The Mysterious Farmer
Fresh paint
and a newly tended field
and yet
never a soul in sight
Who cares for the farm
in the forest valley
and do they only
work at night?
Always well kept
tidy and clean
and yet not a soul around
surely it’s not ghosts
that do all the work
and yet not a soul is seen
My crown energy right now.
Five of Swords – I have a headache and have been feeling a bit more “under the knife” with my inner dialogue lately, so it fits that these swords are coming from above, sharp and pointed… and aimed at the delicate lilies below. Although not the traditional read of the Five of Swords, the imagery here speaks volumes to me both concerning what’s mentioned above and the attack on my more mature relationship I’d begun to have with my inner dialogue lately.
Tension I’m currently holding in this area.
Ten of Cups – There’s a certain amount of pressure (self inflicted) to put out the appearance that everything is okay. And most the time it is. But at the same time? It’s not. The fact that I pretty much fell apart last night after time with Gideon makes it pretty clear that everything is not exactly as perfect as I’d like people to believe.
How I can release this tension.
The Moon – Stop allowing uncertainties and insecurities to take root and stir that inner dialogue. You’re spending too much energy trying to see the shit you’re fucking up on, and not enough on reminding yourself that that insidious inner voice is an asshole and a liar.
Something trivial that I need to let go of.
Six of Wands – Don’t worry so much about what others see. You are pretending everything is fine, allowing others to see everything is fine when it’s not… and there’s too much energy going into appearances instead of into digging out the problem and what’s causing this imbalance.
How I can be of service to others.
The Hermit – By taking the time to actually do the work needed to find the problem, shine light upon it, and bring it up to the surface to be dealt with. Sometimes the only way to do that is with some in depth soul searching.
How I can improve my connection with my higher self.
Four of Cups – Soften that cold shoulder you’re handing out to your higher self lately, and allow your higher self to come sit beside you instead of taking a back seat. Vulnerability is hard and it’s okay to stumble and back track sometimes in your journey. Take some time to get back in touch with yourself, and let the higher self return to the table.
Today’s meditation was skipped, replaced instead with my appointment with my shrink. It was a decent appointment and we agree that I’m fully and completely out of the depressive episode. And that structure is good for me regardless of whether I actually like it or not.
Today’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of control, willpower, determination, direction, and success drawn to flourish from the marrow of these themes.
In this card, I see this theme fully realized. The horses are wild and the surroundings chaotic, and yet the figure in control not only has things in hand, but has time and capacity to go out of his way to look toward those watching, make eye contact, and strike a pose for onlookers.
Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which says “A chance meeting will open new doors to success and friendship”, what I see here is a message about how you never know what’s going to happen in life, but if you’re ready for the unexpected you can quickly grab the reigns and turn things to your advantage.
Whether the unexpected is a chance (yet fortuitous) meeting or an opportunity that comes out of the blue and is about to whiz right by you. If you’re ready to take what comes and grab hold, you can turn whatever it is into something good for you and your life, you just need to make sure you’re feeling in a place of control and have your determination at the ready at a moments notice.
Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 12th & 13th
What role does confusion play in my life?
Six of Cups, Knight of Cups, The Sun
They make me wish for an easier time when I could just go after whatever I wanted and enjoy the ride to success without worrying so much about the possibility of fucking up along the way.
This is an emotional response of nostalgia for something simpler in moments when I am feeling confused. It gives me a chance to look back, and reminds me that there may be an opportunity to look for simpler ways of doing things than the one that has me all tied up in confusion.
How can I better cope with confusion?
Eight of Cups and Three of Cups
Find those simpler options and go after them, making sure that the time saved and the release of stress in doing so goes towards together time with others and healthy types of celebration.
#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What is the best way for a person to attain happiness?
Reading Summary: Don’t allow disappointments (Three of Swords) to turn your gaze away from the good in life (Five of Cups). Take pride in your conquests (Five of Swords), but don’t linger too long before embarking on new adventures (Three of Wands).
Take Away: The best way to obtain happiness (according to these cards) is to make sure that when things don’t go how you expect them to, that you don’t allow yourself to get stuck in that disappointment and thus allow it to stagnate and fester while you miss out on the other good stuff going on around you. And to appreciate your victories, but by the same turn, don’t sit still there either,
So as a whole, the answer lies in movement. It lies in not allowing yourself to sit still and stagnate too long, whether that is in bad feelings and disappointments, or the good feelings either. Keep moving, and keep seeking.
We ordered pizza for supper tonight instead of fighting over who is going to cook and what’s going to be made.
Let It Rain
Let clouds dip
closer to earth
heavy with moisture
ready to be released
let the chill wash
of rivulets and drips
slide down over
flesh and hair
and each
blade of grass
to clean away
the old and create
something
fresh and new
Prompt: Pull (at least) three cards use them as the foundation to write about the life of a sentient tree.
Justice – Once, the large Douglas Fir had lived in the center of a vast forest, but man had slowly cut into the forest again and again, until eventually all that was left of the forest was a few acres of land. When the workers came to begin clearing his spot, he watched them work with great sadness, following their progress as they took down his smaller friends and uprooted the earth around him.
As the day grew long and the sun eased closer to the horizon, the contractor pushed for more work from the men, demanding more done and the last tree to be removed. When the man with the chainsaw came, the old bark of the tree groaned and branches snapped as bows were shifted to allow the man closer to the trunk, and at the first nick of blade to bark a low groan of bark and wood was accompanied by rustling… and the man’s chainsaw was found lost on the ground… the man somehow gone.
