Daily Meditation

Whose Shoes Are Those?

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IMG_8635Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app with interval timer for my piriformis and forearm flexor stretching.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about having appreciation for one’s failures and mistakes. This is actually a topic that’s near and dear to my heart, and it’s one that is connected to something that I struggled for a very long time to understand in others (and sometimes still do).  That is to say, I’ve never understood why people hold back from doing things out of fear of being bad at them or not doing them right.

One of the biggest steps to learning a new skill or ability is trying and failing, you then take that knowledge learned about what doesn’t work… and try again. And through multiple failures, you learn what works and what doesn’t… and eventually?  You don’t fail because you become an expert.   This is the process of trial and error that is what learning something new is all about.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - The Hanged ManToday’s draw is the Hanged Man, which is traditionally a representation of taking time to look at new perspectives and gather additional data.  It’s about taking a pause in order to see things from a different angle, and allowing yourself time to wrap your mind around different viewpoints and opinions, ideas and angles… to see things from a different view in order to find more depth in understanding.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the feathers in the lower right hand corner. They drew my eye very strongly today and are an indication of thought… of the fact that this man has a great need for thought and reevaluation… and clearly the opportunity to do so.

The thing is, even in situations like his?  We still have a choice on whether we are going to be open to reevaluation and a different perspective than the one we ourselves carry, or if we are going to remain closed in our own personal box and unwilling to see our situation (or any other topic) from a place removed from our own opinions and perceptions.

I have found, over time and observation, that I don’t communicate with people that are unwilling to try and see things from outside their own personal “box”, as if stuck in the certainty that their viewpoint on something is the -only- view point and only reality.  I struggle with communicating with people that have that mindset a lot, and it feels a lot like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone, especially when trying to help them in expanding their view to find a different perspective that might help them in some way.

I still try though, because I want to see their perspective… but I want to help them see more than that perspective as well in order to help them find a path out of the situations that have caused them to end up feeling stuck or stagnant.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I attune to my internal elements to manifest my best in 2021?
(I had to rephrase this question so that it better suited my needs.)

Wayward Dark Tarot

 Reading Summary: Part of making sure that I am attuned to my internal elements is in finding a balance between the self care and nurturing that I need in my life (pomegranates) and the strength and responsibility that I carry on my shoulders (stag beetle).  To do this, I need to learn how to create some organization and control within my inner narrative so that the negativity does not overwhelm (Princess of Air).

(Note: The first two cards are actually the Three of Cups and Four of Pentacles, but when they landed on the table in this reading, what I saw here were the Empress and the Emperor.  I have not been able to divorce my mind in this reading from feeling that the Empress and Emperor are within these cards and they were read intuitively as such.)

Take Away:  One of the things that sends me out of whack the fastest is when my pessimism and negative inner talk starts to take a front seat.  It screws with my head and tumbles me into overwhelm, and both my responsibilities and my personal self care suffer as a result.   If I want to attune myself to manifest the best 2021 that I can, I need to make sure I keep things in that department in hand, because I need to both ensure I am getting the self care I need, and also not dropping the ball on my responsibilities.

DECK USED:  WAYWARD DARK TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is something that you miss that you can bring back into your life?

The Deck of the Celestials TarotKing of Cups atop Two of Cups: More quality time with Gideon. More harmony and time together, working together and “feeding” off each other to create a positive and happy synergy.  This is something that the holiday rush took away, and that I didn’t get much of even during my time off after the holiday rush.  It’s something I’ve missed and, as the cards here indicate, is definitely able to be brought back into my life now.

Nine of Pentacles: More gratitude practice. Another thing that had to be set aside for a time during my holiday rush was the morning devotional that I usually do each morning prior to my meditation.  This devotional creates a daily regular opportunity for me to consciously focus upon the things in my life that I am grateful for, and express that gratitude openly.  I have not yet picked back up my daily devotional since the end of the holiday rush, but this gratitude practice is something that would benefit me and is definitely something that it’s time to reestablish now that the mess of the holiday rush is over.

