Daily Meditation

Chocolate Cake

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Today’s meditation was skipped because nobody would leave me the hell alone this morning.  I swear to god some days the girls are so totally self sufficient, and then other days?  Every five seconds they’re in my hair bugging the fuck out of me.  Although… Z did make chocolate cake this morning.  So she’s forgiven.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Nine of CupsSpeaking of chocolate cake…

Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is about obtainment and completion in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.  This card is about emotional contentment, and taking time to be grateful and enjoy a sense of satisfaction in where you are at.

On Wednesday, I did a reading about whether I live to eat or eat to live, and here we have a card that is, in its depths, very much a “live to eat” card at its core.  It’s about enjoying what you have, finding pleasure and peace in the moment… and the imagery very much makes me think of eating cake.

The message in today’s card is to savor the good stuff.  Don’t let those things and experiences go to waste.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Neptune Question: A dream, hope, or desire I am asked to feed, or honor {more}.

Ring Cycle Tarot

A Dream I Am Asked To Feed – Emperor (Wotan) – Independence and strength, but with the balance of a softer and more understanding edge. Independence has always been my dream, and one I feed regularly, but that softer edge is new and something I have been working on over this past year.  Learning to find that softness and encourage it is something that needs constant fostering.

A Hope I Am Asked To Feed – Two of Nibelungs – Working off my mortgage is something I’ve been focused on for a very long time and I have a timeline on that I’ve been hoping to stick to.  I’m creeping toward the end stretch of my mortgage over the next few years and I need to keep this hope alive by feeding it and not giving up on it regardless of the state of the world.

A Desire I Am Asked To Feed – Two of Gibichungs – Balance and fairness in all things is something that I am constantly in need of.  When things are unfair and imbalanced, I struggle under the weight of this knowledge and a nearly righteous need to fix it and make it better. No matter how much some may look down upon this need, it is not a bad thing and is a directive that comes straight from my moral compass. Don’t be shy about these values.

A Dream I Am Asked To Honor – Six of Gibichungs – This card echos the above theme of fairness, but here we see a need to foster it not just one individual case at a time but within a community where all understand and treasure the fairness that is fostered and grows there.  There have been many times that my personal need for fairness is all about a personal drive, in this case I am asked to honor the dream within myself that such fairness would be valued by all and that everyone would work together to sustain it.

A Hope I Am Asked To Honor – Justice (Wotan’s Spear) – We reap what we sow, and in my heart?  I hope that this is true.  I hope that, through the workings of the balance of the universe, the truly horrible and evil people in the world really do reap the pain and misery that they have sown. If not in this life, than upon their spirit to be carried forward into the next.  To honor this hope, it is important to remember that you don’t always have to right the wrongs yourself… you instead need to foster the faith that the universe will do that for you.

A Desire I Am Asked To Honor – Nine of Nibelungs – I desire to trust.  I look back on the innocence and naivete that I had a decade or more ago… and sometimes I ache for that gleaming golden faith that has been scored and chipped and peeled away over time.  I used to have such faith in people as a whole… and I miss it. I understand I cannot go back, but I hope to never lose the memory of that time and, as a result, become truly and irretrievably jaded.

DECK USED:  RING CYCLE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my love life.

Ride or Wait TarotReading Summary: Lean on Gideon as needed (King of Cups) and depend on him to keep hope and positivity alive (The Star) rather than retreating into yourself or hiding from him (Four of Cups Rx).

Take Away: It’s so damned hard for me to reach out sometimes and I really don’t understand why.  It’s not as if he’s going to look down on me for needing him.  If anything, any time I express my need of him, he is ready to leap into action and be there for me with eagerness, love, and strength.  

And yet, my first reaction when I need support or a pick-me-up?  Is to sink into myself rather than reach out to him… even after being together over twelve years now.   Why is that?

Obviously, this is a good reminder… and one I need to hear pretty often, especially in times of stress.

DECK USED:  RIDE OR WAIT TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What or who in my life is draining my energy?

Oak Ash & Thorn Tarot

What in my life is draining my energy?
Page of Swords atop Nine of Swords, Six of Pentacles

My ambition and worries that I’m not doing enough. This has been especially troubling for me this fall, as I have procrastinated a good deal of the fall away without getting my shit done as I should have.  For some reason, even fighting against the lethargy of the weight of that procrastination, I couldn’t manage to get my ass in gear.

Who in my life is draining my energy?
Extra Card (In the Weeds) and Queen of Pentacles

Those that are dependent on me are draining my energy at the moment, although through no fault of their own, but rather because I’m not getting away enough for some alone time in nature. Self care is sometimes such a fucking pain in the ass and it feels like a waste of time… and then I don’t do it and end up in a situation of self harm through neglect as a result.

DECK USED:  OAK ASH & THORN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How have I acted on that advice given to me from yesterday’s reading?

Puppet Theatre Tarot

Reading Summary:  Developed strength of determination (King of Wands) combined with a built up strength of foundation in home and finances (King of Pentacles) allows me to then use these things I’ve learned to better assist others than I could have otherwise (Six of Cups)

Take Away: Yesterday’s advice was about looking after myself before others, and thus by putting myself first.  Here we see that in having helped myself first and become strong both in my determination and my foundations, I then am able to help others in more effective ways later.  Sometimes those you refused to help earlier in life aren’t able to forgive that refusal, and you have to allow for those “spilled milk” people and let go of them so that you can use your resources to instead help those that are open to your assistance in the ways you chose to help.

DECK USED:  PUPPET THEATRE TAROT

Taking A Pause

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Today’s meditation was another of the musical immersion efforts involving my synesthesia, and I just don’t think it’s going to work out.  For the second time I ended up dozing off during the process, and I have a feeling that if I am using music that creates pleasurable responses, that will continue to be the case.  I’ll have to switch back to another method tomorrow.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The LoversToday’s draw is the Lovers card, which is traditionally a representation of not just love, romance, and marriage as it is often interpreted by many, but also about choices and making positive choices that are good for you. This choices interpretation leans into the Marseilles tarot meanings, but I find it applies far more often to the Lovers card when the card pops up for me in readings than the love and relationship aspect.

What stands out to me the strongest in this photo is not one specific element so much as the overall atmosphere of the image. I see gentle warmth and tenderness that speaks of a heart connection, and a hint of wistfulness that speaks to me of nostalgia and daydreams.

The message here in today’s card is that sometimes it’s okay to pause and take a moment, to give yourself a moment to “smell the roses” and allow yourself to consider what influences your decisions and the way forward from this moment rather than leaping ahead recklessly or thoughtlessly.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Jupiter Question: How can I {further} focus on the good that surrounds me, or the good that is within?

Elemental Tarot

How can I further my focus on the good that surrounds me?
Seven of Swords atop Eight of Swords, Queen of Pentacles

Don’t allow the ass hats and betrayals of the world to close your eyes to the generosity and positivity that is out there.   Sometimes, especially when wounds are fresh, it can be hard to not turn away from people and tempting to turn into yourself in order to protect yourself from further pain.  By closing your eyes to the warmth and care others can provide, though, you do yourself more harm than good.

How can I further my focus on the good that is within me?
Nine of Pentacles, Four of Chalices atop Eight of Pentacles Rx

Practice gratitude for what you have, and don’t work yourself so hard that you forget to rest and meditate.  Without rest and restoration, you can’t focus on anything, let alone delve into appreciation for what’s good within yourself.   In order to find this focus you need rest, and you need to appreciate your accomplishments and what you’ve done well.  These practices allow you to feel a sense of pride and foster a bit more kindness for yourself.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Greatest Strength / Greatest Weakness / Finding Balance

Antique Anatomy Tarot Mass Market VersionGreatest Strength – Four of Pentacles atop Wheel of Fortune – Finding stability in the chaos is one of your greatest strengths. This isn’t to say that the chaos does not affect you, but rather that you are able to ground your feet and stay centered far better than most would expect.

Greatest Weakness – King of Rods – Your excessive amount of creative spark and drive can cause a bit of a problem.  You repeatedly fool yourself into believing you have more “shoulder space” for responsibility than you actually do, and thus as that sense of creative spark and drive push you forward, you repeatedly overburden yourself trying to take on too much.

Finding Balance – Knight of Elixirs – Pick and choose the projects and responsibilities that truly speak to your heart, instead of just triggering the inspirational spark within you.  Inspiration is all well and good, but you need to involve more than that in your decision making in order to cut down on the things that you take on.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT – MASS MARKET VERSION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the best piece of advice I have ever received?

