Willpower and Resourcefulness

IMG_6221Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a yoga nidra meditation with interval timer. It was a guided meditation, and based on moving one’s consciousness and awareness through the body slowly starting at the head and moving to the toes.  At each part of the body you stop and pause, acknowledge the sensations present and breathe into that area, then exhale and move on to the next. 

I’ve mentioned before that nidra meditations are my absolute favorite.  I love the amount of relaxation I can get from following the process from one part of the body to another in this manner.

The actual focus of the nidra in this particular guided meditation had to do with acknowledgement of sensation.  Sometimes, when we are looking for sensation, we forget about all the sensations we’re experiencing.  It’s easy, when say… focused on your arm.  To focus there and say “no, I don’t feel anything” because the muscle isn’t sore and there’s no pain or discomfort.  But that doesn’t mean that sensation it’s present.  There’s the sensation of cloth touching flesh, of air currents on skin, etc.  These are also just as much sensation as a tickle, pinch, or pain.  

The key being that when we let go of the expectation of what we should be looking for or are supposed to feel, it frees us up to experiencing what’s actually there in the moment.

Botan Tarot - The MagicianToday’s draw is the Magician, which is traditionally a representation of having all the “tools”, skills, abilities, and knowledge to do what needs doing.  The Magician is knowledgeable, resourceful, and capable, and it is these energies and qualities that are brought into play when this card makes an appearance.

What really stands out to me this card is that keen gaze.  You would think that it would be the tattoos that draw my eyes, and yet that is not where my gaze is drawn when I see this card today.  It’s all about the eyes. They feel clever and cunning and knowledgeable, grounded.  Prepared.  He is the Eagle Scout of the tattoo’d hotties, looking out at me as if to say “you know the answer”.

And that’s the message in today’s card.  I know the answer.  **I** am capable, knowledgeable, grounded, resourceful, and clever.  **I** am more than able to take on the world and bend it to my will, or adapt as needed when bending things my way is not an option.  Today’s card is a reminder that I am a strong and fully capable man more than able to handle what may come.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question
: How do I accept life more fully?

Lonely Dreamer Tarot

Reading Summary: Worries and anxieties (Nine of Swords) are blocking your path and holding you back (Nine of Wands). Make the choice (Two of Swords) to overcome (Yellow in Two of Swords) pessimism instead of giving into it (Five of Cups).

Take Away: The cards here make it clear that the worries and anxieties that are blocking my path and stirring up my pessimistic side are something I have a choice about.  This is not an uncontrollable situation and I need to (as readings prior to this have also indicated over the past week) make sure I am making the conscious decision to lean into optimism and positive thought rather than sinking into the habitual pessimism that is my regular tendency.

DECK USED:  LONELY DREAMER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Do Spread #1
 How can I create a greater feeling of contentment in my life?

Tarot LeavesReading Summary: Make sure you’re paying attention (Two of Swords) to your inner dialogue (Ace of Swords) and choose a nurturing approach (Empress) rather than a sharp one (Sword imagery in the Ace).

Although leaf shape between the Ace and Two of Swords is very similar and connects these two cards, it is the blues that blend through the three cards, purifying and darkening as they go from the Ace of Swords through the Empress that really catches my eye.

The purity of the blue in the Empress card indicates to me that it is the key player in this spread, ranked in importance above the muffled colors in the Two of Swords and the impure greenish tinge of the blue in the Ace of Swords. Just as that color dynamic speaks to me of a leaning toward the Empress, putting weight upon her importance in these cards, the impression is further reinforced by the purity of the green in the Empress which (like the blues) holds weight in the spread over the more muddled greens in the Ace of Swords.

The red ribbon in the Two of Swords is a splash of color that catches the eye and holds its own weight as it corresponds to the woman’s blindfold, indicating that this card is not about choice in this instance, but about being blinded and not paying attention.

Take Away: I am notoriously hard on myself and that is what the cards are calling me out on in this reading.  In order to create a greater feeling of contentment in my life, I need to be paying close attention to my inner dialog and course correcting any negativity and unpleasant pessimism into a more nurturing vein of encouragement.

DECK USED:  TAROT LEAVES

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question
: How/What am I currently contributing to my culture, social space, or direct environment?

The Painted Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m generous with my time (Seven of Pentacles), my ear, and my support (Queen of Cups) when others are feeling uncertain or lost (Moon).

Take Away: I contribute to my social space and direct environment by giving of myself.  This includes not just my time but also my support.  I make space for others who are feeling confused or uncertain, providing them with an ear to listen to what they need to get out and try to cast a healing light to help keep that darkness they are experiencing in check.

DECK USED:  THE PAINTED TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me bulletproof?

Brady Tarot 2nd Edition

Ace of Arrows (Truth) – I demand truth, and I “speak” it in turn. It’s not worth it to waste my time on lies and half truths, and  I do not expect to be coddled or pandered to by others. Instead, I would rather know the whole truth up front so that if it is unpleasant I can deal with the fall out and quickly move on from that to other important matters.

High Priestess – My intuition and moral compass.  I am lead by them and I follow them without question, depending upon what they say as absolute truth. I trustingly move to the beat of their drum because I understand that they are whispering secrets in my ear and telling me things I need to know, providing guidance to my benefit, and providing information that would otherwise be beyond my ken.

