Daily Meditation

Sense of Self

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and focused on separating from the “self” and becoming a witness in order to deal with difficult emotions and grasp that they are temporary and will pass.

This type of detachment is something that I’m intimately familiar with, but what I really liked about today’s guided meditation was the explanation that came before moving on to the topic of separation from self to deal with emotions.

In leading up to the topic, it spoke about how we say we have a body, and we have a mind.  We speak of these things like they are possessions, rather than saying, for example, that we are a body or we are a mind.  This brings to bear the question of what are we?  She speaks on how many advanced meditation practitioners have come to the conclusion that each of us is a “Witness”, and that in the experience of being human, each of us is at our core pure awareness.

I found this a very interesting perspective, and it fits in well with how I view the world, people, life, and my practice as a whole.  I’ve heard similar perspectives in the past, but how it was presented in today’s guided meditation really struck a chord for me.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out of the deck together. The cards in today’s draw are the Eight of Cups and The Sun card.

When I look at today’s cards, the message that comes through is about moving on from uncertainty and into a more positive outlook.  I think this goes well with what you and I have been experiencing the last couple of days with the drop and my struggles to fill the shoes as  I feel necessary to be on the supportive side of things.   It’s something I really struggle with, and I don’t entirely understand why.  I’m a responsible person, and I see the aftermath as very much an important responsibility, and yet I wobble under that weight time and again.

As the scales slide back into balance, though, I feel lighter and warmer. Less struggle and more gratitude.  I think you are right that the top space swings high, then like a pendulum, comes to swing back the other way and knock me off that perch.  The cards are telling me that I need to accept my shortcomings and move away from the self blame and recriminations.  Be happy with the experience as it is and bask in the balance we have with each other, instead of picking apart my part of it a little at a time to dig out negatives.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine masculine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Queen of Cups is about receptive alpha emotional energy, and the King of Cups on the other side is projective emotional energy.  Separating the two is the Eight of Wands, which speaks of swift, fast paced action and change, and I also pick up hints of the inverted meaning of misalignment in the image.

Take Away:   Recognition and acceptance of my emotions is needed.  At the moment, I use my busyness and the cacophony of having my fingers in so many pots to put aside and separate myself from my emotions.  If I want to honor the divine masculine within me, I need to seek out a better connection between that receptive energy and the projective energy within my emotions, and seek a wholeness and synergy without wedging “everything else” in between to keep my emotions detached and compartmentalized.

Deck Used: Spirit Tarot (from the Halloween Spirit Store and Spencer’s Gifts)

Uncertainties in Self

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Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a quiet and peaceful meditation where she didn’t do a lot of talking.   I enjoy these primarily because I really like the background music playing in the app.  In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I would love the opportunity to buy the music.

Essentially, the music is individual notes played lightly (and slowly) on a keyboard to some very subtle, barely audible EMDR-type musical flow in the background.  It’s very relaxing, and my mind seems to visualize it into an open plane of water (the background noise) with occasional drips falling into the smooth expanse to cause ripples (the piano notes).

I might need to contact the app creator and see if they can provide me with some information that might help me track down the artist.  It’s worth a try.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the guided meditation focused primarily on using meditation to better condition ourselves to be present in the moment, rather than spending too much time reflecting on the past or focused on the “what ifs” of the future.

Today’s draw is the Strength card, which I seem to be seeing a lot lately in my readings.  The Strength card’s traditional representations involve inner strength, outer strength, courage, persuasion and coercion.  It can also indicate raw emotion, self doubt, and a lack of energy.

I feel that it is in those alternate meanings that I find the message of today’s card.   The Strength card is telling me that it’s okay to be tired and take a rest now and then.  It doesn’t make you weak to take care of yourself and, sometimes, that means allowing for that time of rest and time to deal with the hint of rawness that is going on with me right now.

I think that it also correlates to the drop and helping you through it.  I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you down.  I really hope that I’m not letting you down. (Points to the self doubt aspect.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine feminine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Hermit card speaks of time alone and working on things on my own.  The Ace of Pentacles is a touch on manifestation and ‘new money’ and the Queen of Pentacles, juggling home life and work as well as giving myself time to self-nurture (which again ties around into the Hermit card).

