#2021januarypower

Battening Down the Hatches

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IMG_8568Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching. 

The topic of today’s meditation was about gratitude and love, and how getting in touch with those emotions can create a sense of peace and calm when one is stuck in moments of chaotic thought or dealing with sensory overwhelm.

This is an interesting approach, as usually when I am feeling chaotic and overwhelmed, I pause to take a deep breath, or even a moment’s calm meditation… but I’ve never thought of really bringing in gratitude into the practice.  This is definitely something I’m going to need to try the next time I need to calm down from chaotic moments.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Nine of WandsToday’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of “standing guard” over what is important to you, setting strong boundaries, and having the courage and resilience to stand strong when one is being tested.

I think that I’m going to need to read the book for this deck in order to help me reconcile some of the artwork in the deck with the specific tarot cards that the imagery is placed on. I struggled a bit with the Ace of Cups… and this one, as well. I think that it will help to at least skim through the book in order to get a better feel of where the artist is going in connecting artwork to the cards.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card today, though, does actually fit with the traditional meaning of the Nine of Wands.  It is in the expression on the features of the figure among the leaves.  It’s an expression of determination that says “I will not stand down, and I will not falter”.

I guess that it is because he is “of the green” that I’m thrown off by the imagery here in contrast to the traditional meaning.  Which is fine, and usually doesn’t bother me but for some reason, in this deck, I feel the need for them to connect and make sense.

The message in today’s card is to remember what you’re “fighting for”.  What is it that’s important to you?  Are you taking the precautions and steps necessary to keep those things and people safe?  It’s time to examine what you’re doing in this area and ensure everything is where it needs to be.  (It’s also a reminder to renew my Nest subscription.)

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you feel you deserve?

5 Cent Tarot 2nd EditionReading Summary: *Wincing as the cards go all ugly as they echo the negative inner narrative in his head.*

The more “in charge” I strive to be (The Emperor), the more anxiety and worry (Nine of Needles) I deserve to have clouding my judgement (Ace of Needles Rx) and creating confusion which keeps me frozen in indecision (Two of Needles Rx).

Take Away: Failure. Specifically, failure bred through my own ineptitude. 

I knew that in doing this reading there was a risk my negative inner voice would be given a loud speaker, but… damn.  I wasn’t really expecting it to be quite so ugly. Not that I’m not aware how ugly it can be but, I feel… exposed.

DECK USED:  5 CENT TAROT 2ND EDITION

Small Things Matter

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IMG_8547Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretches. I’m giving my forearms a couple of days break from the stretching in the hopes it will help me in getting the muscles to release a bit with more massaging and hot/cold treatments instead.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about that beat of a pause that being more mindful can give you in which to make good decisions.  It’s that moment of “thinking before you speak” or making a smart decision rather than an instant reaction.

People always think that this slight pause is “too long” in situations where it’s needed most, but I’ve found that that moment… especially in the middle of chaos or a moment of surprise, is when it’s most essential.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - The StarToday’s draw is the Star card, which is traditionally a representation of the inter-connectivity of the physical world and spirituality, as well as themes that have to do with hope, optimism, and success.

There isn’t any one single thing that stands out to me the strongest in this card, but rather it is an interplay of different elements from the water the figure is knee deep within to the crystals on the shore, the crane in the reeds, and the fiery cool glow of the stars above.

I think this card is breathtaking.  But then, I think that most of the cards in this deck are breathtaking.

What I see here is how everything is interconnected.  Everything feeds off each other and supports each other. Everything is connected in one way or another, and so those little things you do for self care?  They count, because they connect into the whole.  It is like the difference in my resting heart rate when I do my meditation regularly compared to when I don’t.   Ten minutes a day doing a self care thing that’s as simple as lying down and doing some breathing exercises while I focus inward… and my resting heart rate improves significantly… all day, every day.

The message in today’s card is that the small things matter. Self care, generosity to others, gratitude…. all of these things don’t need to be done in big showy actions or endeavors.  The small things are just as important, if not more so.  Do the small things and don’t worry so much about the big ones.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is it always better to have more choices?

Ink Witch TarotReading Summary: Good things are given the room to begin (Ace of Cups) when you’re willing to let go of where you’re at and leave behind what isn’t working (Six of Swords), and build something new out of the ashes (The Tower).

Take Away: Yes, it’s always better to have more choices. But… only if you’re willing to be smart about how you make your choices, and accept that sometimes the best choice may involve deconstructing everything and starting over.

In my experience and observation, that is where most people get tripped up when they have what they feel are “too many choices” before them.  They know that the best and healthiest choice is the one that’s the most scary, so they try to choose something else instead, just to avoid that pain, fear, discomfort, or inconvenience that making the truly healthy choice would mean going through.  I am also guilty of this.