Delos Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes you have to look after yourself before others (Six of Pentacles) in order to build a secure (Four of Pentacles) and stable (Two of Pentacles) future.

Take Away:  Not the advice that I personally would’ve chosen as the best piece of advice I’ve ever received… and yet it is a really good one. When I was young I wanted to save the world from unfairness. If I had not been given the advice to take care of myself first prior to helping others and taken that advice to heart, I’d still be living in the backseat of an old Buick with no tires in a dark Seattle alleyway. Okay… so probably not the Buick specifically, but close enough.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

The Choking Point

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Today’s meditation was a try at the musical immersion meditation involving my synesthesia, which started off all well and good… until I fell asleep.   I’ll try again tomorrow.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ten of WandsToday’s draw is the Ten of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of overwhelm, overburdening, and other themes to do with either taking on too much or having too much thrust upon you.

What stands out to me the strongest in this imagery is first, the sprouting leaves at the top of each of the wands she carries.   And second?  Her rather ineffective way of handling the five wands. This second point is something that often sticks out to me in the imagery on the Ten of Wands, because seriously?  The more organized you go about doing things, the more things you can manage at one time, and that definitely also applies to carrying a bunch of sticks.

That said (because that’s not the message of today, just my own Type A neurosis poking its head out), the leaves are the real message in today’s card.  Each staff is sprouting new growth, and they are very clustered together.  Just like when you plant seeds too close to each other, this means as plants grow from these seeds, they are then put in a competitive situation and will strangle each other out, killing each other off for the resources that they need.

So too is how responsibilities and projects go.  You can only juggle so much before these things begin competing for the attention and resources needed to continue to thrive.

Make sure you are giving those things you put your focus and drive towards have the attention they need to thrive, and the room they need to grow.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Jupiter Question: A reminder of something I can be grateful of/for, or something that could greatly help me right now.

The Sabbath Tarot

A Reminder of Something I Can Be Grateful For
Warden of Disks, Two of Swords atop Nine of Cups

I can be grateful for the fact that multitasking is possible. It’s okay to continue to go after my practical goals, even as I make choices that foster my emotional growth.  It’s okay to be both driven and content at the same time.  As opposing as the two things may seem, they are not mutually exclusive and there is no need to choose one or the other.

A Reminder of Something That Could Greatly Help Me Right Now
Five of Staves atop Ten of Cups, The Demiurge

Although it’s okay and possible to have both.  Don’t forget that sometimes you may have to fight harder for one or the other.  Right now, while you strive for that practical advancement, you also need to make sure you are fighting for the right of your emotions to still thrive.  One is a focus… the other is a fight.  Both are needed for the path forward and the Demiurge encourages you to make sure even as the balance may dip one way or another that you keep both in mind moving forward so that neither is lost in the weeds.

Take Away:  You know what you want and you have the drive to get there, just don’t lose sight of what is important along the way.

DECK USED:  THE SABBATH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Do you live to eat, or eat to live?

Emerging from Darkness TarotReading Summary: Here we have emotional contentment (Ten of Cups), emotional connections to the past which in this case are positive (Six of Cups), and emotional celebration with those close to your heart (Three of Cups).  The cards are all about emotions and pleasure in the past, the present as well as the future.

Take Away: So, let’s be clear. My addictive personality makes it glaringly obvious that I live to eat. My brain is hard wired to latch on to pleasurable experiences and ride them into the ground. Add on to this the fact that I’m also an emotional eater, and if I didn’t have a metabolism that required me to consume a minimum of 6000 calories a day? I’d be as big as a house.

The cards here play this out beautifully, for it is through pleasure that I find my addictions, and many of those addictions are rooted in a need to self soothe or find an emotional balm of some sort.  I understand the psychology of it.  And honestly?  If food didn’t taste good?  I wouldn’t eat.

DECK USED:  EMERGING FROM DARKNESS TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: Where in my life am I holding too tightly?

Golden Tarot by Kat Black

Reading Summary: My tendency (The Devil) to want to control every little thing (The Magician) is obstructing my path rather than facilitating my journey (Three of Wands Rx).

Take Away: That’s a really big thing to try and loosen my grip on.  *Chuckles*  Okay so I get it.  I get how holding on too tight can be smothering and even crushing.  I’m just not sure if I’m capable of loosening that grip, to be honest.  That need to be in control is pretty overpowering.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN TAROT BY KAT BLACK

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is my role in my family?