Take Away:   Focus on my home business. My business is all about manifestation and creativity.  It involves a LOT of working on my own and I do a good deal of reflection during that time.  I find the creative process of manifesting ideas into a beautiful creation in reality to be soothing and invigorating, all at the same time.   The cards indicate if I want to honor my divine feminine side, this is the path to doing that.

Deck Used: Ludy Lescot Tarot

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

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As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

Earth – The Star, Queen of Wands, and Hawthorn – I need to take some more time out in nature, connecting to the ancient spirits within the trees and the land itself. My body needs this connection, as does the ability to manifest my creativity into reality. Take some extra time out in nature this week, and connect with that energy that reaches beyond years and decades into centuries and millennia.

Air – Five of Wands and Rosemary – This week is a good time to look back at past conflicts, and reflect on how far I have come since that time in my life. It is a time to remember how strong I am, and take a moment or two to acknowledge how those things that once tore me apart now are the bedrock that supports my stability now.

Water – Justice and River Otter – Seeking too much stability kills the joy. I’m someone that is constantly searching for stability in life, and that includes in my emotions. The river otter is a reminder that without a bit of swing in those scales, life becomes boring. Yes, there are times when things tip down, but the upswing can be worth the imbalance now and then.

Fire – Knight of Swords and Monarch Butterfly – Full steam ahead! But that said, be prepared when you step forward into your ambitions that you are bringing your past along on the trip this week. It may cause a few stumbling blocks to work through along the way, but in doing so there is potential for significant growth.

Moving Away From – Blossom – I should seek out nature during the beginning of the week in order to take advantage of the energies there and how they can assist me in my growth. As the week goes on, I will transition more that energy of progress and growth into…

Heading Toward – Angelic – … a time when my focus will need to settle on caring for myself and bolstering my own self worth.

Take Away – I may feel a bit of uncertainty in the last half of the week, especially with all this stuff from the past coming up that is mentioned in the spread. Connecting to the past, not just my past but the energy of past generations, may trigger some need for healing, forgiveness, and letting go. It may also provide a catalyst for growth. Make sure to take time for myself, for nature, and to find joy in the world and those around me or I may risk sinking under the weight.

Decks Used: Talking to the Moon Tarot, Illustrated Bestiary Cards, Illustrated Herbiary Cards, Earthly Souls and Spirits Oracle 3rd Edition

 

Choices and Hindsight

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and the majority of the guided meditation was a full body scan from head to toes.

I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite types of meditation, as it allows me to do a check-in with myself and my body while I meditate.

That check-in helps me better figure out what needs tending as far as scarring, flexibility, and residual issues from injuries are concerned.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together without a jumper.  I switched decks for the alternate to combine with the Halloween Tarot, as I feel that the one I was using has a bit more of a November feel, so it will make a reappearance next month.

The cards in today’s draw are the Strength card, and the Two of Swords.

When I look at these cards, what I see is the message that sometimes you have to make the hard choices, but that you are strong enough to do so, and have the inner strength to adapt to the results and consequences that come after these choices are made.

It is a message about standing by your choices once they are made, more than which choices to make along the way.  It is about standing by your decisions once these decisions have been made, and not just riding out the aftermath of what comes from those decisions but making the aftermath work for you.

I think that this is a really important message to take to heart.   Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we look back later and say “oh geez, I should have done this instead.”   But the fact is, that is in the past and the past isn’t what you have to deal with.   It’s the present that’s now at your feet and needs your time.

Traditional representations for the Strength card are inner strength, persuasion and/or coercion, compassionate influence over others, and courage.  As a Major Arcana card, this card deals with the “big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human condition.

The Two of Swords is traditionally a representation of duality, unions, division, and partnerships in the area of thought, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.  This means that it deals with topics such as decision making and choices, as well as indecision and confusion.

Deck Used: The Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I like them this month, and I have so many decks that are perfect for the month of October that I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: What can I do to better improve my relationship with my body?

Reading Summary: The Five of Wands speaks to me of needing more physical activity.  The Three of Cups means that I will do better along that path if I do it with a friend.  The Knight of Pentacles indicates I may need to spend a bit of money along the way, which to me reads as a gym membership component.

