Look Up… Keep Going

IMG_0229Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and was another of the shorter guided meditations on the Calm app, which I paired with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The focus of today’s meditation was about how sometimes we hurt ourselves more by struggling against pain and unpleasantness than we would by just going with the flow.  It is how, for example, if you were to step on an animal trap and it went off and caught your leg. The initial pain is bad enough, but then you begin to thrash and struggle in its grip and in the process cause yourself more pain and more damage.

In this way, sometimes when we resist change or fight against experiences that we don’t like or that hurt us in some way, we end up causing more pain to ourselves than if we had just taken a moment to pause and breathe through it.

Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of seedling spark of new ideas, new aspirations, new educational pursuits, and new interests.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card is the spade on the sleeve of the arm holding the sword.  It’s such a small thing, and yet this tiny detail adds another element to this card that resonates with me.  The reason for this is in cartomancy, the Ace of Spade often represents death and the process of something in your life having to “slough off” to make way for something new.  Normally this is something I would associate with the Ten of Swords, but here we see the cycle that begins after that death is complete.  The new opportunity to do things different… to do them better this time around.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that each day is a new day.  An opportunity.   Each day you can be better than you were the day before.  Each day you can find a different way, a new way, to approach the day and the struggles that lie before you.  Instead of looking down at the ground, remember to look up (based off the rays in the sky in the Ace). Keep your chin up and keep going.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SEVENFOLD MYSTERY AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
: In what way am I asked to nurture or replenish myself?

Whimsical Tarot

 Reading Summary:  Slow down (Empress over the Devil).  Your enthusiasm for your addictions (Queen of Rods and The Devil) are being spurred to greater heights by the reawakening of your emotions (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  It’s time to do a bit of financial replenishment.  Although this doesn’t mean cutting out on decks entirely, it does mean that it’s time to slow down a bit.  Don’t allow emotions to drive your pleasures and addictions over the line into being unhealthy.   This isn’t just about decks, but covers the crap ass food you’ve been eating as well.  This is not good for you either in excess.

Although broken down through these four cards, this could have been communicated just as easily by handing over the Temperance card. The cards broke it down to make sure that the message couldn’t be misconstrued.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What are my strengths when dealing with others?

Tarot of the Sevenfold MysteryReading Summary: I am clever (Seven of Swords), passionate (Queen of Wands) and easy to learn from (Lady of Pentacles).

Take Away: I am extremely biased and blind when looking at myself and how I am perceived by others.  What they see is not at all what I see, and in this manner, I can’t tell if these cards are accurate or not. 

That said, what I see here in these cards is that I have a grounded energy that make me approachable to others and easy to learn off of even by those that are not in my life to learn from me.  A part of this is because I appear cunning and clever, which stirs up people’s interest, and because I am well seated in my passions and experienced in them.  The latter gives me the ability to speak on these things with authority and passion, sparking the interest and inspiration in others as a result.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SEVENFOLD MYSTERY

Daily Self Kindness

I have been wanting to experiment with a new idea for reading cards, and in order to do that I needed to have some people to test out my idea on.   I’ve been putting it off because of my recovery, but I’ve been eager to give it a go.  Today I gave out a number of free readings (nine, to be exact) in order to test the readability of my idea.  Out of the nine test readings performed, I only had one that was hit-or-miss, and I think that was less about the cards and more about difficulty connecting with that person’s energy. I would consider this test a success, and I enjoyed it.

Support Structures Are There For A Reason

Today’s meditation was non-existent yet again.  Just too much to do, too many places to go, and when I finally got a moment to stop and take a breath, the nap was way more needed so I went that route instead.

Whimsical Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seeds of a beginning in the areas of one’s intellect, education, aspirations, and communication with others. This often translates into themes to do with new areas of research, new methods of communication or new people to communicate with, new jobs or projects where you are learning something new, etc.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the moon phases that are etched into the blade, which for me represents a specific period of time (29.5 days, to be exact).  As my readings are so often predictive and this one feels the same, what I see here is in reference to the car accident I had on Wednesday and the great deal of communication going on between myself, the insurance company, my medical support team, and my attorney.

Combined with the (oh so very cute as fuck) Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a personal message indicating that there is going to be about a month of pretty intense communication before anything gets resolved.  Which… is fine.  I’m not particularly fond of spending time dealing with all these people, but I have a good support structure in place and I know that with some patience everything will get dealt with and cared for.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
: If my shadow could talk, what would it say to me?