Three of Wands atop The Magician: More confidence and surety in the direction I’ve chosen to go in. I’ve taken a lot of steps over the past year to learn new ways of looking at and handling the balance between my personal needs and my responsibilities, new ways of acknowledging and dealing with my emotions, and new perspectives on how to make space for personal growth.  All this newness creates a sense of unsure footing that can make avoiding backsliding into old habits difficult to avoid. The confidence and sure footed progress I want may be more of an illusion than reality… but the progress itself? It is something that it’s time to bring back into my life now that I am out of the rush and able to focus on my growth once more.

DECK USED:  THE DECK OF CELESTIALS TAROT

Steady Ground

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Today’s meditation was another of those “start meditating and end up napping” meditations.  Which is to say, I didn’t meditate today.  I napped. Apparently, I really needed to sleep, no matter how much I might have also needed the meditation.  I will try again to meditate tonight before bed.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - The HermitToday’s draw is the Hermit, which is traditionally a representation of taking time to oneself for inner exploration and reflection. It is about being alone in order to seek out one’s inner voice and do a bit of soul searching.

What stood out to me in this imagery is that when I first looked at it this morning, I first saw rough ocean waters behind the Hermit instead of the mountain range.

It is in this shift of imagery that I see the message in this card today, for it is about the need to have some sort of stability under your feet when you do your soul searching journey and not the instability of rolling waves.

Just as it is a bad idea to do shadow work on yourself when your world is in upheaval, so is a time when you don’t have steady footing a bad time to settle into aloneness and introspection.

During times of chaos and instability, you need others around you to help support you.  Do your alone time and introspection later when the world has settled into solid ground under your feet once more.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What surrounding elements are currently supporting my plans?

Transire Tarot

 Reading Summary:  Energies of deconstruction (The Tower) and slow growth (Seven of Pentacles) surround and support me, no matter how worrisome those energies might feel sometimes (Nine of Swords)

Take Away:  It’s not always a bad thing to pick things apart.  By taking things apart you learn from them how they work and what they’re about, and you gain knowledge on how to build something better as a result.  But this process takes time, and sometimes that time can allow worries and anxieties to rise up to pick and poke at the mind.  Even worry can have its place, though.  It can motivate and keep you alert and paying attention one’s progress… as long as it doesn’t get out of hand.

DECK USED:  TRANSIRE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread 2
Question: How is Mister R handling things with his health at the moment? Is he going to stick around for a while longer?

Magical Nordic TarotReading Summary: The Queen of Cups through it’s coloring, stands alone, only the fish connecting it to the Strength card and the Six of Pentacles… the aqua of the water also connects to the dress in the Strength.  This is an indication that he is feeling emotionally sated and strong due to the support he’s receiving. He wraps himself in that support and it makes him stronger. It feels good to him that those at a distance have reached out to him during the troubles he’s been having (polar bear).

Through color connection, the Five of Swords is also an outlier in this reading, with only a slight echo in the bottom of the Six of Pentacles).  It lies beneath the Six of Pentacles indicating that he’s willing to fight hard to stick around, demanding that he get the most out of life and using the support of others to help him in that effort.  That support then flows down into the Strength card, again echoing the connection between the support he’s receiving, and the strength that he gets from it.

Take Away: It is when Mister R is feeling alone and separated from others that he begins to slide down into self-defeating mindset and attitude.  As long as he is receiving support from others around him, he will continue to fight and take strength from that support to stay on top of things.  That support gives him a boost in this fight, and also an emotional boon to his soul.

To give him the best chance, you need to call and talk with him often… and encourage others to do the same.

DECK USED:  MAGICAL NORDIC TAROT

Creative Control

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Today’s meditation was sort of circumvented into a nap.  Okay, so there’s no “sort of” about it.  I settled in to meditate and promptly drifted off to sleep instead.  And I slept longer than I’d have liked (big surprise right?) so I haven’t tried to settle in for meditation since, because I wanted to get online and spend some together time.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is The Devil card, which is traditionally a representation of temptations, addictions, and other types of unhealthy attachments that one inflicts upon oneself.

I like this depiction of The Devil with the Medusa hair.  Because, when I think of Medusa?  I think of how strong the temptation would be to look at her, even knowing the consequences… perhaps that temptation would be even stronger because of the consequences involved, because it makes it that much more forbidden.

