Today’s meditation was thirty eight minutes long, and was a bit different than the norm. foxi ☾, who is one of our members (also moderator) on the Tarotholics Discord server has started doing occasional guided meditations on the server and he did the first one the other day. They were kind enough to record it so that those that couldn’t attend when it was going live could listen back later.

There was nothing in the meditation that created a negative reaction with my synesthesia and I found their voice very relaxing.  There were a couple of things that didn’t really match with my beliefs (like the mention of “the creator”), but it was easy enough to change those moments into something in my mind that did match such as “the energy of creation” and, all in all?  It was a terrific meditation.  The best I’ve done in quite some time.

Today’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unity, attraction, and harmonious partnerships.  It is not just about romantic love, but about finding that mutual connection with others…. that thing that makes two people just “click” and be on the same wavelength.

In my life, I often feel a weird sort of negative anticipation when it comes to working with and interacting with others. Almost trepidation, which keeps me careful and watchful of what I say and how I say it long after most around me have transitioned to being comfortable.

It’s like…. I worry continuously that I will misstep, say the wrong thing, insult or anger them, etc.  This is from my upbringing, and never being able to say anything right.  It has been reinforced by some pretty epic fall-outs of friendships over the years.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message here is a reminder that some of the lessons that we carry with us can create struggles in our present lives, and that those struggles can often influence or affect others.  It’s a reminder that it’s important not to get too down on yourself for these struggles and setbacks.  We’re all doing the best we can to relate to and connect with one another.  Sometimes it works… sometimes, sadly, things go wrong. It doesn’t mean you should give up.  Not on connecting with others, not in yourself, and not in others either.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Beltane – The Seed, The Work, The Bloom

Reading Summary: You push to do better (The Seed – Six of Wands) because you care about others in your life and want to create a safe, stable, and secure home (The Work – Ten of Coins). But it’s never going to be enough (The Bloom – Five of Cups).

Take Away: You can only depend on yourself to judge what is “good enough”.  If you wait for others to tell you what’s good enough, you’ll work yourself to the bone and never get the okay, or you’ll constantly be cutting your potential short because other’s standards don’t coincide with your own.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT 2ND EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do the Beltane Spread

Dandelion : How can I use my inner strength to help me in healing old wounds?

The Hierophant – Own the lessons learned from these old experiences and carry them forward to help others. In sharing your experiences and lessons you’ve learned with others, you heal yourself in the process.

Bee : Where could I put in more effort to help my community?

The Chariot – Give what you can and don’t worry about the rest.  It’s not all up to you.  You can offer without taking on responsibility, and that would be the best and healthiest way for you to provide more to the community.

Garnet : What do I need in order to foster a greater sense of self-empowerment?

Two of Thunder – A stronger sense of decisiveness.  Sometimes it can be hard to weigh choices and make a decision.  Sometimes, I have a habit of standing back to watch and wait a bit instead of deciding right away.  To foster self-empowerment, working on less “waiting” time and a bit more immediacy to my decision making process could help.

Swallow : Where do I need to more openly display my love and loyalty to others?

Flower of Thunder – My mother.  I need to find a  way to connect with my mother that does not result in us clashing all the time.  It always seems that we end up at odds, and as much as I want to build some sort of relationship with her, it’s something that I’ve struggled with for years.

Malachite : How can I better use intention to bolster the abundance in my life moving forward?

Judgement – I need to make sure that I am focusing on where I want my life to go and what I really want to do with it.  This isn’t about careers, but about the man that I want to be and the people I want to surround myself with.  I will then be able to bolster the abundance in my life by the simple act of keeping my focus upon these things.

Goat : How can I best overcome obstacles before me at this time?

Three of Cups – Reach out to those that are nearest and dearest and allow them to not just help me out, but bring a sense of fun and celebration into the process. Obstacles just don’t seem as tall and imposing when you’re smiling and laughing, and you need them to help give you that lift.

Primrose : How can I add more of the exuberance of young love to my life?

The Emperor – Claim it.  Acknowledge it.  It’s already mine.  The relationship that I have with Gideon may be coming on 13 years long now, but it also often feels like it’s still shiny and brand new.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT

I deleted a handful of posts that I’d fallen behind on here on the blog instead of trying to play “catch up”.   I hate it when I have to do that, but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and a good deal of weight is lifted off my shoulders when I let go of the “catch up” and just start from now.