Wheel of Fortune – No one saw what happened as the man had gone beyond the boughs of the fir tree in order to get close to the trunk, and after a short time searching, it was assumed the man had left and it was decided another would take his place. Here again when the man got close and went to cut into the tree with the chainsaw, the man disappeared, the chainsaw dropping to the ground to tumble out from under the tree and yet another search was done.
The third lumberjack went into the tree to do the same as the first two, but this one makes sure that to have others watching over him. As he starts the chainsaw, he takes a moment to look up, and drops the chainsaw as he begins to scream. The two other men that had tried to cut down the tree are suspended more than twelve feet in the air, impaled on broken branches sticking out of the trunk.
As he watches, fronds of fir come down and bend in, and as the watchers watch on they scoop up the man with the chainsaw and lift him high, hugging him into the trunk and impaling him on another broken branch high up along the tree’s trunk.
The Sun – This is how, as humanity came to invade upon nature’s turf, certain spots remained left untouched. As land was cleared and what might have become the last forests in the world cut down, it came to be that some were preserved after all. Parks and hiking trails, protected land and forestry. For it was when nature finally started to fight back, that man realized that she was no longer going to allow for the abuse that gone much too far.
Man learned at last that they must live in harmony with nature, and the Douglas Fir in the forest remained where it was, happily protecting the land upon which it stands for centuries to come.
Today’s meditation was skipped because nobody would f’ing leave me alone… including the cat. I mean, seriously.
Today’s draw is the Seven of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of choices. Specifically, too many choices. Sometimes when we are confronted with too many choices, it is a boon as it means we can find the one that’s just right for us… and sometimes it’s a curse, and we become overwhelmed.
In the image on this card, the variety of choices open to the fox hang from the bows of a laurel, and all of them look appealing in their own way.
That is where the advice from the Flower Fortune card for today comes in. In the phrase “Whatever your goal in life is, embrace it, visualize it, and it will be yours.”
Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out what path you want to be on. Sometimes? That difficulty in sorting all that out can end up causing unneeded hurdles and roadblocks to getting anywhere at all.
The reminder here is that it’s okay to step back and take some time to decide on what you want, just don’t use it as an avoidance. Everyone needs to figure this out eventually, or we reach the end of our lives feeling like we’ve been a waste of space our entire lives because we never managed to fill our life but anything but waiting and avoidance.
Use that time to consider your choices. Use it to explore and discover new things. Use it to fill your life with the things you enjoy. And when you do this? You will naturally find that path that’s right for you without all the stress of having to “pick it out” of a line up.
#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?
Six of Pentacles – Make sure that you are claiming only what you need for yourself. This is especially true when it comes to food for you. You have a habit of getting territorial over food (especially leftovers), which is understandable considering how much food you need to consume in a day to keep from dropping weight. At the same time? Don’t be the prison inmate out on parole who hovers over their plate and growls at anyone who gets close. There is always more food. Relax. It’s not going to disappear.
King of Wands – Own your passions and principles. This is not something you usually struggle with, but sometimes outside comments can cause a moment or two of self-doubt or insecurity to wriggle in now and then. It’s possible you could end up susceptible to this kind of external input this week, so make sure you stand strong and proud concerning your passions as well as your principles. Own them as your own and fuck’em if they (whoever “might be”) doesn’t like it.
Queen of Cups – Allow yourself to share more freely with your emotional support system. It’s okay to feel vulnerable with those people in your life that are there to support you and help you sort things out. This journey of emotional growth you’re on is confusing. Make sure that you’re reaching out to those that can help you sort out your feelings when you need to.
LionHart’s Reap & Sow Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions for May 10th through 12th
An attachment or need I can do without.
The Lovers
Always needing to make the right choice. This was a topic that was visited in one of my readings yesterday as well. It’s not so much about failure as it is about fucking up. And, when I fuck up, then being harsh with myself as a result instead of treating it as the growing pains that I would view failure as. It’s okay to fuck up sometimes. I don’t need to hold onto those moments and allow my inner narrative to lay on abuse as a result.
Why is this attachment/need bad for me?
King of Cups, Two of Pentacles, Three of Wands
You can’t grow and mature emotionally without making wrong choices and learning how to re-balance and reorient yourself in the aftermath. This is true when you experience failure and is something I roll with and adapt to easily in those moments. But it’s also true when you just plain fuck up and do something wrong or immature. It happens to everyone and it’s how we learn and grow into better selves. It shouldn’t be something you berate yourself for.
By letting go of this attachment I allow myself to…
Two of Cups atop Five of Swords Rx
By letting go of this attachment I allow myself to surrender to what comes and grow together instead of alone. Lessons are very rarely learned alone, even when you alone are the origin of the “fuck up” that teaches the lesson. Learning together can be a bonding experience, so don’t shut others out due to embarrassment or shame. By welcoming them in, everyone grows and learns together, and the bonds between those involved grow stronger as a result.
I not only took a nap today, but I got a good long amount of time playing with Gideon this evening as well. I also gave myself a bit of piece of mind this evening and put in my earbuds (in both ears) so that I could completely block out the noise of everything going on in the apartment and just be in my own world for a bit.
