Vindur Tarot

Balance and Moderation

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Today’s meditation was non-existent.  That is because I decided to sleep in.  I’ve been feeling really drained lately, and the majority of my sleep last night was that deep kind of sleep that feels like it didn’t happen?   You know…  you put your head down on the pillow and sleep for 6 hours, but it feels like you only had your eyes closed for five minutes.  That kind of sleep.   So, since I didn’t have to be at the farm this morning, I rolled over and gave Miss Luna a few pets then burrowed in and went back to sleep.

I’ll meditate before bed tonight.

Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Child of Wands and the Explorer of Pentacles (that would traditionally be called the Page of Wands and the Knight of Pentacles).

The cards in today’s draw are an indication that there is a need for stability in my pursuits.  A need to take my time in exploring my direction, my interests, and my passions.   I need to take it slow, one step at a time, and just persevere the pace.

This was something we spoke on earlier briefly in our scab rending, yeah?  The need to stop trying to focus on “all that needs done” and instead work at it one small, simple step at a time.   I will be taking my ideas notebook with me when I go to mom’s next week and I’m going to be using the back of it to list off those small steps so that I can begin working through them once I return home.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What seeds have I already planted this year that will benefit me?

Cat's Eye Tarot

Reading Summary: The examination of my addictions (The Devil) and how they affect different aspects of my life (Six of Swords) in order to take better control of the situation (The Emperor).

Take Away:  I have an addictive personality, and just about anything I enjoy has the potential to become an addiction that can then spiral out of control.  I have to be very careful and watchful at all times of my actions to make sure that doesn’t happen.  Sometimes?  It happens anyway.  One of the things I have begun adjusting with the new year (and will be setting intentions on during Imbolc this year) is finding a better balance between a few of those addictions (deck spending, baked goods and candy, etc) and the realities of everyday life and my well-being.  It’s not that I’ve screwed myself over in any of these areas, but rather that I feel a little more control is necessary to keep it that way.

DECK USED:  CAT’S EYE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Ask the cards to tell you about something funny that will make you smile.

Vindur TarotReading Summary: My mother thinks everything is dandy (Ten of Cups) and she has all of her ducks in a row (Eight of Pentacles), but she’s about to discover shit’s about to hit the fan (The Tower) and she’s going to have to start over building up all that “social credit” that she’s been working at for so long (Page of Cups).

Take Away:  Okay so…. this does make me smile, but it also makes me sad.  The cards indicate that my mother is not going to heed my warnings about trying to set me up with one of her social club “eligibles”.  She is very much of the opinion if I date one of her friend’s sons, it will somehow boost her prestige in her social group.

I warned her that I’ve been in a relationship for nearly twelve years, and I’ve told her numerous times that she’s being disrespectful and to stop… and then the last time, warned her if she didn’t stop I would make sorry.   It looks like, from these cards, that is definitely going to end up happening.

This makes me mad because… it’s my mother and apparently the only time it’s okay that I’m not a testosterone driven straight man is when it can benefit her. It’s about respect, and the lack thereof.

It makes me sad because… it’s my mother, and if I am pushed to going through with my threat, it’s going to hurt her.  That said?  I’ve had enough, and if this is what it takes to make her stop, then that’s what’s going to happen.

It makes me smile because… It’s going to be fun.  Honestly.  I’ve wanted to snub my nose at all that prestige and country club snobbery for decades.  I can’t say that I’m not going to enjoy doing it if it comes down to that.

DECK USED:  VINDUR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I accept help from others?

Vintage Oracle Tarot

Reading Summary:  Let go of rigidity (The Fool) and allow myself to accept that sometimes I need help making difficult decisions (Two of Swords) and that seeking council from others isn’t a bad thing (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  This is pretty clear cut and has been a topic that has come up a lot lately, although I think the talk we had earlier today will help a bit in this specific reoccurring theme.   I’ve been avoiding reaching out and getting help with what’s been going on with me, and as you noticed earlier, it’s pretty much been eating me alive from the inside. 

Thank you for demanding I give you a chance to poke at the wounds and tear off the scars, and for helping me through the emotional outburst that was involved in doing that.  Now… I just need to remember to reach out again… and again… and again.

DECK USED:  VINTAGE ORACLE TAROT

Steady As You Go

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and again was incorporated into my yoga practice.  I know that I don’t get as much out of it when I do it this way, but sometimes it’s just easier, and better than not doing it at all. It’s a good compromise for those days when I probably would have otherwise skipped the meditation practice all together, or tried to put it in at the end of the day, where I get far less from it than doing it with my yoga.

King of Swords - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which is a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality or person in the area of thoughts, logic, intellect, and communication.  This often presents itself as dominance and authority with a side of mental clarity and strong intellectual power.

The King of Swords appearance in today’s draw is a reminder that even with the sense of chaos that new emotions and a new depth of emotions brings with it, I am still capable of being level and grounded in my thinking.  It is a reminder to not allow the emotions to run away with my brain, because I need a balanced center to help me work with and learn from those emotions rather than just experience them without benefit and growth.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How should I approach failures and roadblocks in pursuit of my goals?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  These cards are about security (First Card) and comfort (Second card), and remembering to keep an undercurrent of warmth (Fourth Card) in the face of jagged cold (Third Card).

Take Away:  Road blocks and failures always feel cold to me.  The cards here are a reminder that when you come up against these obstacles in pursuit of my goals, I need to remember to stay grounded, and take comfort in the familiar.   Don’t allow myself to fall into a mindset of degradation against myself, as is so often my first response when things feel like they are falling apart.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a negative thing in your life that you don’t need to stress over?

Vindur Tarot

Reading Summary:  I worry about delving headlong (Knight of Wands) into the new emotions and depths of them I’ve been discovering since last august (The Fool atop the Six of Cups) and how this may change my values in the long run (Ten of Swords atop Judgement).

Take Away:  To be fair, this is more of an intuitive hit off the cards than at all associated with traditional meaning.  It has to do with that depth of emotions that I discovered in the fall, and a worry that in exploring them it might change my values into something more difficult to discern or follow.   Emotions are tricky and unstable things and I don’t particularly want them to have an influence on my moral compass and values.  Considering the question for this reading, the cards are saying that that isn’t something I need to worry about.

DECK USED:  VINDUR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to know to make a change for the better today?

Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: I am stronger than I think (Strength).  I just need to remember to stay grounded within my pursuits (Knight of Pentacles) and “count my blessings” (Ten of Cups).

Take Away: Even as I push myself to always do better and better, I underestimate myself all the time.  It’s a contradiction instilled within me by my parents.  Perfection is not good enough… you have to do even better.  This read is a reminder that perfection lives within imperfection, not despite of it.  I am strong and capable, I just need to remember not to let things get out of hand when I’m pursuing my goals and to practice gratitude and appreciation for all that I currently have.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT

Growth and Uncertainty

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was not guided.  Nor did I listen to music or any other audible agents to help me focus.   Instead, I spent the ten minutes in my regular piriformis stretch, while taking a slow meander through different physical sensations.

This was more of an exploration and appreciation of sensations as a whole, from that of the pain in my hips from the stretch, to the comforting warmth of the blanket I’d draped over my torso, to the cool nip of the air as it entered in through my nose on each breath.   It was very relaxing, and just what I needed.

The Moon - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Moon card, which is the eighteenth card in the Major Arcana, and whose meaning is seated in the themes of uncertainty, confusion, and illusion.

The thing is?   Sometimes uncertainty and confusion has a purpose.   It’s not fun, and it’s not comfortable, but growing pains rarely are.  And sometimes?  That’s what uncertainty and confusion is all about.   Growth.

That’s what I see in the appearance of the Moon in today’s draw.  I see it in the moon in the sky and in the fungi and flowers below reaching up towards the moon’s glow.   When we have moments of uncertainty and confusion, maybe there are times when a better path would be to examine where and why, and take some time exploring that fully… rather than just trying to ignore it or “fix” it.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What gift awaits me in 2020?

Vindur Tarot

Reading Summary: Better financial security (Ten of Coins), but I’ll have to work to get there (Three of Wands) because there is going to be a lot of ups and downs along the way (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  I am actually really surprised at the directness of this deck’s voice, which feels very similar to Lenormand.  Anyway, on to the reading… Sometimes gifts aren’t free, and sometimes?  The gift is in the work itself.   That’s what I see in the cards here.  The gift is not so much about the better financial security, although that is always something that I appreciate.  Instead, the gift is about the work in getting there and the lessons I learn along the way.  Lessons that will teach me how to better deal with those ups-and-downs that life deals out so readily.

DECK USED:  THE VINDUR TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you take too seriously?

Spirit of the Flowers Tarot

Reading Summary:   Short answer?  Myself.   When things get difficult (Five of Pentacles) or uncertain (The Moon), I have a really bad habit of bearing down on myself (The Emperor) and assessing myself too harshly (Judgement).

Take Away:  I am always quite hard on myself, which is something I’m aware of and I know I need to work on.  I am constantly pushing myself to do better, to be better, etc. Uncertainty, especially, incites this reaction from me.  But, the kind of struggles and scarcity issues that the Five of Pentacles represent?  They are absolutely the type to illicit uncertainty in me as well, so it is not so much a different issue, but something that compounds the issue.

DECK USED:  SPIRIT OF THE FLOWERS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What makes my ideal day?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary: Relaxation and the opportunity to delve into (First Card) my creative endeavors (Second Card) without the need to rush or the pressure of others to bother me (Third Card), which allows me to let go of my analytic need for perfection and instead find perfection within imperfections and flow with that mentality (Fourth Card).

Take Away:  For me to actually relax, I need to feel that everything is stable and under control.  The house in the first card indicates this to me.  The turquoise door speaks of everything being well in hand, the box structure one that speaks of stability.  The ladder in the first card speaks of escaping to a secret world, which combined with the overlay of the second card, reinforces that “secret world” feel while the table and art supplies indicate artistic and creative endeavors.

The shelter depicted in the second picture along with the sunset beyond it’s walls speaks of extreme relaxation.  The day is ending and everything is quiet and calm, there is protection provided, which when combined with the warm tones of the sunset creates a sense of comforting protection and warmth.

In the last photo three is the lapping waves and beauty of the landscape, but the surface from which you stand is rickety and falling apart.  Sometimes?   Decay is beautiful.  It’s messy and disorganized and lacks structure… and yet it is its own kind of perfection.  When I am stressed, I have a hard time seeing the beauty in chaos.  When I am relaxed, though, I can not just see it, but also appreciate it.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS