattern, What feeling would be left?
King of Clubs

More strength and security to support my business and my endeavors.  This last question was an interesting turn in perspective for me about this pattern of behavior.   So often my negative patterns and behaviors are things that I feel need to be resolved or healed.  Yet in this case, perhaps it is more about finding a balance of moderation instead.

DECK USED: PLAYING POLITICS 20/20 VISION PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Peaceful Tree

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Japanese Pattern Lenormand

Leaves: What feeds my soul?

Clouds – Challenges and struggle.  This is an odd card to see in the “feeds your soul” position until you consider the fact that it is only through challenges that we grow.  The things that create confusion and complications in life are the same things that facilitate our growth. Without them, life is stagnant and so are we.  This card is not just an answer to what feeds the soul, but a reminder to be grateful for each and every experience we have… even those that are confusing, challenging, or filled with hurdles and complications.

Branches: What direction do I need to grow?

Woman – This card recently came up in a different reading for a very similar question.  It is an indication that you need to tap into your softer side.  That sacred feminine side that everyone has within them that fosters energies of nurturing and warmth.  You spend too much time poking and prodding and shoving at yourself, pushing yourself to your limits and beyond without any mercy or kindness.  It’s time to grow in a direction that fosters a more supportive and nurturing energy in how you treat yourself as well as how you talk to yourself.

Trunk: What supports my well-being?

Clover – Over the past year you have been working really hard on injecting more positivity, optimism, and happiness into your life.  You’ve discovered that these efforts are not in vain, but assist in finding balance that allows you to continue to push toward your goals, but in far more healthy ways.  It’s important to continue this practice.  These influences created in small ways have a large impact over time, and are especially important when you are feeling your lowest and worst as they can help lift you up out of the darkness.

Roots: What anchors me in place?

Scythe – Cold hard logic. While you explore your emotions and they feel as if they are always out of control, always sliding this way and that, and always feeling just slightly outside of your understanding… cold hard logic is the anchor in the storm.  Just remember that you do not have to cut your emotions off or end your growth to use this logic to its fullest potential when an anchor is needed.

DECK USED:  JAPANESE PATTERN LENORMAND

Morning Bonus Read – Facing Reality

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In a post earlier this week, I briefly mentioned “spiritual bypassing” in the reading. I thought that today I’d do a spread on that topic.

Spiritual Bypassing is defined as a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.

Lua Lenormand - Facing Reality Tarot Spread

An aspect of reality that I’m avoiding.

Bear – Ugh… my finances. I mean it’s a good time to drop the ball, honestly, because I’m in the wake of the holiday rush, which means I have a bit of a cushion from any negative repercussions that not obsessing over my finances as usually could cause.  But still. It’s definitely an aspect of reality that I’ve been sticking my head in the sand about lately.

Why it’s important for me to stop avoiding this.

Ring – Because it’s important not to fall behind on my commitments.  I have a mortgage to keep up on and responsibilities to deal with that require me to stay on top of my finances and not let them go off on their own little way for too long without a guiding hand to keep them on track.

How I can accept this truth that I’ve been avoiding.

Book – Open up your bank website, log in, and do a little research.  Look into what’s going on and it will help you in getting your ass back into the groove it needs to be in.  Ignoring those various accounts is not going to do any good for you or your life.  Better to open your eyes and stay informed.

A way that this ties into my own spiritual bypassing.

Dog – You’re getting too comfortable.  You’re allowing your spiritual practices and methods to wrap you up in comfort and fool you into thinking “everything is okay”, instead of ensuring for yourself that all’s well and good.

A pattern of behavior I fall into during stress.

Anchor – See above in the previous answer. I pretend everything is grounded and good even when it’s not. I make others believe that all’s well when I’m actually struggling beneath the surface.

How I can become a better version of myself.

Lady – Tap into my softer side and allow it to show more often.  This card is about the sacred feminine energy that we all have within us, and allowing it to come out and be a part of the day to day rather than “sucking it up” and, in my father’s words, pushing myself to “be a man”.  Yuck

DECK USED:  LUA LENORMAD

Morning Bonus Read – Authority Issues

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I had to adjust this topic a bit (the original prompt is at the end of this post), as I do not have the urge to look to external sources of authority to tell me what to do. In fact, I have authority and control issues that cause me to rebel against such controlling behavior from other parties. The prompt mentioned that there are so many external authorities that there is a struggle in knowing who to listen to, etc. I have very few “authorities” over my actions… in fact even my employers are more collaborators than any form of authority figures.

SO… for this prompt. I am going to use the one single authority figure that -is- a part of my life, and with whom I have found a balance between authority and independence that works. That would be my partner, Gideon.

Cabinetarium Playing CardsWhere in my life do I benefit most from having an authority figure in my life?

Six of Spades atop Four of Diamonds – In helping me stay grounded and away from those things that are most harmful to me. I am self-destructive. Those tendencies sometimes rise up and whisper insidiously in my ear at the worst of times. Gideon is there in those times to help me stay on the right path, and does so in a way that doesn’t make me feel the searing sting of rebellion… such as when he made the request that I stop drinking.

Where could I use a better balance between his authority influences and my own need for independence?

Seven of Hearts – In my struggles to find balance and harmony by making the best choices for myself that I can. I need to consult with him more during these times when I am confronting these choices and get his input.  Not so much to give him the choice instead of me making it, but to make sure that I have his perspective and input on what the best choices available to me are.

How can I begin establishing that better balance?

Three of Clubs – Work more closely with him and I will be heading in the right direction.  I understood this from the card that previously came out concerning balance and his input. I need that input.  Sometimes? I really suck at turning to him when I need to.  It’s stupid and a part of those self destructive tendencies.

Why do I need this outside authoritative energy in my life?

Three of Diamonds – To counteract the poisonous influences of my upbringing by providing me with support.  It’s something I can’t do alone but needs to be worked on together.

How does this authority figure in my life influence my self-care?

Queen of Spades – He works with me and supports my self care goals by being “all in” with helping me to make them happen. He does not lord over me but works with me so I do not get my back up and rebel against that authority, making that authority less offensive in his approach.

DECK USED:  CABINETARIUM PLAYING CARDS

Original Diviner’s Den Prompt: This week it was brought to my attention that I have trouble trusting myself to make good self care decisions– I tend to try to find some kind of external authority to validate my decisions on how much I should work, eat, rest, exercise, etc. The problem with this is that… There are SO MANY external authorities. This may not be an issue for you– if not, feel free to ignore or adjust this topic as necessary. But I know I’m not alone in this— if you would like, join me in my shadow work this week around this topic.
-Who/what do I look to as an authority on my daily choices (food, exercise, rest, worries, self care, etc)?
-Is there a healthier place to look to for those choices?
-What resources would I need in order to better trust myself to make self care decisions?
-This week, what is one self care choice I can trust myself to make well?