The Devil stands on all of those that have come before and been unable to resist the temptation of taking a look… just a quick glance.  But in the Clash of the Titans mythos, Perseus finds a way to look at Medusa without suffering the consequences of the curse.

And there is the lesson in temptations, obsessions, and addictions.  Control and creativity.  You don’t have to give up the things that you love, but you do need to find a way to keep them under control and in a place of moderation.  Sometimes, this requires a bit of creative thinking to accomplish, but it’s possible.  Instead of creating a mindset of scarcity and deprivation by trying to “cut out” the things you enjoy that you get carried away with, find a way to moderate them and keep things in control and perspective.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What in your life needs started now for it to be ready when you need it?

Zolar's New Astrological Tarot c.1973Reading Summary: Move away (Eight of Cups) from the urges towards impulsivity (Knight of Swords Rx), so that you can be in an advantageous position (Knight of Wands) when plans start to go sideways (Three of Wands).

Take Away: This isn’t so much about the planning itself going sideways as it is about how sometimes the best laid plans still go awry.  When that happens, if I prepare now I can have a “cushion” in place to deal with it and work through the issue more easily.

In order to prepare, though, I need to get a handle on my more impulsive tendencies and set them aside before they get out of hand and become harmful to me in the present as well as my future.

DECK USED:  ZOLAR’S NEW ASTROLOGICAL TAROT c.1973

Spreading the Wealth

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IMG_8584Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with interval timer for my piriformis and forearm stretches.  Yes, I started back up with the extra forearm flexor stretches, as giving it a break seems to have instead of letting it rest… given it the opportunity to tighten up more.

The topic of today’s meditation is about the importance of acknowledging and accepting that there is more in the world that we can see and understand.  It’s like that Shakespeare Hamlet quote “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

I don’t necessarily think secular people are “wrong” or that their view isn’t just as valid as anyone else’s, but I feel that, like everyone in the world, we need to understand that there’s more out there than we can possibly hope to comprehend, whether it is a part of our personal dogma or not.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Six of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of generosity, and the give and take of charity.  This representation is ruled by balance (thus the scales often depicted on the Six of Pentacles), and is both about the giving of those more fortunate, and the acceptance of that generosity by those less fortunate.

What really stands out to me in this card today isn’t in the imagery (which is stunning, as always, in this deck).  It’s in the words upon the scroll at the bottom.   The words “Material Success” are used as a prompt for the card, and I feel that this is… short sighted.  It encourages one to focus on only one side of that balance that this card’s message is truly about.

“Spread the Wealth” is definitely the message that I get from this card today, through the image that is then strongly reinforced by the words at the bottom.

I think sometimes we all forget how fortunate we are.  I know that I do sometimes.  But even at my worst, living in a car and struggling on the streets, I still had things to be grateful for, and ways that I was able to reach out and help others less fortunate than myself.  That outreach is important… and there are many ways to pay forward your good fortune than through monetary means.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What should I know or keep in mind as I go after my dreams and goals?

Earth Bones Tarot 2nd Edition

 Reading Summary:  You have to rest now and then (Four of Crystals), no matter how enthusiastic you are feeling to explore new things (Page of Wicks) or you will burn yourself out and open yourself up to the slippery slope of depression (Three of Crystals).

Take Away:  Dreams and goals are meant to be pursued and explored, but it’s important to remember to take breaks and rest now and then along the way.  The pace you set is your own, and there’s no deadline to be had.  Don’t risk your emotional stability and well-being by pushing too hard and not giving yourself the rest you need.  That rest is extremely important to keep everything in balance.

DECK USED:  EARTH BONES TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you actually deserve? (Built off yesterday’s cards)

Tarot of the Divine MasculineReading Summary:  You deserve to leave behind the negative lessons  of the past (Six of Cups Rx) and rule your roost with strength and confidence (The Emperor) with Gideon there at your side to support (King of Cups).

Take Away: Strength and Happiness.  This is about finding stability and confidence in myself instead of allowing my past to creep in and whisper in my ear those negative inner naratives that always try to tear me down.  I deserve to live a life without those influences weakening my foundation.  And I deserve Gideon there beside me, supporting me along the way, each and every day as I move forward into the future.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DIVINE MASCULINE

#DatingTheTarot2020 a (non) VR to Candy Soul and Soil

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So, this prompt was brought to my attention by Simon at The Hermit’s Cave, bit it originates from Candy Soul and Soil on YouTube. The concept here is what decks would fit these ten dating categories listed below. Although it was encouraged that you could use any kind of deck for this challenge (not just tarot decks), but I will be sticking to tarot specifically.

1: The Cheapskate Date… who did you date because they were cheap as chips and what was the outcome?

Student Tarot v2 Stained Glass

Student Tarot v.2 (Stained Glass) – Other than free decks and gifts, this is my cheapest deck. I paid $3.73 for it in a bargain bin at a little Asian market up in British Columbia, Canada. It was tucked away at the very back of a shelf cluttered with stationary and books. It is a beautiful deck and actually got me into collecting all of the different Student Tarot decks. Each one has a different style of art, and I currently have… seven versions. I’m not entirely sure how many versions there are total, because every time I think I know about them all I then end up finding another one.

2: The Slow Burner Date… the one you weren’t sure about on first meeting but over time you suspect it’s turning to love!

Ostara Tarot

Ostara Tarot – I bought this tarot because I was attracted to the artwork, but owned it for over a year before eventually using the deck for the first time. There was just something about this deck that I felt I needed to hold off on. Then, a year ago in November I finally pulled it out and used it for the full month and didn’t want to stop using it even at the end of the month. This is extremely rare for me as I usually want to rotate out to use different decks pretty regularly.

3: The Blind Date… because we are impulsive humans and sometimes we just rush in! Who did you date without looking or thinking?

Raja Tarot

The Raja Tarot – I saw exactly three cards in this deck when I bought it. All three cards were majors, and that was it. No one had pictures of this deck up to view. The creator didn’t either. I had an impulsive “fuck it” moment and bought it, and it was the worst purchase I’d ever made. Jesus… it’s bad. The cardstock is bad, the pips are bad… even the tuckbox is crap. So yeah. Bad. Bad bad date.

4: The Rebound Date… the one you keep going to break up with but keep being pulled back together!

Liz Dean's Golden Tarot

Liz Dean’s Golden Tarot – I have gotten rid of this deck and had it come back to me multiple times. I bought it from Amazon, gave it away, found it at a thrift store for $4 and bought it, edged it… gave it away. Found it at a GoodWill in Ontario Canada and bought it again. It just comes back again and again. This last visit from my rebound date, I’ve trimmed off the borders and titles to make it image only.

5: The Surprise Love Affair Date… the one you thought would be just ok but from first meeting it was love at first sight that took you by surprise!

Tarot of the Hidden Realm

Tarot of the Hidden Realm – When I ordered this deck, I really didn’t expect the reaction I had to it. I thought the artwork was lovely, and was interested because of it, but didn’t think it would be anything particularly overly special. Then I opened the box and touched the cards and it was so…. perfect. The art. The energy. The cardstock. The energy. I’d never felt anything like the energy I felt in these cards when I got them in my hands, and this is my very first “soul deck” connection. I’d been reading tarot for 15 years at that point, which just goes to show, sometimes surprises happen even to the well seasoned readers.

6: The “Not My Type” Date… the one you went on thinking it wasn’t really your cup of tea but what the hell… what happened?

Thoth Tarot Golden Edition

Aleister Crowley’s Golden Thoth – Right… so… I find Lady Freda Harris’ artwork to be extremely disturbing. It gives me really bad vibes and prolonged exposure (over a few minutes) can give me nausea and cold sweats. I bought this deck with every intention of studying the Thoth and exploring the system at length along with its original artwork. But I was never able to get over extremely visceral reaction to the artwork. I still own it, but probably won’t for much longer so I suppose this also could have gone down into the next category, but another Thoth style deck takes that slot.

7: The “I May Have To Delete Your Number” Date… the one that really didn’t work but you still haven’t broken up with yet, what’s stopping you?