Take Away:   I need to start going to the gym with J again. Ok so… Although this is an answer that I knew already in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect it to be the answer that came up for some reason.   The truth is, though.   I do need to start going to the gym again.  Between the cancer, and other stresses that have come through my life since then, I never managed to gain back the weight I lost during my cancer treatments.  From experience, I know that I don’t do gym time well if I have to go it alone.  I need the distraction and motivation of having someone else there.   I also know through experience that if I don’t work out, I’ll never gain the weight back.  If I want it back, it has to be through muscle weight, because I don’t retain fat in a way that is conducive to weight gain.

Will I get a gym membership again and start going with J?  Very probably.  Although, probably not until after the holidays are over.  The busy time is creeping up fast, and I’m just not going to have the extra time once the bomb drops.

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck

 

Battle of the Imps

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Ugh… ok so I planned to do this post after a nap when I got home… and then I slept FOREVER.   So the post is super late today.

Today’s post was ten minutes long, and focused on sitting with discomfort instead of avoiding it.   Whether this is physical pain, awkward moments, uncomfortable situations, etc, the focus was upon not running away from these situations or experiences, but rather using them as learning experiences for personal growth and education.

I learned this technique very early in life, and it has served me well.  It’s a big part of the reason that, even though I have had some rather significant hurdles and challenges in my life and not come from them unscathed, when people ask if there is anything I would change… the answer is no.  I would not be who I am without each and every one of those challenges and experiences, and I’m pretty happy with who I am.

Today’s draw was the Five of Imps (Wands) which is a representation of struggle, strife, conflict, and competition in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.

What stood out to me in this card this morning, though, isn’t the battle of the imps, Rather, it was the little demon cat in the lower left corner, and the moon watching on from above.

Today’s card is a message about not getting involved in things that have nothing to do with you. It’s OK to stand on the sidelines and watch and let them work it out for themselves.

Although this wasn’t something that applied to my day as a whole, I think that this is a really good reminder.  I’m one of those people that likes to help, but there are times when I need to remember that stepping in to help isn’t the best solution, for myself or for others.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.

Question: How can I better attune to my intuition?

Reading Summary: Don’t.  You’ll be sorry.

Take Away:  Not the answer I was anticipating when I picked up the cards to delve into this question!  That said, what I see in these cards is that I could reach for an even better connection with my intuition.  I could push on to the “next level” and do the work to find new perspectives.   But in the end?  I have other things to focus on that are better uses of my time at the moment, as I am already very much connected to my intuition, and deepening that connection more may not be something I’m ready (or able) to handle right now.

Deck Used: Le Tarot de Marseille par Pole Ka

Tapping In to Inner Strengths

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and although it was a guided meditation, I really wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying.  I have found that sometimes the music in the background just really catches my attention and carries me away.

At those times, my attention seems to skip along the notes like a rock skipping over water, touching down on each note as it is played before gliding on to the next, and the next.  It’s a very peaceful sensation.   I wish I could find the music as a download of some kind, all on its own.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards jumped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Auntie Whispers card (the Strength card), and the Eight of Pentacles.

The Auntie Whispers card is a Major Arcana card, and deals with “big picture” themes rather than any one specific aspect of the human condition.  It is commonly a representation of inner strength, compassionate persuasion, and courage.

The Eight of Pentacles is a representation of purpose, determination, and accomplishment in the area of resources, finances, and the physical world.  This card is often an indication of hard work and hard won expertise in areas that involve manifestation of ideas into reality.

When I look at the combination of these cards in today’s draw, the message I am picking up from the cards is about the fact that I really wasn’t entirely inspired to work today.  But, sometimes?  You have to power through and do your work.   I have the inner strength of will to make that happen, and that’s exactly what I have done today.

Fortunately, I also got to spend time with you, and I think a lot of that has to do with the good management of my time and making sure to balance that time appropriately.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: What resources for growth are available to me?  I specifically focused on growth concerning my business in this inquiry.

Reading Summary: Inner strength and decisiveness are the tools that I can provide for myself, but there is also an element of community involved that can help deflect moments of conflict and turmoil concerning my inspiration and ambition.

Take Away:  I can’t carry everything myself, no matter how much I want to.  The tools available to me go beyond just my own personal skills and abilities, and if I want to foster growth, I need to also look outside myself and to what others can offer.    This will be especially important in learning from other’s mistakes and taking advice to find a better path to my goals that involves less nasty surprises and pitfalls along the way.

Deck Used: Halloween Magick Tarot