Bosch Tarot

Reading Summary: To take uncertainty (The Moon) and turn it into something we can excel at together (Eight of Pentacles), which in others then fosters a feelings (Ace of Cups) of contentment (Nine of Cups) and feelings of safety and security (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that I am the glue that helps hold us all together and inspires us to work together.  That then creates a feeling of community and comfort for everyone, bonding us together to create a home that feels both safe and satisfying.

DECK USED:  BOSCH TAROT

Squishy On The Inside

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Today’s meditation was skipped this morning because the girls wouldn’t leave me alone.  They were driving me nuts. Even when I asked them to leave me alone for a bit, they couldn’t seem to resist being distracted. So yeah… I’ll do it tonight before I go to bed.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of leadership and authority, structure and stability, as well as themes that have to do with “the establishment” and a classic “father figure” type of energy.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the sleeping prince in the throne while the Emperor sits on a rock watching over him and entertaining the fox.

What I see here in this imagery is protection and care.  What I see here in this picture is the love that someone can have for those that seek out their help.  The love of a caregiver that carries many, many responsibilities.

The message here is that even those that are too busy or seem formidable sometimes have the kindest hearts, and only need the right opportunity to allow that kindness to shine through. Don’t be fearful of these people, for they are human too.  Maybe you won’t get the chance to see that soft kindness that resides within their hearts, but never doubt that it’s there waiting for the right moment to break free.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Uranus Question: How can I use the energy of Capricorn in Uranus in my chart to help me discover and learn new things?

Tarots Egyptiens

Reading Summary: Keep in mind how long things will take (Seven of Coins) to get done when plotting and planning (Two of Wands) for your hearts desires (Nine of Cups), and that you will reap what you’ve sown along the way (Judgement).

Take Away:  It’s not about the end goal, but about the journey and what you do to get there along the way. No matter what I’m learning, it’s important to remember that everything takes time and those things that take the longest to learn are often the ones that are the most awarding in the end.

DECK USED:  TAROTS EGYPTIENS ANIMA ANTIQUA

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Let Go / Find Support / Dig Deeper

ICER Intuitive Art TarotLet Go – Eight of Fire – Slow down. Being constantly leaning full tilt into what you’re focused on is exhausting. Make sure you are taking breaks and breathers.  Make sure you are taking time for yourself, and that means not just physically but also mentally.  Meditation and forest walks are only going to help if you let yourself release that desperate need to push and push and do more and more.  Let it go and take a breath.

Find Support – Wheel of Fortune – Get help with the chaos. At this time of year things are moving so fast that it can be hard to find your center and keep your balance. Instead of standing at the center of the wheel while the  thing spins around you, you are standing at the edge and the centrifugal force is trying to knock you on your ass.  You have others in your life willing to help you stay on you feet… reach for the help they’re offering.

Dig Deeper – The World – There’s more to life than work. Don’t forget to look up and look around, and ultimately remember where you are going and the path you have chosen beyond the work you do each day.  There is more to life than work.  Your path and your growth are important too.

DECK USED:  ICER INTUITIVE ART TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do people most often misunderstand me?

Edgar Allan Poe Tarot

Reading Summary: When I’m trying to help others (Six of Pentacles), but I’m too emotionally invested (Queen of Cups Rx) and/or I’m doing it for the wrong reasons (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  When trying to help others, it can be frustrating when they won’t listen, willfully only hear what they want to hear, or refuse to accept the help being offered. There are times, if I am emotionally invested in helping them, that this can turn into a tug of war as I try harder to make myself clear and they try harder to remain oblivious (or obtuse).   In these times, my emotional investment is working against me and creating disappointment and struggle, which in turn creates even more misunderstanding as my motives then come into question.

DECK USED:  EDGAR ALLAN POE TAROT

The Secrets We Keep

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IMG_7811Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of the guided part of the meditation was gratitude, and how it is possible to find peace and contentment in the moment if you stop comparing what you have against what you don’t.

I think that this is a really valid concept, in a general sense.   Maybe in a more than general sense, although I think that there are some situations (extreme situations) where even without comparison to something better or expectation of something better, you just cannot find contentment or bliss in the moment.

In general, though?  I agree with this concept.  Most people experience discontent specifically because they are comparing what they have to what others have or to what they want, or think they should have.