DECK USED:  INK WITCH TAROT

One on One

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IMG_8536Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

I honestly don’t really remember the topic of the meditation, although I have the sense that I enjoyed it and that something “clicked” with it at the time. Unfortunately it seems that whatever that message was, I’ve either forgot it… or absorbed it and it’s been assimilated into the miasma of my brain already and is no longer an individual.

Tarot of the Hidden Realm - StrengthToday’s draw is the Strength card, which is traditionally a representation of inner strength and courage, as well as having “sway” over others either through compassion, compulsion, or persuasion.

I personally love it when decks use personally familiar animals in their representations for certain cards, and the Strength card is definitely one of those. I have no real familiarity (other than academic) when it comes to lions, whereas using a wolf (as this card did) or a bear (as some others do) is far more familiar to me and something I enjoy a great deal.

For that reason, it’s the wolf that sticks out the strongest to me in this card today, I’m sure.  The woman behind the wolf is secondary, and yet by looking to the wolf and its physical cues, it draws your eyes to her as well for she is not just close, but holds a similar posture.  She appears to be on the same level with the wolf, and the wolf not just in physical position, but also in comfort levels, and as a result the wolf is calm in her presence instead of on the defensive.

Today’s card is a reminder that it’s important to approach people on their level. There will always be times when you will be certain you are correct, or smarter, or better at something.  But when we project those feelings of superiority upon our interactions with another, we become unapproachable as a result and we put other’s backs up, causing a break in the bridge between you and the other person where defensiveness can sneak in and screw up the conversation.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you take too seriously? Why?

Student Tarot v2 Stained GlassEight of Swords:  I take too seriously those things that I try to hide from instead of confront head on (Eight of Swords). This encompasses a good number of things from qualities in myself that I consider to be flaws, to that negative inner narrative. The thing is? When I try to ignore these things instead of dealing with them, it gives them time to strengthen and grow. I just started to learn this just this past year, and have begun trying to deal with these things instead of ignoring them as I have in the past. I still give them far too much weight.

Empress atop Knight of Swords: I take these things too seriously because I have not yet learned how to nurture myself while going after my goals and ambitions.

Seven of Cups: I always feel like I have to make a choice. A choice between being kind to myself or working hard. A choice between self care or my passions and drive. The Empress at the top of everything indicates that this is not a choice but rather an integration.  I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet… but I’m working on it.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v2 STAINED GLASS EDITION

Purefield.Healing’s Taking My Power Back Challenge Prompt
Question: To me, what does it mean to be powerless?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Reading Summary: Being forced to leave comfort and security (Nine of Pentacles) for new horizons (Eight of Cups) where others lead the way forward (Ace of Cups) through whims and manipulation (Three of Cups).

Take Away:  Powerlessness in the face of popularity. I see true powerlessness as being susceptible to peer pressure. The abandonment of one’s own individuality in yielding to the pressures, expectations, and emotional manipulations and machinations of others. 

This answer from the cards was a bit of a surprise.  Not that it isn’t true, but it was not what I was anticipating would come up when I pulled cards for this question. The thing is tho?  I do deeply feel that susceptibility to peer pressure (in its many forms) is a huge weakness. It’s something I help people with in small ways nearly every time I interact with others. I try to help them to see the worth of their own opinions, and the value in their unique differences.

Fitting in is not worth the abandonment of one’s self in the process, whether that self is one’s own personal values, the whisperings of one’s intuition or moral compass, or preferences on what one likes. Willfully choosing to abandon thee things to fit in with others is, in my opinion, true powerlessness made perhaps even worse by the fact that it is a choice, whether it feels like it or not.

DECK USED:  HANSON ROBERTS TAROT

Tending Wounds

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IMG_8514Today’s meditation was a little different than the norm of late.  Instead of doing a guided meditation or using a timer, I settled in with my earbuds and my favorite meditation music playing, and focused on a little poem/quote that I saw on Casper the Boy Diviner‘s Instagram this morning. He wrote it, and it really spoke to me.

Sometimes I forget that not everything is about self improvement and moving forward.  It’s important to remember what we’re doing now… right here in the now.   And that’s what this little poem said to me today. I think that much of the time, I spend far too much time trying to strive for more and better instead of enjoying what and who I am in this moment.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.  This can arise in the form of new relationships, new emotions or feelings, or new creative ideas among other things.

What stands out to me in this imagery is that the blood moon is bleeding. Honestly, I wouldn’t normally associate this card with the Ace of Cups, because… it’s red.  I’m not entirely sure why I feel that way about the color red, but it just… I dunno.

Anyway, what I see here is a moon bleeding.  Blood on the moon bleeding into a dark ocean.  And to me this speaks more of endings than it does to beginnings.  Perhaps I would feel differently about this imagery if I read the guidebook for this deck, but I’ve yet to dive into the book.