Tabula Mundi Tarot en Minima

Tabula Mundi Tarot in Minima – This one doesn’t give me the same bad/uncomfortable vibes as the Crowley Thoth, but there’s something about the artwork that bothers me and I find myself often confused when I look at the cards in this deck. This is a weird sensation for me. I’ve been reading tarot for over 18 years, and reading imagery cards for years more… and yet these cards are just so confusing to me and no amount of familiarizing myself with them seems to solve the problem. For some inexplicable reason, I haven’t quite given up on them yet tho.

8: The Forever Love… True love… ok this one might be on the favourites list too but I’m curious and couldn’t resist!

Herbal Tarot

Herbal Tarot – I could have put one of my soul decks here, but if I’m entirely honest? Even though this is not one of my soul decks, it will forever hold my deep and abiding love. This was my second tarot deck and I have worn out multiple copies of it over the years. It’s diverse, multi-national, and there are a number of androgynous characters presented in the imagery. And… it’s all about plants. Unlike my very first tarot deck, which was horrible, this deck made sense to me immediately and was easy to read from the start.

9: The Stormy On/Off Date… the one you can’t stay away from, equal parts passion, lust and fighting! The one you have to have a break from but can’t stay away from either!

Tarot of the Sidhe

Tarot of the Sidhe – I find the artwork in this deck garish, and sometimes abrasive. And yet… there’s something about this deck that draws me back again and again. I’m not sure what it is, but I can’t help reaching for it in the summer months, even if I can only use it a few times before having to set it back on the shelf again.

10: The Friends With Benefits Date… who can you run to without commitment whenever you just have a need for them? The one who always just slots right back in like you’ve never been apart?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Hanson Roberts Tarot – This was my third ever tarot deck, and like the Herbal Tarot mentioned above, I have worn out multiple copies of this deck over the years. There’s just something very “coming home” about picking up this deck and working with it. The artwork, the faces, the colors… it’s like a close friend giving a warm hug.

Battening Down the Hatches

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IMG_8568Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching. 

The topic of today’s meditation was about gratitude and love, and how getting in touch with those emotions can create a sense of peace and calm when one is stuck in moments of chaotic thought or dealing with sensory overwhelm.

This is an interesting approach, as usually when I am feeling chaotic and overwhelmed, I pause to take a deep breath, or even a moment’s calm meditation… but I’ve never thought of really bringing in gratitude into the practice.  This is definitely something I’m going to need to try the next time I need to calm down from chaotic moments.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Nine of WandsToday’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of “standing guard” over what is important to you, setting strong boundaries, and having the courage and resilience to stand strong when one is being tested.

I think that I’m going to need to read the book for this deck in order to help me reconcile some of the artwork in the deck with the specific tarot cards that the imagery is placed on. I struggled a bit with the Ace of Cups… and this one, as well. I think that it will help to at least skim through the book in order to get a better feel of where the artist is going in connecting artwork to the cards.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card today, though, does actually fit with the traditional meaning of the Nine of Wands.  It is in the expression on the features of the figure among the leaves.  It’s an expression of determination that says “I will not stand down, and I will not falter”.

I guess that it is because he is “of the green” that I’m thrown off by the imagery here in contrast to the traditional meaning.  Which is fine, and usually doesn’t bother me but for some reason, in this deck, I feel the need for them to connect and make sense.

The message in today’s card is to remember what you’re “fighting for”.  What is it that’s important to you?  Are you taking the precautions and steps necessary to keep those things and people safe?  It’s time to examine what you’re doing in this area and ensure everything is where it needs to be.  (It’s also a reminder to renew my Nest subscription.)

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you feel you deserve?

5 Cent Tarot 2nd EditionReading Summary: *Wincing as the cards go all ugly as they echo the negative inner narrative in his head.*

The more “in charge” I strive to be (The Emperor), the more anxiety and worry (Nine of Needles) I deserve to have clouding my judgement (Ace of Needles Rx) and creating confusion which keeps me frozen in indecision (Two of Needles Rx).

Take Away: Failure. Specifically, failure bred through my own ineptitude. 

I knew that in doing this reading there was a risk my negative inner voice would be given a loud speaker, but… damn.  I wasn’t really expecting it to be quite so ugly. Not that I’m not aware how ugly it can be but, I feel… exposed.

DECK USED:  5 CENT TAROT 2ND EDITION