The Tower Card

Sink or Swim

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Today’s meditation was skipped in favor of getting my ass going on orders.  Yes, I know that is a horrible excuse and yet… I’m not going to cover it up.  I made the decision to skip today in order to dive into work and get things done.

Maruco Animal Tarot - The TowerToday’s draw is The Tower card of the Major Arcana (again), which is a representation of sudden and chaotic change.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the two bunnies.  Unlike in most Tower cards where the figures look like they are being thrown from the tower by the force of the blast, these bunnies look to me like they are fleeing.   This speaks to me of the reality that sometimes?  When your boat is sinking it’s time to jump in the water and pray for the best.

It’s not really in my nature to bail on a struggle, but I do understand that sometimes?  Just have to do so.   Especially when you don’t like what’s happening and have no control over the chaos or the outcome.

I feel like this has to do with my expectations. Specifically those to do with humanity’s intelligence as a whole.  Not that I can bail on humanity, but it might be time to bail on the expectation that intelligence is an inherent part of humanity.  At least… that’s what it feels like lately whenever I watch the news.

Or maybe the real message here is to bail on paying so much attention to the news, because every damn time I do?  I become more disappointed in the intelligence level of society and humanity as a whole.   I understand there are small pockets of real thinkers… but jesus… it just seems like there are so many more idiots out there than people using their brains.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me feel more connected or aligned with Self?

Sun and Moon Tarot

Reading Summary: When my plate is full (Ten of Wands) and I am feeling clear headed and in charge (King of Swords) with a sense of inspiration and adventure blowing wind into my sails (Princess of Swords).

Take Away:  It’s only when I am feeling the fog of confusion, fear, or struggling with emotions that carrying a full plate of responsibilities becomes a struggle for me.   When I feel most “myself”, it is when my mind is clear and I’m invigorated with lots to do and a sense of productivity at  play.

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon my self-care at this time?

The Muse TarotReading Summary: Lean your expertise (Eight of Materials) into ideas that inspire you (Ace of Inspiration). Your progress and stability (Imagery in the Muse of Materials) will continue for a while without you in the saddle (Knight of Materials).

Take Away:  The cards here are encouraging me to delve into my new ideas and inspiration instead of focusing so tightly on my financial stability and progress.  It’s okay to take some time away from these stresses that I spend so much of my time and energy focusing on.  It’s okay to delve into other passions and ideas for a bit.  Nothing is going to topple off kilter if you do this for a short time (and perhaps begin to incorporate it into my life in some way to carry it forward in the future as well).

DECK USED:  THE MUSE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: How can I overcome my fear of change?

Mystic Faerie Tarot

Reading Summary: Hope for something better to come (The Star) while taking action to defend (Eight of Wands) what I hold most dear (Three of Pentacles) with all the tools in my arsenal (The Magician).

Take Away:  When change comes around, whether it’s gradual and builds up over time or comes out of the blue with chaos and a cacophony of stress, I have a habit of going immediately to a pessimistic view and start catastrophizing.  I think this is pretty normal for a lot of people, but it isn’t productive and only indulges my fears.

The cards here indicate that if I want to overcome these fears, a better option is to consciously reach for a more optimistic view of what the changes might result in while making sure those things that are important to me stay whole and cared for along the way.

DECK USED:  MYSTIC FAERIE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How am I different in my romantic relationship than I am with others?

Tarot Mucha

Reading Summary: Vulnerable (Five of Pentacles) and uncertain (Nine of Cups Rx) and more open to allowing my emotions to overflow (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  In my romantic relationship, I allow far more vulnerability to rise to the surface and be shared with you than I would ever allow others outside of that intimate relationship to see.  I share with you my uncertainties and fears, my worries and self doubts.   I share with you all of these things, and I share with you my emotions, which is something I very rarely share with others in any true depth.  With you, though, I allow those emotions to spill over within the safety and security of the knowledge that you want them… need them… and will love me no matter how intense or disorganized or messy that emotional part of me may be.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

One Brick at a Time

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IMG_3365Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused upon allowing yourself to step back and see a bigger picture.  I’ve kind of lost what the whole message of this meditation was about, but what really stuck with me concerning it is how sometimes, when I need some especially calming meditation, I lie down in the bottom of the tub with the shower running and watch the drops of water slowly drip down the sidewall of the tub.

Sometimes, I need that. That closed off and bearing down on the minuscule.  Sometimes when the world becomes overwhelming, that time can help me find center in the middle of the overload.

But it’s important not to stay there.  You have to be able to bring yourself back open tot he world again.  If not?  It’s not healthy.

The Tower - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Tower card, which is traditionally a representation of sudden changes that cause chaos and upheaval.

Sometimes the stuff that falls apart needs to do so.  And sometimes?  What needs to fall apart has to do so at our own hands. The Tower is a representation of chaos and destruction, but there’s nothing here in this imagery that speaks to me of it necessarily being a surprise.

There’s only so much space in the world.  Sometimes when we outgrow our egg, we have to crack it and break free of the shell in order to find something better.  Sometimes?  No one can do this work but you, yourself.

These Tower moments are by choice, but that makes them no less powerful.  In the rubble of the mess laid bare, you can then build something better in its place.  Now is the time of destruction and that’s okay.  Just keep in mind when the dust settles that returning to the old way of life is like a chick trying to crawl back inside it’s busted egg.   It isn’t going to work.   It’s time to build something new in its place.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I continue to align myself with lunar and seasonal energies moving forward?