The good thing about endings is that beginnings come afterward.  But first you must lance the wounds of the battle that has passed and wash away the cuts and bruises.  Here, this is what I see.  I see a representation of that time at the end of a journey when you finally get to take a shower, tend your wounds, lance the infection out of the wounds that became infected, and then move forward after.   Here in this image, I see that lancing taking place… the preparation that must come before the beginning can… begin.

This card’s appearance today is a reminder to take time off to breathe and recover, to make sure that your wounds (especially those inner emotional ones) are being tended to properly and are healing.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: Something I am asked to work on during January.

Neon Tarot

 Reading Summary: More self-restraint (Knight of Wands Rx) on the things that I am obsessed about (The Devil) will in the end make me happier (Ten of Cups) rather than feeling so uncertain (The Moon).

Take Away:  Uncertainty is bred by allowing my addictions and obsessions to run wild.  This isn’t just about things that cost money like brand name cookies and decks, but also addictions like working too hard, pushing myself too far, etc.  This month I’m asked to work on “slowing my roll” a bit, and a bit of a breather so that I can find balance and help my self find a comfy happy space.   This is not one of my strong suits, but I am doing my best… and will continue to try.

DECK USED:  NEON TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How have you grown over the past year?

Bridgett's Mosaic Dream TarotReading Summary:  Don’t worry so much (Temperance) about what other people think (Six of Wands)  and just go for it (Eight of Wands).

Side note… I’m almost burnt out on the new years themes now.

Take Away: These cards are about being myself and allowing others to see the true me rather than the diluted and carefully restrained impression of me that I usually show.

I’ve always been very, very aware of my issues concerning social norms and ability to socialize “normally” with others. It has never been one of my strong suits.

Over the past year, as I’ve spent less time trying to please others and more time just trying to express myself clearly and do what I enjoy (as well as take care of myself) I’ve found that I’m far less hesitant to step in and offer my two cents or show parts of myself, my interests, and my personality that I would have otherwise kept hidden away from the world.

DECK USED:  BRIDGETT’S MOSAIC DREAM TAROT

Adding Flavor

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  Not intentionally, but apparently I fell asleep within the first minute or two and took an impromptu nap.  So…. no meditation today, just a bit of extra sleep.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Four of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Four of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of stability and making grounded decisions pertaining to one’s health, home life, finances, resources, or manifestations.  It can also be an indication of being miserly or valuing money or resources above all else.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card today is the representation of the four elements within the square/circle of the four pentacles in the imagery.  The character in the card embraces one of those pentacles, and beneath it is the symbol for the element of fire indicating that the coin/pentacle he holds and all that it represents that is his greatest passion.  That doesn’t change that the other four symbols are present, with earth resting to the man’s left, air at the man’s feet, and water to the man’s right.

The message I see in this card today is about where your passions lie, and how no matter where that is?  Everything around you and everything you are in some way feeds into your greatest passions, rotates around those interests, and becomes a part of those things that hold your focus and drive you forward.

I have many passions, some stronger than others, and some far more long in the tooth than others.  These passions permeate my life, and it’s important to be aware of this and how it might skew perceptions and opinions.

It is one more thing in so much that makes each and every person’s perspectives unique and no matter how hard you try to keep those passions to yourself for one reason or another, they will leak out into the rest of your life in small and subtle ways.  Today it is important to acknowledge this and take pleasure in knowing that these things are a part of who you are and a part of what makes you unique.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What energy is available to support me this month?

Paracelsus' Dreams Tarot

Page of Coins atop Five of Coins – When you are feeling discouraged and plagued by doubts and fears related to scarcity issues, remember that you are more than capable of learning a new way of do things and adapting each new situation that comes along. Don’t be afraid to dive into being the student to find a new path forward if the one you’re on has too many potholes.

Seven of Cups atop Nine of Coins Rx – Here there is a reiteration of what is said above.  Again we see feelings of uncertainty around finance and resources and the stability you cherish so much.  Life requires money, but be sure to remember that the ways in which to handle your money and make it work for you (as opposed to the other way around) are endless.  Look over your options during these times of struggle and uncertainty, and seek out the opportunities that will fit your situation best.

Knight of Swords – You are strong, intelligent, and ambitious.  Sometimes, that ambition can sneak out in impulsiveness, but as long as you keep that impulsive nature under control, you a are more than capable of learning what you need to learn and going after what is needed to re-establish your sense of security.

DECK USED:  PARACELSUS’ DREAMS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread 1

Tarot NoirSomeone Important In Your Life That Has Had A Lot of Influence On You

Roy de Deniers – This is a man that has taught me what responsibility and stability looks like. He is the head of the home, the stability beneath his family’s feet, and the rock they depend on.