Otto Schmidt Tarot

Reading Summary: My shadow would say “I want to be happy and secure (Ten of Pentacles) and a part of the process and path (Ace of Wands). Give your inner critic (Judgement Rx) a break (Four of Swords) and make me a priority (King of Wands).”

Take Away:  My shadow does not want to be put back in the box and buried in the dark.  It is reaching for the light just as I am in my efforts to rise out of my depression, except in my shadow’s case it was imprisoned for much, much longer. It wants to work on finding balance and happiness and a path forward that is less about nagging at the self and self-abuse, and more about prioritizing self-care… including caring for the shadow within.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What area of my life is requiring too much sacrifice?

Whimsical TarotReading Summary: Too much “leaning into” my sense of “my way or the highway” (Five of Rods).  Don’t be impulsive or over confident (Knight of Rods), but instead take things slow and make sure you aren’t being fooled into a false sense of security (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away: I’ve been over-compensating in trying to pretend I’m not worried or stressed concerning the business and the changes that I’m adjusting to in that area.  Although It’s good to be alert and aware, and keep track of things, I need to step back and be less invested here… and less stressed and worried as a result.

By allowing myself to sink too deeply into these issues, I’m becoming too rigid and may find it difficult to adapt when I need to or discern between what is real and what is all in my head.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

As I mentioned above, I took a nap.  It’s an orders day, so that’s not something I would normally allow myself, but I was so tired when I got home from the body shop and doctor that I let myself nap for about two hours.

An Essential Presence

IMG_9703Today’s meditation was just over nineteen minutes long and was the next installment of the Meditation Mantra course being offered on the Oak app. The meditation began today with a bit of visualization first to help in times when getting into meditation can be a bit of a struggle.  I didn’t really enjoy the visualization part all that much, but I did find the rest of the meditation very relaxing and it continues to appear that the longer meditations I’ve been doing over the past week are something  respond better to.

Gregory Scott Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Pentacles, which is about moving beyond being content and satisfied in the area of one’s finances, manifestations, and physical world and moving on to sharing that good fortune with those closest to you so that it becomes something all can relish in and enjoy.

The family portrait aspect of this card is very original and interesting to me, and in the center you see the strength of the man who shares his wealth with his family.  This… is me. The safety and security I have made in my home life, financial life, and comfort I’ve built is shared with my sister and with Z.  Under my roof, they are also secure and cared for, comfortable and feel safe.  It is my role in this home to be the one that creates this… that earns this… and sustains it.

That theme ties in strongly with the Thera-Pets card for today, as it too speaks of how my presence matters, and the message here today is to remember not to take for granted that I matter to others.  I matter to them emotionally, and also on the physical plane.

DECK USED:  GREGORY SCOTT TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
: What unhealthy habits am I holding onto that hinder my growth and progress towards my goals?

Whimsical Tarot

Reading Summary:  The unhealthy habits in question aren’t thoughtlessly done, but rather they are done through making bad choices.  Bad… and conscious choices (The Lovers Rx).   This bad and conscious choice lies within my denial (Four of Cups) and my refusal to allow others to help (Three of Pentacles Rx).

Take Away:  This is about my depression and how my initial reaction is to pretend to the world like everything is fine when it’s really not, and refusal to allow others in to help me in my responsibilities.  Although I am working on this, I did briefly fall into that habit again with this last MDE.  I realized it, and eventually fought against it and forced myself to do things in a more healthy (and open) way.  It might be that this unhealthy habit is something that only repeated practice can truly break me of, but you’ll have to forgive me if I’d rather put off the next MDE for as long as I possibly can.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I improve upon where I am mentally over the week ahead?

Gregory Scott TarotReading Summary:  Focus on the good and what makes you happy (Ten of Cups) instead of on your depression (Three of Swords).  Let go of your worries and anxiety (Nine of Swords).

Take Away: Worries and anxiety have been the theme of the past few days as I prepared for this whole border crossing thing.  The thing is that I used to do this all the time yeah? But I haven’t crossed in a year now, and with Covid there’s so many restrictions and extra paperwork and policies and… god it’s just hugely stressful.

The cards here also indicate that it’s now time to let go of the darkness of my depression. allow it to fade into the background as the light becomes brighter the higher out of the pit  I manage to climb. It has been my focus for a long time, self monitoring my progress and making sure I’m still moving and not stagnant.  The cards here indicate that is no longer necessary and to focus more fully on the light now instead of what I’m leaving behind.

DECK USED:  GREGORY SCOTT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I wanted to skip my meditation today and get on the road, but I made myself do it because I knew it would help my anxiety about crossing the border.