Traditional Manga Tarot - The High PriestessToday’s draw is the High Priestess card, which is traditionally an interpretation of strong inner knowledge, intuition, esoteric spirituality, and the subconscious.

The only thing that really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the coloring, and I’m not sure that there’s a message there so much as that the shift from purple to yellow feels… incongruous.

I take that back.  The longer that I look at this imagery today (and I have returned back to looking at it many, many times today) is that her eyes appear to be red, and yet her posture is very straight and still and proper.  It is another “clash” to me, but one that speaks of an inner fire not visible from the exterior.

Sometimes, we have to stay silent on our beliefs.  Sometimes, for our own safety, it’s important to be innocuous and keep your thoughts, belief, and knowledge to yourself.  I too have been exposed to these times… and the card here is a warning to watch out for them.  Don’t be careless and have it result in becoming a victim.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Uranus Question: Something that truly makes me unique, or something that can support my individuality.

Druidcraft Tarot

Something That Truly Makes Me Unique

Prince of Pentacles atop Six of Swords – My ability to know what is right for me and go after it while leaving behind what isn’t working. I see so many people that are unable to figure out what is right for them and stew in confusion and indecision whenever such opportunities to do so are presented to them.  It’s something… I am unable to grasp.

My question is…. it that really so common that my knowing what’s right for me and discarding what isn’t becomes something unique?

Something That Can Support My Individuality

Queen of Swords atop Six of Pentacles –  Sharing with others my thoughts and perspectives in an effort to guide them on their own path.  This doesn’t just support my own individuality, but helps others in theirs as well.  I don’t expect anyone to follow in  my footsteps or believe what I believe.  Instead, I encourage others to hear what I have to say and choose what sounds and feels right for them. 

DECK USED:  DRUIDCRAFT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

Multi-Stabber TarotKing of Swords – There was once a crotchety old man living in a care home that was extremely good at making people believe what he wanted them to believe and go after what he wanted them to go after.  He ruled over the home like a king would rule over his kingdom, and everyone, including the nurses, both admired his strength and knowledge, but feared his wrath.

Queen of Pentacles – One day a new nurse came to the care home, and she moved around the place like a breath of fresh air, caring for everyone with a kindness that was also steady and strong and took no shit.  Every time he would try to get her to go against the rules and bring him ice cream even though he’s diabetic, or let him smoke out the window instead of going outside, she would put him back in his place with firm strength and love.

Eight of Cups – He watched her as she worked, trying to figure her out, and the more he watched her the more he realized how much she gave of herself every day.  He realized that she gave so much more than she ever received from anyone, and especially him.  With each day this realization sank in, he became less of a crotchety old man with her and more of a friendly father figure and in time they came to not just like each other, but love each other like family.

DECK USED:  MULTI-STABBER TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What is 2020’s greatest opportunity for my personal growth?

Mary El Tarot First Edition

Reading Summary: Finding ways to incorporate more positivity and joy (The Sun) into the exploration of new projects (Ace of Wands) and new opportunities (Ace of Disks).

Take Away:  This is one of the issues I’ve been working at throughout the year.  It’s about positivity.  It’s about optimism.  And that is something that I struggle with.  But as I’ve worked this spring and summer on my emotional growth, a part of that has included finding more joy and more positivity in how I view the world around me.  I don’t think that this is a journey that I have completed by any means (thus the Aces), but rather it is the first step.  The inkling of possibility that will allow for growth with some tending and attention.

DECK USED:  MARY EL TAROT 1ST EDITION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What have I learned so far from my life challenges?

Sweeney Tarot

The Hermit – Self reflection is good, but retreat is not always healthy. There is a fine balance between the light and the darkness, and it’s important to keep that balance intact so that when you need alone time it can be healthy alone time that is good for you and assists in the centering and grounding you need.  When the light and the dark are not in balance, that alone time becomes self destructive.

Six of Cups atop The Hierophant – Sharing my experience and knowledge with others creates positive memories for me and a positive experience to look back on later. These memories help to put distance between myself and the unpleasant memories from earlier in my life, providing me with positive ones to focus on instead that can build me up (as opposed to the negative ones that try to tear me down).

The Fool – It’s okay to indulge in playing the fool sometimes. Just don’t overdo it. Being silly and optimistic isn’t something I find particularly easy the majority of the time. I’ve learned, though, that there’s nothing wrong with it in those times I’m able to find it and sink into it.