Arcana Iris Sacra Tarot

Reading Summary: Even in times when things are good (Nine of Cups) and it feels like it’s a good time to rest (Nine of Wands) and take stock (Nine of Discs), always stay open to learning new things (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  These cards are about dedication. It’s always easy to reach for your faith when times are hard.  In difficult times it’s natural to reach for one’s faith for stability and hope. But in good times, we often forget as we become distracted by other things.  We slack off on leaving offerings, and do not place our faith and its customs as a priority.  The cards are indicating that to continue aligning myself with the seasonal and lunar energies moving forward, it is important to remember to continue upon my  path and in the elements of my faith in good times and bad.

DECK USED:  ARCANA IRIS SACRA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How do other’s perceive me?

Tarot of the Silicone Dawn

Reading Summary: Enabler… Okay so that’s an intuitive hit but let me work it out.

It has to do with using my long history of experience (Six of Cups) to spark the inspiration of others to go after what makes them happy (Devil and Ace of Cups), even if that sometimes means that they use their resources towards that end rather than towards more practical means (Five of Swords and Seven of Wands).

Take Away: Slightly embarrassing moment?  I was scared when I pulled for this question that the cards would tell me that people perceived me as a know-it-all. 

What’s indicated in the cards is that I encourage people to go after what makes them happy rather than always opting for the practical and responsible option. I can definitely cop to this, especially in the tarot community. My enthusiasm for cartomancy and vast array of decks in my collection probably make this pretty inevitable.

As I have become more and more comfortable socializing in different tarot circles, rather than keeping to myself as I have in my past, I’ve found that I really enjoy sharing my collection as well as my enthusiasm with those that enjoy these things as well. I don’t really see anything wrong with that.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SILICONE DAWN

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What have I learned about myself through this month’s tarot challenge?

78Tarot Elemental Tarot of the Natural

Reading Summary:  Too much time alone (The Hermit) leads to  a struggle concerning resistance to change (Death Rx) and indecision (Hanged Man Rx).  I handle these things better when they are shared with others (Two of Water).

Take Away:  Essentially?  I need the emotional support of others to help me though times of change and issues that create indecision and uncertainty.  When left on my own to deal with those times of change, I end up digging in my heels rather than allowing that change to flow over me and through my life.

DECK USED:  78TAROT ELEMENTAL TAROT OF THE NATURAL

 

Trying to Find the Tracks

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on a topic that comes up quite a lot.   That is the topic of meditation being about the practice, not the accomplishment.

Practice is the key word.  We practice.  We do it.  We work at it.  It is a journey.  And meditation is all about that journey, not some imagined finish line or perfection standard that is both unrealistic and unattainable.

Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, which means that they both came out of the deck together.  In fact?  They were so together that at first I didn’t realize there were two.   The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Cups with the Tower card as a jumper.

Dark Mansion Tarot Lollygagging –> Tower Moments

That is what I see.   And honestly, I feel like this is a repeating message lately.  I’m gearing up for the holiday season, but I’m not feeling the “oomph” that I need to prepare for what’s coming.   I know you say that I am super focused on responsibility and goals, and you’re right…. but there’s something missing.  Some part that I’m not connecting with this year, and it’s hindering my progress.   I need to get past it or figure out what it is and work it out, because I would very much like to avoid that crashing chaotic change that the Tower presents.

And that is what these cards are.  They are a warning.  They are not a prediction so much as an indication of what is needed to keep things on track.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: What relationship(s) in my life encourage growth?

Ghosts & Spirits Tarot Reading Summary: Those that add a little spice and a sense of adventure into my life (Knight of Wands), offer a sense of security and safety (Four of Pentacles), and touch my heart (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  It’s sort of funny that I was anticipating a far more specific response from the cards for this.  Instead, it gave me the information I need to look at my relationships with others (everyone from my bosses to my friends and loved ones) and examine each with that criteria in mind.  The answer in these cards doesn’t point to any one person or certain relationships, but rather encourages the evaluation of each relationship to find the qualities within them that… fit. This allows for an interesting perspective that I’m definitely going to be taking forward with me through the near future (or beyond).

Deck Used: Ghosts & Spirits Tarot

Sometimes Shit Falls Apart

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on how the benefits of a calm mind created by daily meditation assists in a better life.

This was a very apropos topic, considering the card that I pulled today (more on that below), but I do agree with the topic for the guided meditation today.   I have noticed that on the days where I do not manage to fit my meditation in during my morning routine, that the day seems harder, longer… and just overall a bit more stressful.

On a side note, something else I’ve noticed is that if I hit the snooze in the morning… I feel way crappier when I get up (and throughout the day) than I do if I just get my ass out of bed when the alarm goes off the first time.    I think I’m going to have to ban myself from hitting snooze, or rolling back over for more sleep when I wake up early on a day I don’t need to.

Today’s draw is the Tower card of the Major Arcana.  This is a card that is representative of sudden, abrupt, and unavoidable change.  I think that a lot of people look at this card and have an immediate “oh shit” moment, and honestly?  Me too.  Not because I think it is a bad card.  I don’t.   But, like many people, I hate the process of change.  The end result?  Probably great… usually great.  You adapt and you move on.   The process?  That shit sucks.

When I look at this card, I see that ‘oh shit’ moment.   I see the struggle, as the beavers prepare to fell the tree and the bird that called the tree home grabs what he can and makes a run for it.

What I see isn’t something I see.  It’s something I feel when I look at the card, but am unable to pick apart and explain HOW I get there.   And that is that evolution is inevitable and required.   Shit has to fall apart in order to make way for better shit to come forth.  Sometimes?  It feels like the end of the world, but like the depression that sometimes nips at my heels and at other times swallows me whole… there IS an end to the chaos, and things always fall back into balance again in the end.   The key is to ride it out, and strive to stay safe through the process.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot