Art Nouveau Tarot c. 1989

Don’t Be a Sad Sack

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I took a break from… well, pretty much everything for a couple of days. So I have nothing to say here other than I’m getting back on track now (Sunday September 27th).   I -did- meditate yesterday… but honestly?  I can’t remember a thing about it other than the fact that I did it.

Botan Tarot - Five of CupsToday’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of disappointments, regrets, and all around an attitude of apathy and/or pessimism. 

Honestly?  Talk about calling my ass out right?  Because I’ve been a cranky ass sad sack motherf’k’r for the past few days.   I know it’s the drop and I get that, but jesus I’m just a mess and it’s definitely showing.

The message in today’s card is about looking beyond the crap that’s dragging you down. It’s about gratitude and appreciation for that beautiful stack of four unbroken cups behind the one broken one that has snagged your attention.

An echo from my earlier bonus reading this morning… today’s message is about not allowing yourself to sink into negative emotions and thoughts.  Feel them, and then move beyond them to appreciate what you have that is good and positive and makes you happy.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: How to better connect with my intuition?

Tarot of Reincarnation

Reading Summary:  Decisive action to make things better (Eight of Hearts), trust in the tools at your disposal (Magician), and release of the certainties that are not serving me (Tower).

Take Away:  This is about the balance I seek between my emotional balance and my work balance for the busy season ahead.  The cards here are telling me to let go of the feelings and certainty I have about that I have to choose one or the other.  I have all of the tools at my disposal to allow myself to adapt and move forward into a better future. 

The reading here is about trust.  Trust that I’m on the right path.  Trust in my intuition and its messages.  It’s about not allowing my fears and uncertainties to cloud my intuition’s voice. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF REINCARNATION

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is something new I should try?

Archeon TarotReading Summary: Stop being such a sad sack (Five of Cups).  Take control of your inner narrative (King of Swords) and turn that shit around into positive progress (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  There is a reason that this is “something new” to try.  It’s because that negative depression and pessimistic voice in my head is familiar and… that familiarity is comfortable even if it is not good for me.  Familiarity and comfort, in this instance, is the opposite of good for me and thus, the “something new” to try is both good for me and uncomfortable… but needs to be done.

That something new?  Is taking control of my inner narrative rather than allowing myself to sink into it.  The Knight of Pentacles says that in this being something unfamiliar, it might take a little time and practice to get it right… but it’s still good progress, no matter how uncomfortable or how long it takes.

DECK USED:  ARCHEON TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How have those who I surround myself with by choice contributed to my personal journey and values?

Art Nouveau Tarot c. 1989

Reading Summary: They have taught me to be more careful in what I say and how I say it (Three of Swords atop King of Swords Rx) when in the middle of speaking on those things I believe in (Seven of Staves), which creates a far more stable and strong foundation with which to approach from (King of Staves).

Take Away:  One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from those that I choose to surround myself with is how to communicate better with others. Communication, for me, often feels like a field full of landmines that I need to cross to get to the other side. Each word a footstep with the potential to blow up in my face.

As I’ve gotten older, those around me have helped me in learning how to present and discuss things in ways that are less confrontational or aggressive, which helps a lot in my communication with others in all aspects of my life.

DECK USED:  ART NOUVEAU TAROT c. 1989

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I stop taking criticism personally?

Samiramay Tarot

Reading Summary: Take control of your reactions through willpower (The Chariot). Don’t be so quick to jump to a pessimistic interpretation (Five of Cups) that ends up hurting my feelings (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  This is about slowing down and making sure that I’m looking at things from a more impersonal “out of my own shoes” view.  I need to remember that criticism also has an opportunity within it for improvement in most cases.  So instead of allowing criticism to strike at my heart with words, I need to look instead at what benefits and positive messages I can take from the criticism being given.

DECK USED:  SAMIRAMAY TAROT

Be a Hero, Not a Villain

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IMG_6396Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another guided meditation with interval timer.  I’ve decided that the guided meditations definitely have a place in my meditation practice.  Although the non-guided meditations are nice, these guided ones sometimes allow me to relax a bit more fully and can assist in keeping my mind from wandering.

The also give me a little something to think about now and then.  Not that they are all gems, but there are definitely a few diamonds in the mix.

Today’s message was about choosing your battles.  There are things you can change, and things that you can’t change.  The moral of the story for today’s guided meditation was to make sure that you are choosing the battles you have a chance of winning… instead of railing uselessly against the rain.

Botan Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is is the Five of Swords, which is a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s mind, intellect, and communication. This often comes into play in the form of disagreements, arguments, misunderstandings, and debates.

What stands out to me in this card today is the look on that pheasant’s face.  I mean I know that pheasants can’t really show expressions but he sure is looking pretty damned cocky, yeah?  Cocky to the extend that it actually appears a bit snide to me.

That’s the thing about winning tho, right?  Sometimes when you win? It’s hard not to look back with that snide moment of triumph. It can be hard not to kick’em when they’re down.

The message here is that when that opportunity arises?  Rise above it. You’re better than that.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What’s one of my super powers?

English Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Learning what makes people tick and how to motivate them (Page of Swords) helps me build on my emotional knowledge (Page of Cups) and grow into a better person (Queen of Cups)… Even if that growth is somewhat slow in the making (Page of Coins into King of Cups).

Take Away:  Although emotions are not my strong suit, my ability to reason through people’s reactions is. Using this ability in a way allows me an entry point into understanding both my own emotions as well as other’s… which in turn assists me in my own growth.

DECK USED:  ENGLISH MAGIC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: The Problem / The Lesson to Learn / Advice to Help You Through

Art Nouveau Tarot c 1989The Problem – Eight of Cups – Giving up too quickly or feeling the desire to walk away too easily and too soon. This is bred from my need to step aside when I become irritated or frustrated. Especially in the area of people.

The Lesson to Learn – The Fool Rx – Grow up.  It can’t always be about you and what you want.  Sometimes you have to do shit just because it’s the responsible thing to do, whether you like it or not.

Advice to Help You Through – Ten of Cups – It’s important to remember just how ‘well off’ you are in your own life and appreciate that.  It gives you the luxury to behave in the ways written above without a lot of consequence, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a consequence on the other side of the table where a person’s cup is perhaps not as full as your own.

Take Away – I need to be more patient and understanding of others.  Not everyone can motivate as quickly as I can, or think as fast as I can, or come up with the right words as quickly as I can.  Instead of getting impatient and cranky, I need to make sure I’m practicing patience and understanding, and keep in mind that not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

DECK USED:  ART NOUVEAU TAROT c.1989

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How am I asked to deal with areas in my life that currently feel like too much of a grind?

20th Century Tarot

Reading Summary: Suck it up buttercup (Five of Cups) and get your ass in gear (Eight of Wands). Just make sure you’re practicing moderation (Temperance) and making good decisions (Two of Swords).

Take Away: The thing is?  Whether it feels like a grind or not?  You can’t put off and avoid these things forever.  They’re a part of life and sooner or later you have to suck it up and do them.  That’s just a part of being an adult.   So is making sure that when you do them, you don’t overdo it and send yourself into burn out.   Making good decisions about how you work and when is  just as important as the work itself that needs to be done.

DECK USED: 20TH CENTURY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What can I do about the fear of being wrong?

Lonely Dreamer Tarot

Reading Summary:  Explore more (Page of Wands) and accept that sometimes it’s going to happen (Five of Pentacles).  Learn from it (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  You need to use these as opportunities to further your education and knowledge instead of hurdles in your way.  Being wrong can suck and feel really bad, but that doesn’t mean it’s something to fear or avoid.  Instead it’s an opportunity for growth, as long as you’re willing to take it that way.

DECK USED:  LONELY DREAMER TAROT

Puzzle Pieces

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IMG_6276Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and another one of the guided meditations with added interval timer to help me know when I need to change positions in my piriformis stretching.

The guided meditation topic for today’s meditation was mindful eating and spoke about how lots of people have food issues from overeating to underrating for a variety of reasons including emotional issues, scarcity issues, etc. I personally have my own issues with food, although in my case it’s about not being able to balance out my metabolism and nutritional needs. This means that I eat a -lot- of food, and considering my addictive personality issues?  It’s probably a good thing that I need to.

That said, the topic of the meditation was that we need to take more time to really sink into and enjoy our food, focusing on the flavors and textures and satiation aspect available in every bite. I do this quite often, but not all the time. I think everyone does a little “mindless eating” now and then and that it’s natural, although I can see how being more mindful of the food put into your mouth could possibly turn around some food related issues.

Botan Tarot - Two of CupsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unions, duality, and partnerships in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, and creativity.  This often comes across as harmonious attractions and themes of mutual attraction, although not always in a romantic manner.

Like most of the other cards that I’ve pulled from this deck so far this month, it isn’t any one specific element in the imagery that catches my attention.  Instead this deck seems to communicate most strongly to me through color and composition.

What I see in this imagery today is harmonious flow.  Sometimes, harmony isn’t about equality, nor is it about balance.  Sometimes it’s about working together and allowing each other’s differences to compliment each other and support each other.

It’s us.  You and me.  We are so very different, and yet together we are more than we could ever be apart.  We support each other, and we provide something each of the other of us doesn’t have.  It’s our differences that create the perfect fit and harmonious union that we have with each other.

I love you.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my sacral chakra?

English Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Libido fluctuations (imagery in Temperance) weighing heavily (Two of Coins) and creating repressed feelings of responsibility and failure (Knight of Cups Rx).

Side Note:  I was actually starting to wonder if I’d be able to read this deck.  It’s communication is a bit different than what I’ve encountered in the past and I’m struggling with it a bit.  I’ve used it in a few readings thus far, but tossed out the readings because they weren’t “flowing” with my intuition.

Take Away: I need to work at not considering my libido fluctuation as an actual failing on my part. It hasn’t been the same since the cancer and my RPLND, and I get it.  I get that all of that changed things, but I feel so fucking guilty about it having changed and like I’m not giving enough anymore.

I know that our relationship is so much more than just sex… but  sometimes I feel like such a fucking failure in this area.

DECK USED:  ENGLISH MAGIC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me feel… Excited / Happy / Calm

Science TarotWhat makes me feel excited?
Queen of Pentacles

Creation.  Manifestation.  Giving birth to something new.  An idea that is then brought into the real world.  This excites me.  Sometimes my ideas never make it to reality, other times they will eventually but have to be put on the back burner a while first.   But when my creative ideas really do get to be brought forward, worked on, and developed into something real and tangible instead of just concept and thought?   That excites me, no matter how many times it happens.

What makes me feel happy?
Judgement

It makes me happy to know that I’m on the right path.  Knowing that my intuition and moral compass are taking me in the right direction for me, and helping me to not just survive but thrive from one day to the next.  Even when I don’t do things how everyone else does, even when I often see things differently, or process things differently… in the end, my intuition and moral compass continue to steer me right and keep me on track and flourishing.

What makes me feel calm?
Two of Cups

This completely relates back to my COTD pull for today, which is to say… what makes me feel calm is Gideon.  Not just Gideon, but the fact that he is so very different than I am, so I know that I can go to him for whatever I need, whether that be perspective, support, or even validation.  He is the “missing piece” that helps me find my balance when I’m feeling off kilter.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I inspire others?

Archeon Tarot

Reading Summary: In times of uncertainty (The Moon) I inspire others to see what is good in their life (Nine of Pentacles) and to go after their heart’s desires (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  This is something that I really enjoy in life.  It brings me great pleasure to help people work through the shadows of uncertainty and clouded darkness of one’s illusions of pessimism to see that there really is value in their life and they are worth the motivation and effort needed to obtain their dreams. It’s a part of that pleasure that I take in helping others find the path that works for them.  I very much hope that what the cards say here is true.  

DECK USED:  ARCHEON TAROT

Compassion

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Today’s meditation was was ten minutes long and one of the harp strings meditations with interval timer.   It was very relaxing, even if my piriformis stretches were pretty painful throughout the process. This is not a surprise as my physiotherapy / yoga practice is as well at the moment.  I’m paying the price of not going in to the chiro / sports medicine doc regularly.

Botan Tarot - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of an authority figure or leadership.  This card is about  the responsibility and steady control as one makes decisions for the greater good.

Sometimes, when making decisions for the greater good, we have to disregard our own wishes and desires.  It sucks, but that’s what being the responsible party is all about.  It’s about working towards the well being of all instead of the individual.   This is the message that stands out to me today in the imagery of this card.  The man in the picture is weathered and tough, but his eyes hold a hint of kindness as well.   Strength tempered by compassion.

And whether you lead or follow, whether you’re the man on top of the mountain, or just one of the grunts climbing the hill?  We all have strengths.  The important thing is that we wield those strengths with compassion.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: Where do I shine?

Art Nouveau Tarot c. 1989

Reading Summary:  Reevaluation (Four of Cups) of my strategies (Seven of Swords) when things change or go awry (The Wheel).

Take Away:  This is about adaptability, and making things up “on the fly” in order to keep moving even when roadblocks try to trip me up. The thing is, I don’t see anything in life as a real “road block” but more a challenge.  Stopping is not an option because life just doesn’t work that way, so it’s important to be able to adapt and adjust and keep moving, even when it feels like you’ve reached the end of the road. 

DECK USED:  ART NOUVEAU TAROT c.1989

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What are the 3 major strengths of humanity?

WilderWoven TarotTwo of Swords – Free Will – Humanity has the ability to make choices, to exercise free will upon themselves and their situation.  Although sometimes our choices are not always appealing, there are always choices open to us. We are able to dream our dreams, and make choices based upon what we want out of life.

The Emperor – Autonomy – With free will comes the autonomy to create out own fate and move forward in the direction we choose. Sometimes we must make a round-about path to get there, but ultimately we choose for ourselves where we are going on our path.

The Devil – Transcendence –   Which then leads us the ability to transcend.  This is not about “spiritual transcendence” to a new level of consciousness, but rather the ability to pull ourselves out of bad situations through our free will and autonomy and into a different situation or better place either mentally or physically.

DECK USED:  WILDERWOVEN TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: What is my biggest strength (or personal superpower)?

Hardy Tarot

Reading Summary:  Potential growth (Ace of Disks) through nurturing (Queen of Cups) and recuperation (Four of Swords).

Take Away:  As much as I struggle with giving myself the nurturing warmth and rest that I need, the fact is that I am able to physically bounce back rather quickly when I do fulfill those needs. After multiple car accidents, and more injuries than I can count throughout the three decades of my life so far,  my recoveries have always been impressively quick, and even more so if  I  allow myself the self love and recuperation needed during those times of healing.

DECK USED:  HARDY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I appreciate all of my talents?

El Goliath Tarot 2nd Edition

Reading Summary: Remember how much you have overcome (Starseed atop Five of Pentacles), and where you come from as well as how much you have grown along the way (King of Swords atop Page of Swords).  Take care to act sans impulsivity (Knight of Swords).

Take Away: Impulsive action is not my friend and in order to appreciate my talents, I need to use them in ways that support my growth and keep me moving forward.  That requires both forethought, as well as trust in my moral compass to lead me forward in a positive direction.

DECK USED:  EL GOLIATH TAROT