DECK USED:  SWEENEY TAROT

Be Kind to Yourself

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IMG_7799Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  The topic of today’s guided meditation was about living in the present instead of allowing plans for the future or thoughts of the past to distract you away from the pleasure and joy of what you could be experiencing in the moment.

This is something that I struggle with quite a bit, although I’ve found that meditation and my time in the forest, as well as my time using my camera, all help me in this.  It’s hard to find that focus on the present. But in those moments? It’s easier.

The meditation’s guide says that the more you take in these moments in the ways you are able, the more you are able to then carry them out into your life in other ways as well. I hope that’s true, as I find a great deal of peace in those moments, and I’d love to be able to spread that peace further into my life.

Tarot of the Little Prince - King of SwordsToday’s draw is the King of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, logic, education, intellect, and communication.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the positioning of the sword’s tip. I’m not sure if this was the intention of the artist or not, but the sword tip looks like it’s about to impale the fox.

The fox is a good symbol for the King of Swords, who is someone that is both cunning and intelligent, and good at strategy and inspiring others. This makes my thought about the fox being at risk having to do more with the ruthless expression and posture of the man in the image, rather than the fox itself.

There is a time and a place for ruthlessness, but there are also many more times (and places) when such energy is unnecessary and unwarranted. I am not particularly ruthless with others, but… I can’t say the same for myself.  And what I see in this card is exactly that.

I see a man that has become ruthless with himself, and is ready to kill off the fun loving part of himself. He believes that in killing off this part of himself, he can become even smarter, even more powerful, and even more clever. Instead, by killing this part of himself off, he will become less… not more.

The message here is to be kind to myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #3

Ring Cycle TarotFate – Five of Gods – You are left on my own to struggle in the absence of a direction that would move your feet forward. By having your own autonomy to move as you see fit, you allow your spirit sustenance. We all die in the end, but you are willing to earn what you need to survive and thrive until that time comes.

Destiny – Hierophant – The element of destiny is influencing your life in that it is there to teach you. You are the perpetual student and although destiny does not control every step you take and every thing you do, its lessons are a constant companion at your side on each step of your path.

Chance – Two of Nibelungs – Chance is a cruel taskmaster in your life and crashes down around you in unfortunate and unpleasant ways like waves upon a shore.  There is no balance, and there is no kindness.  Only trials you will either buckle under, or overcome.

DECK USED:  RING CYCLE TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What physical, daily routines and habits should I introduce in order to help me find better balance in my life?

Scorpio Sea Tarot

Knight of Wands atop Wheel of Fortune – Get out into nature, no matter rain or shine.

That would be an amazing thing if it was something I could do daily, and perhaps after the holiday season I can work on that becoming more of a reality. Right now, though? I’ll just have to aim for going out into nature as much as possible… although the “no matter if it’s rain or shine” part is not a problem at all. Weather rarely is a dissuading factor in whether I’m going into the woods or not.  Mosquitoes on the other hand… yeah.

The Magician atop The Lovers Rx – Use the tools at your disposal to make sure that you’re making good choices and not sabotaging yourself.

Self sabotage is a real problem for me, and ties into my self-destructive tendencies.  It’s one of those things I have to watch out for and do my best to keep track of.  And that includes my less recognized but no less relevant self-sabotaging behaviors.

Two of Cups – Make sure you’re connecting with your loved ones and seeking their help.

This ties in to the previous cards in that a part of my tools to help me with my self sabotaging behavior are my friends and loved ones.  That is not the only way in which they help me, though.  As there is also the emotional support they provide, and the actual physical help that they provide in getting things done, which is extremely important in and of itself at this time of the year.

DECK USED:  SCORPIO SEA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the one problem I would like to solve in my life?

Savran Forest Tarot

Reading Summary: I want to find the control within myself (The Emperor) to be able to see beyond my pessimistic ways (Four of Cups) into a different perspective (The Hanged Man).

Take Away:  The one problem that I would like to solve in my life (at least at this time) is my pessimism.  Not that I entirely want it to go away, as I think that a good dose of pessimism is healthy and keeps you safe. But, I want to see more than just that.  I want to see other angles.  Positive angles.  And ultimately, a more rounded view where my pessimism is just a small part of the whole rather than the star of the show.

DECK USED:  SAVRAN FOREST TAROT