Their Negative Influence On You and Your Life

Quatre de Bâton – He taught me what uncertainty within a home looks like and how those within a home might pretend to show the world a stability and camaraderie that isn’t truly present beneath the surface. He taught me that alcoholism can eat away at what would otherwise be positive and strong.

Your Negative Influence on Them and Their Life

Valet d’Épée – I made him feel like he had much to learn when he wanted to feel that he already knew all there was to know. This created a sense of vulnerability for him that he struggled with, and still struggles with from time to time. I do not fit the mold of the prejudices that his experience thus far in life have created in him and this is uncomfortable for him, but he has learned (and is still learning) to adjust to the new perspective I provide him.

Their Positive Influence On You and Your Life

Huit de Deniers – This is a man that has taught me what responsibility and stability looks like, and the value that lies in honing one’s skills and having an expertise (or many) under your belt. He taught me the value of hard work is, and the benefits that hard work can bring.  He has also taught me many of the valuable life skills that I needed when I struck out on my own in life and help me to the present day.

Your Positive Influence On Them and Their Life

Neuf d’Épée – I gave (and give) him something to worry about.  This isn’t usually seen as a good thing, but in this man’s life, as he ages and his children go beyond adults and through middle-age, he finds himself feeling useless and un-needed.  I give him the security of knowing that he is still needed, because I am younger and he took me under his wing, I haven’t yet reached the age where he feels I no longer need his help.  Because he worries about me and feels that I still need what he has to offer, he pushes to be stronger and hold on a little longer.

DECK USED:  TAROT NOIR

Dawn’s Light

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IMG_8485Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app with added interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about encouraging one’s imagination instead of squashing it under the weight of realism and responsibility.  Sometimes even unrealistic dreams come true, and it’s important not to crush the hope that lives within your heart by quashing your dreams before they have a chance to grow into fruition.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seeds of new beginnings in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What really stands out to me in this card today is the glow.  I know that it looks like it’s coming out of the cup, but it’s really coming from behind the cup, as evidenced by the fact that the interior of the cup is dark.

The message here is about the shadows cast by the dawn.  Sometimes when we’re in the dark, which is often the case when we’re experiencing something new and different, we long for the dawn and the light that will make everything more familiar again.  But there are always going to be shadows on any experience, because there is no positive without negative and no light without darkness.

The message here in today’s card is to not allow the dark moments to taint the dawn light.  Bask in the glow and take a breath, and leave the darkness alone for another time.  Spend  some time focusing on the good and enjoying the now.  It’s okay to let go of the shadows for a bit.  They’ll still be there for you later on.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to start my 2021 positively?

Tarot of the Divine

 Reading Summary: You need to start off on your journey with a plan (Two of Wands) to begin as you intend to continue (Justice).

The Five of Wands in this reading isn’t about the question at all, but rather it is an objection to me trying to get out a third card when the deck didn’t want to give me one. Sort of a “fuck you” to my insistence on having a third card.

Take Away: The cards here are a reminder not to procrastinate on the way I want to do things.  If I want to focus on self care this year, I need to start off this year focusing on self care.   If I want to focus on balance this year, I need to start off focusing on balance.  If my focus for this year is to be furthering my emotional intelligence and fostering my emotional growth, then I need to begin as I want things to continue.

To start my 2021 on a positive note, I need to begin as I wish things to continue. In this manner, I can pick up and maintain momentum on my intentions from the start instead of wasting time on procrastination and avoidance.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DIVINE

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What could you use less of in your life?

Guardian of the Night TarotFive of Pentacles atop Four of Cups – Procrastination being egged on by issues with scarcity. It isn’t so much that scarcity creates the breeding ground for procrastination to grow and thrive so much as… fear does.  And scarcity issues are fertile ground for fear to grow within.  And once fear has taken root and starts to take over like an invasive species of weed allowed to get out of control, it binds you up and drags you down until progress to getting things done and moving on to better horizons becomes no more than a crawl at best.

Ace of Wands – Clutter and feeling crowded (imagery in the card) due to having so many potential projects going on at once. New projects put off until there’s a bit more time build up over time, and that includes the ones that you’ve bought the supplies for and maybe even started before needing to set aside for one reason or another.  All that clutter is feeling mighty crowded these days and now is a good time to begin looking at ways to re-organize and clean out what isn’t working for you anymore.

Three of Wands – The drive that pushes you forward with such stringent enthusiasm, even when it’s not entirely healthy to push at that time. This also ties into the Ace of Wands and all those projects partially done or not yet started.  Leave behind the urge to keep piling more and more on your plate.  It doesn’t create progress or get you anywhere, it just slows you down.

DECK USED:  GUARDIAN OF THE NIGHT TAROT