Mother of Feathers – I like to help others when I can and I give good advice, and have absolutely no trouble admitting I’m wrong when it happens, especially if it is going to give me the opportunity to learn from my mistake. Sometimes I can have a “sharp tongue”, but there is a reason for this when it happens, as it creates a succinct punctuation to my words that catch one’s attention in the way a gentler approach can’t always do.

DECK USED:  BRADY TAROT 2ND EDITION

Slow Burn, Not a Flash Fire

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the bath tub.  It was so… so comfortable but at least I didn’t fall asleep this time.  I very much enjoyed the relaxation in the water for once, though.   Usually I find the tub just uncomfortable enough that I can’t meditate, but today?  It was just right and super comfortable.   Interestingly?  I also find it harder to stay awake as the water gets cooler.  When it’s really warm?  I’m wide awake, but the closer it gets to lukewarm? The more dozy I become.

Botan Tarot - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of controlled progress, and the willpower and determination to go in the direction you want to go in and see things through.

These cards (the Botan Tarot) are so damned beautiful and what stands out to me the strongest in this card today is the hint of wings present in the background behind the figure that is holding the reigns.

What these wings do for me is soften the card.  I often find the Chariot card quite harsh, and yet in this imagery I see willpower tempered by compassion, determination with a touch of restraint, as the wings are spread and thus they are catching air and creating drag. If this card were in motion, I would imagine those wings would not just catch the air but feel as if they billow with it as feathers flutter in the swirling eddies of air currents.

The message here is that it’s all well and good to know where you want to go and have the willpower and determination to get you there, but it’s important to remember that sometimes? Getting there takes time.  Not because you’re forced to go slow, but because you choose to slow down to savor the journey rather than focusing on the end goal alone.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question
: What needs healing on my root chakra? (Deals with energy, stability, comfort, and safety.)

Wiener Secession TarotReading Summary:  I need to work on finding a deeper level of inner certainty (High Priestess) even in times when my life is in a state of flux (The Wheel).   The Queen of Clubs looks on at this message as if to say that by finding this inner certainty I can then flourish more fully in the endeavors that keep my spark aflame.

Take Away:  Unfortunately, outer uncertainty in my life breeds inner uncertainties about myself. That means that when things go wrong?  I don’t just start blaming myself, but also doubting myself.

That inner uncertainty about myself then creates a lack of motivation that keeps at bay the energy of the Queen’s nurturing of my inner spark. This is where a good part of my moments of “meh” come from, and when I feel those moments, I need to take time to observe where the uncertainty in my life lies in that moment, and explore how its influencing my confidence as well as my motivation.

DECK USED:  WIENER SECESSION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Create / Evoke / Balance

Cosmic Tribe TarotCreateFive of Cups – Burnt offerings in a sea of salt. Its time to make more eggshell powder.  The last batch that Id made has lasted for quite some time, but I’ve been needing to make more for a while and keep putting it off.  I should get it done before things become so busy that it has to be put off until the New Year.

EvokeTwo of Wands – I get absolutely no intuitive hit off of the imagery in this card.  So, going by the bare bones of the RWS system… it’s time to start planning for the holiday season.  I’ve been putting it off, to be honest.  Dragging my feet and trying to just… I dunno.  Deny it’s coming?  But the fact is that it is coming, and I’m going to have to get on the ball and get my direction not just meticulously planned out but set in motion.  You can’t get moving until you start get moving.

BalanceNine of Cups – You know that phrase “too much of a good thing”?  Well that goes for everything, including emotional fulfillment and happy feelings.  It’s important to make sure I’m not pushing myself to the point of insincerity.  Working to see the bright side and lean into optimism is one thing, but to the point where it’s fake and just a load of shit?  Too much.  Pay attention to my emotions and how I’m feeling, and be honest with myself about that even when it’d be easier to just put on a happy face and keep moving.

Side Note About This Deck – It’s gotta go.  I don’t get good vibes from the artwork at all.  I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it, but it’s definitely not for me. This is my first reading with this deck, which was added to my collection very recently…. and it’ll be my last.  It just doesn’t feel right.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TRIBE TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question
: A reminder of my personal wealth or personal blessing.

Tarot of the Secret Forest

Reading Summary: The ability to sit out (Eight of Cups) on the battles I need to (Strength Rx) and support others instead instead of engaging (Queen of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I have gotten the message “choose your battles wisely” more than once from the cards over the past week. And here again is that reminder, as the personal blessing that this reading speaks about is my ability to choose my battles.

A lot of times, the battles we fight are not our own, and that is true in my case as well.  There is an encouragement here that it’s okay to not get involved in other’s battles, and to support others from the sidelines instead of diving into the battle myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SECRET FOREST

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I build my confidence?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Take time (Temperance) to really explore in depth (Page of Swords) the opportunities available to me (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I’m missing something.   Not in this reading.  I mean that the cards are indicating that I’m missing some key factor in the opportunities currently available to me that could ease my discomfort with uncertainty and boost my confidence.

It’s time to take stock and make some decisions on what I want to happen and where I want things to go.  I always feel better when I have a direction, but on top of that I need to also find a way to become more comfortable with uncertainty.  This was also mentioned in an earlier reading today and has carried over into this one.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT